What’s the Big Hurry About & Spread The Kindness Link Up On the Edge #779
I need to rant.
I was going to post my rant on social media but I have found that people on social media have increasingly become a mean and nasty bunch who will literally tear you apart for just about anything. So I decided to keep my rants on my own platform where you can choose to read it or not and I can block any ignorant comments that may be posted. So there.
The question that leads to my rant is this…Why is everyone is such a hurry lately?
I have noticed that most drivers on the road these days completely disregard speed limits. Unless I am misunderstanding the meaning of posted speed limits. It seems as if many drivers view the number on the sign as the minimum required speed while I have always understood it to be the maximum safe speed that you are permitted to travel. Am I incorrect?
When I am traveling at the speed limit, drivers behind me seem to get super irritated at my unwillingness to go faster. And my thought is this…if you need to speed because you are late getting to your destination, that is not my responsibility. Manage your time better and leave earlier. I am not going to drive any faster than I am driving. You know why? Because I don’t have to! I allow myself enough time and I am almost never in a hurry. If you decide to bully me from behind to try to get me to drive faster, your only guarantee is that I will go slower. And guess what? It’s not illegal to travel below the speed limit. It is, however, illegal to go over it. I give the government enough of my money already so I am not going to be a in a position where I am required to pay them more via a speeding or traffic ticket.
The posted speed limit through the campus of my children’s schools is 10 mph. That is really slow and almost difficult to maintain so I generally creep up the long hill in front of the intermediate school at about 12-13 mph. Yes, that is speeding but I do believe law enforcement grants a little bit of leeway within a few miles per hour. But let me tell you…I make so many people angry when I drive at the posted speed including other parents, teachers, and even school bus drivers. I have watched more than one bus driver in my rear view mirror flailing their hands and yelling at their windshield. I can only assume it is directed at me since the bus hadn’t picked up any kids yet so they surely aren’t yelling at them.
The other day as I crossed into the 10 mph zone traveling at about 13 mph, a car came flying up behind me and the digital speed check sign starting flashing bright red as it registered their speed at 37 mph. In a 10 mph school zone. During school hours. I immediately slowed down to 10. As I came to the stop sign in the middle of the high school parking lot, the same car behind me got so frustrated with me for actually coming to a complete stop that they flew around me on the left and took off through the parking lot. They literally passed me at the stop sign because I stopped. Gasp. How dare I?
And the 20 mph zone that runs directly in front of the high school is ridiculous. Most people completely disregard the bright flashing “Slow Down” sign when they exceed 20 mph. And then they get mad at me for slowing them down if they get behind me. Honestly, I am shocked that there aren’t more pedestrian accidents along that stretch of road the way people tear through there with no consideration for anything except their own convenience.
Now can we talk about the stop signs? I know it is unwise to speak in absolutes but I swear I am the only person who brings my car to a complete stop at stop signs. I have been yelled at and flipped off more times than I can count because I stop at stop signs. I have also nearly been hit more times than I can count by drivers who think stop signs are optional. It is at the point that it is driving me insane!
Actually, just this week, I watched a kid cruise right on through a stop on his electric scooter as I was turning left into the crosswalk. My understanding is that anyone coming to a stop sign with a crosswalk, whether they are in a car, on a bike, on a scooter, or on foot, also has the responsibility of stopping and looking to make sure it is clear to go. This kid did not even slow down in a highly trafficked area. I quickly recognized the kid from the neighborhood and then I remembered that I have watched his mother blow through stop signs on more than one occasion while the crossing guard and children were in the crosswalk. So I guess it makes sense that her child would also disregard the rules.
Oh, and then there is the issue of red lights. Red means stop, correct? One day last week I was out running errands and I counted at least 8 different cars that ran very red stop lights. Not yellow ones. The opposing light was already green and I almost got hit twice when I started to move into the intersection on the green light. In fact, the red light runners have become so prevalent that my husband said if he is first at a light when it turns green, he waits until all of the opposing cars have come to a complete stop before he proceeds into the intersection. I have started doing the same. And guess what? The people behind me get really flipping mad when I hesitate for a moment at the green lights!
Also, a few months back, there was a terrible accident in my town that left the victim in critical condition. The speed limit throughout the entire city surrounding all of the residential areas is 30 mph. One car was slowly backing out of their driveway when another vehicle traveling over 100 mph slammed them to pieces. I honestly don’t even understand how you can get your vehicle to 100 mph when there are stop signs and stop lights on nearly every corner. Oh right, I forgot those are all optional!
