No One is Listening & #SpreadTheKindness Link Up #177
I feel like no one is listening. I feel like everyone just wants their own voice to be heard. I feel like we are all just screaming at each other. And the result is completely ineffective communication. How can we possibly view an issue from all angles and make appropriate considerations that will result in successful changes if we are so unwilling to even hear what anyone else has to say?
Changes happen on a million different levels. From within ourselves which is then filtered down to our children and extended out to our personal networks. Change will grow from there. Outward, upward, downward, and inward. When we patiently and purposefully implement changes from within, that is the first step toward changing our communities, our societies, our cultures, our beliefs, our ideals, and our world views.
Changing world views is a very major component in the evolution of humanity. But we cannot have change until we learn how to effectively communicate. I fear that we may remain stuck in this endless cycle of screaming and fighting for a long time to come. That leaves me feeling uncomfortable and sad. But discomfort and sadness are also places where change is born.
We are a nation, a society, a culture, a species currently experiencing some seriously tough growing pains. But growth is just as necessary as the painful process that will get us there. Without growth on every level of our very existence, we simply cannot evolve. And without evolution, we simply cannot survive as a species. So if we do not want to bear witness to the extinction of the entire human race, we really kind of have to stop killing each other.
That sounds like a fairly easy call to action, doesn’t it? Just stop killing each other. But apparently, it is harder than we think because every damn time I tap into any news source, it is all I see…people killing people. Maybe I am naive to think this should be an easy task. Even more naive is my belief that it should be way easier to be kind and loving humans to all things and all creatures on earth. But we live in a world that has seemingly accepted and promoted violence and cruelty toward others as an appropriate method of survival. And I don’t like it. I really don’t like it at all.
I am certain that many of you who read this will agree with my sentiments. I don’t think anyone I have ever spoken to in my entire life would agree that violence and hatred are necessary and effective ways of living in this world. Yet here we are, living in the midst of some of the most violent and hateful behaviors I have ever witnessed. Apparently, human evolution is a much slower process than we can even comprehend.
So what are we supposed to do to fix the problem? Well, I don’t really know. But I do think that if we kick it back to kindergarten basics, we may be able to turn ourselves in the right direction. We are taught as soon as we head off to school to be respectful and kind, to wait our turn before speaking, to listen to what others have to say first before responding.
For me, it seems pretty simple. Stop screaming at each other, take a deep breath, count to 10, and wait your turn. One at a time or else the only thing we get is chaos, a whole ton of deafening chaos where no one can hear a damn thing. I want to hear, I want to learn, I want to head towards a better tomorrow. A tomorrow where love knows no bounds, where people respect each other and appreciate differences, where we can all be who were meant to be without fear of any kind. That is the tomorrow I want to experience. It is the tomorrow I want for my kids and their kids and every generation that follows.
Where do you stand on these issues? I am listening.
And now your featured favorites from last week.
Reader Favorite (Most Clicked)
Moumous of La Moumous shared her post, 5 Tips To Master the Wearing of Your Cloth Face Masks Ft. Veve Collection Mask by Phelicia Dell. The masks featured by Moumous are absolutely magnificent works of art. And doesn’t she look so mysterious and ever so stylish?
My Favorite Fashion Post
Emma of Style Splash shared her post, Lilac and Golden Yellow. I am so inspired by this brilliant color combination. It is so superbly beautiful for spring and summer.
My Favorite Non-Fashion Post
Ada of Eco Kid shared her post, The Best Sustainability Resources to Help You Learn. I have been trying to make lots of changes to living a more sustainable lifestyle and Ada has shared some really helpful resources for implementing these changes.
Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Parties.
