Transition and Edge of the Week Link Up #13

September 8, 2016 / 105 Comments

I have always considered myself a fairly adaptable person. I have moved a few times in my life and changed jobs abruptly and found myself in situations where most people would find the transition quite difficult. Yet, I usually adapted pretty quickly and got comfortable where I was at that point in time. However, a recent transition seems to be kind of rocking my world. And it is confusing me!

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My oldest child has started Kindergarten! And seriously, I am all out of sorts. Not really emotionally out of sorts. Just sort of all around out of sorts.

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Before school started, I was excited for the inevitable “more free time for me”. And now I have the free time and I am not quite sure what to do with myself. Yes, I still have my three year old with me (who, by the way, is equally all out of sorts). And yes, I still have a giant list of household responsibilities as well as a bunch of blogging obligations that I have recently taken on. Yet, I am finding myself unmotivated and bored for most of the day.

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black-white-red-outfit

The little one and I have literally been sitting around, kind of tolerating one another and by 10:00 a.m. we are searching for things to entertain us. And today is only the third day of school!

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black lace top

In the beginning (like before school started), I was actually more nervous about 8 hours alone with the little one without the big one to act as the entertainer, the buffer, Mommy’s little helper. But, truth be told, the little one has been just as unmotivated as I have been and has been playing quietly by himself for most of the morning. But this behavior is freaking me out a little bit, too! This is not like him.

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gladiator sandals

Granted, the last three mornings the only tears shed are those of the three year old. Not because he doesn’t want his brother to go to school. But rather because he doesn’t get to ride on the school bus, too!

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red purse

So, I suppose in two years when the little one starts kindergarten, it will be easy. Perhaps. But probably not. Since apparently I no longer know how to enjoy my “free time” or at least be productive in it.

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black white red outfit

Outfit details:
Top: Kohl’s (Old).
Shorts: Kohl’s (Old).
Sandals: UrbanOG (I bought these at least 10 years ago).
Necklace: Refurbished by me but original necklace is from Cato Fashions.
Bag: Merona Faux Leather Cross Body Bag from Target. The red is no longer available, but it is available in navy.

Readers with school aged children, please tell me this gets better. Or at least less weird. I just wish I even had words to describe this strange transition! Even some simple words to help articulate these emotions would be helpful. I think.

*This post may contain affiliate links which means I may earn a small commission if you click on these links and make purchases. It costs you nothing and supports my website. All opinions expressed are my own and are in no way influenced by any compensation that may be received. Thank you for your support.

Thank you to everyone who has joined my link up in the past! I am so grateful for all of the support I receive from this wonderful blogging community! This week has been super crazy and unfortunately I did not have time to comment on every post that was linked up, but I was able to visit them all and share them on Twitter. Please keep spreading the word and sharing the love!

And now…here are your favorite links from last week!

LauriePOP‘s video tutorial on Curling Short Inverted Bob Hair Style

lauriepophair

And Alison of Get Your Pretty On showed us the perfect Fall Transition Outfits: Olive Cargo Pants

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You can also grab my Link Up button, if you’d like!

Shelbee on the Edge



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Uncertain, upside down, and feeling weird on the edge,

Shelbee

Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups Where I Link Up.

I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.

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105 Comments

  • Kristin

    September 8, 2016 at 9:22 pm Reply

    I don’t have children so I don’t have any good words of wisdom, but I know the boredom feeling and it’s not good! Sometimes when I’m stressed all I want is to have less on my plate, but when the time comes I get bored and wish for more challenges! Quite an annoying cycle! On the bright side, your gladiator sandals are super fierce!
    -Kristin
    Countdowntofridayblog.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 8, 2016 at 11:08 pm Reply

      Thanks so much, Kristin! Actually, now that you have put this emotion into perspective from a non-parent viewpoint, I do remember feeling that way often before kids. It really is quite an annoying and frustrating cycle! But I guess I should have learned from it that this too shall pass. Thanks for the perspective!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • nancy

    September 8, 2016 at 9:27 pm Reply

    Oh I don’t know anything to say because I don’t have any kids! Oh yes, you were the most viewed from the week before last week! Tomorrow on the blog. Perhaps that helps! Ha ha

  • Andrea @ Living On Cloud Nine

    September 8, 2016 at 10:18 pm Reply

    Most fun sandals EVAH!!!! Oh sweetie, I understand the emotional of starting school. Two of mine went off to college and it hurts, every stage is different but every stage so emotional.