If our police force started ticketing every traffic violation, our city would probably have enough funds within a year to solve our homeless problems. But alas, our police force is much too busy arresting our homeless population and breaking up domestic disputes. That’s another rant for another day. But I will say this…if the police are required to intervene in your personal relationships three times they should be allowed to suspend your relationship in the same way that they can suspend your driver’s license after three cell phone violations. Then maybe they would have more time to do actual police work. But what do I know? I am just a quiet, contributing, law-abiding citizen who risks my life every time I step outside of my house!
When I was a child and relied on my parents to drive me places, my mother was perpetually late, thereby making me late for everything. I was punished countless times by coaches and teachers for arriving late. They did not care that my tardiness was out of my control. I remember standing impatiently, ready to go on time, tapping my foot while waiting for my mother to get moving. I can’t even explain the anxiety it caused me. But I did make a promise to myself when I was young that I would not live my life in a hurry. I vowed to always be early for things in order to minimize the stress that tardiness caused me.
It took me decades of carefully curating a lifestyle for myself that minimized the rush. Because being in a hurry is stressful and sets a high anxiety pace for the entire day. I want to go through my days in a peaceful and calm manner not in a state of harried anxiety. And the only way to accomplish that is to get an early start so there is never a need to feel rushed.
It’s funny how we can become just like our parents or we can do the exact opposite. My mother’s mother was always early. That must have driven my tardy-prone mother crazy just as her tardiness drove me crazy. However, I have managed to instill a sense of timeliness in my children. While I do have to rush them along in the mornings, they are still always early. Never right on time because right on time is too late in my opinion. When you are early, you are calm and relaxed and can set a nice easy pace for the day which minimizes stress and anxiety. There is enough stress and anxiety in the world, we don’t need to add to it with tardiness.
Just the other day, a lady who was in front of me in the grocery store check out line apologized to me for taking too long. I just giggled a little and told her that I have curated my life in such a way that I am never in a hurry (except when I have to pee) and so she need not apologize to me. Can you imagine the world if everyone slowed down to my pace? It might be much more pleasant, I think!
Are you a speeder, a stop sign blower, a red light runner, or a responsible driver? Besides people like me, what other types of things drive you crazy out on the roads?
Rant over.
Now a brief bit about my outfit before I go. This purple dress was a new purchase from this summer. The color and tee shirt fabric allow it to transition nicely into the cooler fall weather. I paired it with a newly thrifted olive green crocheted cardigan. I absolutely love the pairing of dark purple and dark green. Keeping with autumnal tones, I added my preloved brown cowgirl boots, my tan Panama hat with the brown braided belt band, and one of my favorite combinations of necklaces and earrings. I wore this outfit last month for date night with my husband and it quickly became one of my favorites. But now the weather has gotten really cold and it is time to bring out the leggings and cozy sweaters.
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Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
24 Comments
nicole orriens
I just love, love, love your purple tiered skirt! I would buy that too in a heartbeat. I’m a great fan of tiered skirts!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Nicole! This is a wonderful dress and ever so comfortable, too. Have a lovely weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Steph@Crazylittlelovebirds
Love that dress! Such a pretty color. It definitely is sad that most people are in a hurry these days. I started taking a back road when I travel to Denver from our home because of this exact reason. Many people get frustrated when you are going the speed limit; they want you to go way over just because they want to hurry to their destination. I’m like, “Would you just chill and enjoy the ride?” There’s always construction here with posted “fines double” signs, and people go through there speeding like crazy! They throw their hands up, flip you off, and even in those extreme cases, exhibit road rage. Smh. Shelbee, great topic, and sadly, too many people are living that rushed life. As always thank you for the linkup.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Awww, Steph, thank you so much for joining this discussion. People are in way too much of hurry to enjoy the ride and it’s really sad. I am always saying if you need to get somewhere that fast, travel by airplane or jet and stop endangering everyone else on the road. We keep having accidents here where cars are literally running over construction workers on the highways, too. How scary it all is and just another reason that I prefer to stay home! I hope you have a peaceful and safe weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Joanne
YES! My youngest had a car follow him down an entire road honking at him the whole time because he was doing the speed limit! Even when we were passing the speed limit signs that clearly showed he was doing the proper speed. I feel like people are not only hurried and rushed but also only seem to care about themesleves– and it really shows with their driving. Where we live people often pass you illegally around turns/corners or uphill where it clearly says No Passing Zone and then flip you off.. as if we’re the ones driving like a$$holes! My husband drives a giant work truck with utility body and often towing a trailer as well and he’s had to pull OFF the road twice becuase he’s found a driver coming at him in his lane passing another driver illegally in their lane on back roads. People are crazy! And also– does no one understand what blinkers are used for anymore either… sorry, you got me started. This is one of my biggest rants.. We are a whole family of 15 minutes early is on time and one time is late and have definitely cultivated a slow and relaxed lifestyle.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Rant on, my friend! It drives me absolutely crazy, too. I seriously bitch about bad drivers on a daily basis. It drives my kids nuts! But hopefully, it also instills better driving habits in them when the time comes. I have some friends who fall into the category of the entitled, me-first drivers and they will swear to the heavens that they are safe and responsible and “timid” drivers are the danger. I guess obeying the traffic rules makes one timid. I view it more as responsible, but to each their own I guess. One of my favorite karmic events is when you see a shitty driver get pulled over…before an accident happens. People are crazy and so I stay home as much as I can! Stay safe out there!
