“To Thine Own Self Be True” & #SpreadTheKindness Link Up #194
“To thine own self be true.”
William Shakespeare
Dee of Grammy’s Grid recently shared a post discussing the meaning behind this age old adage. In fact, that post was the most clicked from last week’s link party and is featured below. Her analysis of this quote as well as how its meaning has evolved over the past 400 years inspired me to dive a little deeper into this topic from my own personal perspective. But before I do, click over and give Dee’s post a quick read.
She poses a few questions to contemplate on a personal level. These are Dee’s questions verbatim and I am going to do my best to answer them how they apply to me.
What does “being yourself” really mean?
I think before anyone can even begin to answer this question as well as the questions that follow, you have to know who you really are. And that can take a lifetime. Knowing who we are is also a bit like relying on the weather forecast 10 days in the future. So many things can change in a relatively short period of time. Once we can ascertain even just a tiny bit of who we really are, then we can focus on being ourselves.
So what does that mean anyway? I guess it means being true to your own values, your own taste and style, your own passions and interests. It means not compromising these things for the sake of pleasing other people. It means making your best efforts to live your happiest life. Living a happy life is so beneficial not only to the person living it but to the people around that person because happiness is contagious. So you owe it not only to yourself, but to your loved ones, to live your happiest life. And the key to that kind of happiness starts with knowing who you are and being true to your genuine self.
How well do you know yourself? Do you really know the real you?
After 46 years of living, I can say that I know myself pretty well in a lot of areas. Yet there are still parts of me that I struggle to understand. I am a very introspective person and I am not afraid of doing the hard work to figure out how I can be the very best version of myself.
I know that I crave structure but I am flexible when necessary. I know that staying up all night is a major bipolar trigger. I know that I don’t always fit in but have grown to appreciate standing out. I know that I am kind and generous and caring and full of love. But like everyone, I have my moments when I am quite the opposite…unkind, selfish, and ornery.
I know that I have much patience with people and less patience with technology. I know that my patience has its limits and once they are reached, I am quite finished. I know that I can be the chattiest of social butterflies one day followed by weeks of reclusive withdrawal that is often accompanied by irritability. An introverted extrovert I am. Or maybe it’s the opposite, an extroverted introvert. I’m not sure. But I know that deep in my core, I am absolutely introverted. I have simply spent my lifetime trying to undo that fact.
I know that I am awkward and weird and quirky and goofy and I have become really quite okay with those qualities. Plus my 9 year old is always reminding me that his favorite thing about me being his mom is how incredibly weird I am. I love that kid for validating his momma that way. And that alone lets me know that maybe I am not such a bad mom after all.
I know that I question my parenting abilities every hour of every day. But I also know that none of us know what the heck we are doing. Human beings are quite impossible to control, aren’t they? Even the tiniest human beings.
I know that I can fake confidence like a pro and that I question myself every freaking step of the way. I know that imposter syndrome will haunt me until the day I die. I know that when I get hit in my most vulnerable places, it can nearly destroy me but I also know that it never will. Because I know how very strong I am and how much I can withstand. And despite my constant self deprecation, I know that I am and always will be a fighter and a survivor.
I could go on and on, but I think I have made my point. There is a lot of stuff I know about myself. But there is still so much to learn.
Are you the person you want to be or the person others want you to be?
Oh, this is a loaded question. I lived that life once when I tried to be the person others expected me to be. It wasn’t good. It ended rather badly, actually. I took extreme measures to change myself in the context of my first marriage at the very young age of 23. I changed my religion, the way I dressed, the way I spoke, my friends, and my career path all in the interest of pleasing other people.
It doesn’t work. You can’t do it. Well, maybe you can. But you probably shouldn’t. Because it was a rather miserable and lonely existence for 7 years of my life. I suppose the loneliest place ever is when you completely lose yourself. If you can’t rely on your own authentic self, who do you have then?
