leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge

I Get by With a Little Help from My Friends & #SpreadTheKindness Link Up #160

February 11, 2020 / 58 Comments
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge

I get by with a little help from my friends. Sometimes I need more help than other times. Sometimes I need less. Sometimes I don’t want any help at all. And sometimes I may not survive without the help.

Sometimes I am strong enough to ask for help. Other times, I am too weak to admit that I might need help. I have the ability to reach out, isolate, hide away, seek assistance, talk it through, deny it all, help myself, and wake up the next day with a new found perspective.

Sometimes I can get caught in a vortex of negativity while other times I can sit on the outside of a cyclone and merely bear witness. There are times when I can stand far enough away from the impending storm to remain unharmed. Yet there are other times when the hurricane sneaks up silently in my blind spot and knocks me on my ass.

I have learned escape methods to find my way to safety, but there are times when those methods are either unavailable or I have had a lapse in memory and cannot access them. There are also times when my emergency escape is so well rehearsed that I find my way to safety with ease and confidence.

leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge

I have a lifeboat that I sit comfortably upon surrounded by the luxuries and comforts of a healthy and stable life that I have built. But every now and then, a rogue wave materializes and sends me plummeting beneath the surface getting tossed all about struggling to make my way to the surface and gasp for air, that one breath that will essentially save my life.

It is inside those moments, the ones when you are nearly drowning and have lost all perspective of everything except how you can get some air, when you catch glimpses above the water’s surface of the kind and loving faces of your friends. You might see panic on their faces, but often you just see undying love as their hands plunge into the depth of the roaring waves to pull you out.

Those faces that you see in those moments, the hands that grasp for yours, the ones that are calm and steady as they toss out the life preserver that will save you once again, those are the people for whom this post is dedicated.

And if by chance, you lose grip of their hands or the life preserver doesn’t reach you and gets ripped out to sea, these are the friends who willingly and without hesitation risk their own safety and security to dive head first into a wicked undertow to search for you. These are the friends who may even be afraid of water and unable to swim, but they find the courage somewhere to just go because you need help.

leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge

I have relied on these friends a million times and I have been this friend on more occasions than I can count. I am grateful for all the times my friends have saved me and I am blessed to carry that kind of strength within myself in order to be a safety net for them. But sometimes, the safety net tears and needs to be sent out for repairs. These things are quite unavoidable as everything in this world can only withstand so much.

I am feeling right now that my safety net, while not yet destroyed, is inching closer and closer to a point beyond repair. Like I kind of need an entirely new replacement. But in the midst of this need, I also feel like I have been tossed out to sea in a raging storm. My net is broken, my lifeboat is capsized, and I am being pulled further and further from the shore where the hands of my friends are grasping to reach me.

While I am just beyond arm’s length, I remember that I am quite a skilled swimmer. The struggle is real and the waves are strong, but I am stronger. I can hear the voices of those friends who cannot physically reach me cheering as loudly as possible. They are offering me words of support and encouragement as they coax me closer to the shore. If I can just make it there, I know that I will find respite as they wrap me in blankets and unconditional love.

Once I am dried off and rested and can take my own survival equipment in for the necessary repairs, then I will be ready once again to be that friend for others. But for now, right now, I need a little help from my friends.

leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge

Do you have friends like these? Do you appreciate them as they should be appreciated? Maybe today is the perfect day to give them thanks. For none of us can survive without them.

leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge

And now your featured favorites from last week.

Reader Favorite (Most Clicked)

Ratnamurti of You Are Unique shared a heartwarming and nostalgic post, Moving in Different Worlds, where she reflects upon her childhood experiences that have impacted her life and how she interacts with people from all different walks of life. I was moved by the post and the sentiment she delivers in the beautiful imagery that she has created of years gone by from her own life. Definitely worth reading!

You Are Unique

My Favorite Fashion Post

Cheryl of Cheryl Shops shared the prettiest dress in her post, What to Wear on Valentine’s Day. I absolutely adore this red floral print with the ivory moto jacket and red booties. It is the perfect outfit not just for Valentine’s Day.

Cheryl of Cheryl Shops

My Favorite Non-Fashion Post

Catherine of Not Dressed as Lamb shared a profound post about the effects that our words can have on other people, “Yes, Your Bum Looks Big in that”-My Thoughts on Brutal Honesty. I think all too often we don’t realize the impact that our words carry and if we are not careful, we can be quite destructive. So it is important to be mindful and to be kind while still maintaining honesty but in a less than brutal manner.

Catherine of Not Dressed as Lamb

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Keeping it on the edge,

Shelbee

Linking up with these Fabulous Link Parties.

