leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge

Sunday Sillies: The Diarrhea Song

April 19, 2020 / 22 Comments
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge

I was paging through an old journal last week that was written in the fall of 2004 and I came upon a 7 page entry where I penned 75 verses to the Diarrhea Song. As I sat in my basement haven, smoking a bowl, I suddenly found myself in a fit of hysterical laughter. So I figured I would share some of the best verses here. If you do not appreciate toilet/bathroom/poop humor, you should probably just stop reading now and move on to something more intellectual, more practical, or more inspirational. I do have lots of posts in my blog archives that fit those descriptions, but this post is none of those things. This is purely for the sake of shits and giggles. Literally.

The Diarrhea Song is a timeless classic that children and adults who appreciate potty humor have enjoyed for generations. My kids think it is the funniest thing they have ever heard. My sister and I laughed so hard when I shared this find with her. My husband rolls his eyes at us for having strange senses of humor, but he will laugh out loud at the more clever verses. Because, let’s face it, poop is funny, farts are funny, and those embarrassing accidents that we have all experienced at some point are the funniest of all (after our humiliation has subsided, of course).

leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge

If you are continuing on with this post, I first want to make sure that you know the song I am referring to and that you are singing it in your head as you read along.

Some people think it’s funny, but it’s really brown and runny. Diarrhea, Pbllbp, Pbllbp. Diarrhea, Pbllbp, Pbllbp.

The Diarrhea Song

I don’t really know how to spell the sound of two short wet farts in quick succession, but you kind of curl your tongue inside your mouth and blow air outwards or something like that. Go on and try it. And then sing along. Now let’s have a look at some of the better ones from my list…

  • When you’re climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter. Diarrhea…
  • When you go out trick-or-treating and you’re wearing what you’re eating. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re walking ‘round the town and your underwear turns brown. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re sitting in a chair and you have an anal scare. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re climbing up the stairs and you stain your underwear. Diarrhea…
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
  • When you’re sitting in a class and you pee out of your ass. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re lying in your bed and you feel a turtlehead. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re playing with your cat and you feel a giant splat. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re talking to your fish and your heiny starts to squish. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re walking around the zoo and you have uncontrollable poo. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re visiting the monkeys and your heiny’s feeling chunky. Diarrhea…
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
  • When you’re hanging with your mom and your heiny drops a bomb. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re painting Easter eggs and something’s dripping down your legs. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re eating dogs at Geekers and something’s filling up your sneakers. Diarrhea… (Geekers is a hot dog place in my hometown).
  • When you’re fishing at the docks and something’s filling up your socks. Diarrhea…
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
  • When you’re turning off the light and your butt starts clenching tight. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re running to the head and you crap your pants instead. Diarrhea…
  • When the toilet is your goal but you can’t make it to the bowl. Diarrhea…
  • You know have an issue when you’re out of toilet tissue. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re at the bar a’drinking and something starts a’stinking. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re digging in the dirt and you feel something squirt. Diarrhea…
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
  • When you’re driving in the car and your undies turn to tar. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re driving in a truck and your pants fill up with muck. Diarrhea…
  • You know you’ve lost all power when it comes out in the shower. Diarrhea…
  • You’re gonna start a’bitching when it comes out in the kitchen. Diarrhea…
  • You know you’re in a mess when you poop on your best dress. Diarrhea…
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
  • You know you’re in some trouble when your heiny starts to bubble. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re racing for your home and your heiny starts to foam. Diarrhea…
  • When your stomach starts to cramp and your underwear feel damp. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re swimming in the river and your tummy starts to quiver. Diarrhea…
  • You know it’s really mean when you crap in someone else’s jeans. Diarrhea…
  • You need to say you’re sorry when it happens at someone else’s party. Diarrhea…
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
  • When your belly starts to ache and your heiny starts to quake. Diarrhea…
  • You get a sudden hunch when you’re wearing today’s lunch. Diarrhea…
  • When you feel something slimy oozing out of your heiny. Diarrhea…
  • When you had some peas to eat and they’re dripping to your feet. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re eating in a diner and something’s poking out your heiner. Diarrhea…
leather skirt, camo bomber jacket combat boots, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
  • When you have to scream and shout because it’s forcing its way out. Diarrhea…
  • When you start to do a dance because you’re about to poop your pants. Diarrhea…
  • It really is the pits when you have the runny shits. Diarrhea…
  • When you’re flying in a chopper and you really need a hopper. Diarrhea…
  • You know you’ve reached the end when you shit on your best friend. Diarrhea…
  • And my newest one…my sister challenged me to write a coronavirus verse…When you’re coughing up your lungs and you get the coronavirus runs. Diarrhea…

And there you have it. Clearly I have possibly lost my mind. Or at least the tiny bit of it that was still in tact about 6 weeks ago. But did I at least make you smile?

Which are your favorites? And do you have any verses to share? Please add them in the comments! I need some more laughter, for you can never have enough of it!

Keeping it on the edge,

Shelbee

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Outfit Details: Jacket, Hoodie, and Tights-Torrid / Skirt-Thrifted / Boots-Gifted from Husband / Necklace-c/o Happiness Boutique / Earrings-Old

I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.

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