Shelbee Says… “Trust the process.”: 8 Steps for Managing Bipolar Mood Swings

On Friday, I wrote about the battlefield that is Bipolar Disorder and I discussed how I have developed a great capacity for managing the mood swings when they start. Often when I share my story, I am met with the question of how I manage my Bipolar Disorder so effectively without medication. Every time I am asked this question, I am left without an adequate answer. All I can ever come up with is, “I don’t know. I just do it.” However, I am fully aware that this answer helps absolutely no one. So I decided it was time to sit down and really think about how I navigate my way through Bipolar mood swings efficiently and effectively and try to provide a clear and concise answer to the question. Please keep in mind that I am not a licensed counselor, just a person with a long history dealing with Bipolar Disorder. If you are in need of resources, please visit BetterHelp.com.

First, I want to be clear…I am not a licensed mental health professional. I am just a woman who was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder nearly 20 years ago and have done years of painful, introspective, soul-searching work to find the coping formula that works best for me. Every person is unique and different in the way their illnesses present themselves. Symptoms of mental illness manifest in a vastly diverse way depending on a combination of personality traits, severity of the illness, and personal history and experience. As a result, what works for me will not work for everybody. But the route to finding the perfect combination of coping skills is absolutely based in trial and error. You sort of have to try everything to discover what works for you and what doesn’t work.

In an effort to clearly articulate the steps I take to handle severe mood swings, I have to be highly in tune with and connected to my thought processes and how I will respond to them both intellectually and emotionally. And I am sure you all well aware that our intellect and our emotions can become quite difficult to untangle and lay out into definitive statements that are easy for others to understand.  In any event, I am going to give it my best shot in breaking it down into 8 easy to follow steps.

1. Recognize your triggers.

Knowing both the external and internal stimuli that will trigger an episode is of maximum importance. This knowledge  allows you to maintain a firm grasp on the reality that what you are feeling and experiencing is a result of your disorder responding to the stimulus.  Many people that I have known who have battled Bipolar Disorder for an extensive period of time usually can identify a very precise set of circumstances that generally lead to a mood episode.  Currently, the two major triggers for me include hormonal shifts throughout the course of my monthly menstrual cycle and failure to get an adequate amount of sleep.  Many years ago, I had many other triggers as well.  Coupled with severe anxiety (I plan to address the topic of anxiety in a future post), typical life stressors could send me into massively destructive mood swings.  By typical life stressors, I am referring to events in life that we all experience but people without Bipolar Disorder just take them in stride with a “normal” level of stress.  Things like money issues, stress at work or home, personal rejection from outside sources (for example a relationship not working out or a job interview that ended unfavorably).  I have learned that as you evolve and grow and learn more about yourself and your disorder, the triggers will change and shift as well.  They also become less and less frequent as you become more and more aware.

2. Avoid your triggers, if you can.

Clearly not all events that will trigger a mood episode can be avoided.  And sometimes, a brand new trigger that you didn’t even know would set a mood swing into motion comes along and catches you completely off guard.  Because you cannot possibly avoid all of the things in life that can trigger a mood swing, it is a good idea to exercise diligence in avoiding the ones that you can.  Obviously, I have no way of avoiding the hormonal roller coaster I am on right now so I have to be extra conscientious about maintaining a proper sleep schedule.

3.  Accept the mood swing for what it is.

When a mood swing is set into action, acknowledge it. Denial and avoidance do nothing except feed the cycle until it becomes too much for even the most aware and adept person to manage. It is that old concept of that which you avoid the most, you become.  So if you start to feel mania or depression taking over your thoughts, acknowledge, accept, and process it. It is important to allow yourself to sit inside the emotions no matter how uncomfortable or painful they may be.  In order to properly move forward out of the irrationality of the brain’s disorder, you absolutely have to complete a process of acknowledgement and acceptance, recognizing the unpleasant emotions as pure manifestations of the disorder and nothing more.

