Follow the Work Wherever It Leads You

September 17, 2018 / 33 Comments
This is not a sponsored post.

I keep telling myself these seven words. Over and over again. Follow the work wherever it leads you. I started this blog over three years ago as an outlet to express myself creatively through my writing and through my personal style. I also wanted a forum where I could share my mental health journey in the hopes that it would help others on similar paths to the one I have traveled. Time and again, I am met with this deep urgency to find a larger forum to spread my message…a message of self-care, empowerment, strength and courage, kindness, love and light. And time and again, I find myself right back in the same place…sharing my stories, my message, my lessons right here on my blog.

Cardigan: Old Navy.  Similar here and here.
Tee shirt: Target.  Similar here and here.

Honestly, I do not know exactly how many people read my posts. I have approximately 2,500 followers on Instagram, less than 800 on Facebook, and the numbers are even smaller on Twitter and Pinterest. Do those followers even click on the post links and read what I write? I have no idea. According to Fohr Card, my reach is under 9,000 and per my WordPress analytics, I get about 10,000 page hits per month. Putting all those numbers down in black and white makes me realize that this little blogging operation of mine is just that….little.

Necklace: Etsy.
Earrings: Happiness Boutique Vintage Inspired Statement Earrings.

But I keep feeling this tug at my heart that is telling me more people need to read these messages. I feel this obligation to share the struggle that is mental illness combined with the struggle that is life. I feel a responsibility to offer up this sort of road map that I have managed to create along the way…the self-created guide that helped me survive and led me to a place of serenity and happiness.  Because if I managed to come out of that darkness, then others can to.  I am not a superhero, by any definition, just a survivor.  A regular person who battled internal demons and won.  And I want to help others win their battles, too.

Jeans: Torrid Boyfriend Jeans.
Boots: Torrid.  Similar here and here.

We all struggle. Every single day. Life itself presents us with challenges and decisions every single minute of every single day. Complicating the story all along the journey with things such as mental illness, physical ailments, financial distress, loss and tragedy. None of us are immune to what life and the universe throw at us indiscriminately. And I am at a loss trying to figure out how to share this message of self-empowerment with more people so we can all win at this game of life.  At least for the short period of time that it will allow us to win.  Because the ending is same for all of us. And unfortunately it comes too quickly. So we had better make the best of it while we can!

I have written over 600 posts on my blog. That is a lot of writing, a lot of words, a lot of messages. I have just started to compile them into Google docs without all the photos to try to organize something into one clear and concise work of writing. And I really don’t know what I am doing. It is an overwhelming task, for sure. It is tedious, time consuming, mundane, and really kind of annoying. It is also busy work that I am using as an excuse to avoid doing what I really need to be doing…and that is to get focused, get organized, and find my real voice.

Then add into the mix, you know all the stuff life throws at us, and now I am working three different jobs and trying to find the time to continue on in the direction I want to be heading. Whatever that direction is. I’m not even certain. Upwards, onwards, outwards, forwards. Something like that. I feel a bit like my wheels are spinning in the mud. Or maybe more like I have lost control of the vehicle completely, have spun out in a dizzying cycle of spirals, and have developed a sense of vertigo and a loss of direction in the process. Now I need to find a good mechanic to repair the vehicle, then I need to wash it, wax it, and shine it, and invest in a better GPS.  Maybe then I can get back on the road to where the work is trying to lead me.

In the meantime, I guess just writing all this down is following the work…who knows where it will actually lead. Writing is cathartic and reveals a lot about ourselves just through the process of doing it. Hopefully to the place that I want to go. But it is probably more likely that it will take me to the place I am supposed to be. Only time will tell…but I am responsible for my own actions and my own destiny. Only I can do the work that will lead me there.

So bear with me, my friends, while I clean up, reroute, and find my way…just following the work.

Where has your work led you?  And what have you done to get yourself unstuck when you find yourself lost along the way?

Keeping it on the edge,

Shelbee

Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups.

I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.

