The Fab 40’s are Clad in Plaid

September 24, 2018 / 37 Comments
This is not a sponsored post.

I think the world may just have gone crazy. I think we have all lost our minds. And I truly believe that we have passed it straight on down to our youth. Crazy as the mad hatter, I say. Insaner than a mixed up outfit combining plaid, camo, flowers, and a graphic tee. But it is a Wonder Woman graphic tee, damn it. Because it needs to be in this place that has morphed into a deranged lunacy of self-loathing.

Okay. Okay. You are probably wondering what on earth I am talking about. And you are possibly quite curious what any of it has to do with The Fab 40’s and this month’s theme of plaid. Well, let me tell you, there is no real connection between any of it…except the mere timing of it all.

Just the other day, dear Sheela asked me, well, she may have been pleading with fingers crossed (like my necklace), if I would become a permanent member of The Fab 40’s group…just after I joined them last month for the All Laced Up theme. Of course, this was an honor that I did not hesitate to accept. Silly Sheela, of course I want to be a permanent member of The Fab 40’s group! And so here I am. Joining these five amazing ladies with our unique and intriguing interpretations of this month’s theme chosen by the gorgeous and exponentially stylish Mary.

For those of you who may not be familiar…The Fab 40’s is a group of five fashion bloggers from around the globe. Each month we choose a different theme and invite a guest blogger who is also in their forties 40’s to join us. This group’s goal is to take on style trends and show how we each interpret and incorporate them into our own lives. With six widely varied views, you are certain to find something that speaks to you each month and encourages you to continue to have fun with fashion after the age of 40.

But I digress. I was talking about how the world seems to have gone mad. Not mad for plaid, like all of these fabulous 40 plus women. Just plain old mad. You see, I worked this entire weekend in Charlotte Russe. It is homecoming season. We have been flooded with mother-daughter shopping teams searching for the perfect teeny tiny shiny little homecoming dresses for that special night. In the past 3 days, I have helped countless teenagers pick a dress, accessorize to both their own taste and their mother’s and sometimes grandmother’s, too. I have watched mothers (and sometimes grandmothers) lose their patience. I have wished that I had wine to offer them in the fitting room as some of them sat there for hours watching their daughters try on every single dress that we carry. Some of the girls care too much about all the details. Others care not much at all and just seemed to be going through the motions. But none of this is the crazy part. That is all just par for the course.

The crazy part is this…every single girl that I have helped this weekend lacked self confidence. No matter their shape, their size, their height, their skin color, or the state of their teenage complexions, they all came out of the fitting rooms in these pretty little dresses with shoulders slumped over, pulling and tugging at every inch of fabric on their young figures. Not a single one of them walked out with confidence in who they are. Not. A. Single. One.

And can I tell you…they broke my very heart. Each and every one of them. When finally I could take no more, I pretty much bailed out on my assigned duties and went into teenage-preservation mode. In my head, I recited, “God-damn it, little girls, I’m going to empower you beyond your wildest dreams. You will walk out of this store and into your homecoming dance believing with all of your being that you are the most beautiful girl in the room.” What came out of my mouth was an onslaught of every confidence building phrase I have ever heard, read, or spoke over the course of my entire life.

I am in no way trying to brag about my efforts, but I did bring a few of them, the girls, mothers, and grandmothers, to tears. The good, happy, empowered, oh-my-god-I-believe-what-you’re-telling me tears. I can’t even count how many moms thanked me over and over again as they left the store with a newly confident teenager. The girl who just needed to shop in a plus size store but refused to go to “the fat girl store” took my words to heart…that her curves, every single one of them, are just as beautiful as she is and if she just dressed her curves in the silhouettes and sizes that accentuated them in the right places she would look and feel like a million bucks. A mother’s year long battle ended in one conversation with the random sales lady in the fitting room at a mall store as they left, dressless, to see what was available in the plus store across the mall. I can’t lie, that one brought me to tears, too, as I stood beside this young girl in front of the mirror and literally had to lift her chin with my hand and force her to look at herself and see the beauty that the rest of us saw.

