Embrace Your Inner Weird, Own Your Truth & #SpreadTheKindness Link Up #142
The past few days have been exponentially weirder than usual. At first, it was kind of throwing me for a loop. But I am learning to embrace all things no matter how strange they may seem at first glance. We live in a world that is dominated by social media and technology. For those of us who did not grow up with the ease of access to people from all over the world, it is sometimes off putting how bold people can be when they have computers or other devices to mask themselves.
You may think I am going to bash such brazen boldness right now. But I actually am going to do quite the opposite. I am going to praise those of you who use technology to bolster your bravery. The bravery that you may not otherwise have. If it takes a computer or a kindle or a cell phone to feed you false courage, then by all means grab hold of that courage, embrace it, and ride its momentum until it becomes actual real courage.
We can all sit back and criticize the keyboard warriors who hide their faces while they blow off steam in the wrong direction. But let’s shift our focus to those who use modern technology to find their voices in a world where they were never heard before. When I first started blogging I was petrified to share my thoughts and my writing. It was all tucked away neatly in boxes filled with scribbled journals. I hid all my words away in a dark, damp basement fearful that someday someone might read them. But now we live in this age of technology where we can protect ourselves from a face to face onslaught of criticism if it were to come our way. And if someone blasts us in writing whether via email or a social media comment, at least we know that they never saw our initial reaction. We can read and cry and process our thoughts before we ever need to respond, if we ever respond at all. If not for this technology, I would have never had the courage to share my words with anyone.
And now because I have a presence in the world of social media, I do get approached by a wide variety of individuals. Some who really just want to connect with me because of something I wrote. Others may be looking for a love connection (Instagram seems to be the newest forum for soliciting random sex). And then there are some really bizarre requests that occasionally come my way. Things along the lines of odd fetishes and such. Things that were completely off my radar, frankly.
I know I am a strange individual. I have always existed on the periphery of what’s normal. An outsider, a rebel, a nonconformist, whatever you want to call me. I’ll own all those labels without much care about it all. Because what others think of me is really none of my business anyway. I fly my freak flag daily and do what makes me happy, marching along to a beat that apparently only I can hear. And I’m okay with that. In fact, I have become quite comfortable with that. I have spent the majority of my life on the fringes of the socially acceptable and eventually I have just adjusted. It became too exhausting trying to fit myself into some little box that kept spitting me out. So I just gave up…a really long time ago.
And in giving up my attempts to fit in, I also became hyper aware of all the other misfits out there. And they became my people. These are the people I am drawn to, the people I want to be around. The weirdos, the eccentrics, the dissenters, the oddballs, and the freaks. These are the people who enrich my existence, offer me new insights and perspectives, inspire me to embrace my inner weirdness and own my truths. Life isn’t even worth living if you can’t live in your own truth. And everyone’s truth is different from the next person.
So while my inbox can sometimes become inundated with strange requests, I pass no judgment on any of them. Some I ignore or respond with a polite, “No, thank you.” Others intrigue me and I engage. And what has often happened when I engaged, with no expectations and no judgments, is that I have made some pretty cool friends. Friends with interesting stories. Friends with odd perspectives. Friends with strange fetishes and bizarre interests. Friends who live on the outside just hoping that some day someone will accept them right where they are for who they are in all their quirkiness.
I don’t judge. Any of you. Nothing can shock me these days. What some may consider shocking, I see as fascinating. I am very approachable and I will be your friend as you try to navigate your way to living a life of open truthfulness…no matter how peculiar that truth may be.
This post was inspired by a new email friend…I met him right where he is without judgment. And my words to him were this, “And seriously, I judge no one as long as they are not purposefully causing harm to others. I say do whatever makes you happy and fuck what the rest of this twisted up society thinks with their dumb rules and harsh judgments. Live and let live! Own your truth.” And I wanted to share that same message with you all. For real. Life is too damn short for all the unnecessary cruelty that surrounds us for no reason other than a difference in lifestyle and preferences.
EMBRACE YOUR INNER WEIRD, OWN YOUR TRUTH, AND SPREAD THE KINDNESS!
And now your featured favorites from last week.