  • Heather G

    September 8, 2016 at 10:22 pm Reply

    I am right there with you, I am actually working through the transition of MY oldest graduating, going to college and who is planning to move away to Texas with her boyfriend in a few months. With the toddler starting Pre-K and my decision to leave the part time, minimum wage job I was working (but it was not working for anyone in the family, other than the wallet), I too am out of sorts.
    I am looking for writing leads, and working on building the writing of grants, the blog base and articles for various publications, but there are some days where I am at a loss.
    I’m not sure how long the 3 year old will be in Pre-K, but I am hoping to make it through soon, while I have writing time, uninterrupted.
    I hope you can too.
    Maybe call me for coffee or playtime one day.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 8, 2016 at 11:02 pm Reply

      Thank you, Heather, so much, for reading my little blog, and commenting, and reaching out! I tend to get so caught up in what I am doing that I often lose touch with the people right here! I can’t even imagine the struggle for you right now with the idea of your daughter moving to Texas. I think I might be freaking out. And all of the other balancing acts we do…especially as military families. The struggle is real, my friend, the struggle is real. You will have to let me know when you have the little guy not in pre-K so we can set up a play date!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Heather G

    September 8, 2016 at 10:26 pm Reply

    Also, I want to say it gets easier. It does, especially when you’re staring down the final three weeks of summer and you’re not sure of what to do with the littles.

    But it also gets harder. For them: Sports, Homework woes, friendship struggles, and wanting to volunteer and be part of the school while also working or trying to carve time for your needs… and then you blink and they’re turning 18, looking at college or jobs or lovers, and you’re left looking for your bearings all over again.

  • Mica

    September 8, 2016 at 10:56 pm Reply

    Love the red bag with the black and white outfit, great colour combination! 🙂

    My two aren’t at school yet so that feeling and life stage hasn’t arrived for me, but I’m sure it will! I always feel strange on the rare occasions I’m out without the boys or with just one of them!

    Thank you for the link up!

    Away From The Blue Blog

  • Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom

    September 8, 2016 at 10:56 pm Reply

    Aww! I remember when my youngest started kindergarten full day! I quickly found things to do to keep myself busy (blogging is a BIG one)! I just love those sandals, so fun and that red clutch really pops with this outfit!

    Carrie
    curlycraftymom.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 2:43 pm Reply

      Carrie, today I have the little one in day care for a few hours and I am blogging away like crazy! But then I want to sit and watch my tv shows, too, instead of kid shows…all day long! I definitely need to make myself a schedule to make sure that I am using my kid-free time productively! Thanks for the compliment and the helpful idea! Have a wonderful weekend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 2:40 pm Reply

      Jodie, thank you for the lovely compliment! And that really is true about being more productive with more things to juggle. I think when there is too much down time, you can fall into a rut. I guess I need to fill my plate!

      Have a fabulous weekend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Andrea@WellnessNotes

    September 8, 2016 at 11:17 pm Reply

    I found the hardest change for me was when my oldest started Kindergarten 19 years ago! No other transition was as hard – yes, middle school, high school, college were of course also hard, but not as upsetting. He had been without me before, but somehow it hit me hard that he now was without me for 8 hours and so much was happening, and I wasn’t part of it… Such a weird feeling. And, yes, it does get better. And different.

    Love the sandals!

    Thanks for the link up & have a good weekend!

    Andrea
    Andrea’s Wellness Notes

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 2:39 pm Reply

      Andrea, thank you so much for sharing your experience. I think you hit it right on the head. All those hours without mom when we do everything for them at home. And I put him on the bus from the start! Today is day 4 and he was helping another kindergarten kid who was riding the bus for the first time today. I was so proud of him! I guess as moms we just get overwhelmed by fear and pride and sadness and happiness all at once!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • LauriePOP2

    September 8, 2016 at 11:55 pm Reply

    Shelbee, thank you so much for my LauriePOP Where Ideas POP video being a favorite! I love you for sharing your community for so many. Are you a part of The Rising Tide Community? Its philosophy is community over competition. Started out for photographers and is now any blogger, YouTuber, etc. But you seem like you’re doing fine. 🙂

