Love and Radical Kindness Win & #SpreadTheKindness Link Up #111

February 26, 2019 / 60 Comments
This is not a sponsored post.

I have heard this Carrie Underwood song at least 100 times, but I never actually listened to the words until the other day. I was flipping through television channels and landed on CMT’s Hot 20 Countdown and they aired the Love Wins video as the number 2 video on the countdown. The visuals caught my attention, drew me in, and I found myself really listening…and tearing up as I watched. Maybe it’s PMS getting me all emotional. Maybe it’s just life and all the crazy that exists in this world. Maybe it’s simply because truer lyrics have never been written, yet so many continue to disregard the message. Maybe it’s because love is the only thing that will save us. True human love and kindness for one another.

“Love is power, love is a smile / Love reaches out, love is the remedy / Love is the answer, love’s an open door / Love is the only thing worth fighting for / Love will, love can, love still, love wins”

Star Print Dress: Torrid (No longer available)
Black Shirt Dress: c/o ZanStyle (Old)

Then I was watching the 2019 Film Independent Spirit Awards. In his acceptance speech as the winner of the best documentary category for his film Won’t You Be My Neighbor? which chronicles the life of Fred Rogers, director-producer Morgan Neville profoundly thanked the subject of his documentary by saying, “The last thing is Fred Rogers. Fred knew that kindness was something more than something that sounds good on a bumper sticker. Radical kindness is something like oxygen, and we need to have it to survive.” (I have not yet watched this film, but I need to.)

Two words really caught my attention and I felt my eyes welling up again…radical kindness. You all know by now that I have made a commitment to spread kindness into this often cruel world, yet I feel as if I have not been doing quite enough. Because let’s face it, we all have a selfish side, egos that need to be fed. We have wants, needs, desires that are sometimes so selfish that they reek of unkindness. We have been raised in a society that places independence and cut throat competition at the top of the power hierarchy. We have been taught the amount of our paychecks determines our value. But kindness, radical kindness, and love, absolute unconditional love, stand higher on that pyramid than any dollar amount. And no matter what kind of work I do in this life, I am committed to making sure that it is driven by love and kindness more than anything else.

Boots: Mariam Heeled Over the Knee Boots from JustFab

One person’s success does not ever diminish another person’s success. It also does not remove the opportunities for success. And no matter where you place yourself on a chart of success rankings, there is never an excuse to be unkind and hateful. My blogger friends know that the blogging industry is completely saturated and many feel like we get lost in the shuffle. There are an estimated 440 million blogs on the internet as of 2018. We may think that people aren’t reading. That our words and messages aren’t important or that what we say and write has no impact at all. Perhaps the number of comments on our blogs and social media is low. Your page view statistics are not where you want them to be. But we don’t really know the actual reach of our words and the effect that they can have on someone somewhere on the other side of the planet.

Necklace: c/o Happiness Boutique. Similar here.

There are approximately 7.7 billion people in the world. (By the way, this world population clock is maybe the creepiest thing I have ever seen. I have no idea how it is tracking that, but it completely freaked me out.) Without diving too far into statistics, the global literacy rate as of 2016 for people age 15 years and older is 86.3%. That is a lot of people who can read and do read. And in this internet age, many are reading what they find online. Now you may be wondering how this all connects to where I began this blog post…love and radical kindness win. And how does it all tie into how successful we consider ourselves? The minor statistics in the next paragraph will explain the connection and illustrate how and why it is so important to me to generate messages of love and kindness, to share my struggles and my successes in the hopes that they can help someone, anyone, anywhere in this great big world.

I do not have a large social platform by any means. According to Fohr Card, I have a total follower base of just over 8,000 people. In a world of 7.7 billion people, that is not a big number. In fact, it is a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the world’s population of literate people. But here’s the thing that I am wondering…who are these 8,000 plus people that I am reaching? According to my WordPress statistics, during the life of my blog (almost 4 years), people from 162 different countries have visited Shelbee on the Edge. There are 195 countries in the world. That means that something I have written or posted has reached people in 83% of the civilized world. I don’t know who they are or how much they have read, but I do know this…words have power. More than we even know. And words put out on the internet have the ability to reach around the globe. And there may be someone out there who needs your words, your story, your encouragement, your support, your inspiration, your company…even if it is just a virtual friend who occasionally pops up their computer screen and makes them feel worthy.

I think we all get caught up in the numbers game, no matter what profession we are in. And I think we all sometimes lose sight of the importance of the human connection. We get caught up in the mundane of life, we get stuck in the boredom trap, we get frustrated with our kids, our spouses, ourselves. We get annoyed with society and politics. And we just forget that people need people. And people need kindness. Radical kindness. Like Morgan Neville said, “Radical kindness is something like oxygen, and we need to have it to survive.” And everyone needs love. As Carrie Underwood so simply states, “Love is power.”

