Fetishes + What to Wear on a Role Play Date & Link Up On the Edge #269
Since I have been sharing my sexy adventures lately and receiving some wonderfully positive and entertaining feedback, I figured I would just keep on going with this topic for today. But before we get to the business of what is a role play date and what to wear to one, I want to briefly discuss fetishes. I have long been fascinated by sexual fetishes. So fascinated, in fact, that I wrote my Honors Philosophy thesis on the topic of voyeurism back in 1995. I wanted to know why people have fetishes, what makes certain things become a sexual fetish, is it a natural human response to some trigger to have a fetish, are fetishes bad?
First of all, what is a fetish? It is defined as a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc. Certainly you have heard of some of the more common fetishes like foot fetishes, bondage, cuckolding, and group play. Other common fetishes that I have encountered include tights and nylons, pregnancy fetishes, choking and collaring, to name just a few. If this stuff fascinates you like it does me, check out this list of 239 sexual fetishes and kinks.
Just the word fetish seems to conjure up some idea of dark, twisted, freaky sex acts that only happen in urban legends. It seems that many people keep their fetishes and kinks super secret, only ever seeking them out in pornography because somewhere along the line we have been taught that our sexual desires are inherently bad. So we permit ourselves to watch, but never to engage. I am no different from everybody else raised in our culture of puritanical views, keeping my kinky sexual desires private, not allowing myself to enjoy what I enjoy simply for the sake of enjoying it.
But I had a revelation recently on the topic of fetishes. I was having a text conversation with a friend on this exact topic. My friend was sharing a specific fetish with me and wondered if it was a result of a childhood trauma. It was a serious conversation, not a playful one, and I paused for a moment as I wondered how on earth I should respond to this question. I wanted to offer a thoughtful response that would be helpful in some way. At that moment, I felt a bone chilling tingle go from the base of my neck straight down to my heels and I went blank for a moment as I started texting a response. I hit send without ever knowing what I wrote. I looked down at the text when my brain fog cleared and this was my response, “Most fetishes are the result of things like childhood trauma. It is just your soul’s preferred way of healing. So let it heal. And embrace the process.”
“Your soul’s preferred way of healing.” Those were not my words. They came from somewhere outside of me. I felt it. And they were words that we both needed to hear to validate that our fetishes really are okay to have and to indulge. I have no idea who delivered me the perfect words in the moment that I needed them, but I am grateful to have been the vessel chosen to deliver the message to someone who needed it.
You may be wondering what fetish did I need validated. Now I am going to get really vulnerable in sharing this stuff. I have a Daddy fetish…the role play kind, of course. Role play itself is a mild fetish that many people enjoy. There are all sorts of different role play games one can engage in for sexual pleasure such as doctor-patient, teacher-student, boss-employee, and the list goes on including mild to hard core role plays to completely fictional and over the top scenarios. One of my favorite role play fantasies that I have yet to act out is April O’Neil and Casey Jones from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
But let’s get back to this Daddy fetish thing. I honestly didn’t even know I had this fetish until I met the perfect man to play the role and we fell very naturally into our Daddy-Baby Girl game. When I found myself really enjoying this dynamic, of course I had to investigate and figure out why. It doesn’t really take that much experience in the field of psychology to link my Daddy fetish to the fact that I was only 20 when my own father died.
A Daddy fetish does not mean that I wanted to have sex with my own dad! However, it does mean that I enjoy sex with someone else’s dad while I call him Daddy and that is the turn on. It is a fetish that is common among women who take meticulous control of things in their everyday lives and want to completely submit to an authority figure in the bedroom. For me, when it comes time for my sexy fun, I don’t want to make the decisions and I don’t want to enforce the rules. I do that all day long. I simply want to submit and enjoy being cared for on a sexual, passionate level which is equally pleasing to my partner. Two people who aim to please one another really does have some magical results!
For the most part, all of my role play games stay in the private realm of our homes. This Daddy-Baby Girl dynamic does not carry over into our regular daily lives. Some fetishes like this can, however, in which the partners live every aspect of their lives within this dynamic. That is definitely not suitable for me so our bedroom only role play games work perfectly.
However, a few weeks ago, I decided to dress for a Daddy Date to go out for dinner before heading home for the real sexy stuff. Food is pretty sexy, too, and we needed some sustenance before embarking on an all night long sexfest so I figured I would start the role play a little sooner than normal. I went for a punk rock Baby Girl/School Girl look complete with a collar and dog tag that indicates that I belong to Daddy. (Jeff made the dog tag for me at Petco! Hahaha.) And then we headed out to Dinosaur Bar-B-Que in Syracuse. Yum. I definitely got some looks sitting at the bar in this outfit. And Daddy kind of loved it!
