A New Decade: Regrets, Resolutions, and Reinvention
Welcome to a new decade. The year is 2020. And I am not really sure how to proceed from here. Do I leap blindly into the future paying no heed to the dangers that may lie ahead? Do I tiptoe cautiously forward hoping for the best? Do I stay the same as I have always been and consistently fly by the seat of my pants? Or should I be more diligent in carefully laying out detailed plans with specific goals in mind?
One would think that with 45 years of life experience, I would have a better clue. But I suppose with the wisdom of the years, the only thing that I have truly learned is that I don’t really know all that much about anything or anyone. I just stumble around aimlessly and confusedly, hoping that something somewhere along the way will make sense to me. I blunder and fall. I misinterpret and misunderstand many things. I make mistakes both inconsequential and of a more dramatic nature. I do really dumb things with the occasional and intermittent brilliant thing sprinkled amongst all of the ridiculousness that overwhelms my life.
As for regrets, there is oh so much in my life that I could classify as such, but what is the point really? You can’t undo what you have done. You must simply learn from your errors and focus forward, hoping that you will be more insightful in the future. Holding on to the past and all that it is consistently proves to be a fruitless endeavor. Besides that fact, our past, every little bit of it including the good, the bad, the blessings, and the tragedies, is the foundation of who we are right now. Changing our past can never be done straight down to things that happened 30 seconds ago. Time moves so fast that we must just brace ourselves for the staggering speed at which we move through life. Who the heck has time to dwell on past transgressions when we are flying through the universe at a nearly paralyzing velocity?
As for resolutions, I can say the same. What is the point? We are creatures of habit and bad habits are hard to break. We must consciously decide to resolve the issues that haunt us and the first day of the new year is so completely arbitrary and ineffective in forcing such resolve. We make the changes we desire in the moments when we have simply had quite enough. A set date cannot dictate our limits of frustration. We decide and take action exactly when we are ready to do so. That time is different for everyone and every situation. I have been wanting to make changes for quite a long time, changes in the way I live my life, changes in my opinions about certain things, changes in my personal insights, changes that require an extensively exhausting amount of work on one’s self. And isn’t it sometimes just easier to fall solidly and comfortably back on that which we already know, even if it is not what we desire? I am just as guilty as the next person for indulging my inner laziness.
While regrets and resolutions seem to be a perfunctory response to the new year, perhaps it is reinvention that is better suited to the commencement of a brand new decade. A new decade seems to elicit a more profound process of thinking about what lies ahead of us, more so than the annual changing of the calendar year after year. Reinvention of self, of mind and body, of standards and priorities, of opinions and motivation. Examination of what drives us, of where our passions lie, of what our callings may be. Investigating our purpose and the things that make us want, really want, to get out of bed in the morning. Acknowledging where we have failed in the past and how we can do things better given the opportunity again.
These opportunities to try again are not presented when the calendar flips to another year. So many opportunities are laid before us each and every day. We are faced with decision after decision in every single moment that we are gifted the breath of life. While some decisions are easy, others require so much more energy to take the next step. By not taking any steps forward, we are essentially making the decision to remain stagnant right where we are. If you are fortunate enough to be satisfied, content, and happy right where you are, hold on to that with a very tight grasp and an exponential amount of gratitude because you never know when life as you know it will be flipped upside down. Upside down lives seem impossible to turn right side up again when you are floundering about on your head. Remaining secure in the knowledge that some of this life is out of our control is often the only saving grace to push us forward through the chaos until we find ourselves right side up once again.
While regrets and resolutions seem to be an arcane ideal of New Years from the past, they have since been replaced by the ever trendy “word of the year”. I am not really one to jump on the trend wagon, but I am also not completely opposed if a trend can have some positive influence in my daily way of life. So as I ended 2019 feeling a bit somber and discontent with myself, I am embracing the concept of reinvention in 2020 to kick off a new decade. I am not setting specific goals in this moment because I am not ready for all that, but I am going to focus on this idea of reforming, rejuvenating, and reinventing myself into a better person.
What are you plans as you move forward into this new modern decade?
Wishing you all the happiest, healthiest, most blessed new year yet.
Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Parties.
Shop my outfit…
Outfit Details: Dress-Thrifted / Jacket-c/o Zaful (Old) / Beret-c/o Banggood (Old) / Boots-Shoe Dazzle (Old) / Scarf-Talbots (Old) / Gloves-Isotoner from Target (Old) / Earrings-Charlotte Russe (Old) / Tights-Old
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
37 Comments
Barbara De Mul
Hey Shelb!