Elise of Sparkle and Slippers shared her post, Sparkly Blush, and I am dying over this perfectly pretty outfit. The sexy stilettos paired with the sparkly pink dress are all sorts of sassy and I am kind of wishing I could pull off this look!
Nora of Jacket Society shared her post, Mixing Patterns with Herringbone and Leopard. She has combined some of my favorite elements into a plethora of outfit ideas. Black and white with splashes of red, herringbone and leopard and the most amazing pair of shoes!
Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Parties.
Shop my look…
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
56 Comments
Anika
Love the idea of embracing the weird parts of ourselves. Weird is wonderful! Also loving the tights with this look.
Anika | thebibliofleur.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Anika! Weird is absolutely wonderful! I hope you have a wonderful day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kathrine Eldridge
Love that you are open and willing to hear others who need to be heard! Technology has its good points for sure. I adore this fun look and that skirt is amazing! Thanks for the link up Shelbee!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Kathrine! I am at a point in my life when I really don’t know how to be any other way. I guess that’s a good thing. Everyone deserves to be seen and heard and not judged. I hope you have the most wonderful day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Julie | This Main Line Life
It’s great that social media provides a space for people who otherwise might not be comfortable voicing their opinions, interests etc… to be heard. A great thing about approaching midlife is that I think most of us have become more comfortable with who we are and just don’t care about the popular opinion so much anymore.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Julie, thanks so much for sharing your feedback on the topic. And I agree with you completely, by the time we reach midlife we just don’t care anymore about what others think. Although, I do think there are still lots of people (even midlifers and beyond) who put a lot of weight on the opinions of others. I hope you have the most wonderful day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jill
Everyone should be comfortable with who they are and embrace their inner weirdness! I think the older we get the easier it is. This is such a fun look! Love your skirt!
Jill – Doused in Pink
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Jill! We definitely all should be embracing our quirks and uniqueness. These are the things that make us stand out from the crowd!
xoxo
Shelbee
Tamar A Strauss-Benjamin
You are such an awesome human!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aw, thanks so much, Tamar! You are also an awesome human!
xoxo
Shelbee
Chrissy
How crazy is it that I was thinking closely along these lines this morning! After reading Romans 7:7b where Paul says, “What shall we say then? Is the Law sin? May it never be! On the contrary, I would not have come to know sin except through the Law; for I would not have known about coveting if the Law had not said, ‘You shall not covet.'” I had to stop and think about it for awhile. If not for some guide or moral compass, how would I know what is wrong or what is right? To allow society to dictate what is right cannot be the way, I thought to myself. After all, this changes throughout the years and is different in different cultures. I thought about when we lived in another country, we visited remote villages where young girls were often pregnant by their fathers. It was accepted in that area. Their small society said it’s ok. Anyway, I want to encourage friends, loved ones, etc to determine what their “moral compass” will be outside of society, though that is difficult. What is truth? Some say, do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t hurt someone else…most decisions I make will have some type of repercussion on someone else…do what makes me happy…well, this changes because nothing makes me permanently happy – it changes like the tides. lol. Nothing fully satisfies so the hunt continues and the experimenting grows…anyway, how’s that for my morning coffee thoughts? haha! For real, this is what I was thinking about this morning. And judge (defined as to condemn)? No I cannot judge for I am imperfect! You’ve known me long enough to know what I’ve chosen for my “compass” (and where I feel safe). I frequently miss the mark, so again no judging. But if one comes to me and says, “I’m tired of searching, seeking to satisfy and coming up hungry, desperate (like I once was), then I will respond with, “I know of One who loves unconditionally, meets you where you are and will show you a goodness and peace you never knew existed.” My beautiful blogger friend, you always prompt the best conversations. And I go from deep thoughts to…I need those shoes and that skirt is adorable on you! 😉 Oh and yay for technology – haha. See, I read the whole post. 😉
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Chrissy, you already know how much I adore you! Thank you for reading the whole post and for sharing your perspective on the topic. I always love how you can relate to my ranting from right where you are sitting. That Bible of yours contains some really powerful messages, doesn’t it? And regardless of our religious beliefs or our moral standards, we can certainly all learn a lesson or two from those pages. And I am so grateful that you can provide the guidance to the relevant passages. These conversations always take me back to my college days…I don’t know if you know this, but I majored in Philosophy (and English) and minored in Religious Studies, so every paper I wrote and every class discussion I had seemed to revolve around these topics of morals and laws and the broken societies in which we exist and use as our framework to dictate what we are “supposed” to do and believe. But really, where is the ultimate truth? I live a life of a goodness and kindness, but I am also just as flawed as the next person…always seeking!