Another beautiful young girl was so insecure about a scar on her back that she desperately searched to find a dress that covered it. She found a dress that she loved in the front but the entire back was open. As her grandmother stood there telling her that she rocked that scar like no other, she still stood with shoulders slumped forward, afraid to stand up tall because of this imperfection that she perceived about herself. “Honey, we’ve all got scars. Just because they aren’t visible, doesn’t mean they aren’t there. And your scar is yours, it makes you uniquely you, it is part of you and part of your story and you need to own it and be proud of it because you are freaking beautiful.” Her grandmother cried. She bought the dress with the open back.

I can’t share all of what I saw this weekend. But when I tell you, it was literally every single girl. And my heart was crushed time and again.  And I every time, I couldn’t help myself, but I uplifted the best way that I could.  But the whole experience left me wondering where the hell have we gone wrong? Where do these messages of imperfection and self-loathing come from? It isn’t the mothers and grandmothers. They were just as confused as I was. They were clearly trying their damnedest to uplift and empower their girls, too. But to no avail. The only conclusion I could fathom was society is to blame. Society is a powerful force, and a seemingly very evil force at that. The damage runs deep, my friends, really, really deep. The self-confidence seems to have been completely snuffed out. And now we need to build it back up…from nothing.

Teenagers today have so much going for them. So many advancements in education and technology. So much good they can do with the resources they have. But they will have battles to fight along the way to thrive in this world. To make this world a better place. A healthier place. A kinder, more vibrant, and loving place. There will be really hard battles to fight along the way. They shouldn’t have to use so much of the fight that rages in their young souls learning how to love themselves.  That should already be their starting point.

So I pose this question to you…how can we change this? What more can we do? Because right now, I am lost in this sea of madness that our young people are drowning in.  I will keep holding these mini-counseling sessions in the fitting room at the mall, but there has to be more that can be done!

And with that, I leave you with these five beautiful, amazing, uplifting, empowering women clad in plaid.

Mary of Curlybyrdie Chirps. I know this theme was about the plaid, but I am yearning for her boots. I need these boots as desperately as these teenagers need a confidence boost.

Mary of Curlybyrdie Chirps

Dress – New York and Company 
Booties – Target 
Beret – Forever 21 
Bag – Target 
Earring – JCPenney 

Suzy of Suzy Turner Pixie Girl in Portugal. Um, hello, sassy.  Enough said.

Suzy of Suzy Turner Pixie Girl in Portugal

Top – H&M kids (!)
Jeans – Levis
Bag – Massimo Dutti
Shoes – Rockport

Jennie of A Pocketful of Polka Dots. Jennie is a pattern mixing extraordinaire.  How can you not smile at her outfit and those fun sunnies?!

Jennie of A Pocketful of Polka Dots

Jacket – c/o Whistle River Trading
Barcelona Cami – Express
Plaid Pants – SoHo Apparel Ltd.
Plaid Sneakers – Mossimmo Supply Co.
Sunnies – Amazon Fashion

Sheela of Sheela Writes. Man, I am having serious outfit envy here. Just fantastic.

Sheela of Sheela Writes

Brown Plaid Coat Dress – purchased from Kuching
B&W Plaid Pants, Sunnies & Striped Blouse – c/o New York & Co
Heels – Cici Hot

CaNesha of Crowned CaNesha, who is Mary’s invited guest this month. She is killing it in these dramatic pants with graphic tee. I am in outfit heaven!  And feeling blessed as well to have her join us this month!

CaNesha of Crowned CaNesha

Slacks and T-Shirt – NY & Company

And finally my outfit. All mixed up like the crazy world we live in…a plaid scarf, plaid shirt, Wonder Woman tee shirt, camo jacket, and floral sneakers.

Tee shirt and jeans – Torrid
Flannel shirt – Walmart
Jacket – Kohl’s
Shoes and scarf – Target
Jewelry – Etsy

 

Trying to make a difference on the edge,

Shelbee

Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups.

I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.

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37 Comments

  • Kellyann Rohr

    September 24, 2018 at 10:33 am Reply

    Congratulations on joining the Fab 40’s – you are an excellent addition to a great group of stylish women! I am so glad you were there to help each of those young girls find their confidence and beauty – what a gift!
    xo,
    Kellyann

  • Suzy Turner

    September 24, 2018 at 11:17 am Reply

    Shelbee, you are such an inspiration! You actually had me welling up with tears at the stories you encountered at the mall. I wish these young girls could see them the way we see them. It’s so sad that they are so affected by the current world we live in – all this so-called perfection on Instagram and magazines, etc. I think it must be a very difficult time to be a teenager. It’s worlds away from when we were kids. My heart goes out to all of them.
    On another note, I absolutely ADORE your look for this month’s theme! You truly are a wonder woman, Shelbee. And I’m DELIGHTED that you have joined the Fab 40s tribe!!YAY!!
    Huge hugs, my friend,
    Suzy xxx

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 24, 2018 at 12:39 pm Reply

      Suzy, thank you so much for your kind words and for welcoming me to the tribe! I am so glad to be a part of it. And seriously, my eyes welled up so many times this weekend at work trying to convince these girls how beautiful they are. It really is a sad state of affairs and I need to do my part to fix it! So I will just keep encouraging them and empowering them every chance I get!

      As for the outfit, when Sheela said plaid, I got a bit overwhelmed because I have SO much of it. And I always go for something a little dressier for collaboration posts like this. But I went a little outside the box and went super casual instead. I was really wanting to go with camo and plaid for some reason…and this seemed to work. I am so glad that you like it. I think it is one of my fave casual looks, too!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Amy Kennedy

    September 24, 2018 at 12:45 pm Reply

    Shelbee you look fantastic! It’s cute, and fun and full of joy! I just got a red plaid blouse and you gave me some fun ideas on how to style it! Love that you pour into so many with that beautiful heart!

  • Maria | passion fruit, paws and peonies

    September 24, 2018 at 1:02 pm Reply

    Great post Shelbee!! Firstly – you look absolutely fabulous – girl whatever you are doing keep doing it!! Secondly, that is so amazing how you touched so many young women with your empowering words. I think the pressures are immense right now and I can’t see an end to it. So I think society needs to catch up with counteracting the perfect social media images etc. You are a diamond xxx

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 24, 2018 at 4:36 pm Reply

      Maria, you are too kind. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I am just trying to go out into the world every day and spread light wherever and whenever I can. It feels like the thing I am supposed to be doing, so I just do it! And I agree completely, society needs to catch up and get on board with empowerment rather devaluing.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • susan

    September 24, 2018 at 2:32 pm Reply

    Maybe it’s a phase these teenagers must go through, in order to get to the confident side. I remember how little self confidence I had as a teenager, and I look at pictures now, and I was beautiful! My friend Joanie said the same thing, and she was so gorgeous, she reduced boys to speechlessness! Literal speechlessness. It wasn’t till my late 20’s that I realized I was not a toad, but a beautiful, empowered princess. And that only came after I realized how good at my job I was. Then I began realizing that beauty comes from within, and radiates. And I started to appreciate my looks.

    I see the slumped shoulders daily, and try my best to instill confidence in these kids. Not just the girls either. God Bless you Shelbee!

    That being said, I love your outfit! I have loved plaid/tartan ever since I went to Scotland, and now that the weather is finally getting a bit cooler, am getting out my tartan for fall/winter. If only I could find that blazer, dammit!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 24, 2018 at 4:28 pm Reply

      Susan, I hear you…and relate…to every word. You know, it took me until my 40’s to be able to look in the mirror and actually like what I see. That is very sad to me. I don’t want these girls to spend the the next 20 years of their lives learning how to love themselves. They need to learn it now and move on to greater things! I love that you are offering the same encouragement and empowerment to all of the students that you deal with daily! Your light shines very bright, my friend, and I am so glad that you love to share it!

      Now go find that blazer and let me some plaid stylings! It is the theme for October’s Good Buy/Good-Bye Book!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • chez-Rama

    September 24, 2018 at 6:39 pm Reply

    First and Most. I love the wonder women in you! can we take a moment and admire your tee <3. Congratulation to joining the fab 40's group. It deserves a celebration. Cheers !.
    I love how you combined the tee with your plaid top. You give it that unique twist and the color combination goes beautifully with your skin. Gosh! your hair is super cute too.
    Fabulous🤗

  • Mireille

    September 24, 2018 at 8:59 pm Reply

    Kudos to you! I think that it coming from a stranger, these girls were more likely to believe you. Thank you for taking that time and opportunity!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 24, 2018 at 10:47 pm Reply