Divine outfit, anything checkered usually has my fancy. And those shoes! I seem to remember reading ‘old’ under your shoes comments and ‘old’ your shoes must be for you to truddle through heaps of snow like that!
i’m not quite done yet with my musings on the new decade, but when i am I’ll share them on my blog! (midnightpopcorn)
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Barbara! I put that “old” label on the things that I couldn’t provide a link to the exact product. But these pretty red boots are about 3 years old, so maybe that isn’t really all that old for shoes, but they were not expensive which is my normal go-to in footwear since I live in such a snowy place…all of my shoes get quickly ruined. I look forward to reading your new year musings! Wishing you all the best in 2020!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
First off, this outfit is adorable. Each piece is unique and interesting.
As for the coming decade, I need to recover from the end of 2019. A family emergency and ensuing drama have Dan & I lying in bed thankful for the love, kindness, and sense of fun that pervades our small household.
Michelle
http://mybijoulifeonline.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Michelle! Oh no, I am so sorry to hear that you had a family emergency. I do hope everything is okay and that you and Dan are embracing all that is good in your lives. Sending lots of positive energy your way, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
ratnamurti
I so love this post!!! Honest, funny, and so true I suspect for nearly everyone. I’m with you in wanting to be a better person as the reinvention thing.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Ratnamurti! It is always so validating to learn that what I share is relatable to others! Wishing you all the best in the new year!
xoxo
Shelbee
Tamar Benjamin
What a cute dress!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Tamar! When I saw it in the consignment shop, it was pretty much love at first sight!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kathrine Eldridge
I also don’t make major resolution. I do pick a word each year to describe where I want to go. Mine is wait on the Lord so there is no point in making major plans. Lol! Love this chic look. The tights and boots are fabulous! Happy 2020 Shelbee!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Kathrine! Yeah, resolutions are just kind of silly and seem to set us up for failure. Putting your faith in God and the Universe is a much better way. Wishing you all the best in 2020!
xoxo
Shelbee
Nancy
First of all, Happy New Year my dear blogging friend! I wish that you and your lovely family will have a fabulous year!
We are so much a like, with all our sometimes dark clouds in our head, and doubts and insecuraties. We live our lives the best way we can don’t we. But for some people it seems so easy, why can’t it ever be easy? But I am glad that I learned that word from you, imposter! Haha, are you following me? We set our goals to high. I will try to let my goals go and just go with the flow. Nanananana( Queens of the Stone Age)
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Nancy, I adore you! We are very much alike in so many ways! I need to set one of my goals in the coming years to visit the Netherlands so we can have some serious girlfriend time together…maybe catch a concert or two, eat some amazing food, go shopping, and chatter away nonstop! I am totally following you on every level. Cheers to the new year and going with the flow!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jacqui Berry
Thanks for sharing on #chicandstylish today. Much appreciate seeing you there. x Jacqui
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks for hosting, Jacqui! Have a great day!
xoxo
Shelbee
mireille
I love your hair braided like that! I am always really in awe with your outfits: you are such a great source of inspiration to create something unexpected. The mix of patterns is really cool and I love the added red with the scarf and boots.
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aw, thanks so much, Mireille! I sometimes feel like my outfits are kind of boring so it is nice to hear that I am creating inspiration for you!
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
Looking very beautiful, so in style. Very nice. All of words are true. I believe that everyday is a great way to reflect on the day and try to make the next better. Just my simple view. It was interesting because I heard from an old friend/co-worker yesterday, he just hit five years of sobriety and he says that I am the only one that knew him from back in the day that takes his calls. He reflected on the stuff that he did back in the day and it was interesting to hear him and I told him that the most important thing is that he looks in the mirror and likes the person he is seeing now.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Patrick, thank you so much! And those are very wise words from you as well. As long as we are happy with ourselves and like what we see when we look in the mirror as well as internally at ourselves, life should be good. Wishing you all the best in the new year!
xoxo
Shelbee
Joanne
I completely agree that a new calendar does not make us magically ready for real change. I do get excited over the idea of making small measurable changes and holding myself accountable but I have learned that it must be something I really WANT to do. This year I’m trying to just set small monthly goals and see how that goes…
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Joanne, thanks so much for reading. I get excited about the idea of making changes as well and whatever prompts that is a good thing. I wish you all the best in setting and keeping your small measurable goals. Any progress is good progress, right? Happy new year!
xoxo
Shelbee
Suzy Turner
I used to make New Year’s Resolutions all the time when I was younger but I’ve realised I should just try to be the best I can be all the time, right? I love your coat, Shelbee, It looks fabulous, and your photos are divine!
Hugs
Suzy xx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Suzy! I am right with you on that sentiment…we should just try to be our best selves every day of every year! This coat is one of my favorites, too. I have it in red plaid as well.
xoxo
Shelbee
Maureen
What a beautiful outfit Shelbee. I love how all the patterns just work and complement each other. You are a pattern mixing queen! I can’t believe that a decade has ended and I am really not sure how I feel about it. In a way, these last few months felt like they were in such a rush that I am actually sad the year is over. I felt like I didn’t get to absorb it as much as I could. This year moving forward I hope to be more intentional and mindful. I hope the start of the new year has been treating you well and happy Friday!
Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Maureen! Once I got the hang of pattern mixing, I like to challenge myself to see how many patterns I can combine in one outfit without looking like a clown! I hear you about the past year. It really did fly by. And while I enjoyed many wonderful moments and focused on being in the moments, there is much that just whirled past me and a lot of time that I wasted. I also need to be more intentional and purposeful this coming year.
xoxo
Shelbee
Paula Holloway
I don’t make resolutions or set major goals either Shelbee and feel fabulous being one of the under-achievers in the world. 😉 But let me tell you this, you may make mistakes and float around like the feather in Forest Gump, but you look ADORABLE doing it. 😉
Hugs & Happiness to you in this new year!
Paula
http://www.dimplesonmywhat.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aw, Paula, thank you so much! You made me giggle out loud. That might be the best compliment I have received in quite some time! And I love the image of the Forrest Gump floating feather. That is quite what I feel like these days. Wishing you all the best in the new year!
xoxo
Shelbee
Suzane
What fun styling of some amazing pieces! You truly are the master of pattern mixing and I love this look on you. Thank you for linking up with #StylishMonday and Happy New Year!
xx
Suzanne
http://www.AskSuzanneBell.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Suzanne, thanks so much! I do love to get creative with patterns! Have a happy new year!
xoxo
Shelbee
Barbara Chapman
I love your outfit, Shelbee!!! I agree, I don’t make resolutions anymore. I kinda like the whole word-thing for a year but I’d never follow it all the way through. My intention lately is to set goals and work towards them. This is working for me as I have always been the fly-by-the-pants kid and float-through-life kid. I bet you will find that setting small goals to do for: 1) today’s goals, 2) this week’s goals, 3) this time while I am off from work. I do like your “Reinvention” as a word. 🙂
Happy to feature your post this week at Share Your Style #238,
Big New Year hugs,
Barb 🙂
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Barb! Last year I went for the think small to go big idea…like taking baby steps to get to the bigger goal. I took lots of baby steps but only reached baby goals! Haha. I am like you…I fly by the seat of my pants all the time and float through life. Too many goals intimidate me and set me off my game. Kind of strange, I guess. Thanks so much for the feature, too. I will be over to check it out! Have a great weekend.
xoxo
Shelbee
jess jannenga
First, I am planning to titrate off a medication and am a bit nervous as I dont seem to do well with withdrawel, but it is a goal. ( Hoping to have more energy as a result). I also hope to try some new things with the blog, try swimming.. things like that in the New YEar.
I love that coat on you, the plaid is fabulous and I love the cut of it and the longer length. The fur color and wrist gives it a vintage vibe. Looks wonderful with your outfit!
thanks for linking!
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Jess! I have this coat in red plaid as well because I loved it so much that I had to have it both colors! I have titrated off medications before and it is no joke, so I wish you so much luck and ease with the process. Swimming is such a great way to exercise with no impact on your body. I hope that you enjoy it and find it beneficial. Wishing you all the best with your new year’s goals!
xoxo
Shelbee
Mica
What a fun tartan coat! it looks so good on you 🙂
Before we had kids hubby and I would welcome in the new year and talk about our goals for the year – haven’t done that in a while as life with two kids under 5 is too exhausting to contemplate staying up late, haha! But I have the same goal I did last year, once again I want to try spend less. It’s worked for me for a few years so I’m sticking with it – I’m eager to see how low my spending can actually go!
Hope that you had a great weekend 🙂 Thanks so much for joining the #WeekdayWearLinkup! A new link up is live on my blog now, I’d love you to join again.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Mica! I have this coat in red as well because I liked it that much! And kids definitely change the way we do things and approach things! Sometimes, my only goal is just to keep the children alive! Hahaha. I guess as long as I succeed at that, I am winning at life! I wish you all the best in the new year with your spending goals.
xoxo
Shelbee
Barbara Chapman
I love how you put all your outfits together, Shelbee! And I think we’ve already talked about this but thank you for linking up at Share Your Style. I was happy to feature this post at SYS #238 and I know sometimes we talk “off line” but I did want to say thank you again. Many of my clothes are years old and I think that is the nice thing about growing older, our clothes last and last.
Funnily, I recommend NOT wearing a 1990’s April Cornell floral pants out at your crosswalk duties or a creepy man might shout out that you shouldn’t be wearing pj’s to school! Lol!!! 😉
Happy winter hugs,
Barb 🙂
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Barb! I will be over to check out the new post. And thanks so much for the feature. I am truly humbled and grateful. And that creepy man apparently doesn’t understand current fashion trends. Plus, who takes the time to shout nasty remarks at people? I will never understand what compels people to do such things. Seriously, they should keep their silly judgments to themselves. I am sure you looked adorable in your floral pants!
xoxo
Shelbee
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