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33 Comments

  • Kellyann Rohr

    September 17, 2018 at 8:34 am Reply

    Sounds to me sweet Shelbee that writing an ebook is where you’re headed! Your message is worth sharing and definitely helps others. You are a talented writer and your positive outlook, kind spirit, and honesty are so valuable! I can’t wait to see where this takes you next!
    xo,
    Kellyann

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 17, 2018 at 9:49 am Reply

      Thanks so much, Tamar! I will try to share more on IG! I try to share 3 posts a day on there, but I hate typing all the words on my phone! I wish you could post from a computer to IG. I guess they haven’t made that an option yet! But that is a great idea and I see a lot of people who post long messages on IG. I guess I need to stop being lazy about it! Thanks for the suggestion.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Victoria

    September 17, 2018 at 11:28 am Reply

    Laziness and confusion combine to hold me back. I understand your dilemma. Busy work gets on my nerves and a lot to do when trying to share your story is busy work. Good luck on your journey.

  • Liz

    September 17, 2018 at 3:37 pm Reply

    What a cute leopard top! And I totally understand where you’re coming from here. I know that sometimes it feels like no one is reading but trust me, they are and you never know how much your posts helps them <3

  • Emma Peach

    September 17, 2018 at 7:03 pm Reply

    I think writing an E-book is a great idea! Maybe you’re frustrated with the limitations of a blog, and having the ability to write long form is what you need. Taking stock and regrouping is something we all need to do from time to time, I’m sure you’ll find the answer. Love the leopard print btw!

    Emma xxx
    http://www.style-splash.com

  • Nicole

    September 18, 2018 at 1:40 am Reply

    I click everyone, and read every word (a lot of times more than once)! Somehow you are for sure in my head and say exactly what i need right at the right time. You are working in the moment and towards something so big, special, and wonderful; for each and every person who needs it. So Ms. Shelbee, you are on the edge and I don’t think you need reroute, i think you are traveling right where you need to be. Everything will happen right when you need it to, just as it always has 😉.

    oxox
    One of your much needed and biggest fans ~ Nicole

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 18, 2018 at 9:59 am Reply

      Nicole, I don’t even have the right words to express how much this means to me! And that’s strange for a wordsmith like myself, to be at a loss for words. So all I can say is thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for validating what I do and supporting me along the way!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Maria | passion fruit, paws and peonies

    September 18, 2018 at 12:34 pm Reply

    I completely agree with KellyAnn – I think you should use your posts to re-write the main messages. Put them together as an e-book. You have a bigger following than me and it can feel so tedious working so hard for such a small result. But, you have something important to share that you are both passionate about and really good at expressing. Don’t forget to breath and live in the moment too my friend, you have a lot on xxx

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 18, 2018 at 11:46 pm Reply

      Maria, I cannot thank you enough for this comment! I think that is what I have in my head to do, but for now I am just distracting myself with getting all the words moved to one place where they are easier to cut and paste and move around. I appreciate your support and encouragement so very much!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Claire

    September 18, 2018 at 8:30 pm Reply

    You are doing great fitting everything in Shelbee. Yo always inspire me. Can not wait to hear more about where the work leads you. I am looking for a job to run along with my blog. I am hoping this will inspire me more to write with different stories too. Thanks for sharing at #CreativeMondays, hope to see you tomorrow for our next blog hop.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 18, 2018 at 11:28 pm Reply

      Claire, thanks so much! I am so glad to hear that I inspire someone…because frankly, I am exhausted right now as I sit here answering all the fun comments! But I wouldn’t change it for anything. I am having the time of my life! Oh you will find so many amazing experiences and meet so many wonderful new people in your new adventures as well.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Amanda McCusker

    September 19, 2018 at 5:50 pm Reply

    Beautifully written! I absolutely understand the struggle to find your voice. I have been trying to do the same. I took my blogging break to finish writing my novel…which I did! The first draft is finished, but there is still so much work to do. It is overwhelming and I don’t really know what I’m doing. Now, I’m back here, posting to my blog Positive Practice Living in an attempt to keep the chaos in my head to a minimum with this need to write it down and share. It felt like you were talking to me when you shared about your writing journey. I wish you all the best, I would love to read your journey in a novel, you have a powerful story. So as we stumble through this journey I say, Cheers! A toast to keep moving forward and follow the work wherever it leads. (I love that, such a powerful mantra!)

