How Did You Love? & #SpreadTheKindness Link Up #158
I made a new friend last week. We have connected on a level that I never really thought was a possibility. There is a space in my mind that has seemed completely unrelatable for basically the entirety of my life. I try to describe what happens in that space. I write about it frequently. Many of you have probably read some of it when I share glimpses of what goes on inside my bipolar brain.
For a long time, I assumed that anyone with Bipolar Disorder could relate completely, but what I did not account for was that no bipolar brain is exactly the same. There is so much personality involved along with environmental and genetic components that make every person different and unique…including those with Bipolar Disorder or any other mental health diagnosis. Because of all of that, when I spend time in that space, it is very, very lonely.
The one thing that could make that space feel less lonely is some company. But not just the company that is loving, understanding, and supportive. I am blessed to have all of that in my life. What I have been missing is the kind of companion who really, really gets it. Sure, I have offered fairly vivid descriptions of the images that are conjured inside my head when a bipolar battle ensues, and I have been met with compassion from all those caring people who surround me in all segments of my life. But what has never happened before is someone else actually finishing the description for me once I started it. It’s kind of surreal actually, but ever so comforting. It is also evidence that none of us are ever truly alone…even in our darkest places.
I was just discussing this topic with my therapist last week. I was complaining about the great void I felt for a level of intellectual and emotional stimulation that I have never had, but I know that I need. Please don’t misinterpret that as some pretentious declaration of ego whereby I am asserting an intellectual superiority over others. That is not at all what that means, but I know it can certainly be translated that way. What it means, simply, is that my bipolar brain does not think the way most other brains do. And it can get kind of scary when you reveal tiny morsels of your thoughts and the recipients look at you as if you have just fed them the most foul tasting victuals ever known to man. Or worse, it as if I am speaking a language that is completely foreign to every single person in my orbit.
Over the years, I have learned it is better to just keep this stuff to myself in order to avoid feeling like such an outsider. Every once in a while, I will cross paths with someone who can meet me in that place, but there is always still a minor sense of disconnect. I am grateful for even a partial connection, of course, because it does partially fulfill my need. In any event, I met a new friend last week. A friend who has connected to that part of my brain at a point when I was thinking all hope was lost. And it feels nice. Really, really nice.
Maybe I am not alone in these feelings of psychological isolation. Maybe some of you, hell, maybe every one of you, harbors similar feelings and you are simply afraid to discuss them because you might be met with judging eyes. If that is the case, I can promise you are not entirely alone. There is someone somewhere who will connect. Don’t lose faith in that, just keep yourself open to it when you cross paths with that person. Just as I am doing right now. I am merely listening to the message that the Universe has given to me and I am just following her lead with faith that every thing happens for a reason. I may not always know the purpose, but I don’t think the purpose is always meant for us to know anyway.
Back to my new friend. This friend sent me a song yesterday. One that I had never heard before but I absolutely loved it and I felt compelled to answer the title question of the song…How Did You Love? by Shinedown.
“No one gets out alive, every day is do or die
How Did You Love? by Shinedown
The one thing you leave behind
Is how did you love, how did you love?
It’s not what you believe, those prayers will make you bleed
But while you’re on your knees
How did you love, how did you love, how did you love?”
I hope with all of my heart that the legacy I leave behind me will be one of love and kindness in their purest forms. I hope that the people whom I have loved on every level in this life will remember my love as one that is gentle but fierce, unconditional and undying, flexible yet constant. When I give love, I have no choice but to give it fully and completely. I hold nothing back. I don’t need reserves because the reserves replenish themselves through the mere sake of giving. When asked the question, “How did I love?”, the answer will be “With everything that I have had, with every ounce of my being, and with every bit of my soul. I have held nothing back because this life is much too fleeting to only give bits and pieces.”
And now I ask you the same question. How did you love?
And now your featured favorites from last week.
