13 Things I Have Learned in my 40’s: Celebrating a Very Special Day with Ada
I am joining my dear friend Ada of Elegance and Mommyhood once again to celebrate her birthday. Each year Ada invites some of her blogger friends to get dressed up for a birthday party and share our looks on or around May 4. This is the fourth consecutive year that I have helped Ada celebrate her special day. You can see my past outfits that I have worn for Ada’s birthday here, here, and here.
This year is a super special birthday for Ada. Not because we are being forced to celebrate virtually (we do that every year for Ada’s birthday), but because it is a milestone birthday for her as she turns 40 today.
I would like to welcome Ada into the 40’s Club and let her know what a wonderful decade of life it is! There are so many things that happen to us around this age. Wonderful, glorious things. For me, when I reached the 40 mark, I felt a monumental shift in my self confidence. With the wisdom of our experiences over the decades, we become so much more self assured in who we are, who we want to become, and how we can live our lives to the very fullest. I have found it easier to let go of the bullshit, to stick to my convictions, and to be truly and authentically myself without apology.
Of course, there is a process that gets us to this place where we can sit so much more comfortably within our own truths. We reach certain thresholds with each passing year. Certainly some people get here sooner than others while some people may never reach this place. But I really do believe that 40 is a magical number in personal evolution.
On that note, I want to share 13 random things I have learned since my 40th birthday.
- It takes much less energy to walk away from a silly argument than it does to engage.
- It is okay to say no…as often as you’d like.
- I am nobody’s savior and I expect nobody to be mine.
- We are all responsible for our own feelings and how we process them.
- Self care is necessary and works its way up your list of priorities with each decade.
- People need connections and friendships and support networks.
- You are not obligated to answer the phone or a text message as soon as you receive it. It is okay for others to wait for your response.
- Pain is a part of a life. We all process it differently on our own timelines and should not be judged for our methods.
- Acceptance is key in making extraordinary circumstances easier to process.
- Delaying gratification to get to the good stuff is a learned behavior and so totally worth it.
- A little bit of gratitude can shift your perspective in the most amazing ways.
- Wherever you are at whatever age is exactly where you are meant to be.
- Life is a big huge chaotic mess for all of us. Just sit back and enjoy the ride for the beauty is in the unexpected.
To my friend Ada, I wish you all the blessings and all the good things in life. May the next decade and all the ones thereafter be the most wonderful years of your life. Happy Birthday!
Be sure to go visit Ada’s blog and wish her a happy day. And check all of the other amazing women who are celebrating with her!
Thanks to this guy for taking the photos for this post…
Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Parties.
Shop my look…
Outfit Details: Dress and Gloves-Target / Jacket-Old Navy / Tights and Earrings-Old / Boots-Carlos Santana from Famous Footwear / Scarf-Charlotte Russe / Necklace-Moontide Arts
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
26 Comments
Jennifer
Learning to say no is a good one!!
Jennifer
Effortlessly Sophisticated
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Such a hard one, too, Jennifer! But once you get the hang of it, it makes life so much easier!
xoxo
Shelbee
mireille
Wow! Archie did a great job with the picture taking! Love that tunic dress! And you are spot on with the 13 things you learned in your 40s. Turning 45 this year and I can say that my 40s have been pretty awesome. Definitely feel much more confident about being me and learning who I am.
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Mireille! Archie is getting better with his photography skills each time that he does it for me. I am turning 46 this month and my 40’s have definitely been the best decade of my life so far!
xoxo
Shelbee
Ellibelle
Great post Shelbee. Loving your 13 random things you’ve learned. They are so spot on!
The blue tights look fabulous on you and loving the complete look!
Ellibelle’s Corner
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Ellie! I wanted to expand on the things I have learned but I was so pressed for time that I couldn’t get it done! I hope your week is off to a great start!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
Archie did a fantastic job with the photos! And I love your outfit! I’m surprised to find myself liking this brown / blue combo as I’m not very fond of brown. But there are a few shades that are the exception. I think this is one of those.