xoxo
Shelbee
Amy Johnson
I enjoyed your rant and totally agree with it. People drive crazy these days. Thanks for the party.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Amy! It felt good to rant it out!
xoxo
Shelbee
Pam Ecrement
I love this purple and green combo! You look gorgeous in it. On the issue of driving, I agree with what you’re saying. It seems driving becomes increasingly dangerous. Recently, while driving the speed limit on a two lane road with a double yellow line in the middle, a car came racing past me without much regard for me or cars coming in the opposite direction direction. (And this is only one of a number of examples…)
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Pam, thanks so much! Oh my gosh, people really have no regard for anyone but themselves especially on the road. It really does infuriate me. I have become sort of like the unofficial traffic police. If you are speeding behind me, I will slow you down. Until you do some crazy stuff like flying past me in a no passing zone or at a stop sign. Stay safe out there, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Sally in St Paul
This purple + olive green combination is so terrific! I haven’t really played with this color palette but I need to do so now that I’ve seen your look.
What is up with people that they need to drive 100 mph in a residential neighborhood, etc.? That is crazy dangerous and irresponsible. Driving is a dangerous activity even when everyone follows the rules of the road and is paying attention. During the pandemic, my husband’s uncle was jogging in his neighborhood and was killed by a hit and run driver. This was in a residential area that is accessed through a side street and doesn’t get any through traffic, so it must have been someone who lives there, a visitor, a delivery person. Hearbreaking.
I also prefer an unhurried life. One thing is that it allows me to be more present in the moment rather than always thinking about where I’m headed.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Sally, thanks so much! I can’t wait to see what you come up with in this color palette. I am so sorry that happened to your husband’s uncle. What an unnecessary tragedy. After writing this post, I remembered an incident from many years ago when I was a high school swim coach. One of my swimmers was crossing the street in a crosswalk leaving a high school football game. There were tons of kids coming out of the game. A car stopped at the stop sign at the intersection to allow the kids to cross when the car behind the stopped car decided they weren’t waiting. They zipped around the stopped car and plowed over this girl. She is lucky to believe alive. She had so many broken bones and was wheelchair bound for about a year. Her high school swimming career was over as well. And all because one car was too impatient to follow the rules. It is a crazy, crazy world we live in. Stay safe out there, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Di
Oh Shelbee, this is such a thoughtful post, I agree with you 100%. Part of my commute to just about anywhere is especially congested, and it is always nerve-racking to drive on that particular pat of the road. Drivers seem downright belligerent to rule the road lawlessly! They seem to assume everyone else will get out of their way in spite of any rules or regulations. I, too, like to leave plenty of time to get to my destination early, to keep calm and keep my blood pressure down! I do love your bridge season outfit. The colors together are gorgeous and I think crochet is starting to become a new four season classic. Be safe and have a lovely weekend. Thanks so much for hosting the link up!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Di, thanks so much! The way people drive these days really does reek of entitlement and me-first mentality, doesn’t it? I also hate when a car is merging into highway traffic and they expect the cars already traveling on the highway to slow down or even stop to allow them to disregard the yield sign at the merging point! People are so selfish and the lawlessness is becoming more and more apparent. But I guess when there aren’t any consequences, people figure they don’t have to follow the rules. Stay safe out there, my friend, and have a wonderful weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Rena
I couldn’t agree more with your rant. It really does feel like everyone’s in such a rush these days, and basic driving courtesy has gone out the window. I appreciate how you tied it back to mindfulness and the choice to live at a calmer pace, that truly resonates. And by the way, your purple and green outfit combo is gorgeous! I hope you have a fabulous weekend. Thanks for the link-up 😊
Rena
https://finewhateverblog.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Rena, thanks so much, my friend! Not only has basic driving courtesy gone out the window, I feel like all basic courtesies have left the building! Businesses don’t return phone calls, service people are unpleasant and even rude, and the whole damn world has just gotten itself into a really bad mood! I hope you have a safe, calm, and stress free weekend! I’ll be making Halloween costumes. LOL
xoxo
Shelbee
Marsha Banks
OK, I have to drive on the bypass (hahaha…bypass, my well, you know) to get to both of my sons’ homes. If I want to get to my daughter’s home easier, I take an interstate. The bypass (AKA 465) used to have a speed limit of 55. No one, and I mean no one, drove that. If you drove it, you were creating a traffic hazard. I tried, the first few years we lived here, to stick to 55 because I am a born rule follower. I soon learned, if I wanted to be safe and not rear-ended, I’d better drive at least 65. And, there are at least three lanes! When I first started driving to the museum, I would take the bypass. Now, I take the back way which only adds a minute or two, and I can drive the speed limit. As for stop signs, the people in my town see those as suggestions. Actually, many of them on the “country” streets are being replaced by roundabouts which I love…as long as the person in front of me understands when it’s their time to go. I, too, wait before pulling out at stoplights. I think I drive (pardon the pun) many people nuts by my “proper” driving…like turning into the lane closest to me like you’re supposed to do. The police around here are known for not doing much in the way of speed enforcement (unless your skin has a bit more melanin). I’m not 100% sure what they do with their timeI I don’t know how bad the homeless situation is in our town, but I know it’s bad in Indianapolis. I am kind of surprised we haven’t heard more about ICE there as it’s known for being a very blue spot in very red Indiana.