Shop my look…

leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
leopard sweater, orange skirt, color blocking, tights with sandals, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge

Outfit Details: Sweater-Kohl’s (Exact) / Skirt (Loft) and Coat-Thrifted / Tights-Torrid / Shoes-Old Navy (Exact) / Gloves-Isotoner / Earrings-Michal Golan

I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.

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58 Comments

  • Jill

    February 11, 2020 at 11:40 am Reply

    This is beautifully written Shelbee! Our friends are our safety nets and this is a good reminder that we need to let them know how much we appreciate them! Loving this combo! Your sweater is so cute!

    Jill – Doused in Pink

  • Chrissy Rowden

    February 11, 2020 at 12:18 pm Reply

    Yes! We were created for fellowship. We were created to love, support and lift up each other. Soooo, one: you look adorable and your creative use of colors and textures is so fun in this outfit. The shoes are a fabulous fashion surprise! Two: message me anytime you need prayer, I’ll pray. Anytime. Hugs my friend. You are loved, cherished, valuable, worthy, fearfully and wonderfully created. Not because I said so. Because HE did.

  • Ruth Josey

    February 11, 2020 at 12:56 pm Reply

    I’m so sorry you were feeling all of the feelings when you wrote this Shelbee. We have days and hopefully that’s all it was….just a day. Or 5 minutes that seemed to bring a whole day down. I have an emotional barrier so I tend not to ask for help but I play things out in my head a lot to get me back into a good place. But I’ve been the rescuer quite a bit and there are a few times I’ve felt like distancing myself a bit to save myself but then decided I’d feel worse if I did that than if I went down with the ship for a bit. What you’re doing in writing it down is probably one of the most therapeutic things you can do, though. Write it down, get it out, then go back and read it the next day and see if it really is as bad now as it felt then. If it is, then I don’t know what to tell you because you know all of this much better than I do. Have you thought about writing a book from a fictitious standpoint – your writing and descriptions are so vivid and they reach out and grab and hold onto the reader. I think you’d be awesome at it. And how gorgeous you look! Red and turquoise – I’m going to try it – and I love that pop of yellow in your sandals (and that you’re wearing tights with sandals. That’s so 60’s and I love it!). Oh, and the rocks of the walls in your backdrop remind me of Rice Krispies – such wonderful texture! Thank you so much for the link-up!

    Ruth
    https://voguefauxreal.com/2020/02/09

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 11, 2020 at 8:34 pm Reply

      Ruth, thank you so very much for this wonderful comment. I actually am feeling great today. I wrote this yesterday more because I was feeling like I was the savior friend in too many situations and it was quite literally sucking the life out of me. In an effort to not make anyone who may read it automatically think I was speaking about them, I sort of shifted it onto myself. If that makes sense. I needed to get it all out in order to process it and I also needed to hear the message myself. In fact, once I started writing it, I kind of lost all control over it like the words were coming from outside of me. That happens to me often when I write. I do have big ambitions to write a book sharing all of these things, but the idea overwhelms and scares me to the point that I shove back into the back of my head so I don’t panic about it.

      I was really happy with how these colors played together. And I love tights with sandals! Maybe it is the 60’s girl that lives within me!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Karen

    February 11, 2020 at 1:03 pm Reply

    Wise and inspiring words – thanks Shelbee. And what a gorgeous palate of colours you are sporting. Who’d have thought they would all work together, but they do, grounded and connected by the black, I think. X

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 11, 2020 at 8:27 pm Reply

      Karen, thank you so very much! These words sort of just poured out of me without my control! I think I needed to hear them as well. And I very haphazardly paired these colors together. I was unsure at first as I was just experimenting and I ended up really loving it, too. I was shocked at how well they worked together. And I agree that the black grounded the colors perfectly.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Ellibelle

    February 11, 2020 at 2:29 pm Reply

    A great written article, Shelbee. And really loving how well the colors coordinate in this outfit. I wouldn’t have thought to put the teal with the red but it looks gorgeous, and really loving the style of that sweater! Vacation time sounds like fun, especially this time of the year!
    Thanks for hosting the linkup!
    Ellibelle’s Corner

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 11, 2020 at 8:18 pm Reply

      Ellie, thank you so much! You know, this outfit sort of happened by accident. I was just feeling a little crazy and started adding unlikely colors together. The result was that I loved it! I have worn this same outfit multiple times already. Vacation time begins in less than 48 hours! I am so excited.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • FancyBoy

    February 11, 2020 at 3:24 pm Reply

    Friends are just everything — I treasure my friendships
    Those yellow shoes are so fun…
    Also, honesty doesn’t have to be brutal— It’s usually possible to relay the same message, integrity intact and true, minus the cruelty

  • Dee | Grammy's Grid

    February 11, 2020 at 3:36 pm Reply

    Thanks so much for hosting! I’m linking up with MY VALENTINE’S DAY MIRROR (LOOKING-GLASS PROMPT) and my UNLIMITED MONTHLY LINK PARTY 9 where all entries are shared on social media if share option is available, open February 1 to 26.