Thankfully, I found my way back to me and have vowed to never compromise myself for another human being ever again. So, I guess my answer is that I am way more the person I want to be than I am a person that someone else wants me to be.
Are you easily influenced by other people? Do you live your life as others wish or are others influencing you?
Similar to the previous question, I do live my life as I wish within certain limitations. When I talk about limitations though, it is merely a reference to the current stage of my life. For example, I would love to travel more, but budgets and young children prohibit that right now. But as far as my personal authenticity goes, I am actually very difficult to influence!
I think a lot. About a lot of things. And through this constant stream of thoughtfulness and talking to myself, my opinions tend to develop into rather concrete objects. But like concrete, they can still be smashed and I am always willing to entertain a challenge. As long as it is respectful and kind. I always reserve the right to change my opinion. And when presented with thoughtful and educated reasons to sway my opinions, I will happily examine all the angles.
Are you the real you all of the time? Truthfully, do you ever act a certain way that’s not really you? Do you put on an act in front of certain people?
I think I am pretty much the real me all of the time. It is just too exhausting to be something else. And I no longer feel the necessity to apologize for myself or my seemingly bad behaviors. Because frankly, even “bad behaviors” are open to interpretation. But I will admit that every once in a while, I find myself in a group of people where I am uncomfortable as myself. Rather than try to be what is expected, I generally will retreat and become very quiet until I can leave the situation. And then I just don’t frequent those circles again where I feel uncomfortable being myself.
Can you truly be yourself? And again, what does “being yourself” really mean?
Yes, you absolutely can truly be yourself. But first you have to know yourself. And you have to be willing to forgive yourself as you move through life. We all make mistakes, we all fall down, we all do dumb shit, and we are all just humans. Broken, imperfect, ridiculous, silly humans just trying to figure out this crazy, crazy existence.
But now the bigger question I have is why do people expect others to fit some predetermined mold of humanness? There isn’t a mold. And the beauty of it is how perfectly unique and different we are all from each other. So why is it so difficult to be true to ourselves?
Featured Favorites
Reader Favorite (Most Clicked)
Dee of Grammy’s Grid shared a very inspiring post, To Thine Own Self Be True, that apparently many of us needed to read based on the number of clicks! And it obviously motivated me to write this post. Thanks for inspiring us all, Dee!
Fashion Favorite
Gail of Is This Mutton? shared one of my favorite outfits ever in her post, Faux Leather Leggings with Mint Green. However, she expressed concern that maybe the outfit is too youthful, but I disagree completely. I think she looks absolutely amazing and I am dying over her mint green beret and green snakeskin booties! These colors and textures together are so very striking, too.
Non-Fashion Favorite
Julia of JuliaLeighF Fine Art shared her post, Fifty Shades of Gray – or, How I Got My Color Back. Julia is a friend of mine in Northern New York who shares her fine art pieces on her blog and I am so pleased that she joined my link party last week. I love this oil painting in grays and it was really interesting to read about Julia’s process. To see more of Julia’s art, just hop on over to her blog!
Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Parties.
Shop my look…
Outfit Details: Sweater-Torrid / White Button Down-Foxcroft / Pants-Burlington Coat Factory / Boots-DSW / Beret-TJ Maxx / Clutch-Thrifted / Necklace and Earrings-Really old
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
60 Comments
Laurie
I sometimes wonder who the hell I am! This morning I’ve woken super excited, feeling lucky to have what I have and what I’ve achieved. Tomorrow I could be worrying about what I don’t have, how I look like and feel insecure! I’m like a yoyo! xx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Laurie, I am right there with you! I know a lot about myself but I still surprise myself, too. And the mood swings these days…they are awful. But at least you know you’re like a yo-yo! That’s a step in the right direction to knowing yourself better! Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
xoxo
Shelbee
Tamar A Strauss-Benjamin
I feel like I know myself but need to be prouder about it!