And in case you were ever wondering my what real dad looked like…I very much resemble him! He was dark haired with a giant fluffy black mustache and big black framed glasses. He didn’t wear lipstick though. Not that I know of, at least.
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So tell me, do you have any fetishes that you are willing to share?
Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Parties.
Outfit Details: Skirt and Turtleneck-Charlotte Russe / Jacket-Old Navy / Tights-Sheertex / Boots-Steve Madden / Button Down-Target / Necklace and Belt-Hot Topic / Earrings and Socks-Old / Dog Tag-Petco / Gloves-Amazon
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
44 Comments
Kathrine Eldridge
I adore this cute look Shelbee! The skirt is so chic and loving the edgy lace up boots with it. Thanks so much for the link up!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Kathrine!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kathrine Eldridge
Thank you for the feature too Shelbee!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
It was my pleasure!
xoxo
Shelbee
Tony Rogers
I have the foot fetish, I will look at a woman’s feet before I even notice her face. I am very turned on by a dominant woman with nice feet. My wife and I will play busted burglar and I’m the burglar, it is such a turn on.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Tony, thanks so much for sharing this with me! I just giggled at the idea of Busted Burglar! It sounds a like a super fun and sexy game!
xoxo
Shelbee
Maureen
You nailed this look Shelbee! It’s cute, unique and I love the dog collar. I also found your post very interesting. I have heard of fetishes before but have never really thought about it in a deep way. I am going to check out that article you linked at the top and read more about it! I hope your week is going well so far and happy Friday!
Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Maureen, thank you so much! Fetishes are one of those topics that get such a dark devious reputation, but they are really just our playful preferences in enjoying our bodies in a sexual way. It is a fun way to act out fantasies without ever having to leave your bedroom! I hope that you find some value in learning a bit more about the subject!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jennifer
There’s quite a few things I want to try because of fan fic 🙈 I’d love to be tied up but I need to be with someone who I trust 100%.
Jennifer
Curated By Jennifer
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you for sharing that with me, Jennifer! I have tried being tied up but I am much too claustrophobic for it even with a very trusted person. I do love the idea of it so I have been exploring other rope bondage options that don’t make me feel so restrained. The first time I did try it though, I remember using scarves and having them tied loose enough that I could slip right out if I panicked. Just some things from my experience, but definitely you have to have trust. Honestly, all sex is better when there is 100% trust!
xoxo
Shelbee
Nancy
Okay, I don’t see bondage and role play as a fetisj. I like both btw. I think a fetisj is more that you get sexual excited by a object. But that is only my opinion. Perhaps I don’t want to be a woman with a fetisj, lol.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
See what I mean, Nancy, you don’t want to be a person with a fetish because society has deemed fetishes a bad thing! But they aren’t and bondage and role play are absolutely classified as fetishes! So own it, my friend, you have fetishes and you should go on and enjoy them!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
I understand what you’re saying, Nancy. I think those things are probably a turn on for a majority of people, so why is it a fetish?
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I feel like anything that is not straight on missionary style for purposes of procreation may be considered fetishes! So silly but such a fascinating cultural study!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
Exactly!
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
Michelle
This is an adorable look! And it sounds like you two had a lot of fun with it – in and out of the bedroom. So I read the list of 239 fetishes. First I must take issue with the idea that cunninglingus is a fetish, but fellatio is not?! The other thing is that there are some things on the list that I think most people would find is a turn on if it weren’t for the Puritans – watching others have sex and having sex with more than one person for a couple of examples. In any case an interesting topic!
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Michelle! Oh my gosh, I read that article a while back and didn’t reread it but I do remember being puzzled by some of it! It is interesting nonetheless. Some of it I can’t even comprehend though! I feel like the Puritans are always getting in the way of our sexual pleasures. It’s sort of ironic. If they have such issue with sex, why are they always somehow present in our minds while we are having sex?! Hahahahaha I AM enjoying this discussion more than you know!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
Some fetishes are very unusual – amputee fetish for example. Can’t wrap my head around that one. But it’s none of my business. The only time I think a fetish could be a problem is if it might kill you – asphyxiation for example. But that’s logic; not Puritanism. I think the Puritans probably found everything to be a fetish except for the missionary position, and if sex wasn’t necessary to make babies, that one would probably be on the list! 😜
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh my gosh, I just typed almost the same thing in response to your comment to Nancy about everything being a fetish excpet missionary! And yes, some fetishes should be looked at logically, for sure! I do enjoy some light choking but I certainly don’t want to black out from lack of oxygen! Actually it is more the visual aesthetic for me than the actual feeling of choking. Yuck. Who wants to feel that in the heat of pleasure?!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
Ha! I just saw your reply on Nancy’s comment. Great minds!
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
We are both smarty pants! And fancy pants. That might make us smancy pants! Ha.