OK, I am not like your mom was, but I am always struggling to be on time (meaning 15 minutes before the time I’m supposed to be somewhere). It’s those last 10-15 minutes that are my downfall. I’m ready, but then I have to take care of the dog’s needs, make sure Mike has what he needs, and then I have to pee so I’m cutting in on my 15 minutes earlier than necessary time limit. But, when it comes to doctor appointments, I don’t plan to do anything but arrive right on time because none of them ever call me back right on time. There’s always at least a 30 minute wait if not longer. I can use my time more wisely at home.
You are absolutely stunning in this gorgeous purple dress. I love purple and green together! Gosh, you weren’t kidding about your weather turning fast if you’re already breaking out the cold weather clothes. We did turn the furnace on this week. I would be OK because I’d just add layers, but Mike likes to wear short sleeve shirts year round…dufus! Thanks, my beautiful friend, for the link up!
https://marshainthemiddle.com/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Marsha, thanks so much for this wonderful comment. Oh, there are definitely some highways where you have to speed in order to not get crushed by the other drivers. However, on roads like that I will only go 7 mph over the speed limit. Honestly, the scariest highway driving I have ever done was in Virginia. There are stretches of highway there where the speed limit goes up to 70 mph and the tractor trailers are insane. They barrel down the highway going 85-90 and it scares the hell out of me. Then there are other trucks that will go 55 in the left lane in a 70 mph zone when they aren’t even supposed to be in the left lane. It is the worst!
As for being early to appointments, I used to always arrive at doctor’s appointments 10-15 minutes early until Covid when they made you wait in your car until your appointment time. Now I arrive about 3-5 minutes early for appointments…just enough time for me to check in and use the bathroom!
Oh my gosh, my kids insist on wearing short sleeves all year long as well. They wear hoodies as their outerwear and they hate coats. We live in one of the coldest places in our country and none of the kids around here wear coats. I see them walking to school in 20 degree or colder temperatures in just hoodies! I guess when you live your whole life in a cold climate, you become impervious to the chill. I am not originally from this place so I never properly acclimated to the cold. Brrr.
I hope you have a lovely weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Nancy
I’m the same as you. Never in a hurry, I take my time to get ready. I always said when someone took his time in a shop or whatever, don’t worry I don’t have to catch a bus. Here, in the west of our country, you need to start driving when the light hits green. Otherwise the ones who have red lights will continue to drive. It’s absolutely madness. But there is no supervision, no police on the highways or any roads.
Your dress looks amazing on you, those colors are definitely yours! Have a great weekend. We are going out for dinner tonight with friends!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, my friend! It is absolute madness out there! My kids have a friend who drives and last night I gave her $40 for gas and a very grateful thank you for driving my kids around so I don’t have to! She was so polite and hesitant to take the money, but I kept stressing to her the anxiety it relieves for me to not have to do the driving and then I made her take the money. LOL While I’m not ready to give up driving entirely, that would mean a loss of independence, I wouldn’t mind having a personal driver! Hahaha. Have a great weekend. I hope your dinner was wonderful!
xoxo
Shelbee
Melynda
The posted limits are always being tested here in Texas. It can be a hazard to be on the roads during busy times, even out in the country where we live. But more often than not, we all arrive at the same stop light once we hit the next town down the highway. So there was no real savings of time, just a frantic driving environment. Have a great weekend!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh my goodness, Melynda, I hear you on that! Although it does make me laugh when someone is in a frantic hurry and ends up in the same place at the same time as the person who is not driving frantically. Be safe out there, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jill
Love the color of your dress! Such a gorgeous shade of purple. Thank you so much for the feature!
Jill – Doused in Pink
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Jill! I really like it, too!
xoxo
Shelbee