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 2:35 pm Reply

      Thank you, Laurie! I will have to check that out, for sure! Sounds like it is right up my alley! I love this blogging community and it has literally given me the purpose I needed outside of being mom and wife! Have a fabulous weekend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Julia

    September 9, 2016 at 12:00 am Reply

    So, Shelbee, it gets better. You both are just figuring out your days. I cannot tell you how many days I wandered around, plucking my eyebrows, watering half of the plants, not knowing what to do with myself every time they would go back to school. Then, I’d get a good routine and everything is going smoothly and then they’re on a break. Now, my eldest comes home every summer from college and then goes back and I swear, I still do that wasting time thing and so does my youngest every fall. It’s dumb. But, give yourself a couple more days and you and your youngest will get a routine and have your own special time together. Dreaming about free time and actually getting it when you are not accustomed to it, is very disconcerting but I have faith in you!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 2:33 pm Reply

      Julia, thank you so much for that insight! I felt sort of guilty for wasting time, but it is only the first week and I guess that is my way of adjusting. I have faith in myself, too! I will get this thing down eventually!

      Have a lovely weekend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 2:31 pm Reply

      Thank you, Kathrine! Well, that gives me hope! I used to think I was going to love the days when they start going to friends’ houses for sleepovers and I can have date nights with my husband hassle free! But that will probably freak me out, too. Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful weekend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Aimee

    September 9, 2016 at 12:34 am Reply

    I am in exactly the same boat (as you know)! One day at a time and I am enjoying getting the 2 year old something and moving on without something else being needed 2 seconds later and back and forth. But the quiet is sooo weird and he seems so quiet and lazy. Then they argue for the first 30 minutes that they are back together and then usually it goes back to normal. We have had to be outside every evening from 6-7 for us all to “chill” a bit and get back to “normal” it seems!!!!! Sending our kids out into the world is sooo scary, as is rediscovering ourselves a bit as well. I think our brains don’t know what to do with themselves!!!!!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 2:26 pm Reply

      I was hoping you were going to comment on this one, Aimee! Thank you. Right? It is totally weird? Just all around weirdness. I am so used to trying to fit all kinds of things in between kid stuff and now it’s a little easier for planning and scheduling and doing things for myself and I am stressed about it. I really think just some time is all we need to adjust. And we definitely need to get some girl time in here soon!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 2:22 pm Reply

      Lisa, while I sympathize with your off feelings, I also am comforted by the fact that I am not clueless all by myself! Being clueless by one’s self is certainly no fun at all! I will certainly share any ground-breaking information if I ever come up with it! Have a stress-free weekend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Celia M. - HighHeeledLife.com

    September 9, 2016 at 3:16 am Reply

    I finally getting back into my HHL blogging and so happy to be joining you again. Those caged gladiator sandals rock!! – I don’t have any children so I’m not sure if it gets easier – I would hope so for you. Maybe you can set some September intentions around doing some activities with your three year old … with fall just around the corner look for things like apple picking /baking pies; pumpkin patch visits; and remember to add some self care 🙂 – a mani/pedi, a facial, – these can be DIY at home … sending you hugs.

  • Patrick Weseman

    September 9, 2016 at 3:45 am Reply

    I have two adult children. My daughter is 20 and in her own world but what makes it easier for me is that my 19-year-old son lives with me, so it makes it easier.

    When they were in high school, I wanted them to become adults, now I kind of miss them being little. I know it sounds weird.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 2:18 pm Reply

      Patrick, thank you for that insight. I sometimes feel like my husband is not as effected by the growing up part, but I am sure he is. It just doesn’t effect his daily routine since he is at work all day anyway. So it was nice to hear a dad’s perspective on this. Thanks so much! Have a wonderful weekend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Shelly

    September 9, 2016 at 5:28 am Reply

    All transition is tough mom! Give yourself the time you need to make this adjustment. I wish I could offer some other piece of earth shattering advice….I’ve got nothing! I’m always just mourning they have to go to school and I still don’t get to stay home alone. lol