Reader Favorite (Most Clicked)
Moumous of La Moumous shared the sassiest outfit that I really want to copy when the weather warms up in her post, 5 Ways to Wear Your “Mom Jeans”. If you have been toying with the idea of trying out the mom jean trend but you’re not sure how, just check out the styling tips that Moumous has offered. I am certain you will be inspired!
My Favorite Fashion Post
Jennifer of Effortlessly Sophisticated is also bringing all sorts of sass to the table with her post, Leather Jacket and Leopard Booties. This is head to toe perfect edginess and I would wear it all in a heartbeat.
My Favorite Non-Fashion Post
Maureen of Little Miss Casual shared a lovely post, Book Reviews #1, featuring 4 mini book reviews. I love how clear and concise her reviews are to give you a quick idea if it is something to interest you. Like Maureen, I have struggled with reading ever since I became a mom, so it was refreshing to share the same struggles and goals with someone else.
Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Parties.
Shop my outfit…
Outfit Details: Coat-Kohl’s (Exact) / Sweater and Scarf-Target / Shirt-Old Navy / Jeans-Gap (Thrifted) / Boots-Carlos Santana / Earrings-Old
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
74 Comments
Laurie
Passionately to my other half and the best I can to others! xx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Laurie, that is such a great answer! Thanks so much for sharing a response. I am always fascinated about the way people view love. It seems to be such a delicate subject for some yet I toss it around all over the place in a haphazard way!
xoxo
Shelbee
Christina Morley
I really enjoyed the song and I’m so glad that you have met a special friend who allows you the freedom to be yourself! Thanks for hosting and God bless!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Tina! I really appreciate that. I had never heard that song before and it really struck me. It is not exactly my genre of music, but it definitely caught my attention.
xoxo
Shelbee
Nancy
With hesitation!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Nancy, thanks for answering the question! Not one I expected but I suppose lots of people love with hesitation. I hope you have a wonderful week ahead, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Deborah Stinedurf
Those lyrics are so so good…and so accurate as well. I can’t imagine the loneliness and isolation you feel when no one really gets you so I’m really glad that you found someone that does. I love the subtle print mix in this outfit. It’s so much casual goodness! xo
Debbie
http://www.fashionfairydust.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Debbie, thank you so much for this wonderfully understanding comment! I cannot even tell you how much I appreciate that. I guess we all have our demons, right? But it’s good to find a person who maybe shares the same ones and you can unite in battle. This outfit (mostly the coat) definitely makes me feel super happy though even when I might be feeling a little down. I hope you have the most fantastic day, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Kellyann Rohr
What a difference a friend can make that really “gets you” in a way like no other. I am happy you have found this new friend! I hope too that I can be remembered as someone who loved and cared deeply – a loving legacy means more than anything else in my humble opinion.
I am loving that star jacket on you Shelbee and I’d wear this outfit in a heartbeat if the weather here permitted!
Have a great day my friend!
xo,
Kellyann
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Kellyann, thank you so much for this lovely (and loving) comment and compliment! A loving legacy is definitely much more meaningful than anything else in my opinion as well. And I do think that it is the legacy that you will leave behind, my friend. Your goodness and kindness just pour out of you so freely. Yours is such a beautiful bright light in this world!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kathrine Eldridge
I think what you want to leave behind is exactly what I want to leave behind. Love is what people remember the most and lives on. Thanks for this inspirational post and love this cozy look!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Kathrine, thanks so much! Love is such a sensitive subject for some, it seems. I am so glad that I shared this post because I am loving (see what I did there?) the responses! I hope you have the most wonderful day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jill
It feels so good when you find someone who completely understands you. Love those song lyrics. Also loving your star coat and this cozy winter look!
Jill – Doused in Pink
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Jill! It really does feel great. It is like a lifetime’s search has finally had a positive result! The sense of relief is amazing.
xoxo
Shelbee
Jennifer
I’m glad you found a friend!! Love the start jacket!!