Shop my look…
Outfit Details: Top and Overalls-Torrid / Sneakers-Puma / Necklace-c/o Happiness Boutique / Socks and Earrings-Old
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
76 Comments
Nancy
My father said to me in a discussion when I was 16, that people don’t listen to each other, really listen. They only are thinking about what to say them selves. That’s who majority of people are. Sadly. Most people only want to hear them selves talking. I am thinking a lot of how this world is becoming, it frightens me.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Nancy, thank you for sharing your father’s advice on this topic. It is so true and we are all guilty of it. We act like we are listening when we are really thinking about how we are going to respond. I am becoming much conscious of this and have been practicing more conscious and attentive listening with everyone. Thank you for the reminder. And I also feel very frightened right now by the state of the world. But we have to keep shining our light, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Claire
Same here Shelbee. So much sadness going on in the world right now 🙁
Love this outfit and your hair looks great like this. I have been wearing ponytails/pigtails (is this what you call them?) at the minute as my hair is getting so long. I would love some dungarees 🙂 Thanks for hosting lovely.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Claire! There really is just too much sadness, it is difficult to keep positive. And yes, we call this hairstyle either pigtails or ponytails. I love that you are wearing your hair in pigtails, too! So cute.
xoxo
Shelbee
Kellyann Rohr
The best advice I ever got? God gave us mouths that close but ears that are always open! Sums it up so well!
xo,
Kellyann
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Kellyann! I love that advice. Now if more people would take it, we might start to make some progress.
xoxo
Shelbee
Dee | Grammy's Grid
Thanks so much for hosting! I’m linking up today with my Themed Party for Cleaning and Organizing (open June 15-25), won’t you linkup with me?
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Dee, thanks so much! I don’t think I have anything suitable for that link party theme but I will definitely be by to check out what others are sharing!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kathrine Eldridge
I feel you in this post Shelbee. There is a lot of discomfort and I’m trying to sit with it and learn as much as I can. In a world of social media, many people can’t stop talking. Thanks for your insightful post and loving these overalls!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Kathrine! Yeah, I am having trouble thinking and processing it all with all the noise and screaming going on in the world!
xoxo
Shelbee
Tamar A Strauss-Benjamin
I am struggling to respect people’s opinions but some issues aren’t opinion….they’re human rights, so it’s hard!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I hear you, Tamar! It is so difficult to see things from the perspective of others especially when that perspective is in direct opposition to our own. I guess it is just recognizing how we got here…it is generations of hand me down beliefs and values that take so, so long to change because they almost become hard wired after so many generations. I think even the unwillingness to learn and understand and be open to change is hard wired making the entire process of evolution a slow and tedious one. Just keep speaking your truths, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jill
So much sadness in the world right now. I don’t know how we got to this place where violence and killing are “normal”. What happened to treating people with respect, dignity, and putting yourself in someone else’s shoes to see their other point of view? I definitely agree we need to go back to the basics we learned as kids.
Jill –Doused in Pink
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jill, thanks so much for sharing your input on the topic. We really do need to get back to some basics. It seems like we have collectively lost our minds!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jennifer
I agree we need to start listening. Our country is do divided right. Not just with the BLM movement but with the government too. My dad was saying the democrats and republicans are also so divided and it hasn’t always been like this. And both sides are refusing to budge. Hopefully soon things will get better.
Jennifer
Effortlessly Sophisticated
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jennifer, thanks so much for joining this discussion! We are so incredibly divided right now that I fear it will destroy us completely. But I suppose sometimes you have to break things down right to their basic level and start fresh. Maybe that is the direction we are headed…a fresh and healthy start. Who knows? We just have to keep shining our light into the world.
xoxo
Shelbee
mireille
I think a lot of people think that if they speak louder and scream they will be listened to but actually I think it is the opposite: you have to speak quietly to be heard. Otherwise everything turns into a screaming match of emotions where you are not listening but just are trying to be louder than the other. Like with children: I think when we speak to them in a firm, quiet manner they are more likely to listen in the long run and view what we say not as something said in anger or reaction but in wisdom (not to say that I do yell at my kids occasionnally). Your comparison to kindergartner is right on point.
And cute outfit btw, love the pigtails!
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Mireille, thank you so much for sharing your perspective on this topic. I was just having a conversation with my sister and used the analogy of a married couple having a fight where they both just scream at each other without ever listening to the other. They will get no where and be miserable. It is the same thing on a much larger scale. The sad thing is that this screaming battle could last for decades before any real change happens. So sad.
xoxo
Shelbee
Amy Ann Arnold
Listening is definitely key in a time like this! I love your overalls.
Amy Ann
Straight A Style
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Amy Ann! Listening is the most important part of communication, I think. Yet it continues to baffle so many people!
xoxo
Shelbee
Chrissy
Listening sounds so easy, right? Some times I have to chant…” be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19)…Some statements feel like gut punches and the desire to be reactionary is almost instinctive. I honestly believe that I cannot accomplish self-control, kindness, love (as in unconditional), joy, peace, patience, long-suffering, goodness, or gentleness in and of myself. I’ve tried and failed many times. It’s my proof for why I need a Savior. When I look at the historical life of Christ I see a man that endured more insults, accusations, and in the end, punishment when He did no crime. When I read about His trials before the religious leaders, Herod and Pilate, my attention was brought to the fact that He never tried to defend Himself. He had every right and yet He remained SILENT. And all of this from people he taught and amazed, showed love and kindness to…I couldn’t do that! I used to say “what is this world coming to??”. But when I read over history I see that there’s nothing new under the sun. History repeats itself. Anyway, side note, I think some of the crazy is to hide other happenings. While trying to hunt for information on viruses, our immune system, racism, etc I stumbled onto stats about human trafficking in our country. UGH! How is this related? I don’t know, but that’s the stuff that kept coming up. However, there’s hope. This is not the end and I look to that hope with peace while praying for eyes that are open. How can I help?? Anyway, this is way too long to be a blog post comment. lol. You have a gift for words my friend…one I wish that God had given me. There’s so much I want to express! Keep bringing on the conversations – I love it. And I want to listen more – God may it be!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Chrissy, my dear friend, I think you have a much stronger gift of words than you are giving yourself credit for. You have been blessed with a certain way about you that draws people in and makes us want to hear what you have to say. You already know where I stand from a religious perspective, yet I always, always want to hear what you have to share from your personal and religious point of view. You are very gifted at that and your words flow easily and reach people on levels they didn’t even know needed reaching. So thank you for that.
And yes, history absolutely repeats itself. We are all flawed and we will always have conflict. Conflict is necessary to implement changes and improve ourselves as a species. But couldn’t we all be more like Christ…loving unconditionally, fighting the good fight without ever wavering, fighting with patience and perseverance and gentleness.
Thank you for sharing this comment as it is a perspective that isn’t showing up much these days and really needs to be considered.
I adore you, my sweet friend! Keep sharing your message and your light!
xoxo
Shelbee
Ashley
I think listening is such an important thing a lot of us are missing- there’s such a quick reflex to defend one’s position rather than hear the other side of the discussion, INTERNALIZE IT, and do some self-reflection. We need more of this!
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Ashley, for adding your feedback to this post! It is so important to revisit our own beliefs periodically, listen to others, and weigh our own thoughts against that to see if what we believe still works for us. I think we get too comfortable to the point that looking to change ourselves is really frightening. But my god, we need to do this! Thanks for shining your light into the world, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Nora Minassian
I agree that communication is everything Shelbee. Right now it seems like no one wants to listen because there are so many frustrated voices that want to be heard more than listen. It is definitely very challenging times and I do hope it gets better for our kids. I love this black over alls look on you, so casual and cute.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Nora, thank you so much! I do believe that things happen for a reason in due course as they should. And now is apparently the time for screaming. But eventually, we all have to start listening as well so we can activate real and meaningful change. Cheers to a better tomorrow for everyone!
xoxo
Shelbee
jess jannenga
I had to give myself a news “time out” for a week, as all the negativity was getting me down. I believe in staying informed, but sometimes it is overwhelming. Things need to change – police training, people need to continue to social distance.. it is disheartening to see groups and groups of people on tv, when you are trying to do the “right thing.” so, I don’t know how things will change, we will see.
Love the overalls on you, so cute especially with the stripes! It looks like a sunny day there!
jess xx
have a great week!
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jess, thanks so much! I have completely tuned out from the news myself. It is just breaking my heart and the sadness has been silencing my words. I am hoping to gain more access to my thoughts on these matters so I can write more. But we will see. Hang in there, my friend. Just keep shining your light into the world!
xoxo
Shelbee
Christina Morley
Great words! Yes, it starts with us and what we are saying around our kids. Thankfully, my kids who are American/South African are growing up with friends of different cultures and religions here in South Africa. And, Amanda, my youngest, is the kindest person in our family. The other day she heard her dad say something negative about Donal Trump and told him that people shouldn’t make fun of him. She told her dad that if Trump was his brother, he would try to protect him even if he didn’t agree with him.
I noticed that I spelled 1camera1mom wrong in the linky. lol
Thanks for always leaving sweet comments even if I don’t always reply!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Tina, thank you so much! I know I have fought my whole life to break away from the generational teachings of racism and I hope that I teach my kids otherwise. Actually, we are reading a book right now about the role of minorities in the settling of the western United States. The point of the book is to highlight those folks who have been overlooked in history books because of race and/or gender. But as we are reading it, I realized that my kids really have no concept of racism because we never taught such things in our home. But that is not necessarily a good thing overall because in their unawareness of it, they are also unaware of what really goes on in the world. So this is the time for me to teach those things and it is hard. But I have always taught them to be kind and loving to all people and creatures on earth. Hopefully, this will lead to a more accepting and loving generation of humans. Keep doing what you do, my friend! And no worries on the commenting. Life is busy, I get it!
xoxo
Shelbee
Christina Morley
Sounds like a fabulous book! I did two true stories (picture books) with Amanda a few years ago about minority Americans doing big things. Loved both!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
That is awesome! I will be sharing a review of this book once we get through the whole thing!
Michelle
I love everything about this post! You know I am in 100% agreement. We need to quit viewing people with different skin color, culture, ethnicity, and religions with suspicion. Replace that fear with curiosity. Revel in the differences. Sadly, I fear our exceptionally capitalistic economy teaches us that resources are scarce and must be fought over. The truth is if we had the will we could insure all of our citizens had a decent life.
But your post was about effective communication and I digress. I read a quote from Alan Alda which has stuck with me. “Unless I am willing to be changed by you, I’m not really listening.”
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I agree, I agree, I agree, Michelle. And it is okay that you digress because this post is about effective communication on its surface, but you know that it goes much deeper than that and I am glad that you took it there. I love that Alan Alda quote. I was just reading through an old journal last night (I don’t have it in front of me so I cannot quote exactly) and I had jotted down a quote from The Secret Life of Bees and it said something like “I wish God had not created skin pigmentation.” It was a profoundly heartbreaking sentence and when I read it, I was like, “Yes. That would have prevented so many issues in the history of humanity.” But alas, we are all different and we should appreciate and respect the beauty in all of our differences. We are really missing out in this blind rage that has taken over the world. Keep shining your light, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
Oh! And the overalls outfit is so damn cute! Great pics with your boys too!
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aw, thanks so much, Michelle!
xoxo
Shelbee
Laura Bambrick
It really should be so easy, but it shocks me how much hate people have in their hearts. I always hope and pray we can do better as a human race!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am right there with you, Laura! There is a tremendous amount of hatred in the world right now and it saddens me on a daily basis. If we could shift all that hatred into love and understanding, can you imagine the beautiful, wonderful results that we would see? Thanks for joining the discussion. Keep shining bright!
xoxo
Shelbee
Joanne
I completely agree that so many are shouting and so few are listening!… and it seems like that is about everything right now– race, the virus, politics, etc. I actually left Facebook a few months ago for that reason and do not miss it at all. I’ve also stopped watching the news entirely. I know it’s not much of a solution but so far it’s the only thing I can think of to keep my sanity. That and educating myself with reading. Thanks so much for hosting.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Joanne, thank you so much for joining the discussion today! I have had to pull way back from social media and all news sources as well because the noise was just so loud that I can’t even hear anything anymore. I want to listen and be educated and learn ways that I can help make change happen. But first I need a little bit of silence to think it all through and consider all points. I am all for positive change and necessary progress, but we have to stop killing each other to get there. Stay sane, my friend, and keep shining your light!
xoxo
Shelbee
Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom
So true! If people would be quiet and listen more and not be so quick to put assumptions or judgements on what others say than I think everything would be so much more peaceful. I also believe that change takes time. It won’t happen overnight, or even in a week. But, we need to focus on progress, day to day moreso thank anything.
Carrie
curlycraftymom.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Carrie, thanks so much for joining in today. I agree with you completely. Change takes time, a lot of time, as we are seeing. Most times, it takes way more time than we are comfortable with. We need to catch our breath for a minute, stop, talk rationally, and start implementing the necessary changes in a more peaceful way. That being said, I do understand the frustrations when it comes to how very slow the progress is. The conflict is just as necessary and people get angry. We all have a right to get angry and express it. But my word, we have to find better ways to push progress forward. Keep shining your light, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Emma Peach
It feels like we’re at a tipping point right now, I just hope that we can collectively overcome the anger and unrest that’s tearing us apart. Now is the time to listen, learn and do better. It’s long overdue. I’m reading a lot and trying to educate myself, I think it’s everyone’s duty to do that.
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
Emma Peach
And thank you so much for featuring my post! xxx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
It was my pleasure, Emma! Thanks for always joining my link parties!
xoxo
Shelbee
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Emma, I totally agree that we all have a duty to listen and learn especially before we start lashing out. We can do so much better. We have to do so much better. Thanks for joining the discussion!
xoxo
Shelbee
Lydia C. Lee
It’s a little like the world is dividing into teams – within each country. It’s a strange time. And a little scary if you look at history.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Lydia, thanks so much for joining in today! The division really is a scary one, but I am hoping there are enough people in the middle of the division who can really, truly see and understand both sides of things, who can act as mediators. It is definitely a very strange and scary time, but it is times like these that push progress forward. We will all come out better people in the end. Unfortunately, we don’t know how long it will take and what destruction can occur in the time it takes to get to that end. We have to remain positive and trust the process, I suppose.
xoxo
Shelbee
Emma Peach
It feels like we’re at a tipping point right now, I just hope that we can collectively overcome the anger and unrest that’s tearing us apart. Now is the time to listen, learn and do better. It’s long overdue. I’m reading a lot and trying to educate myself, I think it’s everyone’s duty to do that. Thanks so much for featurig my post!
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Emma, thanks so much for joining this discussion. We are definitely at a tipping point and it was long overdue. It has to happen, conflict has to happen, people have to get angry and they have to push back. Sometimes, they have to push really hard and I totally get that. But the violence is getting so far out of control and the downright nastiness from all ends of it. And I just feel like a more peaceful, calm, rational approach would be better. But I do understand that first, it kind of has to be this way to force progress forward. But I am choosing to listen and learn right now before lashing out (although I am generally not a person who lashes out about anything, but you know what I mean). Keep shining, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
jodie filogomo
We should go back to kindergarten where we had to raise a hand to be heard and put in the corner when we weren’t behaving!! Absolutely.
I was just saying that most times you have your ideas and aren’t ready to change your thinking. I wonder why? We need to be more open to other’s concerns and thoughts.
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jodie, thanks for joining this discussion! Your solution just made me giggle. I pictured the whole darn world sitting in a giant classroom, raising their hands to speak in turn, and being sent to the corner when they speak out of turn. Haha. It was kind of a comical image in my head. We could even make the really outrageous ones wear a dunce cap or something. Public humiliation usually works, doesn’t it?!
I think that most people are not willing to change their minds and beliefs because it is uncomfortable and we already know that most of us do not tolerate any form of discomfort very well at all. So until more people are ready to step out of their comfort zones and reconsider their ideas and consider other options and ideas, we are going to stay in this massive screaming battle.