I really need to make my way to Florida…even if it is just for the coffee and the conversation! There’s no better reason for a trip like that anyway!
xoxo
Shelbee
Alice
Awesome post! I’m glad you wrote about the other side of what technology has done for us. It’s help me come out of my own shell too.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Alice! It gets kind of tiring to always be looking at the negative side of things! I am always willing and ready to shift the perspective to the positive!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jennifer
I think we are all a little weird. I get so passionate about talking about things I love that some people might not get and think I’m crazy. And social media can also be a great platform for bringing awareness to other causes as well. And you’re right about being some very rude people. I belong to a fandom where people are always talking shit about others. It’s exhausting.
Jennifer
Effortlessly Sophisticated
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jennifer, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on the topic! It is people’s passion about the things they love that draws me to them! I don’t even care what the subject matter is. In fact, the stranger the topic, the more interested I am. I want to know all the things and the only way we can learn is by listening to others who have a passion for and expertise in things that we are less informed about. And yeah, people constantly bashing others is much too exhausting for me as well! Keep shining your light, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Anne M Bray
1) You warm my oddball heart.
2) I was talking with someone about hot flashes (IRL? online?) and we agreed that they burn off the bullshit.
3) I embrace online life with vigor. I can nerd out about things and can’t see the loss of a reader’s attention. At parties, I get going and so often I see those furtive “how can I escape this person?” looks, and then I’m standing there by myself feeling very awkward with no one to talk to. This is why I wear ridiculous outfits. My clothing can always be discussed!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
OMG, Anne! I love you so much! You are my oddball soul mate, I think! I have felt all these same things. I get talking on and on and then I get the blank stares and the “how can I escape her” looks. Haha. You’re right…online I don’t the stares! Keep on being an oddball!
xoxo
Shelbee
Shugunna Alexander
I join you Shelbee, I’ve never fit in and love it!! Very skirt!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Shugunna! Weirdos unite!
xoxo
Shelbee
Shugunna Alexander
Also those IG messages from both the men and women are really interesting!! Had to block many…
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I agree, Shugunna. I had to block a few as well. But for the most part, I just ignore them. I think there have only been two that got a bit offensive and so I blocked. And a few I have engaged with and made good friends with them! So not all weirdos, just people trying to make connections in this strange world we live in.
xoxo
Shelbee
Karen
Brilliantly well put Shelby. I went through a time when I came across a lot of exactly the sort of unconventional people you embrace and welcome. I did the same then – perhaps I was on the fringe of it myself – and in some ways I don’t have the lifestyle or time to allow me to do that now. Hmm – I hadn’t really thought about it that way before! And I love the look! Kx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Karen, thanks so much for sharing your experiences! It is the unconventional people who make life so much more interesting! By embracing it all it helps me to embrace myself as well!
xoxo
Shelbee
Karen
Sorry – your name autocorrected!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Ha, it’s okay!
xoxo
Shelbee
Pam Ecrement
You look adorable!! Love what you put together for these shots!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Pam!
xoxo
Shelbee
Bojana
Thought provoking post as always. Online communication is a tricky thing, but really isn’t most communication. I have wondered if this is all worth it at times but the answer I circle back to is yes because of the people. Being open to learn and take new perspectives has had such a fabulous impact on my own life as a result. I may not change my mind all the time or engage but it makes me pause to consider something from a different perspective.
bosbodaciousblog.blogspot.ca
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Bo, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on the topic. I have definitely grown and evolved so much since I started blogging. My courage has grown and I feel so much more empowered to share my thoughts and stories. It is in the sharing and the community that make this whole journey of life so much more fulfilling!
xoxo
Shelbee
jess jannenga
Hi Shelbee
I am a misfit that never fit in! In my teachng job, always wanting to teach “outside the box” by being creative and utilizing music, it was often poo-pooed by others who just wanted to toe the line and stick to the script! I was bullied in school and now, at 51.. i fit in where i want to fit in! Love this message. And your outfit is adorable, love the plaid and the knee high socks with sneakers. I am all about using the computer for speaking out and using it in a positive light.
enjoy your day friend!