Jennifer
Effortlessly Sophisticated
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Jennifer! You know, it seems to get more and more difficult to make friends the older we get so it is always such a great feeling when you really connect with someone at my geriatric age. Ha.
xoxo
Shelbee
Linda Cassidy
fully and whole heartedly with all of my being, that is how I loved
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I love that answer, Linda! Very similar to how I have loved. And I have no regrets!
xoxo
Shelbee
mireille
So glad you made that connection with a special friend. I try to love with a lasting love. Especially with friends, I try to keep connected to that my special friendships keep on growing.
Love these beautiful pictures! I bet you were cold but the results are great: that snow background looks marvelous to us southerners.
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Mireille, thanks so much! Lasting love is such a great way to approach life. I feel like once I have given my love, I won’t ever take it back. Connections may dwindle over time, but the love will always remain.
And actually I wasn’t that cold in these photos! It was about 35 degrees which is rather warm for this time of year where I live. And I also thought this snowy background was particularly beautiful. I took these photos yesterday morning and it really reminded me of Winter’s first snow, for some reason.
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
Welcome to my world. I am often feeling lonely and isolated in a psychological sense. I feel that people often mistake my kindness and see an opening to exploit me. So I have become very guarded with myself. I am too often at a loss with intellectual stimulation with others. I am curious by nature and want to learn. Many people are not willing to go deeper. I am the type while watching a TV show or reading book will have my curiosity jump up and go a tangent and go down another rabbit hole. It is just who I am. Many people don’t understand it and dismiss me as being aloof or just I am a whack job. This is why I feel so free when I am exploring by myself and have gotten used to it. As much as I wish I could share stuff with a significant other while exploring, I have learned what where interests and brain are others are not there yet.
Looking nice and thanks for hosting. Hope you have a wonderful week.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Patrick, all I can say is that I adore you! Thank you for this comment. Clearly you understand what I am talking about! Don’t give up all hope because you never know when that person will cross your path. In the meantime, however, definitely just continue on that road less traveled, in whatever direction is pulling you. When we get so far out on that road there just isn’t a lot of traffic, but every now and then we meet somebody who is way out there alone as well. That is where the magic happens. In my experience, it is usually short lived magic because we each have to continue on our own way and separate at some point. But I sure do cherish every moment of traveling the road with a companion no matter how short the duration may be.
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
Curiosity is a rare commodity. I get it, Patrick. A lot of people can’t make those deep dives.
Michelle
http://mybijoulifeonline.com
jess jannenga
I love my hubby with my full heart and my pups.
I thnk it is wonderful that you met someone that can really understand what you are going through and can relate and understand. I often feel like no- one understands my condition. My mom didn’t really understand it and I think is still skeptical about what happens with me. She finally told me that she understood a bit better when she developed pain from a pinched nerve this year. Often, my condition isn’t even taken into consideration when asked to do something with family.
Anyhooo- the snow does look so pretty in your pictures! We have had such grey and bareness- I either need sun or snow, something pretty to look at that puts you in a better mood!
Love the plaid on you and the cozy sweater !
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jess, thanks so much for sharing your answer to my question. I am really enjoying the different responses that I am getting! I cannot even imagine what you endure on a daily basis being in so much pain. You really do inspire me how you just look at the bright side, do what you need to do, and make it look somewhat easy. I think when we battle these so-called “invisible” illnesses and we make it “look easy,” the people close to us can’t really understand it. It is sad that it took your mom experiencing her own pain in order to relate to yours. My mother never quite understood Bipolar Disorder. But she was the opposite extreme whereby she simply labeled me as “sick” and would just baby me and encourage me to just give up hope and embrace the label. It was really kind of sad and infuriating! I do hope that you are able to find a community or just one person who can really, really relate to your experience. It is quite relieving, I must say.
On that note, I hope the sun shines for you soon as well! This winter is just dragging on and on and we are not even half way through it yet.
