‘Tis the Season to be Mindful (with Zaful)

November 25, 2017 / 26 Comments

People have a tendency to get a little crazy during the holiday season. Whether it is stress over money or gift buying, attending or hosting holiday events, relationship or family issues, or cramming in work obligations with year end deadlines, problems just seem more amplified at this time of year. And as a result, people get harried and oftentimes quite nasty with one another.

*This is a sponsored post. This top was provided to me. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

“Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.” -Pearl Strachan Hurd

I have been seeing a lot in blogland over the past few months about women verbally attacking other women in the cruelest of ways. I am not even talking about internet trolls in this case. I am talking about real women, women who write blogs, women who own small businesses, women in our communities, who are just getting mean with one another. It sometimes feels like I am in high school again. Actually, more like middle school. I don’t even think the girls in high school were this bad.

“Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble.” -Yehuda Berg

*Top: Ruffles Lace Up Plus Size Top c/o Zaful. Check out the amazing Black Friday/Cyber Monday Deals at Zaful.

Without giving examples…because sadly there are too many to give…I just want to share with you where I stand on all of this and how I react to negative comments made to me or about me. I firmly believe in the statement “What other people say about me is none of my business.” Good, bad, or indifferent. If you are talking about me in a forum where I do not know what you are saying, it is none of my business. And as such, I don’t even think twice about it.

“Be mindful when it comes to your words. A string of some that don’t mean much to you, may stick with someone else for a lifetime.” -Rachel Wolchin

On the same note, if what you are saying about me is negative and unkind and downright awful, that has nothing to do with me either.  It has absolutely everything to do with you and where you are in your process of self-evolution. You see, I’ve been working on myself for years to be the best possible version of me. And I continue to do that work daily. If you take such serious issue with me that you are compelled to spew hatred about me or to me, it’s not really my issue at all. It’s yours.

“Words are free. It’s how you use them that may cost you.” -Kushand Wizdom

I am willing to accept people right where they stand in life, right now in the moment when I encounter them. Individuals who have not found peace within themselves will often project all sorts of negativity out into the world. If you become the target of that negativity, just be aware that the struggle is not yours. It is that person’s journey and hopefully they will eventually reach a place of self-love. Once self-love is achieved, there really is no room for hatred and negativity anymore.  But each person operates on their own individual timeline.  It is not for us to decide how far and how fast another person evolves.

“Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.” -Pearl Strachan Hurd

You see, if I am verbally attacked, which I have been, I recognize that the problem belongs to the attacker not to me. I will meet that person right where they stand in such darkness and offer a glimmer of light. And I can’t offer light if I lash back in a negative way. I can only pour positivity into the world if I exhibit a genuine sense of self-love.

“The tongue has no bones, but is strong enough to break a heart. So be careful with your words.” -Unknown

But like anybody else, I do have my limits. And I can be pushed to them. While I do my best to respond to any and all negativity with a positive attitude, I am flawed and I can falter. And when I falter, I can be just as nasty as the nastiest person out there. It doesn’t happen often. It has maybe happened 5 times in my life where I have been pushed to the point where I have delivered a verbal attack on a person that has permanently and forever ended the relationship.

“Be careful what you say. You can say something hurtful in ten seconds, but ten years later, the wounds are still there.” -Joel Osteen

So while I don’t necessarily condone fighting negativity with negativity, sometimes it is necessary. There are consequences to our actions. Everyone one of them, in fact. Just because I choose to meet negativity with as much positivity as I can muster, not everyone chooses to take this approach. I am not judging that type of response at all. It is a natural human reaction. So if you choose to say horrible things about other people, be prepared for an equal counter-attack. In fact, be prepared for a counter-attack that could destroy you. Because everyone has a mean streak and everyone has their limits. And when limits are reached, beware.

“Words are seeds that do more than blow around. They land in our hearts and not the ground. Be careful what you plant and careful what you say. You might have to eat what you planted one day.” -Unknown

So all I want you take from this post is this…be mindful of what you say, where you say it, and to whom you say it. Words are like weapons and they can cause much damage. If you choose to use your words in this way, be prepared for any number of outcomes. Only you are responsible for what you say. You cannot control the reactions of others. And there are always consequences.

“If we understood the power of our thoughts, we would guard them more closely. If we understood the awesome power of our words, we would prefer silence to almost anything negative. In our thoughts and words, we create our own weaknesses and our own strengths. Our limitations and joys begin in our hearts. We can always replace negative with positive.” -Betty Eadie

And now with the holidays here, stress and emotions are running high. This is the time to be as gentle and kind with one another as we can possibly be. We do not know the struggles that others face. We do not where they are on their journey. We do not what demons they may be battling. We do not what loss they have suffered or what sadness they may be experiencing. So we all have a responsibility to one another to be as kind as we can possibly be.

“…But the human tongue is a beast that few can master. It strains constantly to break out of its cage, and if it is not tamed, it will run wild and cause you grief.” -Unknown

That is my two cents on the issue. It is just as easy to speak kind words as it is to speak harsh ones.  Choose wisely.

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” -Mother Teresa

How do you choose to use your words?

Keeping it on the edge,

Shelbee

*A year and a half ago, I wrote another post on this topic.  You can read that post here: Mind Your Words.

Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups.

I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.

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