Shelbee Got Her Groove Back & Link Up On the Edge #44

May 18, 2017 / 73 Comments

A little over a month ago, I wrote a post discussing the issue of decreased libido in my 40’s and what I was doing to deal with it. While this post probably received the least amount of comments on the actual blog itself (I attribute that to its title), it was by far my most popular blog post to date, logging the most page views I have ever had and the largest organic Facebook reach. Apparently, it is a topic that, although taboo, is still quite common and the response was overwhelming.

A few weeks after I published that post and received the amazing response that I did, things started to change around here…it seems I suddenly have found my lost sex drive! Or it has found me. Whatever the case may be. It’s kind of funny actually. My sister is about 6 years my senior and approximately 6 years ago, I remember her telling me how she suddenly experienced that increased libido that middle aged women often talk about. I thought it was a myth as I patiently waited for it to happen to me. To say it caught me off guard is an understatement. It has literally taken me by storm. I’m not really sure how to process it all, but I am just enjoying the ride. My husband isn’t complaining either…except that he’s tired!

If have read this far, you are probably wondering why the hell I am sharing this much personal information with you. First of all, it’s what I do. I share things. Personal things. Especially if I think it can help other people. And I walk right on the edge of what’s appropriate. Like all of the time. Secondly, I want to tell you how this increase in libido has changed my life entirely…not just in the bedroom. I feel more energized. I feel more confident. I have more bounce in my step. I feel prettier, sassier, sexier.  Hell, I even feel smarter. And I also kind of feel like I can conquer the world right now.

I also feel more adventurous and more willing to take some risks.  In my small business goals, in the way I dress, in my friendships, and clearly in my blog topic choices! My husband and I are exploring things together that we both only imagined in our wildest dreams. Not only is our sex life improved, but the entire nature of our marriage is becoming stronger in so many ways.  We have always been very open and honest with another, but we have taken that concept to a whole new level, for sure!

So if you are in the same type of rut that I was in…and I was in it for close to a decade…just be patient. Both you and your partner. Because this midlife change is nothing short of amazing and exhilarating! When you hear women talk about the Fabulous 40’s…it is not a lie! This is by far the best decade of my life!

I don’t know how long this crazy wave is going to last, but I am enjoying every second of it while it’s here!

Outfit Details
Dress: Women’s Plus Fuchsia Jacquard Drop Waist Dress – Victoria Beckham for Target.
All other items have been in my closet for some time.
*This is not a sponsored post.

Your favorite posts from last week…

Dawn Lucy of Fashion Should Be Fun shared her post Winkwood Sunglasses Giveaway featuring her amazing new sunnies and of course, a giveaway! Unfortunately, the giveaway is closed, but how cute is her outfit?!

And Celia of Resilientista shared an amazing post How a Professional Photo Shoot Changed My Life & Why You Should Book One, Too!. This…“Looking in the mirror is not the same as seeing yourself captured through the lens of a professional photographer, whose eye sees you differently from the way you see yourself. They bring out the true essence that is YOU!” is so incredibly important! Thanks for sharing, Celia.


Keeping it on the edge,

Shelbee

Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups.

I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.

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73 Comments

  • Vicky

    May 18, 2017 at 4:40 pm Reply

    Wow!! That is even more wonderful that your pink VB dress. I picked up the pink shell top version just this week. 🙂 As I hit 41 next week I am hoping for this change. I’ve noticed weird upticks in the last year but nothing overwhelming but man, would I love that change. That’s really exciting and I can see how it would change everything in a ripple effect way. YAY!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      May 18, 2017 at 5:23 pm Reply

      Happy early Birthday to you, Vicky! I do hope you get the full upswing instead of just periodic upticks! Because it has me flying! I am turning 43 in 2 weeks and I just had my tubes tied and uterine ablation in the fall…I don’t know if any of those are contributing factors or not, but whatever… I’ll take it! Just hang in there and fake it ’til you make it, my friend! Hahaha. That saying takes on a whole new meaning in this context, doesn’t it?!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Laurie

    May 18, 2017 at 5:55 pm Reply

    Glad you got your groove back shelbee! It’s funny how we all want to read about it, but too scared to shout about it. Me being one.
    Maybe a hormone fluctuation? Make the most of it is what I say! But let me tell you. I’m 54 and still have that amazing drive. Just letting you know there are a lot of years ahead of you before it’s time to throw in the towel so to speak! xx
    http://www.vanityandmestyle.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      May 18, 2017 at 8:37 pm Reply

      Laurie, I love this comment from you so much! I am so happy you shared it with me. And if I have at least 10 more years of this before it goes away, wow, I am one lucky lady. And my husband is even luckier! Hahaha!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Nancy

    May 18, 2017 at 6:09 pm Reply

    I thought I saw it on you! That sounds weird doesn t it! I saw that you were more convidant, not that your libido was up😂😂😂😂! Sometimes when I don t feel like having sex, I do it anyway because it gives me such a feminine feeling! Gerben doesn t mind either😂😂😂

  • Trina

    May 18, 2017 at 6:10 pm Reply

    Honey you’re not the only one with a declined sex drive mine have been low when I hit 40 and my husband has a very high sex drive lol! Can’t get him to leave me alone at time have to practically use a bat lol! Anyway you are slaying that outfit girl, I totally love it! Thank so much for sharing and hosting:)

    http://www.tipsyheelz.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      May 20, 2017 at 11:22 am Reply

      Kathrine, I am so glad that this is happening to me now and I just hope it lasts for some time! My husband loves that I have become the initiator! Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Celia M.

    May 19, 2017 at 12:29 pm Reply

    Shelbee! Love that you are talking about this … women need to talk about sex, instead of thinking they are the only ones going through something. What is important is that we not make each other feel bad – for either not having sex drive , or for having an insatiable appetite for it. I’ve been going through my own decline of interest in this area of life – I attributed it to my accident , but posed the question “who is having sex?” to a group of gal friends recently and was surprise that they too are not – at feeling it at this time – out of 5 gals one couldn’t get enough(lol) . Like everything in life it’s important to understand sometimes you feel it, sometimes you don’t – and other times its somewhere in the middle. Keep on sharing sista! –

    P.S. thank you for sharing my photo experience. I really encourage women to find a professional photographer in their area. The experience of seeing oneself TRUE self is amazing!!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      May 20, 2017 at 11:21 am Reply

      Celia, thank you so much for this wonderful comment! Isn’t it amazing what we can discover from others when we just start a discussion? So the 4 women in your group who were not having sex were probably feeling like there was something wrong with them….until you opened the discussion. Then suddenly they realize what is going in their lives is completely normal. This is why I write about the topics I do. People need to feel “normal” and we tend to get so caught up in our worlds, our own struggles, that we isolate within our own heads and think the problem lies with us alone. And that’s not true. Like ever. We are never alone in a struggle. There is always someone who can relate on some level. And the only way to discover that community of support is to open the discussion! So I am with you all the way…we need to keep discussing these “taboo” topics. Thank you so much for validating what I do!

      And now you have thinking about doing something for a girls’ weekend with professional photo shoots…hmmmmmm….the ideas are starting to formulate.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      May 20, 2017 at 11:13 am Reply

      Thank you, Rachael! Being open and honest about things in my life that could possibly help others is what set me on this blogging journey in the first place. Little did I know the topics I would explore as I got deeper into this. Oh the experiences I have in life! Thank you for validating what I do. It means everything to me!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Patrick Weseman

    May 19, 2017 at 2:31 pm Reply

    Looking nice. I was teaching a science class the other day and did know that our drive to reproduce is strongest drive even stronger than the will to live.

    Thanks for hosting and have a wonderful weekend.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      May 20, 2017 at 11:11 am Reply

      Patrick, that is a very interesting fact about human drives and instincts. My husband is thinking this is part of the midlife hormonal urge fighting for its last chance at reproduction! He may be correct then in that speculation! Thanks so much for sharing this bit of information. Have a fabulous weekend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Gail

    May 20, 2017 at 3:48 pm Reply

    Good on you for sharing! We should hear more about topics like these. Glad you have got your groove back. The fuchsia pink is a stunner!

  • Judy

    May 21, 2017 at 5:42 pm Reply

    I think it improves confidence in so many areas when you are feeling so good, and you are certainly looking good in all of the posts since I have been following you.
    I like the fact that you coverthe kinds of topics that most of us want to discuss but some are too worried to bring them up! 🙂

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      May 22, 2017 at 9:47 am Reply

      Judy, thank you so much for that validation. It means the world to me. I do talk about these topics because I know there is a need for the discussion and I know that people are afraid to talk about them. So I figure if I just put it all out there, it may help others. And it’s comments like these that let me know that I am doing a good thing! So thank you very much!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Neti

    May 23, 2017 at 5:01 am Reply

    Love this post and the pink dress on You. When women forget about the feel good moments of sex it quickly gets out of their mind and loving oneself is key. Once you Love yourself and it shows, it will all fall into place. I am glad you got your sexy back. . and who does not want to be sassy, sexy, smart and exciting all in one lifetime?

    PS: This subject is not taboo. I write about subjects like this all the time.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      May 23, 2017 at 10:45 am Reply

      Neti, thank you so much for this wonderful comment! I suppose I don’t find this topic taboo either as I talk about it all the time! But it is still a little scary to put it out there as many people do find it taboo. And I agree with you completely! “Who does not want to be sassy, sexy, smart and exciting all in one lifetime?” For real! I love feeling this way and if sex is what takes me there then so be it!

      Heading your way shortly to check out some of your blog posts!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Paul

    August 26, 2020 at 2:10 pm Reply

    My definition of sexy, from a guys perspective . We say sexy when you have stimulated 1 of the 5 senses vision,hearing,smell,taste and touch. When I say you are sexy you have stimulated my sight. It could be by your posture your fashion your sense of confidence but you have stimulated this sense. Like your post you did a scary thing , that is off the chart sexy and you have stimulated the other 4 figuratively. Now if you can stimulate the other 4 which requires communication , sense of humor and intimacy then sexy is on a whole different level. I think we forget about the brain if we can stimulate this muscle you will have a friendship for all time which is sexy to me

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      August 26, 2020 at 2:25 pm Reply

      Paul, thank you so much for sharing a male perspective on this topic. I think when it comes to physical appearance, we do need to feel some sort of attraction towards another person in order to want intimacy. But it is all of the other things that are so much more important for a long lasting relationship. I feel like as I get to know another person, they become either more or less attractive to me as I learn all of their little personality intricacies. A very physically attractive person can become unsexy and quite ugly very quickly if they have an unattractive personality. I really like the way you have framed the answer to this question with regard to the 5 senses. If one sense is stimulated, then that is certainly enough to get the ball rolling towards sexiness. I did actually feel very sexy in my “I did a scary thing” post! So thank you for acknowledging that!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

      • Paul

        August 27, 2020 at 4:33 am Reply

        I agree it is all the other things that makes a person truly beautiful , sexy and attractive or as you mentioned unattractive personality is ugly. Question I saw 4 little bear paw tattoos if not too personal what is the meaning ?

        • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

          August 27, 2020 at 9:19 am Reply

          Thanks, Paul! They were actually at one time cat paw prints but I think time and age and child bearing may have stretched them making them look more like bear paws. Haha. Anyway, there is no special meaning to them. I was just a bit of a cat lady back in my single days and so there they are…there is also the mouse that chased the cat on the inside of my left thigh.

          xoxo
          Shelbee

  • Paul

    August 27, 2020 at 12:30 pm Reply

    Definitely not stretched . 1st of all , it is difficult to see that mouse , how did it get to be in such a good spot , and 2nd why is the mouse chasing the cat ?

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      August 27, 2020 at 2:28 pm Reply

      Ha. Yeah, the mouse is only visible in precarious positions! The cat was supposed to chase the mouse (the prints were supposed to run downwards on my body with a mouse jumping out onto the inside of my thigh) but the tattoo artist did the paw prints first and made them going the wrong way! So rather than get angry (because there is no point in that once the ink has been injected beneath my skin), we switched it to the mouse chasing the cat. A bit silly and ridiculous but I was young and ridiculous and I have the tattoos to prove it!

      • Paul

        August 28, 2020 at 12:11 am Reply

        Ok that is too funny it reminds of the snickers commercial the tattoo artist should have had a snickers . When I hear the word precarious I think of shaky ,dangerous, so I am trying to think of those precarious positions maybe upside down

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