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
Jess, I find it so odd when people disbelieve the experience of others simply because they themselves have not had the experience. I always wonder how many other things they disbelieve due to lack of experience. It would be so limiting. I’m sorry your mom has been skeptical. And while I don’t know the particulars of ED, I do understand the presence of pain that has no well-recognized cause. I don’t need to understand the details to believe you.
Michelle
http://mybijoulifeonline.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I agree with all of this, Michelle!
xoxo
Shelbee
Ashley
I love that you found a new friend who you connect with- having someone truly see you is a beautiful thing.
As for how I love… usually fiercely. 🙂
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Ashley, thank you so much for this lovely comment. And I am not at all surprised that you love in a fierce way! Your fire is evident!
xoxo
Shelbee
leslie roberts clingan
Our family is plagued or blessed by mental illness, OCD and bipolar, and anxiety disorders. Depending on how you look at it. I have sought a friend who would get me on the good days and bad. So glad you have such a person in your life. Maybe this year, I’ll meet mine. Love all of these photos with that snowy backdrop. Beautiful, cozy look.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Leslie, thank you so much for sharing your experience. And bipolar really is a plague AND a blessing. For me, I can’t imagine who I would even be without it. And as dark as it can get inside my head sometimes, it has also made me see the world differently, appreciate all the good things with more gratitude than I ever thought possible. It has made me stronger, more understanding, more loving and caring. It has made me feel more, both good and bad, but you have to take the bad to appreciate the good. And I do so hope you find a person who connect with you on that level. But in the meantime, you know that I get it! So you are always welcome to reach out to me as well.
xoxo
Shelbee
jodie filogomo
That is the best feeling ever Shelbee!! I think there are many that can relate, more than we realize. Sometimes we just have to give them the chance.
XOXO
Jodie
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Jodie! I agree with you…we do have to remain open to others and give them a chance to relate as well. I think sometimes we get so afraid of ourselves that we hide away and isolate certain parts. But when we are openly vulnerable, it is surprising how many people actually do relate to us.
xoxo
Shelbee
Tamar A Strauss-Benjamin
Yay for new friends!! Love that coat.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
For real, Tamar! Making friends gets harder the older we get…especially when I never leave my house! Haha. So I am super excited to have a new one. And this coat was irresistible when I first saw it.
xoxo
Shelbee
Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom
I just love both of these looks, Shelbie… but, that fluffy winter white coat with the stars really catches my eye! So pretty with all the snow behind you, too! It is so wonderful when we totally connect with someone new, isn’t it?
Carrie
curlycraftymom.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Carrie, thank you so much! I could not resist this coat when I first saw it. It is very puffy though and adds lot of volume to my already rather large frame! But oh so cozy and fun so I’m going wear it anyway! And yes those connections only come around every once in while, so it is important to appreciate them!
xoxo
Shelbee
ratnamurti
What a beautiful heartfelt post. I am deeply moved by it. I have a close bipolar friend and I am constantly being humbled by her wonderfulness and bravery. She inspires me. What I didn’t realise was that loneliness you talked of. How have I lived? I’ve endeavoured to live with love. I haven’t always succeeded, and have often been treated badly in return. But still, I live with love.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Ratnamurti, thank you so very much for this beautiful comment. The loneliness inside a bipolar brain can be one of the most isolating and frightening things. Once clarity returns, however, I think I wouldn’t even know myself without that piece being there. Your friend is very lucky to have you. Clearly you love and support her if you may not understand all of it completely. And that is so important, too. I believe that all of us who live with abundant love have been treated badly at points, but we cannot help but to continue living with love because it is who we are.
xoxo
Shelbee
Laura Bambrick
Shelbee I think with your blog you have an amazing platform to show love and acceptance of all! I’m so glad you found a person to share and connect with! That’s a wonderful thing!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Laura, thank you so very much for your very kind words. It really is a cool thing when you meet someone who you can connect with. It does restore one’s faith in humanity and the universe’s plan!
xoxo
Shelbee
Darlene
Ah, when you meet that someone who totally gets you, who feels like they know you from inside your head–that is truly special. That person who can explore your deepest thoughts…a rare but wonderful find. Congratulations, my friend. Enjoy that special place. Oh, and you look so amazing in your photos–your inner happiness is showing through your style and your confidence.
xx Darlene
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Darlene, thank you so much for this lovely comment. It is a very special moment when you find someone that you connect with on that level. I swear it gets harder and harder to make new friends the older we get.
xoxo
Shelbee
Vaishali Verma
That star jacket is fabulous .