Recently, I have been repeatedly reminding my seven year old that he is getting old enough that the excuse “I forgot” when he is slacking on his basic responsibilities…like placing his garbage in the trash can or brushing his teeth…is no longer an acceptable excuse. Well, it’s not an acceptable excuse for us either. It’s high time we stop forgetting the importance of the basic human connection and start spreading kindness and love…passionately, boundlessly, selflessly, and radically.

What have you done lately that is a radical expression of love and kindness? I don’t even want you to answer that question in the comments, I merely want you to consider it and ponder it. We all have room for improvement.

And now your featured favorites from last week.

Nancy of Nancy’s Fashion Style shared her super stylish look in her post, Striped Dress and Belted Blazer. Honestly, Nancy styles dresses better than any woman I have ever known. She inspires me to up my dress game!

Nancy of Nancy’s Fashion Style

Kathrine of Kathrine Eldridge, Wardrobe Stylist always delivers the chicest looks as well. Her post, Brocade Bomber Jacket, is inspiring me to bring some of my statement bomber jackets back into rotation.

Kathrine of Kathrine Eldridge, Wardrobe Stylist
Inlinkz Link Party

Keeping it on the edge,

Shelbee

Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups.

I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.

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60 Comments

  • Cathy

    February 26, 2019 at 9:21 am Reply

    Shelbee-as I was reading your post, I thought about myself – I’m not terribly unkind (I certainly can be), it’s just that I don’t stop and take the time to be kind. Because so many times acts of kindness take time. I want to slow down and take the time to be kind.

    Love your skirt and what a creative backdrop for a photoshoot.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 26, 2019 at 11:11 am Reply

      Cathy, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on the topic of kindness. Kindness can take time, for sure, but we have time…even when we think we don’t have time. We all get caught in that not-enough-time trap, don’t we? Maybe I need to write a post about the issue of time!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Kellyann Rohr

    February 26, 2019 at 11:51 am Reply

    Those sleeves Shelbee are fabulous just like you! Listen, I love spreading kindness too but there are times I find it difficult and grant myself a little grace.
    Also, thanks for mentioning Fohr – I am checking them out now!
    xo,
    Kellyann

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 26, 2019 at 11:56 am Reply

      Thanks so much, Kellyann! There are definitely times when I struggle to keep my kindness in tact! We all have bad days, and we should grant ourselves a little grace. But then we need to remember again…that being kind often takes less energy than avoiding an opportunity for kindness. Don’t you think?

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • jodie filogomo

    February 26, 2019 at 1:41 pm Reply

    You always have the best messages Shelbee. Radical kindness….I love it. I’m sure I’ve heard this song a ton too, but now it really hits home.
    It’s not the quantity of anything, but the quality. Especially with love.
    Thanks for being such a great inspiration!!
    XOXO
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 26, 2019 at 1:42 pm Reply

      Jodie, thank you so much! You know, I sat down yesterday to write this post and I kept coming up with nothing…I sat for a really long time staring at a blank screen. But once I start writing, it usually begins to flow from there. I am glad that you enjoyed the message!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Lisa Richardson

    February 26, 2019 at 2:39 pm Reply

    Shelby, this is such a pretty look and very chic. Carrie Underwood puts out some great songs with beautiful lyrics and meanings behind them. Kindness is simple and yet a challenge in the world. Sometimes I’m really scared at what it’s becoming. Thankfully I have a community of people who give me hope. Have a great day! XO

  • Kimberly Malkiewicz

    February 26, 2019 at 3:37 pm Reply

    I guess I’m being nosy, but I’m wondering where you took your photos. You must have had fun pulling on all of your layers of black. Words to think on Shelbee. Kindness (not even the radical kind) is such a win-win proposition. It makes you feel good as well as the recipient.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 26, 2019 at 10:43 pm Reply

      Thanks so much, Kim! Okay, so I have been wanting to get inside this building for so long to take photos and I finally did! It is a historic building in my town that was once the shopping mall in town. It closed in 1993 and fell into disrepair but has recently been purchased by new owners and is in the process of renovations. It is called the Empsall’s Building and you can read more about it here if you are interested. I love the history behind old abandoned buildings!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom

    February 26, 2019 at 3:43 pm Reply

    Carrie Underwood is such a talented singer and I don’t always lesson to the words to songs, I’ll just listen to the melody, etc. but every so often a song will REALLY move me like this one has for you. I just love those boots and that skirt, so pretty together!

    Carrie
    curlycraftymom.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 26, 2019 at 10:37 pm Reply

      Thank you so much, Carrie! It’s funny that I have heard that song so many times, but never registered the lyrics. The lyrics are usually what pull me into a song…being the crazy word lover that I am. It also is interesting when a song from decades ago takes on such new meaning the older we get, too. Elton John’s Sad Songs totally got me recently how profoundly true the lyrics are. I never understood that when I was kid listening to that song!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Patrick Weseman

    February 26, 2019 at 4:12 pm Reply

    Wow, very powerful words. I try to be kind to folks. This morning I helped some people purchase their BART cards (our subway) from the machine (They really had no clue) and I try to keep my little blog the one place that I can always be nice. Something I have made a point of.

    I don’t have as big of a following as you do but I try-LOL.