      Mireille, thanks so much! I agree with you totally. The girls were definitely more inclined to take the words of a stranger to heart than they were to listen to their own mothers. I suppose we expect our mothers to say those things so it can lose its power. But from a stranger, the words carry more weight for some reason. We should all offer words of empowerment to strangers more often than we do.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Alicia

    September 24, 2018 at 9:09 pm Reply

    I love that outfit, I think I used to wear something similar when I was in high school, totally not as confidently as your are! I was always feeling not up to scratch compared to other girls. Now that’s a throwback! I wish I knew what I know now, isn’t that the Catch 22 of life. I am loving my forties 🙂

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 24, 2018 at 10:37 pm Reply

      Thanks so much, Alicia! I totally was feeling all high school flashback-y in this outfit. But like you (and everyone else it seems) I didn’t have even a fraction of the confidence I have now. This is why we call it the Fab 40’s!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Jennie

    September 27, 2018 at 1:23 am Reply

    Each and every one of these elements are so stinkin’ perfect together!!! Seriously love this fun mix.

    So glad you took the time to offer encouragement to these young girls. Looking back I can remember feeling the same at that age, which is sad. I am grateful those days are behind me.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      September 27, 2018 at 10:10 am Reply

      Jennie, thanks so much! I think this might be one of my favorite casual outfits ever! And I remember those awkward insecure teenage years, too. I guess that is why I feel so compelled to deliver them a message of self-empowerment and self confidence.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Liberty Henwick

    October 3, 2018 at 8:48 am Reply

    Wow, it must have felt so great boosting those girls and helping them see how beautiful they are, what a great thing to do! What strikes me is how they believed it from a total stranger but not their own mom or grandmother, my teenager is exactly the same!!! If we tell her she’s gorgeous she just scoffs at us. I’m not sure what the solution is but I hate how the media and advertising has such a focus on an ideal body, for that reason I never buy fashion mags. I love your look, I’m a total fangirl of wonderwoman. I used to have a plaid shirt but now my daughter has a couple so perhaps I shoud be raiding her wardrobe? I also love how the ladies have all dressed to complement their figures and they all have so much confidence – i could do with a boost myself. How can I apply to be one of your fab 40’s guest bloggers, maybe that will help?? #blogcrush

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 3, 2018 at 10:07 am Reply

      Liberty, thanks so much! It amazes me, too, how teenagers will take the word of a stranger over the word of their mother in a heart beat! I wonder why they do that? Even looking back to when I was a teen, I did the same thing, but I still am not sure why we resist our mothers so much. And all you need to boost your confidence is to fake it ’til you make it! That’s what I do. That’s what many of us do. We wear the things we love (even if it means raiding your teen’s closet) and we smile and just rock it like we mean it regardless of any eye rolls that may be cast in our direction. And if you are in your 40’s, I will definitely add you to my list of bloggers to invite when it is my turn to choose a guest!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

      • Liberty Henwick

        October 3, 2018 at 10:21 am Reply

        I was watching ‘Call the Midwife’ last night and they spoke about a mother’s love and saying it always flows one way, and is not reciprocated in the same strength. Now that I’m a mom I understand that and feel it, but it also makes me sad thinking how I haven’t always shown my own mother the love in the same way and that my three doughters probably won’t either. I guess there are few loves that equal a mother’s love and yet children just can’t always embrace or recognise it. Oh great, thanks for including me, I loose count but I think I’m turning about 47 this year (eek!!) 😀

        • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

          October 3, 2018 at 10:37 am Reply

          Liberty, thank you for sharing this perspective on a mother’s love! I think it is so true. I think we can’t even begin to understand and appreciate our mother’s love until we become mothers ourselves. I will definitely keep you posted on the Fab 40’s!

          xoxo
          Shelbee

  • Claire

    July 9, 2021 at 6:50 pm Reply

    I can’t believe I missed this post, Shelbee. So happy you’ve shared it today. I love your Wonder Woman, t-shirt. Love your red tartan shirt and those beautiful trainers. Great look 🙂

    Thanks so much for linking up to The Weekend Link Up

    #TheWeekendLinkUp

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 10, 2021 at 9:46 am Reply

      Aw, thanks so much, Claire! This is an old one, for sure, but I wanted to link up my WW tee on your WW post! I have worn this tee at least 5 times on the blog, but I have a few more really cute ones, too.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

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Shelbee on the Edge