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jess, thanks so much for relating to my message and sharing your experience. I fit in exactly where I want to these days as well. With all the misfits and outcasts who are wickedly cool at this stage of life! I wouldn’t change a damn thing. So you and I, we will just hang together outside the silly little boxes!
xoxo
Shelbee
Ashley
I love how you embrace all facets of your personality, sister! So confident! And the schoolgirl chic vibe here is so fun!
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aw, thanks so much, Ashley! I really appreciate that. I’ve gotta be me. I don’t really know how to be anyone else.
xoxo
Shelbee
jodie filogomo
Seriously such a great message. In fact, I just said to a friend that I have been having glimpses of Iris Apfel in my outfits. Who wants to be boring anymore? Been there, done that!!
XOOX
Jodie
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Jodie! Boring is so overdone! You know, if someone raises an eyebrow at me because I’ve done or worn something strange, I take that as a compliment these days! I don’t want to be in no stinking box! I totally aspire to be like Iris Apfel!
xoxo
Shelbee
Nora Minassian
Thank you so much for the feature Shelbee! We should all feel comfortable in our skin and try to push ourselves to tap into the unknown at times.
Nora
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Nora! I like that idea of pushing ourselves to tap into unknown things! Getting outside of our comfort zones is super important, too!
xoxo
Shelbee
Lizzie
What an amazing post! I’ve know the feeling all too well and I love how you make everyone feel so comfortable in their own skin just through your writing. I agree that we should all embrace the parts of us that make us unique and stand out from everyone else. Weirdness is fun! And I love that the online community makes it so much easier for us to share who we really are 🙂
Lizzie
http://www.lizzieinlace.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Lizzie, thank you so much! That is exactly what I try to do…make everyone feel comfortable with who they are right in this moment. We all crave a sense of belonging and it so important for good mental health, too. And there is just no need for being nasty or exclusionary. It is a big, big world with lots of room for lots of different people to express themselves in any way that makes them happy. We all deserve happiness. And being weird is fun!
xoxo
Shelbee
Lauren Renee Sparks
You are darling and your message is kind. laurensparks.net
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Lauren! I am just trying my best to inject love, light, and goodness into a rather broken world. I hope I can make some small difference.
xoxo
Shelbee
Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom
Such a cute and flirty look, love the plaid mixed with the athletic knee high socks. Social media is something I love, but there really are a lot of freaks out there and you do have to be careful with it. It can be a beautiful thing if you know how to limit how much time you spend on it and you use it to build up others and not the opposite. And, if you are good about having a hard shell and not taking rude or mean comments personally. I had a FB post promotion by through a collaboration and wow, there were some mean and sexual comments on it. Since it was a collaboration, I deleted them… I personally don’t tolerate that stuff. If it was a comment where they were being critical and it was in good taste, then I’d leave it. But, there are just some mean people out there or older men that need to leave us young married gals alone (not that I’m super young, but you know what I mean! Lol!!!
Carrie
curlycraftymom.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Carrie, thanks so much! I appreciate you sharing your experiences with it! Most of the weird messages come in Instagram direct messaging but they are in that forgotten “requested” tab that I never check. Every once in a while I do look at them and I delete them. But a while back I was trying to promote my Patreon site and so I messaged all the men who were sending flirtatious messages to go check it out! (Hey, A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do). Most of them ignored me at that point! But one guy got really nasty that the site had a paywall and he wanted access to the content for free. When I told him no way, he got even nastier. So I just deleted and blocked him without another word. One friend just last night said to me with regard to this…”it’s only okay to be a pervert if you compensate accordingly.” I totally cracked up at that! And in some of my side projects, I expect the “perverts” to come at me. In fact, I kind of bank on it a little bit. But they better come with their credit card on the ready! LOL
And yes, if we all used social media and technology to uplift and empower one another instead of trying to destroy people, what a different world this would be! I am so glad for this amazing community!