Michelle
🤣🤣🤣🤣
jess jannenga
I appreciate your openess Shelbee! The outfit is fun! Love the plaid mini skirt with the boots!
I feel like I learn something new every day! LOL!
Have a great weekend!
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aw, thanks, Jess! There is so much new to learn in the world! By the way, I just sent you an email with my travel details to Asheville!
xoxo
Shelbee
Cheryl Shops
I feel like we need a better word for fetish. Yes, some of them are more out there than others (is cunnilingus really considered a fetish?! I consider it necessary!) but I feel like they’re more preferences or turn-ons than anything else! Speaking of which, I hope Daddy was good to you after this shoot 😉
Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Cheryl! Michelle said the same thing about cunnilingus and I honestly haven’t read through that whole list in a long time. I don’t know how they classify certain acts as fetish. It’s all kind of weird and confusing to me. But there are lots of people who are not into cunnilingus and will not perform it so it seems like any kind of sex act other than missionary style for procreation purposes might be called a fetish! And yeah, it does need a different word. I guess kink is one synonym but even that has such a devious connotation. I just did a thesaurus search and there really are no other suitable synonyms…predilection, proclivity, bias, craze, desire, fixation, partiality, penchant, propensity, stimulant, and thing! Haha. I like “thing”! I have a Daddy thing! And yes, he was very good to me after my photo shoot. He is always good to me! I am a seriously lucky woman and ever so spoiled by two magnificent men!
xoxo
Shelbee
Laura Bambrick
Well this was very informative! Honstly I feel very ill-educated when it comes to many things like this so I appreciate the insight!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Laura! I hope I am not overwhelming you though with this information! I know this stuff can be kind of sensitive and intimidating to process. Little known fact, I worked in an adult toy shop for about a year in my mid-30s. It was one of my favorite jobs ever because I wasn’t just a girl behind the counter ringing up purchases, I was the girl who gave relationship and sex counseling to my customers to the point that I had built a whole client base of return customers seeking both toys and my knowledge on bedroom fun! So if you have any questions, I am happy to answer!
xoxo
Shelbee
Susan
Wow what a brave subject to write about and thank you for doing so, this is something I’ve never discussed with even my best girlfriends do to embaressment. My partner is a submissive to women, which is real change from his work as a manager in a responsible role. One of our fun activities is to wear boots similar to yours but with a pair of tight jeans and ride him like a little pony on his hands and knees. Oh and we do have great normal sex too.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh my gosh, Susan, thank you for sharing this with me! I love that you are open to indulging each other’s fantasies and fetishes and just have fun with it! That’s what sex should be all about…the fun, the physical pleasure, the connection, the laughter! Your pony ride role play sounds like great fun that certainly will result in some pretty great sex, too!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jelena Dimic
Wow, I love this look, you really nailed it! <3
http://www.couture-case.com/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Jelena!
xoxo
Shelbee
Nadine
Shelbee, you look so cute in your schoolgirl-fetish-outfit! Love it! Thank you for sharing your intimate thoughts with us. You are great!
Love, Nadine
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Nadine! I really appreciate your kind and supportive words!
xoxo
Shelbee
Rockslide
I enjoyed your blog. You and your husband seem to have a great relationship. Life should be fun. My fetish is women in tights or pantyhose. So you know I loved this set of pictures. Thank you for sharing.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, my friend! Well, of course I already knew a bit about your tights fetish! That seems to be a very common fetish in my experience. And, yes, my husband and I have an amazing relationship. I would not want to do live with anyone else!
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
I have a couple but I don’t want to share them in a public forum. So happy for you and I think it is great what you are doing. Keep it up.
Looking so very nice and I hope that you are having a wonderful week.
Patrick Weseman
Also, thanks for the feature. That is so cool.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
You are very welcome, my friend! Thanks for linking.
xoxo
Shelbee
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Patrick! I understand why you don’t want to share publicly! But I think I have a pretty good idea based on our private conversations! I hope you are enjoying the weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Lovely
What a fun look! You look cute in this plaid skirt! I enjoyed reading this post!
xoxo
Lovely
http://www.mynameislovely.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Lovely! I really appreciate that!
xoxo
Shelbee
Suzy Turner
What a fascinating subject! It’s great that I can read about all this stuff without actually having to google it lol. I really don’t think I have any fetishes to be honest with you. I’ve tried hard to come up with something but…nope. Nothing springs to mind! I shall have to give it some serious thought!
You look amazing, by the way. I bet Daddy was loving every second of seeing you being ogled all night long lol!
Hugs
Suzy xx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Suzy! I am glad that I could provide some educational material so you don’t have to go searching on Google! Fetish or not, I am sure that you and your husband make your own kind of magic in the bedroom and that is all that really matters! And yes, Daddy really did enjoy the looks I was getting in my school girl outfit! Haha.
xoxo
Shelbee