Rock those leggings!!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Tamar! And yes, you should be completely proud about finding yourself, knowing yourself, and remaining true to yourself!
xoxo
Shelbee
Deborah Stinedurf
I love this post! First of all, I adore where you took the photos…love the whole abandoned property vibe. And I am so into the whole introspection, getting to know your real self thing. I think it’s an ever-evolving process. We are always (or ideally should be) growing & changing and thus we are always getting to know ourselves. I think the core of who we are (our values, beliefs, moral code, etc) stays pretty static, but all of the extras built around that core improve with time assuming we make the effort towards growth. xo
Debbie
http://www.fashionfairydust.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Debbie, thanks so much, my friend! This abandoned property is one of my favorite places for photographs. And each time I go there, it is more dilapidated than the last, which is super cool to me! And I agree completely that learning who we are is a lifelong process. I don’t think we should ever stop growing as humans and I reserve the right to change my mind at all times. Because you never know when a life experience will significantly alter your values, beliefs, moral code, and such. And while our values tend to remain fairly static throughout our lives, I still think they are subject to change based on experience and maturity and wisdom gained. But yes, always heading towards growth is the goal!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kellyann Rohr
Great outfit Shelbee! Every time you share bits of yourself I feel myself nodding in agreement. I feel the same way about so many things, from my parenting abilities to confidence. I think this makes us such interesting people with so much insight and compassion as well as pretty great parents. Our kids see us for who we are and in so many ways it allows them to be themselves too!
xo,
Kellyann
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Kellyann, thank you so much for this wonderful comment! I agree with you completely that sharing our vulnerabilities which is really the truest part of our realities is where so many people find meaningful connection. It is such a strange thing to me how difficult it can be sometimes to be truly ourselves. It is that damn fear of judgment that gets us every time!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kathrine Eldridge
What an insightful post Shelbee! Being myself means turning inward which isn’t always fun. My true self is the one God created me as and I’m trying with His help to get back there. It’s hard because we create so much with our ego that’s not true or real. I might have to journal about this later. Love this cool look and thanks for the link up!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.cm
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Kathrine, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this topic. Turning inward is some of the hardest work we can do for ourselves, but the results are so worth the work. I think it is a great journaling topic, for sure!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jed Jurchenko
Hey Shelbee. I love the photo backgrounds, and I’m a little jealous of your weather. Right now, in MN, we are blanked in snow. In the photos, it looks like you all still have a hint of Autumn color. I love this question, “Are you the person you want to be or the person others want you to be?” It’s so good and something I want our teen and pre-teens to think about.
Thanks for some great thoughts and an amazing link-up. Wishing you a fantastic Tuesday!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jed, thanks so much! It has been raining nonstop here for days, probably weeks, which is making the leaves fall faster. Almost all the trees are bare now and we will be buried in snow before you know it. Actually, I think we have snow in the forecast for Friday. I loved investigating this topic of authenticity as well. And it is something that I try to talk to my kids about as well. It is so important in this crazy world to be true to ourselves.I hope you are staying warm in all that snow!
xoxo
Shelbee
Nancy
Interesting read! And what a great pair of leggings! I always think that by the time we die, we are the person who we always wanted to be….the irony!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Nancy! I definitely think it takes us a lifetime to become who we want to be or at least to know who we are. And there really is so much irony in death!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jill
I think I know myself pretty well but also know that we are constantly evolving and what I know one day could change the next. I’m a people pleaser so being the person we want to be versus who others want you to be is one I’m going to have to think about! Such a pretty setting for your photos! Love your pants!
