Shelbee Says…”Forgive yourself.”

If you type in a simple Google search forgiveness quotes, you will find a plethora of profound and valuable statements from a vast array of wise individuals throughout the history of mankind. Forgiveness seems to be one of those virtues that allows us to let go of the wrongs that have been done to us or by us in order to move forward through the journey of our lives.  Some wrongs may have been intentional with malicious purpose, some may merely be mistakes due to lack of insight, and some may be so incredibly minor as to have not much bearing at all on the grand scheme things, yet we need to forgive them all in order to move past the little obstacles that these actions lay in our paths.

It often is easier to assign blame for certain events to other people never wanting to admit our own flaws, oversights, and contributions to the actions that have led to undesirable results.  As difficult as it may seem in general to forgive others whom we have blamed, forget it, and move on, it all too frequently is more difficult to forgive ourselves when we have realized our own neglect or poor decisions have had negative results. Even the most minor of transgressions committed by ourselves that literally have no effect on anyone except ourselves can seem to create the biggest hurdles to overcome.

A current example of this is my struggle right now as I write this post.  I am fighting to forgive myself for being a tiny bit too carefree with a smidgen of irresponsibility thrown in for good measure. I wanted to write this post yesterday, but instead I threw out the whole idea as the topic I wanted to discuss was not flowing with ease. I put my computer away and headed off to sit outside at local music festival instead.  It was a beautiful day for sitting outside, but the music was not the genre of my choice.  After spending the money to gain entrance to the outdoor venue, however, I decided that I had better just stick around until nearly the end “to get my money’s worth.” I was not enjoying myself except for the fact that I ran into a friend there and we did have some wonderful conversation amidst the screaming cursing lyrics from a long line up of hip hop and rap performers. We finally decided to leave there and visited a few local drinking establishments.  Yes, I had fun and a lot of laughs.  But here is where I am having trouble with self-forgiveness…I drank too much, I am hungover and miserable this morning, and feel as if I wasted valuable time doing something that I wasn’t even really enjoying and I was not obligated to be doing anyway.  To exacerbate my own feelings of irresponsibility, I stayed up until 3:00 a.m. knowing full well that this kind of behavior can trigger massively destructive mood swings for me.  Then I laid in bed until nearly 10:00 a.m. which makes me feel like I lost half the day when I could have been accomplishing more important things.

I guess the point is this…no one has been effected by my decisions over the past 24 hours except me and the harm done is rather minimal in the grand scheme of things.  If I can accept that it was okay for my minor lapse in judgment and just go with the flow, I can actually prevent the mood swing from occurring.  What’s done is done.  I can’t get that time back so I shouldn’t waste any more time dwelling on it.  And if I need a nap today, I should probably just take one.  After all the kids are visiting Gramma and I have no one to tend to for the next week except myself.  So forgive myself I must, forget about it, and hold onto the memory of the great belly laughs that were had in the midst of a carefree, irresponsible night out.  If I can forgive this tiny transgression, I will become better adept at forgiving the larger ones that I may encounter in the future.

And that is my message today…the long and the short of it…the short and sweet…and the events that led me to it.  Forgive yourself.  It is a crucial act for self improvement and good mental health. Now I must heed my own advice.  And be comfortable in the fact that my blog post is actually only a few hours behind my intended publication time anyway.  No harm done by missing self-imposed deadlines. No harm whatsoever.  Forgiveness granted.

Keeping it on the edge,

Shelbee

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