  • jodie filogomo

    February 11, 2020 at 5:46 pm Reply

    You have such a wonderful way of expressing your thoughts Shelbee. Where would we be without our friends…even on the good days!!
    I have gotten SO much better about asking for help now that I’m older…and it’s a blessing.
    XOXO
    Jodie

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 11, 2020 at 8:10 pm Reply

      Jodie, thank you so very much! I am trying to get better myself! And I most certainly cherish the good days with friends. In fact, I had an impromptu get together with a friend this morning and I felt so rejuvenated after it! When friends share their good energy with each other, what an amazing thing that can be!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Patrick Weseman

    February 11, 2020 at 7:31 pm Reply

    So very beautiful. I need this reminder at times. I have been feeling like that lately but I look at every day as a gift and try to ride the waves of life. Learning things and doing things that I didn’t think I could do or survive situations I never thought I could. Everything is always a learning experience.

    Looking so very wonderful. Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful week.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 11, 2020 at 8:08 pm Reply

      Patrick, thank you so much! I think I needed the reminder as well. That seems to be the way my writing goes…when I need a reminder or to process something, it seems to pour out of me with ease like it is coming from somewhere else because I need to see it. Lots of times, I stubbornly stand on my own. But there are times when we do need our friends.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Darlene

    February 11, 2020 at 8:12 pm Reply

    You are so right–words matter. We can be kind and still be honest. This piece of writing should go into that book we all keep encouraging you to do, my friend. Heartfelt, touching, and honest. Love it. And your turtleneck is SOOOO cute!! You look amazing.

    xx Darlene

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 11, 2020 at 8:40 pm Reply

      Darlene, thank you so much! I know, I know…this book! The idea is reeling through my head daily! I am heading out for a 10 day road trip on Thursday and when I return home, I must get to work on this! I so appreciate all of your support and encouragement.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • ratnamurti

    February 11, 2020 at 8:15 pm Reply

    Shelbee, you run close to and from the heart. I have some friends who, when they ask if I’ve got time to catch up for a coffee, then I know that something big is going down, and they need someone to talk at. For hours. I am there asap. And I have a couple of friends whom I can do that to, also. So hope that things turn soon for you. And, wow, you featured one of my posts! I was so feeling for you that I almost missed it! Oh happy day, for moi. Thank you xxxx

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 11, 2020 at 8:39 pm Reply

      Ratnamurti, thank you so much for your kind words. I am feeling much better today. I was just getting a little weighed down yesterday but then I had a lovely coffee date with friends this morning that completely uplifted me. We all have our times when we are the helpers and when we need the help. Finding that balance is crucial! And it was my pleasure to feature your post! I wanted to use the cover photo but it wouldn’t load correctly, so I had to use the only other photo from your post!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Cheryl Tucker

    February 11, 2020 at 9:46 pm Reply

    Shelbee, you take my breath away with your writing talent. You should write lots of books. I’m reaching for you babe along with your other dear friends and I know you are a strong swimmer so together you will reach a better place soon. I understand your feeling though.
    Peace!
    Cheryl

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 12, 2020 at 12:17 pm Reply

      Thank you so much, Lauren. I am definitely finding that authentic friendships are very hard to find these days. It makes me sad sometimes, but I guess I just need to embrace the reality of it and nurture the friendships that are worth nurturing.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Laura Bambrick

    February 12, 2020 at 3:33 am Reply

    Isn’t there a saying that like attracts like? As in clearly you are an amazing friend to attract wonderful people in your circle. It’s really nice to have people to help you when you are feeling down. I am glad to see from your comments today is a good day for you!

  • Michelle

    February 14, 2020 at 5:53 pm Reply

    I am so sorry you have been feeling so lost. Does winter make things worse in that regard? While I am fortunate to be blessed with very stable brain chemistry, I notice that winter brings more feelings of needing to hibernate, of avoidance, of a bit of sadness. And you’re right, those friends we can count on to hold out a hand, give encouragement, let us know we are loved are so special and deserve recognition.

    Love the teal cheetah sweater!

    Michelle
    http://mybijoulifeonline.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 17, 2020 at 4:14 pm Reply

      Michelle, thank you so much! Winter definitely does affect mood swings and feeling more down. Especially where I live. It seems like everyone suffers from a Vitamin D deficiency in the winter here. But I am in North Carolina now feeling very much rejuvenated already! Hopefully that feeling will last until winter ends.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Tianna

    February 14, 2020 at 6:59 pm Reply

    I think we all have those times when we need our friends and vice versa.That’s definitely one of the many beauties of friendship. You look so cute in this outfit! Hope you have fun on your road trip xx

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Shelbee on the Edge