I agree with all of those things you’ve learned since turning 40. I would add: become comfortable with the idea that you are not in absolute control of your life; that sense of control is an illusion. (Maybe that is just another way of phrasing your last item.)
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Michelle! Actually, this dress is black. Maybe it is appearing differently on your screen? However, I do like brown and blue and together! And yes, accepting that we do not have absolute control is a huge one!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kathrine Eldridge
Love this cool cozy look! Your list of what you learned is priceless. Acceptance is something I am working on big time.
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Kathrine! Acceptance is probably one of the hardest things for humans to learn! It is an exercise that I must practice daily and diligently or else I will lose the ability pretty quickly! But once you get there, it definitely makes life a lot easier to take.
xoxo
Shelbee
Jeanie
40 looks great on her! I welcomed my husband to the 40’s club today 🙂 I joined that club 3 years ago.. I cannot say I have any complaints, one of my better years so far! (well minus this whole COVID19 thing).
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Jeanie! My 40’s have been my best decade of life so far as well! Happy birthday to your husband!
xoxo
Shelbee
Tamar A Strauss-Benjamin
Happy birthday to Ada!!
Super cute look!!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Tamar!
xoxo
Shelbee
jodie filogomo
This is exactly why I’m glad to be older. We learn these important things and make life so much better. Pain is a part…not the fun part. But I’ve learned that it makes the good times even better. Which is why I try to embrace every day.
XOOX
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Jodie! It is so true that we cannot fully appreciate the good stuff without the bad stuff. Every experience leads us somewhere!
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
He did a great job. What was his honorarium for doing it?
Looking very nice there, you always pop color with the tights. Very nice.
My 40’s were great. I finally grew up. Lol. I had a lot of fun and learned a lot about who I truly was. Now I am past that and it is screw it, I am bulletproof and going to enjoy the rest of the ride by my rules.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Patrick! We definitely make our own rules the older we get and the ride is so much sweeter the less we give a damn about the ridiculous stuff! Archie got a thank you and a pat on the back for taking my photos! Ha.
xoxo
Shelbee
Jem
I relate to #10 very much. When we have to work/wait at something, the success is much sweeter.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Jem! It is so true…the best things come for those who wait!
xoxo
Shelbee
Emma Peach
I totally agree with this Shelbee – I’ve been much more confident since turning 40. Archie did a great job with the photos…train ’em up young! I have to bribe Isobel to take mine sometimes, but now she wants to start a YouTube channel so the help with be reciprocal!
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Emma! Wisdom and experience definitely make life so much more fulfilling. I love that Isobel wants to start a Youtube channel! My kids have been bugging me for their own channel as well but I am not quite ready for all of that! Sometimes, I have to bribe Archie as well to take my photos. I think this time the bribe was to take pictures of me or go run errands with Daddy.
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
I absolutely love your outfit! You’re so cute!
Learning to say no has always been super hard for me, especially when it comes to family. But it has been something I’ve learned in my 40’s, too, and it has really lowered my stress level!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Michelle, thank you so much! You are so kind. Learning to say no is so very hard for a lot of people. But once you do learn how and start to feel your stress level lower, I think it becomes easier to say no more often. I guess it is all about setting our own boundaries that work for us and sticking to them. I hope you are having a great week.
xoxo
Shelbee
Chrissy Rowden
Such a fun post Shelbee. First off, I’m loving your blue colored tights with the black ensemble. And your plaid scarf looks nice and cozy, as I’m sure you’ve experienced some cold weather here lately. As for things you’ve learned in your 40s…I especially liked your number one…it takes less energy to walk away from an argument. Perhaps that’s because we feel we have less to prove? This was a creative idea for Ada’s bday tribute! And your photographer did a fabulous job. 😉
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Chrissy, thank you so much, my friend! I am the queen of walking away from arguments! Haha. Many people do not like that. They want to engage and fight and argue and I just don’t have the desire or the energy at this point in life to do so. And I am comfortable leaving things just be as they are. As for the weather here, it has snowed 3 out of the past 5 days and I am so done with it! But it looks like the temperatures are slowly creeping to where they should be in May. I hope you are doing well, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee