Old Friends are the Best Friends

Do you have that one friend (or a few) whom you have been friends with forever? That friend whom you may not see or talk to for years and pick right up where you left off as if it had been only a few days? That friend whom you know you can always call in a crisis, but never really need to? That friend whom has seen you at your best and your worst but really only sees just you? That friend whom genuinely and sincerely only wishes the best for you without hidden resentment or jealously? That friend whom has always been your friend and always will? Yeah, that friend.

I am blessed to say that I have a few friends like that. Very blessed. While this post is about all of those friends, it is really about just one. That one in the picture above (she’s on the left, I’m on the right). (By the way, she will probably kill me for sharing that picture, but it is one of my favorites of us! Although she is covered in chicken pox, she is still so darned adorable! Sorry, B.) This picture is of us in 7th grade when we were inducted into the National Junior Honor Society (yes, nerds, but nerdy is cool these days, so whatever.)

So that’s my friend, B. We met when we were 8 years old and she moved across the street from me when her parents divorced. I was very bashful as was she and yet we made our shy introductions and became fast friends. That was 33 years ago! I don’t know when we got so old to be able to say that we have been friends for 33 years, but it happened. And here we are at mid-life, still really close friends. I don’t think either of us is very bashful anymore having grown gracefully and confidently into adulthood. But we each went through many emotional and traumatic experiences in our own lives and we both survived. Abusive relationships, divorce, the loss of her mother and both of my parents to cancer. And although years, miles, boyfriends and spouses, and mental illness sometimes came between us, whenever we get together, it is like we are still the innocent playful girls of our youth and we can’t talk fast enough to cover all the topics we need and want to discuss. And when we are talking, there is a lot of laughter. Like A LOT! But those stories are ours. And probably no one else would really see the humor in them anyway!

Well, about a week and half ago, I posted an outfit of the day photo on Pinterest and Instagram. A few minutes later, I received a text from B. “You are just way too freaking cute in all of your pics you are posting!!” For some reason, this compliment meant more coming from her than it would coming from a stranger. Probably because I respect her and her opinion matters to me more than the opinions of strangers. But also, it meant more because I could respond like this, “Ah-hahaha! Thanks! I feel so vain and narcissistic! But I really am having fun doing this blog thing!” You may be wondering why I feel this is important enough for a blog post…

It is important because I was able to receive the compliment and respond with my insecurities being as transparent as they could be! Because honesty is one of the most important things in the world to me. Because letting your guard down and revealing your insecurities to a friend, a spouse, a stranger, to the world, is really scary! But revealing your insecurities is also important in order to find the support you need. Wearing your invincibility cape all the time can be downright exhausting. Sometimes superheroes need a rest, too!

And B. replied with this, “You are perfect for it.” WOW! Talk about validation. Validation that I desperately needed. Someone important to me letting me know that what I am doing isn’t just shallow and silly. I don’t think she realized at the time the power in those 5 words. Perhaps, she will read this post and know how very important those words were to me. Validation when I needed it most. Thank you so much, B., from the bottom of my heart.

I replied with, “You know I have been searching for 40 years to find what I am perfect for! Maybe I have finally found it. Thanks for the encouragement! I guess we will all battle our insecurities to the end of time!”

So I guess the message I am trying to send is that we all have insecurities. We all need to accept that fact about one another and be gentle and kind. But we all also need to face our insecurities. It is really the only way to get past them…by not letting them get in your way. And we all need encouragement and validation sometimes. While it is amazing when we receive that validation without asking for it, oftentimes we may need to ask for it. And that’s okay, too. And if you have friends like I have, they will be more than happy to oblige! If you don’t have friends like that, maybe it’s time to find new friends.

I just wanted to share this little story with you all and let B. know I am so fortunate for friends like her and I thank God every day for the wonderful people in my life. Life is hard, but great friends can make the journey a little easier.

Ahh…but I posted an outfit picture! So here are the clothes that prompted my unsolicited, but much appreciated validation.

I really liked the combination of burgundy, navy, tan, and amber as Fall is finally here! What are some of your favorite color combinations? Do you combine more than 2 or 3 colors in one outfit?

Also, please tell me…do you have amazing and supportive friends? Share your story in the comments if you’d like! Until next time.

I’m keeping it on the edge,

Shelbee