I suppose those of us who realize how important effective communication is in getting things done will have to keep pushing a little. Keep shining bright, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Cheryl Shops
I have two ears and one mouth, so I listen twice as much as I speak! 😉 That said, yes, there is a lot of shouting nowadays, and for that I blame the Internet. There is also a lot of change starting to happen, and for that I thank the Internet. It’s a double-edged sword, but I know that good will win in the end. <3
Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Cheryl, I couldn’t agree with you more! This is perfectly stated. I am pretty certain that life itself is a double edged sword. And I am also a hopeful and optimistic person, so I too believe good will prevail. But first there must be conflict, as uncomfortable as it is, in order to kick start progress. Thanks so much for joining the discussion. Keep shining bright, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Shauna
YES! I’m all about the kindergarten basics for sure. Lately I wish that people would listen to science when it comes to wearing a mask and social distancing. My city seems to believe that everything is under control, when reality it is far from it. I feel like I’m talking to brick walls when explaining the importance of it! Frustrating for sure…but I continue to be kind to others, even when we disagree XO
Shauna
http://www.lipglossandlace.net
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Shauna, thanks so much for joining the discussion! We are just constantly being bombarded with so much stuff in the media, who the heck can keep track anymore?! I feel like it’s just all noise, really loud noise on so many different issues. If we could all show kindness even in our frustration, wouldn’t that be evidence that we are becoming better humans? Keep shining your light, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Mica
These are such fun dungarees and you have shared some very wise words in your post! I’ve learnt that I have just being assuming my kids will grow up to be like me and that I need to try harder to ensure that by exposing them to more diversity and teach them that differences aren’t a bad thing. I think there is a lot of fear and hate around when people encounter something different, and it’s so sad to see.
I really hope my kids aren’t treated any differently because of their different skin colours! (one looks like me, the other like his dad and grandfather).
Hope that you are having a good week, despite all the tough stuff around 🙂
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Mica, thanks so much for joining the discussion! I still have trouble understanding why people are so fearful of things that are different. I understand that it was probably a matter of survival…100,000 years ago. But we really need to make some progress in our collective thinking now. I hope your kids are not treated differently either. I hope the future is a much more peaceful and loving place for all of our children. And I hope that I am able to teach my kids to be loving and kind and to appreciate how wonderful differences are…they make this world so much richer. Keep shining your beautiful light into the world!
xoxo
Shelbee
Nanchi
Shelbee, I totally understand what you are feeling. In this whole wide world, everyone is busy in their thoughts and want to express. No body wants to listen. And also, Love and kindness are never wasted. We should start with ourselves. You are a kind, strong and beautiful soul. Don’t let the other factors destroy your inner peace. Loads of love and hugs to you. We love you! ❤❤🤗🤗
https://nanchi.blog/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Nanchi, thank you so much for your kind words and for joining this important discussion. It is really difficult sometimes to remain peaceful and happy when there is so much unrest and cruelty surrounding us. I often feel like a ship of positivity trying to remain afloat in a sea of violent and chaotic negativity. The storm is rough, but we must prevail. I am trying to stay in touch with my inner peace. Thank you for the reminder to make that a priority. Keep shining your beautiful light into the world, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Leelo
I love this post and I have the sae thoughts. Some days I don’t even want to see or read the news because there’s not much positive in the news lately and that’s so sad 🙁
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Leelo, thanks so much for stopping by. I totally relate to that sadness. It overwhelms me every time I even attempt to read or watch news or even just check out social media. I hope we can get through this stage of unrest fairly quickly and start making the necessary progress towards a better future for everyone.
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
I have had to learn how to listen. I have done many exercises where you have had to someone for two to four minutes and couldn’t say anything or give any facial gestures. It is designed to make you focus on what is being said.
Too many people are afraid of change, even though it coming. They are happy in their little bubbles and are scared of it. It is easy to live that way.
We have lost the middle in this country. We have also lost the art of how to compromise. All of this is sad.