Jill – Doused in Pink
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jill, thanks so much for joining the discussion! I am a people pleaser as well, but I have learned to let a lot of that go and these days, “No, thanks” rolls off my lips a lot easier. But I think we can please others and still remain true to ourselves. I guess it is just making sure that the people whom we care to please our worth our efforts!
xoxo
Shelbee
Dee | Grammy's Grid
WOW, Shelbee!! You really ROCKED it with this post by answering all those questions I asked in my post!! Now I feel like I should go back and answer them myself. Thanks so much for hosting and for featuring that particular post of mine – TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE! I’m linking up with WOULD YOU RATHER See Trump or Biden Win the Election? I Won’t Judge Your Answer!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Dee, thank you so much! I am so glad that you enjoyed my answers. I started typing them out and I got really into it! I didn’t even realize how much I had written until I was done. See…I need to follow your writing prompts now! And yet, I keep dragging my feet on that one. Ugh. Maybe I will figure out that part of myself one day! And I will definitely comment on your Would You Rather post. Most people don’t like my answers to political questions at all so I kind of got over caring if I am judged on that topic!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jennifer
I think I know myself fairly well but I know there are parts of me I am still trying to figure out. Guess that’s just life and us evolving as we get older. Love those pants btw.
Jennifer
Curated By Jennifer
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jennifer, thanks so much for joining the discussion! I feel like every time I think I know myself thoroughly, I surprise myself with some new kind of crazy! Haha.
xoxo
Shelbee
Niky
A very powerful post, Shelbee! It’s hard to be ourselves in a world that has so many “standards” for how we should be, look, act…. But I also realized that finding my own identity and staying aligned to it truly makes a difference in my state of mind. Thanks for this thought-provoking post.
Also, you always find the BEST places for photo shoots. I found myself looking at all the details of that old building behind you as much as your fun outfit!
-Niky @ The House on Silverado
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Niky, thank you so much for this insightful comment! I am very much the same as you, once I was able to find my identity and stay true to myself, my entire life improved greatly. There is no misery quite like the misery of fighting so hard to be someone you are not. Exhausting and fruitless work, indeed. Now about the background….this is one of my favorite photo spots in my town. I visit it for photos a few times a year and each time it is more broken down than the time before. My husband and I call places like this “ruin porn” because we just find so much beauty and interest in the destruction. I keep wanting to go inside the building, but husband won’t allow it! He says it is too dangerous. And I guess he’s probably right. Oh well.
xoxo
Shelbee
mireille
That is one thing I know about you: you are being you: we may not see eye to eye on a number of things but through your blog and you sharing of yourself, I can tell what kind of person you are: you are a giving and compassionate person and you are always growing. I think we would be friend IRL! I think we all need to take time to thing about who we are and how we are that person. I do that sometimes but probably not in such an introperspective way.
Love those leggings on you! Very fun!
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Mireille, thank you so much for this wonderful comment. And it is people like you who I am so glad to have in my circle. Such a great quality about you is your willingness to accept people for who they are without judgment and your ability to see past the things you disagree with and still see a kind and compassionate person there. In fact, I don’t really want my entire circle of friends to consist of people who agree with everything I say and do. That does not give us space to grow. It is the friends who disagree with us, challenge us, and offer a variety of thoughts and opinions to force us to see other perspectives. There are so many educated and colorful and brilliant opinions out there that we cannot simply say that only our thoughts and beliefs are the correct ones. I agree…we would be friends IRL and we would have some pretty fascinating discussions, too, I’m sure!
xoxo
Shelbee
Gail
I’m very happy to be your fashion favourite! Thank you Shelbee! Thought provoking post – particularly your last question about why people expect others to conform to some predetermined model of humanity. I know people with Asperger’s often wonder this – they wouldn’t change the way they are, they have super powers that most of us don’t have, and why should they have to conform to our narrower reality?
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Gail, thanks so much for this thoughtful response to the question. Our culture and society really does like to force us all into little compartmentalized boxes. It’s infuriating.It is no wonder that mental health issues permeate our entire species. And I totally agree with that information about Asperger’s. Also, it was my pleasure to feature you! I need to find a sweater in that color. Oooh, actually I might have one!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jessica A Jannenga
Neat background ! This was a great post, and I think the great thing about getting older is that you learn so much about yourself. As I was reading, I was thinking we have alot in common. I am also the type that can talk talk talk one day and then want to be quiet the next. It is too much energy to not be yourself and to try and please other people. Love your green striped pants, the clutch and the look altogether.