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 19, 2018 at 9:46 pm Reply

      Amanda, thank you so very much for this! It is so helpful to know that others are traveling a similar journey. And the way we can all help each other is so powerful! I am so excited for you that have you completed your first draft! I am still fighting the fear of feeling overwhelmed…and so I flounder. But I will get it together soon! I can feel in my soul. Follow the work wherever it leads, indeed! Cheers to you as well!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Helen C.

    September 20, 2018 at 12:13 am Reply

    What I really like about shelbeeontheedge.com is that I am reading the thoughts of another woman, close to my age, that is in ANOTHER CONTINENT than me, that is facing life the way she can and is sharing her thoughts sincerely. How often do you find that? OK, I also like the posts abut clothes, because clothes are interesting, jeje, but I feel like a connection with your blog (and 2-3 more I have been reading the last few years). I have been thinking for years to start my own blog, but I haven´t done it because I am afraid about receiving aggressive comments and because I actually think just commenting is not that bad itself, jeje. It shows we can be united, although far away. I believe in women been united. Patriarchy has always wanted us antagonistic to one another. Being united is not only the answer but is also fun as well ❣️
    I do find inspiring your thoughts and writing, Shelbee, so thank you for having this space for us to communicate 😘

    P.D.How is everything with your work(s)? Hope you are great and enjoying this new phase of your life!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 20, 2018 at 10:10 am Reply

      Helen, I absolutely love your perspective! It really is amazing how well we have connected and related to one another from different continents…showing us that women everywhere, no matter where we live, our cultural backgrounds, etc., we all still struggle with the same things that life throws at us. I am so grateful to have met you through my blogging and I am so honored that you find inspiration in my writing. Women supporting women is such a valiant endeavor and I am fortunate and blessed to have found myself within a community of women who do just that. Thank you for all of your support and your friendship!

      As for you writing a blog, I say just do it! At least start writing your thoughts down, you don’t have to hit the publish button until you are ready. As for receiving aggressive comments, eh, it happens to us all. And it can be upsetting, but as long as you stay true and confident within yourself, you will handle them with grace and ease. Or you can always just ignore them, too. No need to engage with that kind of stuff anyway. If you ever do decide to take the plunge into blogging, I am happy to help you with anything at all!

      Work is going great. I am loving the consignment shop. I am so within my element there and the people who walk through the doors are all so wonderful . But I am tired. Like really, really tired. But I am sure once I really get in the groove, that will pass. Thank you so much for asking!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

      • Helen C.

        September 20, 2018 at 7:08 pm Reply

        🙂
        I am glad work is ok, minus the tiredness of course. I don´t think that ever goes away, at least speaking from my experience.. But fulfillment, everyday communication with other people, and money, are a plus! I hope your family, especially the kids, deal well with the change as well. School also started in the US a week ago, right?

        I have been thinking of starting a blog for ages! If I ever start one, I will sure ask you for advice, thank you, Shelbee ❤️❤️❤️

  • Alicia

    September 24, 2018 at 11:06 am Reply

    I think the best thing when I get stuck is to just keep going. Hopefully it all finds a way of forging through, and it usually does, with probably too much worry from me (which usually presents itself when I am trying to sleep) 🙂

  • Lucy At Home

    September 27, 2018 at 6:59 pm Reply

    I love that you have a cause – I think all good writing should have a cause, a mission to help someone – then it becomes about more than just the writing or the individual – it’s about making the world a better place. But I also know the frustration of putting your heart and soul into a post and then only a handful of people reading it. I hope you find your new direction soon #blogcrush

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 27, 2018 at 10:56 pm Reply

      Lucy, thank you so much for those very thoughtful and encouraging words. I guess when we write like this, we do it for ourselves in the first place…the catharsis is what is important. But then when we realize that it can help others, that’s when we feel the desire to expand. I really appreciate all of your support and kindness in my journey!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

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Shelbee on the Edge