4. Impose a time limit.

While forcing yourself to acknowledge and feel the disagreeable feelings is an important step in processing the mood episode, it is crucial to impose a time limit on the negative self-talk that almost always accompanies a violent mood swing.  The disordered brain will fall easily into negative self-talk mode.  Again, if you resist it, it will persist and grow in strength and power.  If you accept it and engage it, it will pass quicker.  When the destructive self talk begins in my head, I set a time limit on it.  I allow myself to engage in the game of self-hatred.  Because it is easier for a brief period of time to allow yourself to fall into the trap.  But as you allow yourself to go into that darkness, just keep a proper handle on reality…a lifeline must be in place.  And that lifeline will be your self imposed time limit.  I generally tell myself something like this…“I will allow myself to feel this depression, I will hide under my blankets and cry, I will not get dressed or leave my house while I wallow in self pity, but I will do it for one day only.  Then I will force myself back into the reality of my life and move forward.”  Occasionally, I may need to grant myself permission to extend this time limit to two or three days.  But then you really do have to implement the time limit and regain control. And yes, even in the middle of feeling completely out of control, you still have control. You might need to dig deep to find it, but it’s there.

5. Hold on to the realization that it will pass.

Maintaining the knowledge that the mood episode will pass as mood episodes always do is helpful in adhering to the self imposed time limit.  I engage in a lot of self talk during this process, repeating to myself over and over again that no matter how uncomfortable or painful the feelings are in the midst of the mood episode, they do not last forever.  I just need to put into action all of the coping mechanisms that I have developed over the years and remain steadfast in the process.  It always plays out the same way and I always come out on the other side with an even clearer understanding of my Bipolar Disorder.

6. Find healthy distractions.

If the feelings are getting too much to bear, healthy distractions will save your sanity. Deep depressions where negative self talk is threatening to destroy you as well as dangerous manias that will lead into destructive behaviors are best avoided by distracting your mind with healthy activities.  Sometimes for me it is something as simple as completely zoning out on mindless video games.  While some may not view this as necessarily healthy, it is certainly not destructive and much safer than many other activities.  And when the mind is reeling seemingly out of control, mindless activities are best.  I have found that activities that require your attention but not intense or deep thought work miracles…video games, watching movies, coloring, knitting, organizing, and exercising are some activities to try.

7. Trust the process.

When you reach a place where you have laid out definitive steps to manage your disorder and they work for you time and again, trust that process. You are still here, you are still alive, you are still managing your mood swings.  The process has brought you this far and it will continue to lead you down the road to recovery.  So trust it.  Trust it with your entire soul.  And because you trust it, you will follow it and you will get to the other side of it.

8. Get comfortable with paradox and uncertainty.

This world is filled with paradox and uncertainty.  And a Bipolar brain adds an extra level of inconsistency to how we deal with and process the mysteries of life.  There are not always clear defined to answers to why, when, where, and how.  Resisting that fact will surely make the journey more difficult. But being able to accept that there are not always answers and that there will always be paradox and uncertainty in this life allows you to let go of a lot of unnecessary burdens. Getting comfortable with discomfort makes the journey much more productive.

I hope these steps have given some insight into the intensely complicated process of riding through a Bipolar mood swing.  But even in its complicated process, it becomes easier and easier with each episode…I suppose that is a paradox in and of itself. Until you reach a point where you have a firm grasp on your own personal process, be sure to maintain a strong network of supportive friends and family.  And if ever you find yourself in crisis and unable to manage the episode on your own, please seek emergency assistance immediately.  I promise when you get to the other side (and you will if you believe you will), you will be glad you sought the help in those times of need.

Have you discovered coping mechanisms that work really well for you? Please share them in the comments as they could possibly benefit someone else who may be struggling.

*Author’s Note: After publishing this post today, I received an email from a wonderful friend whom I met virtually through this blogging journey.  Her name is Jude and she always shares with me some of the most brilliantly insightful works of writing that she finds on the internet.  The one she sent me today, I consider an absolute must-read on the topic of Bipolar Disorder.  You can find it here…I Don’t Thank My Bipolar for Anything by Rachel Kallem Whitman. 

Keeping it on the edge,

Shelbee

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