Welcome to the Quinquagenarian Club & #SpreadTheKindness Link Up On the Edge #707
Yesterday, May 30, 2024, at 7:47 a.m. EST, I became an official member of the Quinquagenarian Club.
Although I am an official member, there isn’t really an official club for quinquagenarians.
Unless you count the AARP. I guess they are actually an official club for people aged 50 and older. But I am not an official member of that club. They do keep inviting me though. Maybe I should consider their invitation.
I celebrated my 50th birthday yesterday quietly at home with Jeff and the boys. There was no fanfare because I am not a big fan of fanfare. Ha.
Being the center of attention makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I do not like it. At all. I never liked it. In my youth, I was forced into situations which put me at the center of attention and I literally hated it more than anything in the world. Then in my young adulthood, I forced myself into situations that put me in the spotlight in an effort to “cure” myself of this seemingly unnatural fear being seeing or heard. This self-induced torture made me hate visibility even more.
When I got married and had my babies, I hated any kind of attention so much that I refused a wedding shower, two baby showers, and any kind of announcements being printed in the newspaper. I simply cannot handle that kind of stuff without withering away into a shaking pile of sweaty incoherent panic. I must apologize to my mother-in-law. I know it broke her heart to not have those celebrations. But having them would have broken my entire being.
It took me about 40 years of living and learning to gain enough clarity to realize that this thing I was trying to cure myself of wasn’t a thing that needed curing at all. What I actually needed was to accept this part of my personality, love it, nurture it, and find a new approach to my creative expression in a place that doesn’t make me so uncomfortable.
So I decided to push myself out of my comfort zone once again when I launched this little space on the internet shortly after my 41st birthday. For the last 9 years, I have been “putting myself out there”, allowing myself to be both seen and heard, but only on my terms and in my own personal safe space. You can look at pictures of me and read my thoughts. But please don’t come any closer. Stay on the other side of the screen. It keeps me safe.
Looking back over the decades I have lived, my 40s were the era when I learned how to lay down some serious boundaries. I also taught myself how to enforce those boundaries with the unwavering strictness of a domineering monarch. I will protect my peace at all costs. Do not cross my boundaries, you might lose your foot. In fact, don’t even try to push my boundaries. They are non-negotiable.
Now at 50, I have finally finished building this very secure and sacred life that is safeguarded by my tediously constructed, super extra fortified, quintuple reinforced boundaries. Safely inside my walls with a half of century’s worth of life experiences, I am literally living my best life ever. My husband and children are my favorite humans on earth. Together we have created a really cool and beautiful thing inside of our walls. Visitors are welcome. Trespassers are not. Happy birthday to me!
Featured Favorites
Reader Favorite: Cheryl of Cheryl Shops
Fashion Favorite: Di of Di-Alog
Other Favorite: Debra of Gma’s Photo
Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
22 Comments
Emma Peach
Happy birthday Shelbee! I hope you a wonderful day. I’m a lot like you I think, I love to retreat to my little space in my own house. I enjoy working, but I also love my own company and just chilling out with my cat. I will join the club in July but don’t have any big plans to celebrate, other than a holiday at some point, although we still haven’t booked anything yet. I will probably work on the morning of my birthday and then relax at home in the afternoon. I love those white boots and your pretty kimono!
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Emma, thanks so much, my friend! And a very happy early birthday to you! We initially were planning a trip to the Netherlands to celebrate my 50th birthday with Nancy but then our chimney repair stole that travel budget! Ha. Then we were going to go on a birthday road trip until the chimney repair became even more expensive. So we stayed home instead, had commissary sushi for lunch, and I am getting a brand new $20,000 chimney for my birthday! LOL Work began yesterday and should be completed in about 2 weeks. I hope you have a lovely weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Sheila (of Ephemera)
Happy 50th, Shelbee! Welcome to the club 💕.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Sheila!
xoxo
Shelbee
Esme Slabbert
Thanks for hosting, Shelbee, and having me over weekly.
My entries are numbered #13+14
Please join and share your posts with us https://esmesalon.com/tag/seniorsalonpitstop/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Esme! Have a wonderful weekend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Marsha Banks
Happy, happy birthday! I love this post because you are so attuned to yourself. It took me far more years than 50 to figure all these things out. You look glorious as you join the quinquagenarian club! Thanks, my friend, for the link up!
https://marshainthemiddle.com/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aww, Marsha, thank you so very much, my friend! I am still figuring things out, but I do approach every experience as a learning and growing opportunity. It seems like the whole damn world has lost its mind so I have to keep myself adequately armed with as much as knowledge as possible if I am to have any hope of making it another 50 years!
xoxo
Shelbee
Gail
Belated happy birthday Shelbee. Here’s to another 50 healthy and happy years!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Gail! I do hope to live another 50!
xoxo
Shelbee
Nancy
Happy birthday my dear friend!! And many more happy years for you with your loved ones. I was in bed yesterdayand suddenly I said to Gerben: oh my god, its Michele’s birthday! And I forgot to send her a message! But I did think of you…… lol
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, my dear friend! I appreciate and love you!
xoxo
Shelbee
Amy Johnson
Happy 50th birthday! Those AARP mailers get really annoying. Warning: they neve stop! I am so surprised by this post as I would never have guessed this to be your personality based on your clothing style and post topics. So interesting.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Amy! I really appreciate that. I have looked into some of the benefits offered by the AARP but they are almost identical to the benefits we receive as a retired military family. And you can’t double up on those same benefits so I’ll just keep using my military id for my discounts. I hope you have a most wonderful weekend, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
First off Happy Birthday! Just good wishes from a friend. No fanfare, I promise.
I can’t tell you how much I relate to building your safe space. I, too, tried to push myself outside of my comfort zone on occasion. I will say that I learned something each time, but one of the most important things I learned is that I’m fine as I am. And now, I’m introverted and happy in my safe space with Dan and my mom.
Super cute outfit, my friend!
xoxo
Michelle
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, thank you, thank you, my friend! I am so happy to have friends like you who can relate to my introverted side. And I am so grateful that you invite me into your introverted life to share our experiences. I appreciate you more than you know! And yes, we are both totally fine as we are. Nothing here that needs curing. I only need my safe space. Love you!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
I love you too! And am so honored that you let me share time in your introverted life.
xoxo
Michelle
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I wanted to put a smiley face here but I don’t know how to do that from my laptop! LOL I am so grateful for our friendship!
xoxo
Shelbee
Aletha Oglesby
Happy birthday, Shelbee!! You have been alive as long as I have been married, lol. We celebrated simply, just the two of us, visiting the college town where we met.
Like you, I do not like being the center of attention, so it suited me fine. My husband posted a message about us on Facebook which garnered an insane number of responses, I can handle that.
Here’s wishing both of us another 50 (well, at least you)
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aletha, thank you so much! Fifty years of marriage is definitely something to be celebrated! Happy A-Day to you and your spouse! I love that you celebrated the day quietly in the town where you met. I don’t think my husband and I will ever want to go back and visit the seedy little dive bar where we met! Hahahahaha. That is just not our scene anymore. But we do enjoy a visit to the town where we began our happy little family. I hope you are having a lovely weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
Again, Happy Birthday and hoping it was a good one. Hope that you have a wonderful 50th year and many more. Welcome to the club. Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful week.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Patrick! I did have a lovely day and am looking forward to many more birthday celebrations!
xoxo
Shelbee