Nice, fun outift you have there. Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful week.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Patrick, thanks so much for joining the discussion. I agree with you completely. We have lost our ability to actively listen, to compromise, to understand the views of others, and to appreciate the differences in others. I think there is still a middle that exists but it is a very small middle between two raging oppositions. We are living in sad and scary times, but these are the times that effect change. Change is necessary and it will happen. Keep shining your light into the world, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Lizzie
I totally agree with everything you said here. The world (and social media, in particular) have become very uncomfortable. I had to step away for over a week because it was too much for me to handle mentally. I feel like I’m constantly bombarded with differing opinions everywhere I look. But here’s the thing… people want to share, which I think it fine but they don’t necessarily want to see things from a different point of view and that’s a problem. We have to work together and respect each other’s thoughts and opinions. Rarely do people actually listen. I hope that this entire situation changes things… like really changes things. And changes people and how they approach others because that’s only way we’re going to grow and evolve.
Lizzie
http://www.lizzieinlace.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Lizzie, thank you so much for joining this discussion. I have been the same as you…having to duck away from all media because it just keeps breaking my heart. And how many times can we allow our hearts to be broken before we go into total defense mode (or run and hide like I do)? I have been practicing more active listening techniques when I talk to anybody these days just to make sure that I am practicing what I preach. We need to actively listen and consider our responses before speaking or acting. It is so important. And when we don’t often practice active listening, which most of us don’t myself included, we do have to retrain ourselves. Now is a great time to revisit that type of training. We are living in a very confusing time, but it will result in positive change as long as we stay the course. Keep shining your light into the world, my friend. We need it!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jacqui Berry
Thanks for hosting Shelbee. Have a super week. x Jacqui x
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Jacqui!
xoxo
Shelbee
Darlene
You are right that we don’t listen to one another. We are too busy thinking of our own response. Once again, my mantra: Listen to understand, not to speak. Easy to say, tough to do. The solutions do seem obvious but I’m afraid that we each have to confront our own biases and perspectives and explore them. Change begins with each of us. In the meantime, it has to be legislated. Something many of us do not like! Thanks for having the courage to put the topic out there…
xx Darlene
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Darlene, thank you so much for joining the conversation. It has long baffled me why people are so resistant to change. Without change, we literally would become extinct. It is so necessary. I have been so much more conscientious about actively listening in any conversation I am having on any topic. I realized how much we all, myself included, spend the listening time doing exactly what you said…planning our response. Before we even finish hearing what we are responding to. As I am practicing more active listening, I am also getting so much more value from the conversations. We all need to practice this skill more!
xoxo
Shelbee
Omaye
Listening is often easier said that done, especially when the opinion is not favourable to you. I feel like I sometimes communicate better when I don’t talk, I just listen even though I don’t agree. This is usually with issues that are trivial.
On the other hand, I don’t want to argue with someone who will never get it. I think Ive learned that people change when they want to, not when they are forced to. People come to realisations all on their own and most times, it’s already too late. It takes a lot for someone to say they may be wrong or even agree to disagree. I know that I cannot be friends with someone who holds strong views that I don’t agree with, even if the person is deemed to have good intentions. It just doesn’t sit well with me. We might be cordial but not friends.
Always love your post!
xxxx
https://ooomaye.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Omaye, thank you so much for joining this discussion! I have learned to respect all views even the ones that might absolutely disgust me. Because we are all entitled to our opinions and we arrive at them in a million different ways for a million different reasons. But we don’t need to be and we can’t really be friends with every single person. We choose our friends based on commonalities in beliefs and things like that. But I also think it is super important to challenge one another. It is how we reevaluate and measure if our own views still work for us. We change, the world around us changes, and it is only natural that our beliefs change as well. But so many people resist any change. I agree that people change on their own timelines. No one else can dictate that timeline. It helps to keep my frustrations minimized when I accept every single person I encounter in life right where they are, for who they are in that moment. It is not for me to judge their journey or how far they have come. This is definitely a topic that lends itself to endless discussion!
xoxo
Shelbee
ritu thakre
Nice!
Love this outfit and your hair looks great like this.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Ritu! I appreciate that.
xoxo
Shelbee
Lauren Renee Sparks
Amen. This is fantastically thoughtful my friend.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Lauren! I really appreciate that.
xoxo
Shelbee