    Looking very nice and thanks for this great post. Hope you have a wonderful week.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 26, 2019 at 10:35 pm Reply

      Patrick, thank you so much! I love that you helped people in the subway! I have seen way too many people look confused on the subway and it is shame when no one steps up to help. The same thing happens when dealing with things on an Army base…It is so confusing and when I was a newbie, no one would help me and they would get nasty if I didn’t understand all the ridiculous rules. Now I always make it a point to help if I notice someone who is confused. And you and me, we might be small fish in a big ocean, but at least we are still swimming, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Jessica A Jannenga

    February 26, 2019 at 4:51 pm Reply

    Shelbee, :Love the starry skirt! This all black outfit is very chic on you and love that clothe hat! That is one style I love! Mr Rodgers was actually in class with my father in law, and I heard he was a very genuine person. I need to watch that show on Netflix too.
    Wow, I didn’t know there were that many blogs out there! I love that you make the point that you don’t know who you reach or touch on the other side of the screen. Sometimes I get emails from ladies I haven’t heard from that are readers saying the nicest, most encouraging things! and that really warms my heart!
    jess xx
    http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 26, 2019 at 10:23 pm Reply

      Jess, thank you so much! I get emails and comments like that as well and I feel so validated that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing with my blog. When someone tells me that sharing my story or something I have written has helped them, inspired them, empowered them in some way, it just reaffirms what I know I am called to do. It is important to remind myself sometimes though that I have no idea the extent and power that my words carry. And so I must be mindful, too. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Maria | passion fruit, paws and peonies

    February 26, 2019 at 6:17 pm Reply

    I have received so much kindness by the blogging community lately – it has really supported me. I was considering what to do with the blog and it’s success (or lack of) – but the kindness of these women and your positive messages Shelbee reminds me what is important and I love being a part of such a great group of women xx

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 26, 2019 at 10:16 pm Reply

      Maria, cheers to that! This community is so amazing and so supportive. And it seems when I begin to doubt the purpose of my work, I get a comment or an email from someone saying how much I have helped them. And honestly, if I help just one person, then that is success as far as I am concerned. But then I build on that success and hope to help another and another. I am glad that my post today gave you a helpful reminder! Hugs to you, my friend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Laura

    February 26, 2019 at 7:27 pm Reply

    Is it weird, but sometimes I feel selfish when I do random acts of kindness because they make me feel so good inside that it almost feels like I am doing it for myself instead of the person I am helping! Sometimes just a smile or opening a door, or letting someone go in front of you in line can make a difference in their whole day!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 26, 2019 at 10:13 pm Reply

      Laura, I totally get that! Sometimes I feel like that, too. That’s the best time to do a completely anonymous act of kindness…don’t let anyone else know you did it! It still makes you feel great but removes the guilt of possibly getting positive attention directed at yourself when that was never your purpose to begin with. And yes, just simple little polite acts carry so much kindness, too!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Chez-rama

    February 27, 2019 at 1:59 am Reply

    Shelbee, if you donot anyone in this world , you touched me. Each world you said , each time you write. You make me realize how the world is small and short to fill it with unkind words. Instead spreading with kind words will flourish it and make it meaningful. You are amazing.

    You also reminded me why I started blogging in the first place. Not about being famous it is more about make a diffidence in someone’s life even if it is one person.
    http://www.chez-rama.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 27, 2019 at 11:03 am Reply

      Rama, thank you so very much for this amazing comment that completely validates what I do! I cannot express enough gratitude for that simple gesture. And it is just that simple…kind words sent out into the world make a huge difference in anyone’s day. And just as powerful as our positive words can be, our negative words can create destruction. It is so important to mind our words and realize that they do affect other people. I am glad that I could give you a reminder of your purpose with your blog as well. Keep shining your light, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Nailil

    February 27, 2019 at 2:10 am Reply

    Love the message in your post 🙂 The outfit is as fabulous as all others you share with us.

    Xx, Nailil
    thirtyminusone.com

  • Nancy

    February 27, 2019 at 7:22 am Reply

    Do we already think alike? Ha ha, guess who is my favorite this Friday! I’m not joking, but I I’m on a holiday and the posts is ready and sceduled! Thanks love, I appreciate it!

  • Emma Peach

    February 27, 2019 at 11:50 pm Reply

    Wow, that’s a lot of blogs! And I agree that the population clock is creepy – I remember finding one for a country Isobel was researching for school and I also wondered how it’s possible to track the numbers. I love your outfit, the star print skirt is beautiful. You’re absolutely right – kindness is always the answer. I’ve been getting frustrated with pretty much everything lately, but kindness – to others and ourselves is – what we all need more than anything.

    Emma xxx
    http://www.style-splash.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      February 28, 2019 at 11:17 am Reply

      Emma, thanks so much! I am glad that I am not the only one who got creeped by that population clock! And I hear you on the frequent frustrations. That’s pretty much my state of mind lately, too. I think I just need some warmer weather and time spent in the fresh air. This winter is never ending!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

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