Shelbee Asked…How Do We Deal with the Aftermath of School Shootings?
For the first post in my Shelbee Says…series, I actually asked the question myself. I posed it to my friends at BetterHelp because it is an issue that has been weighing on my mind and my heart lately and I knew I wanted to address it on my blog. However, it is topic that I am not all that well versed in and wanted the professionals to tackle it for me. My question was this…“How do we deal with the aftermath of all of the school shootings that have been happening recently?” I have very young school aged children and frankly this madness scares the hell out of me. While I feel they are a bit too young to really understand, I also am not a parent who likes to keep my children in a bubble either. Reality is reality and awareness is important. I think this post is very timely as well in light of the very powerful March for Our Lives that happened in yesterday. Continue reading for information about grief counseling in the aftermath of school shootings.
Everyone Needs Grief Counseling After a School Shooting
With all the school shootings and mass shootings going on lately, it has become a common news story. Every day it seems like we hear about a student or former student bringing a gun to school and shooting a lot of his or her classmates and teachers. Many people blame it on gun control but the more likely aspect is the lack of mental health care provided to youth in the United States. Since the beginning of the year (only three months ago), there have already been 18 school shootings in the United States with the latest one being at the school in Parkland, Florida. Last year (2017) 126 people were shot in school shootings and 43 of those victims died. In fact, since 2013, there have been over 300 school shootings in the United States. That averages to about one shooting per week.
*This is contributed content.
Lack of Mental Health Care
In many places in the United States, there is approximately one psychiatrist per every 30,000 patients. For those under 18, it is almost impossible to get treatment because the average health care insurance does not cover mental health or it does not pay much of it. There are also very few available beds at the inpatient treatment centers that most of the adolescents with these types of serious mental health disorders need so desperately. Parents struggle with getting the help their children need due to lack of insurance, funds, or just the availability of programs for students.
Cost of Mental Health Care
According to the experts, close to 50% of adolescents in the United States have a serious mental health condition and less than half of them get the treatment they need. Why? Because their parents cannot afford it. The cost of inpatient treatment for teens is approximately $6,000 to $20,000 per month. That is more than most people make! There are state funded mental health care facilities but most have waiting lists and you pretty much have to give up parental rights to your child to get them treatment. So, you have to give up your child to get them help if you cannot afford the ridiculous cost of treatment.
Talk to Your Child
So, how do you help your child deal with the recent school shootings? Even if your child was not a witness to the attack or did not even know anyone who was, they will be affected by these attacks and need to talk to someone about it. There is no way to protect them from it completely, nor should you want to. Shielding your child from the real world is not helping them. Even if you limit their news access, they will hear about it on Facebook or from their friends at school. And they need to know if they are safe or if they should be scared to go to school. Many students are anxious about what may happen to them every day when they go to school. Even the adults worry about what may happen, so you know your child is worried, too. You need to talk to them about their concerns and they may even need to talk to a professional. BetterHelp.com offers child therapy online to make it more convenient for both you and your child to get the treatment needed to help them deal with the anxiety and grief counseling. You do not need an appointment and will not even need to leave the house.
*If you or your child are having issues coping with feelings of grief, anxiety, or fear in light of these traumatic events, please start the conversation now. And reach out for help. Don’t allow the problem to continue perpetuating.
Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
18 Comments
Susan
What an important post Shelbee. It’s a tragedy that school shootings have become a regular occurrence in this country. Obviously we are failing our children. Thanks for sharing–excellent advice. xo Susan http://www.themidlifefashionista.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Susan, thank you so much for reading. It really is such a tragedy and it is so important that we talk about it and find new ways to try to prevent these things.
xoxo
Shelbee
Helen C.
Tough topic. I read a lot about this matter the last few weeks and I like your approach, laconic but to the point.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Helen. It is a very difficult topic that’s why I let the experts write it for me! But it is an important topic that needs to be discussed. So there you have it…me talking about it.
xoxo
Shelbee
Helen C.
Well, you have a blog, it´s the prefect platform to talk about it 🙂 so thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I am following the latest discussions about this matter from a ¨safe¨ distance.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Helen! A safe distance is never a bad idea!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jody Shuler
Great article Michelle!! Just giving resources that people need to know about isba huge help. Well thought out and well place. I also appreciate your honesty about your feelings on this matter.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jody, thank you so much for reading. It is such an sensitive yet important issue that needs to be discussed.
xoxo
Shelbee
Victoria
I have no answers for why shootings keep happening but I know we are not as parents and society handling them correctly. You are so right about the mental health aspect we need more money for mental health and better screening for who need the help. The sad thing is there is something wrong with a lot of our youth today. The use of drugs is so high, cutting, binge drinking and the shootings we are failing our children.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Victoria, thank you so much for your insightful comment. The mental health system definitely has been failing the youth of today. Drug use and drinking are just symptoms of underlying mental health problems…self-medicating and escaping what mental anguish is happening. We, as parents, educators, authorities, and adults, need to make some serious changes. Talking about it is just the first step.
xoxo
Shelbee
Alicia O'Brien
I am so grateful to live where I do and we can afford to seek help for mental health issues, and also strict gun laws.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Alicia, thank you so much for reading! It is such an important issue and I don’t understand why we can’t figure how to appropriately provide the necessary resolutions, particularly in the area of mental health care.
xoxo
Shelbee
Wrae
There is not one solid answer for these shootings. We can do our best to keep ourselves and our kids safe and informed as possible.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Wrae, I agree with you completely. There is not one solid answer. Every situation is unique and different, but it is always scary. Thank you for reading. I hope you have a great weekend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Emma Peach
It’s shocking that parents have to give up their children to get them mental health treatment! We often moan about the NHS in the UK but we are so lucky to have it. Thanks for linking up Shelbee, hope you have a lovely Easter 🙂
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Emma, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this topic. It really is quite a faulty system. So I will keep talking about these matters to raise awareness and hopefully effect even the smallest bit of change. Happy Easter to you as well!
xoxo
Shelbee
Marilee Gramith
I appreciate your efforts to research and report on vital facts related to this topic. Did you run across statistics on the counselor to student ratio in our schools? (it’s abysmal) Clearly we only pay lip service to this issue. We don’t put energy, thought or money into real solutions.
Trump threatens a renewed arms race with Putin like its a game only they are playing. No role models to look to there.
To a large degree our schools simply reflect the illness and violence in our society. We all know that our children and ourselves aren’t safe in the world we live in. Sometimes I feel like we’ve reached the lemming stage and I’m not sure if we can turn back.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jude, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on the topic. And boy, I hope we are not past the point of no return. So I will keep doing what I do and spreading awareness on such topics in the hopes that I can make the smallest bit of difference to help implement change. It is a scary, scary world, for sure.
xoxo
Shelbee