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 2:15 pm Reply

      Shelly, thank you so much! Actually, that little bit of advice was like a light bulb moment for me! I have been fighting against it instead of just allowing myself the time to adjust. And essentially just giving myself a break. So thank you, thank you, thank you.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Mascha

    September 9, 2016 at 5:49 am Reply

    Great combination of gladiator sandals with black lace and the red bag.
    I haven’t children… but I remember that my little brother has that bored feeling too. It was bad for him. I could that never understand (because autistic children always are busy by somewhat and with themselves)
    Have a nice weekend

  • Tina von Tinaspinkfriday

    September 9, 2016 at 7:52 am Reply

    Oh shelbee hugs for you ♥️
    It will become better 🙂
    I feel it too, this boring time. My joungest child, Sarah, work in London for 5 month and I feel sad about let her go. And she is 22 years old!
    Send you hughs, Tina

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 2:07 pm Reply

      Thank you, Jill. It was weird because I wasn’t emotional at all about sending him off to school. But now the quiet and the loss of his presence for a major part of the day is really weird! I guess I need to learn a whole new time management technique! Have a wonderful weekend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Rachel

    September 9, 2016 at 11:57 am Reply

    Lovely top and shorts. My oldest two are back in school, leaving me with the three year old twins during the day and they entertain themselves some but I do find myself wondering a bit of the same thing, what to do even after playing games with them or reading books. One perk: I have more time for laundry folding and straightening the house (since they take long naps) so that is always a plus.
    Rachel xo

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 2:06 pm Reply

      Thank you so much, Rachel! For the compliment and the insight into this beginnings of empty nest syndrome! And I must say that I am kind of jealous of 3 year olds that take long naps! My three old essentially stopped napping at about 18 months. I am used to it now, but I definitely do relish the infrequent times when he will take a nap. Thanks for stopping by and have a great weekend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Jessica Jannenga

    September 9, 2016 at 12:57 pm Reply

    HI Shelbee
    I don’t have children, so no words of wisdom, other than I imagine it takes a little time. I have bouts with feeling down, and with that can come less motivation. I try to counteract it by sitting outside on the deck, doing something ( usually blog stuff) but trying to remain active. Some days it is easy to just go back to bed. But try ! Perhaps think of a hobby or something you have wanted to try? And cute sandals!!
    Have a good weekend
    jess xx
    http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 2:02 pm Reply

      Jess, thanks so much! I imagine I will adapt to it shortly. Since I have had kids, when I find myself in a peaceful and quiet environment even if only for a few hours, it is unsettling for some reason and I can’t even enjoy it! As I am typing this, I am kid-free for the next 4 hours (the little one is in day care today) and I am trying to get blog work done but part of me wants to just sit and stare. Maybe part of it is because they are in the care of virtual strangers! Who knows. I’m sure the unsettled feelings will pass soon! And when the weather cools, I will certainly be enjoying a cup of coffee on my deck!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Ada

    September 9, 2016 at 1:40 pm Reply

    You are rocking those fun gladiator sandals my friend and remind me that I need to wear mine that I bought over a month ago. I also love the kimono-sleeve lace top.

    Have a great weekend!

  • Stephanie

    September 9, 2016 at 2:10 pm Reply

    so in love with this outfit! The shoes are just amazing!!! You look great mama!!!! It does get easier. I enjoy my days alone a bit now. I get so much blog wise done as well as around the house. 🙂 I can actually get a hot cup of coffee and drink it!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 2:49 pm Reply

      Yes to hot coffee, Stephanie! I think I am headed to the kitchen right now for that! Thanks so much for the wonderful compliment and the kind words of encouragement. I guess this mom gig is tough any which way you look at it. But we’ve got this! Thanks for stopping by and have a fabulous weekend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Jennie

    September 9, 2016 at 2:18 pm Reply

    You look fabulous and those sandals are Fierce!

    When the boys were young and in school I also struggled to find something to do with myself. Ultimately I began volunteering at their school and it worked out well for all of us. 🙂

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 2:47 pm Reply

      Thank you, Jennie! The evening after the second day of school, I signed him up for Cub Scouts and suddenly I am the den mother! So there’s one more thing added to my things to do list. Ha! I am sure once the routine really sets in, I will feel much better about it. But this week has utterly exhausted me.

      Have a fabulous weekend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Jacqui

    September 9, 2016 at 3:42 pm Reply

    Oh shelbee, I feel for you, knowing exactly what it’s like. However I’m at the other end as my children (4 out of 5) all still at home , but don’t need me! It’s an odd feeling, and one reason why I started blogging. When they start school you begin to realise that they aren’t “yours”, but they are individual people who have different views etc! I suppose it’s all part of growing up. Good luck and I know these feelings will get better. Great post btw a good read. I’m nowing enjoying my grandchild, and spoil her rotten, then she goes home to M & D!!!!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 3:53 pm Reply

      Jacqui, thanks so much for sharing. It’s like I couldn’t wait for them to become more independent, which they definitely are, but then I get sad when they don’t need me! This is life, I suppose. I’m just glad to know I am not alone!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 9, 2016 at 3:51 pm Reply

      Elise, thank you so much! I haven’t even thought about the transition to summer and back again. That is probably weird, too! I guess life is about more transitions when kids are involved than I ever imagined!

      Have a wonderful weekend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Ruth

    September 9, 2016 at 7:54 pm Reply

    Just dropped my daughter off at kindergarten and it’s so so quiet around the house! I’m sure things take a bit to get into a routine, but I’m trying to find things to do with my little one ( 2 1/2) too! I’m thinking library, a fun class, etc. during the day to keep us up and going!

    http://www.mylittlenest.org

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 11, 2016 at 12:02 pm Reply

      Ruth, it is so strange, isn’t it? I always had the older one to entertain the little one and now he’s looking to Mommy for entertainment! It’s like I have forgotten how to play with them. I think it definitely will get better once the routine really sets in. The first week of it, though, has completely exhausted me with emotions and everything else. We moms are tough though! We’ve got this! Thanks for reading and have a fabulous day!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Edye

    September 10, 2016 at 1:49 am Reply

    I don’t have any kids, but totally understand your situation. Whenever I’m sick or something changes my routine; I get all outta whack! It does get better. Slowly you’ll naturally discover things to fill up your time and this season won’t last forever. Sending you warm wishes for a fabulous weekend <3

    Blessings,
    Edye | http://gracefulcoffee.wordpress.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 11, 2016 at 11:54 am Reply

      Thank you so much, Edye! I will get comfortable with it soon, I hope. I think I have been rushing myself and I just need to give myself the time to adjust. You are so right, though, any change in routine can send you completely out of sorts!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Anna Shirley

    September 13, 2016 at 2:13 am Reply

    My son started school at January. But I don’t have the same feelings as you have. In fact, I was looking forward to have some time just for me and I’m enjoying every minute of it. I’m sure after a few days it starts to be routine and everything will be fine again.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 13, 2016 at 11:30 am Reply

      I am so glad you have made the transition easily, Anna! Now in the second week, it is definitely getting better for me! I think maybe I was just tired because I wasn’t accustomed to getting out of the house so early! Thanks so much for stopping by and have a fabulous day.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Mallory L Welch

    September 13, 2016 at 2:54 am Reply

    I’m having the opposite problem! I just moved and started being a stay-at-home-mom to my 2-year-old and I don’t know what to do with myself. Or with him! Plus being in a new city I don’t even know what things there are to do outside of the house. So we spend a lot of time at the park.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 13, 2016 at 11:28 am Reply

      Oh,that transition to stay at home mom is a rough one, too, Mallory! Have you tried to find a local Moms’ Club? I joined one when we moved and it seriously saved my life! I belong to my local chapter of MOMS Club International. You should check their website and see if there is a chapter near you!

      Thanks so much for stopping by and have a wonderful day!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 13, 2016 at 11:29 am Reply

      Oh, that transition to stay at home mom is a rough one, too, Mallory! Have you tried to find a local Moms’ Club? I joined one when we moved and it seriously saved my life! I belong to my local chapter of MOMS Club International. You should check their website and see if there is a chapter near you!

      Thanks so much for stopping by and have a wonderful day!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Claire

    September 17, 2016 at 9:00 pm Reply

    Love your sandals Shelbee, aww I know how you feel 🙁 I am all mixed up now my baby has left junior school for big school. First time in 19 years I’ve not had a child at nursery/juniors ..( I have 4 children) ..

    Thanks for sharing at Creative Mondays..

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