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jess, thanks so much! I am really loving the comments on this post. Authenticity is such an admirable quality that society preaches, but then it turns around and criticizes all of your imperfections when you try to be genuine. I think age is the one thing that saves us from that doom for eternity. Eventually we learn and know better than to compromise ourselves for the sake of others. And this run down location is one of favorite ruin porn sites in town!
xoxo
Shelbee
Nora Minassian
Thank you Shelbee for always putting so much of yourself out there and bringing up these interesting topics and questions. I like to think that I am always working on myself to get better, I am a work in progress lol. Love the “LOVE” sweatshirt and as always your surrounding area is so pretty.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Nora, thank you so very much! When I start getting all deep in my writing like that, I almost forget that I am sharing it with the world as soon as I hit publish! I am glad that it resonates with people. And I think we are all works in progress. We can’t stop evolving or else things get too stagnant!
xoxo
Shelbee
Christina Morley
Oh, I love those stripes! Now I want a pair of stripy pants. The setting is fabulous. Thanks for hosting!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Tina! I could not resist these pants when I first saw them and they were only around $10! And this is one of my favorite photoshoot locations!
xoxo
Shelbee
Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom
Such a great sweater, we need to love ourselves and the world we live in… even though both are never going to be perfect. I love the fun green pants. I feel some days I really know myself and other days I struggle. I think sometimes if I’m having a rough day, I know now in my 40’s that it is just a day and many good ones will follow after!! This year has been challenging for me as I am a planner and I like to know what to expect.
Carrie
curlycraftymom.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Carrie, thanks so much for the lovely compliment and the very insightful response to the topic. I have definitely felt a shift in my 40’s when it comes to those bad days. Even in my darkest moments now that would have been fairly dangerous to me 20 years ago, I have the perspective that everything passes and fades into the next thing. The cycle continues. We cannot give it all up so easily over a bad time. I also like to plan things and the current state of the world has really amplified my underlying issues! But we will all get through this!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
Fabulous, fabulous post! As I began reading, it was my intent to answer the same questions in a comment. But then, I realized my response would be post length. So, I’ll just write my own post on the subject! LOL! I will say, that I think the most harmful thing that can be done to a child is to indoctrinate them to a set of beliefs before they even have the chance to find out who they are in life. We see this with religion sometimes, but also with parents who demand their children follow in their footsteps in terms of career – whether it’s “I’m a doctor so you must be one too,” (I knew of a case like this), or “I expect you to take over the family business.” The artists among us are the most often damaged by these expectations and demands. I’m sure there are many other examples, but these are the two with which I am most familiar.
Also? I totally love your striped leggings / skinny jeans. Fabulous!
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Michelle, thanks so much! I can’t wait to read your post on this topic! And it’s funny because my parents never pressured me into much. They always encouraged me to be myself and follow my passions. And while I am not complaining about that type of upbringing, I will say that it has definitely contributed to my lackadaisical ways of flitting through life with no direction! Sitting here at 46 years still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. But yes, I agree completely that children need to be exposed to a variety of philosophies so they can make their own decisions. For example, we are not at all church goers, but you knew that already. However, I did insist that my kids attend the weekly after school Good News Club that was run by a local church. It was one hour a week for 6 weeks and introduced them to Christianity. I don’t want them to be ignorant of it just because I don’t follow it. And I also thought it would be good exposure for them. They enjoyed it for 2 weeks and then hated it. I made them finish the 6 weeks and then did not make them sign up in subsequent years. While my parents were rather easy going, my mother did force church on us. She was so proud when I minored in Religious Studies in college and then equally disappointed when the academic approach to religions made me even less religious! Oh well. This was a fun discussion!
xoxo
Shelbee
Christine Besen
I have the same beret Shelbee! You look so chic!
Mood swings are normal given these uncertain times….we just need to keep the flame going for better days ahead!