-Vaishali
http://www.vivaciouswish.com/2020/01/23/animal-print-effect/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Vaishali! I couldn’t resist it when I first saw it!
xoxo
Shelbee
Shelly
I’m so sorry this is a battle you have to fight every day Shelbee. I can only imagine how lonely it must feel at times.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Shelly! I am not really complaining about it so much as I am totally used to it by now. I just feel it is important to share these things because it may resonate with someone who really needs to feel not so alone. I appreciate your support and encouraging words!
xoxo
Shelbee
the ornery old lady
Oh gosh, I don’t know if this will go through and I don’t know if it is even welcome, but here it is.
How did I love?
With much reservation, fear, and sorrow.
I used to have such a strong need to connect with someone that I let a lot of the wrong ones in, and they did me a lot of damage.
Romantically, my theme song is Love Stinks, and I do not want anyone telling me that I need to “try again.” No, I do not, and I don’t want to.
Even with friendship, my theme song is Love Hurts. Most people who have said they wanted to be friends really just wanted something from me. Money or connections, when I had those. Now that I don’t have much of anything, these “friends” are long gone.
I can’t really relate to other people with bipolar disorder because although some of them understand the bipolar part, they don’t understand the ADD, OCD, and PTSD that is also part of the package.
A lot of people get help from medications, but I can’t take anything except a low dose of Lithium. I have type 2 bipolar disorder, so I normally do not get full-on manias and I normally do not experience psychosis. When I take SSRIs, I experience both. I’ve learned a lot of coping skills, but it’s a real balancing act. If I let someone in and they betray me, I could end up in the ER with blood running down my arms from slashing my wrists. It’s happened before. I do not want it to happen again.
I’ve had love to give in the past. I give it only to a select few and with a lot of reservations. Some people think this means that I’m cold and standoffish. However, I’ve found that people who demand love tend to be people that will only misuse it.
Best wishes.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and it is absolutely welcomed here. I am so sorry that you have been hurt and betrayed by people. I think when we are vulnerable and hurting and trusting, we all too often let the wrong people get too close and they can destroy us and shift our entire perspectives about everything. I have been there, too, so I totally relate. And yeah, it is absolutely a balancing act finding the coping skills and medications that work for us. Trying to reach that perfect balance throughout my own bipolar journey nearly killed me more than times than I like to admit. So I am not going to tell you to try again or give people a chance, I am going to tell you to keep doing what you need to do to keep yourself as safe and happy as possible. It is a life that many do not understand so we are all too often on our own in the battle. But know that my space here is always a safe space to share.
xoxo
Shelbee
Ruth Josey
Wow! Where to start? I’m so glad you found somebody to connect with who can empathize with you on a deeper level. I’ve found that while most are sympathetic when you tell them what’s happening with you, they really really do not get it (and I’ve been on that side of being sympathetic but not really getting it and then karma said “Here – here’s what your friend/loved one actually went through” and then I felt bad that I hadn’t been more understanding. The words of the song by Shinedown are beautiful and so thought-provoking. I wonder what the person who wrote them had gone through…. On a much lighter note, I love your outfit – you’re so beautiful! And it looks like two different outfits when you add that gorgeous jacket and scarf. I’m loving the linkup every week, too. I wish I had so much more time to be able to go through all of the links because they all look amazing (and isn’t Jennifer so cute in that black jacket and leopard booties? And the photobomber behind her is dressed in her favorite robe). Thank you so much for hosting it!