xoxo
Shelbee
Laura Bambrick
That skirt is so cute! Like an edgy school girl look! I think too often we judge or are judged when we shouldn’t. Positive words!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Laura, thanks so much! I am always trying to keep a positive spin on things! It’s too easy to fall into negativity if we let our guard down. I also love an edgy school girl skirt…and I know that it leaves me open to judgments being 45 years old and dressing like a school girl! But eff it! I love it and I will wear what I want.
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
Oh, so very nice. I love the look. It is perfect. Reminds me of the school girls when I was young (I better stop-sorry). I always try to embrace my weirdness and it gets me in trouble. I know there are some interestng pics of me out there unmasked but it is what it is.
Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful rest of the week.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh my word, Patrick, you crack me up! Thanks for the compliment! And you should always embrace your weirdness. Your weirdness is one of the many reasons I like you and our friendship. I would love to see these “unmasked” pictures you speak of. LOL But I don’t want to get you in any more trouble than you get yourself in! I hope you have the most wonderful day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Cheryl Shops
I remember when my family first got America Online and I made so many friends on the Seventeen Magazine message boards—other girls who were super into fashion and self-expression, and not in the way that the snobby, super-preppy girls at my high school were. I’m glad that we’re still able to make those connections online. Although why do all of these men think that Instagram is a dating platform?! =)
Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Cheryl, thanks so much for sharing that fun experience! I never really got involved in message boards but there are so many places where you can find like minded people to connect with that way. And that’s so cool that you found a community of girls to have the fashion talk with! Instagram cracks me up the way men do use it as a dating platform…my biggest problem though is that 90% of them have private profiles, fake profiles, or zero images so you don’t even know who is talking to you! I mean, if you are seriously wanting to connect in a romantic way, you kind of have to show your face! I feel bad targeting men as the culprits on that one…maybe there are lots of women who do the same, they just aren’t soliciting me!
xoxo
Shelbee
Anna Shirley
Such a cute look, Shelbee. And quite a provocative post. o) I think we need to learn how to communicate online. I love that we are all connected whenever we are. It allows us to find people with the same kind of crazy we have even when those people are on the other side of the planet. How fantastic is that! What I can’t stand are mean, offensive, and sexual comments. Have a great day, Shelbee.
Anna
http://www.glamadventure.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Anna, thanks so much! I also love and appreciate the ability we have through technology to communicate with so many different people all around the world. I have so many wonderful friends because of it. But I agree, the mean, offensive, and unsolicited sexual comments are so unnecessary!
xoxo
Shelbee
Darlene
Your mantra, EMBRACE YOUR INNER WEIRD, OWN YOUR TRUTH, AND SPREAD THE KINDNESS! is right on!! I love it! I’m impressed with your thoughts about being open to other ideas on social media. To be honest, I don’t often post on IG as I get so many weird messages. I’m going to rethink that, so thank you.
xx Darlene
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Darlene, thank you so much! You know, the way I see it, there are all kinds of people in this world. Not everyone is “for” everyone. And we do have the luxury of picking who we invite into our inner circles and that’s great. But we also need to co-exist even with those who are not like us. It doesn’t always mean they are bad people just because they do things we may never ever dream of doing, you know? I would never solicit sex or a date on social media and my compliments to anyone are always in good taste (I think, by my standards at least). Some people really just don’t know. We choose how we want to respond. And there are a million different ways to respond even to unsavory comments or messages. I just choose to respond in a freindly way or not at all. Easy enough. I hope you have a more positive experience if you do decide to use social media more!
xoxo
Shelbee
Claire
Love your skirt Shelbee. I want one like this 🙂 Thanks for hosting.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Claire! I linked a bunch of cute ones from Amazon! I love these little plaid skirts. I want one in every color!
xoxo
Shelbee