Xoxo,
Christine
https://bonchicstyle.com/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Christine! I was unsure of this beret with the “oui oui” on it, but I have grown to love it! And yes, these current times are adding lots of extra stress for everyone. It is definitely taking a bigger toll than many of us know who those with underlying mental health conditions. But prevail we must!
xoxo
Shelbee
Ashley
You are such a gem, Shelbee! And I love this message. Authenticity is everything! (And so are those leggings.)
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Ashley, thanks so much! You are so sweet! This was a fun topic to explore. And I can’t believe I have owned these pants for at least a year, maybe longer, and this is the first I have worn them. They still had the tags on!
xoxo
Shelbee
Joanne
Ok first off; I just LOVE your outfit. It looks amazing on you. Secondly I love this post! I think I too have learned to be more “me” as I’ve aged. Partly because I’ve learned more and more about me but also because I really just started to care less and less about what others thought of me. I often think it can be a maturity thing though one thing my husband and I have noticed is that with homeschooling our boys are much less likely to even think about conforming to fit in with a group. They revel in being weird and different and true to themselves and I just love that. I can’t imagine being like that at their ages!!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Joanne, thank you so much for this wonderful comment! This topic is such an interesting one and the comments have been fascinating. You know, my kids are quite the same way. They have no desire to change who they are and they completely relish in their own weirdness. I hope they never lose that and I guess it’s up to me to make sure I am giving the message to remain true their own characters. I was a total weirdo as a kid (I guess I probably still am a total weirdo) and my mother always guided me to embrace that as well. It is easy to stay true to yourself as a kid with the support of your adult people but eventually your peers take over and that is the beginning of our downfall, I think! Then we spend the next 30 years after that trying to get back to our true selves. Such a strange system of progress for humans. But humans might be the strangest creatures of all in the entire animal kingdom!
xoxo
Shelbee
Cheryl Shops
This was a very thought-provoking post! I definitely feel more true to myself and more sure of myself the older I get, however I learn new stuff about myself all the time. I do think that people change; maybe that’s the thing they call wisdom? 😉
Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Cheryl, thanks so much for sharing your insightful thoughts on the topic! I think people change as well. It is all part of growth and evolution. And you are right, personal growth does beget wisdom, I believe. Can you imagine if we were born with all the wisdom of the universe? Maybe we are and we just become dumber instead of wiser as we grow older but we have it all confused?! It’s like a giant practical joke on the human species. Haha.
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
Looking so very stylish.
I truly believe that we have created a culture for people not to be true to their true selves because it means money for the corporations. The corporations have a lot of money invested in marketing to make you feel bad if you don’t have the right look or whatever that they have planned out for you. Accidents in style or whatever are not allowed in this society because it will cost someone money.
I always say “You were born an original, so why die a copy”, people hate that saying I have. My simple baby brain will leave you with a part of one of my favorite poems “Man in the Glass”:
“Whose judgment upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.”
Something I truly believe in as I have been done in getting others verdicts about me.
Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful rest of the week.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Patrick, thank you so much for sharing your perspective on this fascinating topic. These comments are all so great! I recently watched a show called The Science of Stupid and one of the episodes was doing an experiment on conformity in humans. But before the experiment, the show talked about how conformity in other animal species is often necessary for survival so there is a philosophy that people conforming is a natural instinct on some level. So I feel society and culture, while they often prevent us from being non-conformists, it is the same society and culture that has also given us the freedom to not conform. Of course, not conforming still has risks involved, but maybe not quite as life threatening as it once was. Progress is slow and takes a very long time! And that can be frustrating for those of us who find ourselves a bit ahead of the curve.