Ruth
https://voguefauxreal.com/2020/01/26
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Ruth, thank you so very much for this wonderful comment. You always share so much insight when you comment and I so appreciate that. I have also been in positions where I haven’t quite understood certain things someone is going through even though I am trying to be sympathetic. And then the universe definitely has a way of delivering strong messages to you so you really get the point! I am seriously blushing over your very heartfelt compliments over here. I do try to visit all the links at my parties and there are some great ones, for sure! If only there were more hours in the days to visit and read all the beautiful content that is shared in the land of blogging. And isn’t Jennifer’s photo bomber the cutest?!
xoxo
Shelbee
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Lizzie
Aww happy to hear that you made a new friend that really gets you! That’s so hard to find now-a-days and I hope that friendship truly blossoms for you. Also, loving that star coat!! You were right – it’s very similar to my white/black leopard one!! I just love it! <3
Lizzie
http://www.lizzieinlace.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Lizzie! It really does get more and more difficult to make good friends the older we get. So I approach all people with an open mind and if a connection is made, I must pursue it! I suppose I would only be hurting myself not to, right? And I knew you were going to love this coat! Yay!
xoxo
Shelbee
Maureen
That’s so awesome Shelbee. Having someone that truly gets you is such a beautiful gift. I love your star coat btw. It’s so pretty and an eye candy! Not to mention it looks really soft so it must be cozy. I do my best to love fully but I know that I am also guarded. Thank you so much for the feature Shelbee. It was a nice surprise and I always appreciate it. I hope you are having a good week so far and happy Wednesday!
Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Maureen, thank you so much! It really is nice to have a person who understands that part of my mind that gets very isolated. I am appreciating every minute of it. And this coat was irresistible the moment I saw it. Actually, I don’t even think it is that flattering because it’s so puffy, but it was too cute and too soft to pass up! Thank you also for sharing how you love! This has been a really great discussion on that topic with all of the answers I have gotten to that question. Everyone really does love differently, yet so similarly as well.
xoxo
Shelbee
Cheryl Shops
I love with as much kindness and light as I can give. Also, everyone has the need to feel understood (or connected), no matter what their mental state. I’m glad you were able to connect with a new friend who made you feel that way!
Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Cheryl, thank you so much for joining this discussion. I am loving all of the answers to the love question. Everyone is so different and yet so very similar, too. And I agree, we do all need to feel that kind of connection. We are wired to be social and emotional beings.
xoxo
Shelbee
Jean | Delightful Repast
Shelbee, we all need someone who “gets” us, or at least wants to. I was very blessed to have a father who, though he never “got” me, loved me unconditionally and always let me be me. And though my husband is quite different from me in many ways, he enjoys our differences and has always let me be me. Love is a bridge.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jean, that is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing that. I am very blessed with an amazing husband as well who not only lets me be me, but encourages and supports every crazy little idea that I get in my head! But he does have not bipolar disorder so that part of me is very hard for him to truly “get” although he is so wonderful in being my rock through all the ups and downs.
xoxo
Shelbee
Lisa Richardson
Yay for a new friend, and one who gets you is an added bonus. Your hair has gotten so long. It looks great. I love the layers you have going on and that start jacket is so cute. Thanks for linking up with Style Six. XOXO
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Lisa! Doesn’t it seem to get harder to make new friends the older we get? And made even harder still because I never leave my house! So I love when I can make a new connection. My hair is so crazy long these days that I don’t know what to do with it anymore. I do need to get it trimmed soon though!
xoxo
Shelbee
Lacey
With all of myself and over indulgent shopping. Self-Care is the best form of love. LOL. I have anxiety disorder. I had a college advisor tell me once not to let anyone ever know. She said, everyone wants to say they accept it but they really don’t. If I divulged it I would never be taken seriously, and considered a flaky for employment. It was my first and last semester at that college. It sounds like you found an amazing friend. Amazing connections can be hard. Also this coat has me seeing stars. So obsessed! L O V E I T!
thank you for another amazing blog post, thexglitterbox
@thexglitterbox
https://thexglitterbox.com/a-blazer-belt-and-bellbottoms-ohhh-myyy/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Lacey, thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your struggles as well. When I started this blog with the intent of sharing my mental health journey, it was so intimidating, but I realized that people connect to our vulnerabilities and we can’t hide them away forever. There is so much strength in sharing what we constantly overcome. I am so sorry you had an advisor who gave terrible advice! I had a psychiatrist tell me to just go home and be sick that I was not able to function in the real world. It is surprising some of the things people who are trained in the field will say. I just shake my head and share my power! By the way, I don’t know if you saw my Friday Favorites post last week, but I listed you and your blog as one of those favorites! You inspire me!
xoxo
Shelbee
Lauren Renee Sparks
Yay for new connections! I once wrote that when my life here is done, I hope my tombstone will only say, “She loved.” That’s the legacy I hope to leave. And what I wouldn’t give for a little of that snow down here.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Lauren, thank you so much! And that is the most beautiful legacy of all to leave behind…that you loved. And I am certain that it is the one you will leave. You are so full of love and light and kindness. It is contagious! And if I could ship some of this ice and snow out of here, I would absolutely be that generous! Have a wonderful weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
So many competing thoughts here (and I’m going to have to go back and look at your outfit, because I was thinking so much about the verbal content of your post that the outfit didn’t really register)….
First of all, I am so thrilled that you found someone with who you could connect so fully. Except for mild anxiety, I have no mental health diagnoses (all of mine are physical), but it took me until I was 48 years to find someone whose mind worked as mine did. I totally relate to the loneliness you describe. I had come to believe it was my lot in life (and may be everyone’s lot in life). We were lovers for a bit, and now remain the best of friends. Knowing this person existed made significant changes to my underlying worldview and how I felt about myself. I understand the gravity of finding this person.
This led me to finding an inane, but useful tool that helped me understand how my brain works – a personality test called the Myers-Briggs. It’s been discredited as a tool for hiring purposes, etc, and consequently gets a lot of flack. But for me it explained so much. The general premise is that their are 16 personality types based on how your brain works. When I took it, I found my personality constituted only 2% of the population. And then when broken down by gender, only 0.5% of the population were women. It explained my feelings of loneliness – and it wasn’t my imagination. I also got a better understanding of how my mind works, and a broader understanding of the different (albeit generalized) permutations of others’ minds.
As for how I love? Without judgment. Without expectation. And yet you’re welcome to everything I’ve got to give.
And now that I’ve gone back to look, I see another great winter outfit! I am particularly loving that scarf.
Michelle
http://mybijoulifeonline.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Michelle, thanks so much for sharing this! You know I haven’t take a Myers-Briggs test in about 8 years or so and I cannot even remember what my personality type was. But I do remember when I was studying it in my mental health counseling program that we talked about how our personalities on these tests do change slightly through the years based on life experiences. I went back and took it again at that time and answered the questions in the way that I would have when I was in my 20’s and I got a much different result. A lot has changed in my life in the last 8 years and now I am curious to see what that test would reveal. I will have to go find one online and check it out. But what I am more interested in now is this research you have done that states that population percentages of the personality types. So now I am off to do some testing…I’ll keep you posted!
xoxo
Shelbee
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
And apparently, you have to pay $49.95 to take it online! I will have to see I can find the old paper copy that I had from my classes.
Anna Muttonstyle
Wholeheartedly for my children and husband. I still have painful love for my parents recently departed.
We have a mental health first aider at work now. Isn’t that progress!
Anna at Muttonstyle
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Anna, thanks so much for joining the discussion about love! That is a beautiful response. And yes, that is so awesome that you have a mental health first aider! Hopefully, more employers will start taking mental health as seriously as it should be taken!
xoxo
Shelbee
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