xoxo
Shelbee
Laura Bambrick
What a great post Shelbee! And I think the sweater you chose was so appropriate to the theme of the post too! I constantly question myself in all aspects of life. It’s kind of comforting to hear I’m not the only one-especially the whole parenting thing! These past few months have been hard having the kids 24/7!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Laura, thanks so much! I am so glad that people are relating so well to the topic of this post. It definitely helps me to not feel so alone! And I hear you on the 24/7 kid time. I am so exhausted with all of it. I actually have made the decision to spend Thanksgiving alone while my husband and boys go on a hunting trip with family. I am literally giddy with excitement to have 6 straight days alone in my house with no one asking me for things and no one relying on me for survival!
xoxo
Shelbee
Darlene
These are all such great questions to ponder, Shelbee. Thanks for highlighting Dee’s post. It’s a good one for all of us to read and think about. I especially think it’s important to consider the question relating to are we who we want to be or what someone else wants us to be. It seems to epitomize the theme “To Thine Own Self Be True.” Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic.
xx Darlene
Oh, and your outfit is SOOOO cute! I love those pants and the whole look is styled really well. And those photos of fall in Upstate New York are gorgeous!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Darlene, thank you so much! This was an interesting topic to tackle and once I got into it, I couldn’t stop writing! I am really enjoying the comments on this post, too. Lots of great insight and personal perspectives on the idea of being true to ourselves. And fall in northern New York is so beautiful but it has been raining and raining and raining so all the beautiful leaves are now just soggy piles on the ground. Soon we will blanketed in snow!
xoxo
Shelbee
Cindy Handy
LOVE your boots! and you look so cute in the whole outfit, especially the beret! … I’ve already had enough winter, since it was in the 40s & rainy in Dallas ~ so we’re off to our favorite resort between Cancun & Tulum tomorrow morning. It may be rainy there too, but at least it’s in the 80’s!! … I’ll be back next week to stalk you! Stay safe!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Cindy! It was snowing in northern NY yesterday and I don’t think we will see too many days over 50 degrees now until May. It has been so cold and rainy here as well. It does not help with mood disorders. Haha. I hope you have the best trip! Safe travels, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Lovely
This post had me thinking how well I know myself. Very interesting read and a great outfit.
xoxo
Lovely
http://www.mynameislovely.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Lovely! I do like to get people thinking, that’s for sure! Have a fantastic day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Lisa DeArmas
Let me start with those pants…love!! They are so fun! Secondly you are so right. As I have gotten older I have figured out who I am and stopped trying to be what everyone wanted me to be. By doing this I feel more free, happier and so much better in my own skin. I only wish I had figured it out sooner…
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Lisa, thanks so much! Age definitely gives us the benefit of wisdom which helps us to feel more confident in our own skin. And I, too, wish I had figured it out sooner. But at least we figured it out. I think some people might go through life and never get to that point!
xoxo
Shelbee
Lucy Bertoldi
Another excellent post Shelbee- making me ponder like usual- love ya Babe xx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Lucy! I do like to make people ponder things! Love ya back!
xoxo
Shelbee
Julia Foy
*gasp* I’m so honored to be featured!
I almost wrote my first blog post about authenticity. It’s something that I’ve really been grappling with the last few years. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it I think.
It’s amazing how, when you spend a good period of time trying to be what others want you to be, you start to lose yourself. I’m so glad that you’re able to be yourself now! What you said about your son is similar to how I feel about my daughter. It’s so refreshing to be able to be weird around someone who not only loves your weirdness, but imitates it a little bit too!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Julia, thanks so much! It was my pleasure to feature your post. Authenticity is one of those concepts that can be a bit bewildering, I think. You see the messages everywhere…Be Authentic, Be Genuine, Be Yourself, Stay True to You. But then when you actually do those things, there is an entirely separate segment of society that is like, “What the heck are you doing, you freak? Why can’t you just be normal?” Honestly, now that I am in my 40’s, I have been much more comfortable with sharing who I am, but the more I share, the more I tend to retreat from the judging eyes. So while being authentic feels great, it does often leave me feeling kind of lonely, too. But I wouldn’t change it. Actually, I don’t think I could change it at this point. I’ll just sit here in the safety of home and be me! I hope you are well, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee