Living in the Moment Right Meow with Rosegal & #SpreadTheKindness Link Up #135
Living in the moment. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do to enjoy life to the fullest? It is a way of life that I embraced at a very young age. I recently published an article on Medium, There is a Certain Beauty in Death, detailing my experience with witnessing death. A morbid topic, for sure, but an experience that literally changed the way I live my life.
It’s a strange thing really, looking back on the past 27 years, I don’t know how my life would have been different had I not watched one of my peers die in front of me at the very young age of 18 years. Events like that change a person. They force you to think about your own mortality when mortality is such a foreign concept to a juvenile mind.
I suppose I have always taken it for granted that my perspective shifted at such a young age. In that moment, I realized how very short life is and how much of it is not guaranteed. None of us know when our time is up. I don’t think we are meant to know. For if we did know how it would all play out, would the adventure of life really be as exciting as it is?
Walking through grief at that age and questioning your own mortality is never an easy process. I have talked some about guiding my 8 year old through the grief process as he continues to mourn the loss of his friend. The difference in the process between an 18 year old and an 8 year old is drastic, but none the less traumatic and life changing.
But I don’t want to focus on the trauma in this post. I want to highlight the part about it changing the lives of those who have been granted more time to live. More time to live. Every single day when we wake up, we have been granted another day to live. But yet we spend so much time in worry, in planning, in getting bogged down all too often in the junk that probably doesn’t matter.
When you watch life ripped prematurely from an unsuspecting person, it is like a slap of perspective reminding you to live. I was reminded at 18 years old. Through the past 27 years, I am certain there were times that I have forgotten how to live, but I always return to that perspective. Live. Right meow. Do the things that make you happy. Do the things that bring you joy. Fulfill yourself.
Toss judgements into the fire. Throw shame into the wind. Ignore the naysayers and the haters. Ask yourself every morning, “What will make me happy today?” And make the time to do it. Of course, we all have obligations and responsibilities that must be tended to in order to maintain our quality of life. But don’t let those obligations and responsibilities take away from the joy of living.
I think we all too often find ourselves saying no to so many things. We deprive ourselves of the smallest happinesses in order to prove some point to society. We are dedicated, we are motivated, we will not allow our vision to stray from the task at hand. We have goals and missions. We focus on them with tunnel vision. Yet we never know if we will be around long enough to actually reach the end point. Because we don’t know what, where, or when the end point is. So consider the end point meow…and do something every single day that will bring you exponential joy.
We went out on Sunday to photograph my new cat dress. After a few stops at various potential photo backdrops (the lighting was either terrible or we found ourselves trespassing-oops), we eventually made our way into Sackets Harbor. My husband and kids were dressed super casual and I was swaying beside them in my layers of black tulle and red heels. Oh, if you could have seen the looks that were being tossed in my direction. I felt sort of like an alien in a strange world of suspicious humans. At first, I was getting insecure and wanted to take the photos as quickly as possible, get back in the car, and head home. But then the kids asked if we could get ice cream at Strader’s Saturday’s, Sundaes, and More. I seriously told myself that I was not dressed appropriately for ice cream. As if there is an appropriate way to dress for ice cream. So I decided fuck it and off we marched for ice cream.
Life is short, eat the ice cream. Life is short, wear the crazy dress. Life is short, say fuck it to all the nonsense. Life is short, live it. Meow.
Have you ever experienced a traumatic event that changed your perspective and the way you live your life?
And now your featured favorites from last week.
Kathrine of Kathrine Eldridge Wardrobe Stylist shared her post, Summer Boho Mini Dress. The colors, the pattern, the cut of this dress are perfect for hot Summer days. And I am loving Kathrine’s bag and shoes, too. Head to toe…Summer glory!
Robin of Hello, I’m 60ish shared her post, Stylish Monday Link Up: Summer Maxi Dresses. Robin has featured a gorgeous variety of Summer maxi dresses in this post, but this white one reminds me of a Grecian goddess!
Like my cat dress? You can get one for yourself by shopping Rosegal’s Deals Sale. Use code RGT20 at checkout for additional savings. Rosegal also has some other really adorable cat dress options.
Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Parties.
Shop my outfit.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
68 Comments
Kellyann Rohr
You are right life is short! I can only imagine how watching your friend die changed your life. We never know what’s around the corner so we have to live our best life now!
xo,
Kellyann
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Kellyann, thanks so much for commenting! It’s strange how when we get so many years/decades removed from an event like that, we cannot even imagine how our lives would be if not for that kind of shift in perspective. But events like that definitely make it very clear that nothing and no one is guaranteed anything around here! So we had better enjoy the now!
xoxo
Shelbee
Julie | This Main Line Life
Oh, that’s tough to go through loosing a friend at 8. That’s young. It’s funny you’re talking about how it had changed your perspective when you were 18. I was just thinking about doing a post on a similar topic (a little different)… taking the time to define what’s really important to us. I think we spend so much of our time doing what seems to be the most pressing, but we often don’t get around to what’s actually most important.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Julie, thank you so much for commenting. I hope you do write that post because it is a message that we all need to read and be reminded of from time to time. We do get caught up in the pressing matters and lose sight of the important ones that make our lives full. Hopefully it doesn’t always require a traumatic event to change our perspective on these things.
xoxo
Shelbee
Karen
This post has inspired me at just the moment I needed it – thank you! I see a productive day ahead now. And what a fun look!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Karen, thank you so much for letting me know that! I am so glad that I was able to write it and share it at the moment when someone needed to read it. That is what makes this writing job so worthwhile! I hope your day and week and month are super productive!
xoxo
Shelbee
Tamar A Strauss-Benjamin
That dress is just the best!
Such a powerful message in your post too!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Tamar! I was going to keep the post light, but then it just sort of went there. And I have to follow the inspiration wherever it leads me.
xoxo
Shelbee
jodie filogomo
You always have the best subjects to talk about Shelbee. I used to be a play it safe kind of girl but it’s more fun to live (like you say). Enjoy life and especially go have ice cream.
OXOX
Jodie
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jodie, thank you so much! I think we all get caught in that play it safe mode from time to time. But we aren’t getting any younger, are we?! Our time will come when it comes whether we are playing it safe or having the time of our lives! Have the most fantastic day, my friend. Go do something crazy!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kathrine Eldridge
Thanks for this inspiring post! We all need to live like every day could be our last. Your cat dress is amazing and love the belt with it. Thank you for featuring my summer boho look too. Have a great week Shelbee!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Kathrine, thanks so much! It is so easy to lose that perspective when we get up in all of the daily obligations. It is important to do at least one thing every day that brings us exponential joy! I hope you have the most wonderful day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Gail
That post on Medium sounds interesting. Off for a read. Good for you having the ice cream. We all waste so much time fretting about what other people think. Seize the day! Cute dress and love the flashes of red.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Gail, thank you so much! It is a bit of a heavy read over there on Medium, but it’s short so it shouldn’t overwhelm too much. Thanks for checking it out and for your kind words. Have the most wonderful day, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Theresa Campbell
I sat by my Mom’s side as she was overcome by cancer at only 64 yo. It literally changed my life and I have since tried to practice living in the moment and enjoying every single day as much as possible. So I can totally relate to this post. On a lighter note, that kitty dress is adorable. It has a fun gothy pinup look to it. And those tights are fabulous. A totally appropriate outfit it to wear to an ice cream stand IMO!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Theresa, thank you so much for sharing your experience and for your kind compliment! This dress is super fun and after the fact, I realized it is totally appropriate for eating ice cream! Losing one’s parents at such a young age definitely changes our lives. My father was only 54 (I was 20) and my mother was 58 (I was 32) when they both passed from cancer. As I get nearer to their ages, I realize how short our time here can be. And it really does shift your perspective on so many things. I have committed to living healthier as well because of their illnesses at such young ages. Living healthy and IN the moment! That’s the way to do it! I hope you have the most wonderful day, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jessica A Jannenga
I can’t imagine losing a friend at a young age but understand your perspective. It is important to enjoy life, to make the most of it as you don’t know. Love the red cape and the kitty print, the red heels, all such fun! The ice cream place looks so good too.. glad you didn’t change- 🙂
enjoy your week!
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jess, thanks so much for stopping by! It is kind of a morbid topic that led to me an inspiring statement on how I live my life. But this is life, I guess. It is filled with all sorts of ups and downs. It is what we do with it all and how we respond that makes all the difference! And now I want some ice cream again! Have a fantastic week, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Nancy
First, I love that cute dress! And if I didn’t know you and walked pass you and your family, I would be seeing green of jealousy of that gorgeous woman wearing what she wants!!
I always, from when I was in puberty, said I wanted to live forever. I never want to leave this wonderful world we live in. And there I found myself at 33,in the hospital, more dead then alive. But 20 years later in still here, I won’t be living forever…. but who is?
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Nancy, thank you so much for this wonderful comment. This is a super fun dress and I don’t know why I was feeling so insecure. Probably because as we walked by a group of people in front of store, they immediately all stopped talking and then they started whispering and giggling. I was certain they were laughing at me! But they probably weren’t. And if they were, who cares anyway?
You have been such an inspiration to me with your story. You know better than most that we are not guaranteed anything here on earth, so we must live to the fullest! I want to live forever with you! But alas, we will all eventually pass and who knows…maybe the other side is even better!
xoxo
Shelbee
Brooke
I read your post on Medium too, it was so beautifully written! I don’t like to think about mortality, but it does make you appreciate your time here. Can’t take anything for granted!
-Brooke
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Brooke, thank you so much! Yeah, it is definitely not a topic that any of us really enjoy thinking about. But when you are faced with it, you kind of have to think about it. Live life in the now…for nothing is guaranteed!
xoxo
Shelbee
Laura
You make a lot of good points! When my husband and I went through infertility for 3 years and had a miscarriage, I think that definitely changed our perspective on life and on parenting. We’ve found ourselves to be more grateful for each moment and just more thankful in general. I think it helped us to look at the silver lining more (at least it did for me).
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Laura, thanks so much for sharing your experience. I know for many people who struggle with anything traumatic like infertility and miscarriages, losing loved ones, or life threatening illnesses, it usually shifts their perspective pretty dramatically. Some shift to the super negative and others to the super positive. I guess it is all in how we are each individually wired. I am glad that I am able to see the silver lining in these types of things, just like you are.
xoxo
Shelbee
Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom
Whenever I have a bad day or wake up on the wrong side of the bed, I try to remember that not everyday is guaranteed and that helps shift me into a better mindset! I love that red cape with this outfit and those tights! Ahh, you always have the most fun outfits. 🙂
Carrie
curlycraftymom.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Carrie, thanks so much! That is such a great way to shift perspective on a bad day! I went to bed in a bad mood last night and had to find a way to shift this morning! So far it has been a pretty productive and positive day.
xoxo
Shelbee
Jill
We really do need to live our best lives now and not take it for granted. That dress is fabulous and I’m loving this fun look!
Jill – Doused in Pink
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Jill! I agree with you completely! I hope you are having a wonderful week.
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
That dress is adorable, and paired with red fishnets so much fun. You look fantastic! Flaunt that beauty!
Even more beautiful is your perspective on life and the point that we need to live everyday. I think there is nothing more sad than the phrase, “I could be happy if,” or “I will be happy when….” I want to scream, “ Don’t wait to be happy!” First off happiness is not something that should be deferred. We all deserve to be happy every day. Secondly, it seems that people with this mindset are never happy for long after achieving the thing they would make them happy. Live now! Be happy now!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Michelle, thank you so much for this comment! Your perspective is brilliantly phrased! And you are right, those who wait for happiness to come never really do achieve it, do they? Happiness is in our perspective and it is happening right now if we let it. Rock on, my happy friend. Keep shining your light!
xoxo
Shelbee
Amy Christensen
There is definitely something about the hard bits of life, that make us realize how important it is to live. In the last few years I have adopted the mantra of living in the moment. It is good to plan, but not to be so consumed with the future that we forget about the here and now. Such a cute dress. You could dress that up into a sexy witch costume for Halloween and it would be perfect. Love that corset belt too. – Amy
https://stylingrannymama.com/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Amy, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and insight with me. I totally agree. My life requires some planning if I want to enjoy the fun things. But I am always flexible with my plans so that I never get disappointed by things out of my control.
Also, thanks for the costume idea! I had been thinking about what I am going to wear this year. I hadn’t even considered this as a witch dress, but I do have a witch hat and I can totally make that work!
xoxo
Shelbee
Darlene
Shelbee, your philosophy is right on. Life is short and can be snatched away at any times. We really don’t have time to dwell on the craziness but to live for NOW. Thanks for sharing. Love your cat look! Super fun, as always!
xx Darlene
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Darlene, thank you so much! I feel like I have wasted too much time already, so it is definitely time to get back to the business of living! I hope you have a wonderful day, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
Looking very sweet and sassy. Love the dress and love the fishnets over the tights. Very nice.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Patrick! You really are getting a handle on women’s fashion!
xoxo
Shelbee
Anna at Muttonstyle
This is another precious post. My oldest lost her best friend at 12. It was devastating to all of us and she wont be forgotten. Thank you for sharing and take good care of your boy and his grief.
Do join my linkup btw.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Anna, thank you so much for sharing your experience. We are getting through thte process one step at a time. It will be a long journey, I am sure, and one that he won’t soon forget.
xoxo
Shelbee
Jacqui Berry
Amen and meow to that! Nice post Shelbee. J Mummabstylish
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Ha. Thanks, Jacqui!
xoxo
Shelbee
Gina
I was much older than 18 when I experienced grief and traumatic loss for the first time but it had the same profound impact on my life for sure. I do think it must be a bit lonely for people who experience the kind of tragedy you did at such a young age when your peer group just has NO clue what you’re dealing with. Anyway, glad you were able to make the photoshoot happen and reward the photography team with ice cream!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Gina, thanks so much for sharing your experience. Navigating childhood grief really is a task that no one is properly prepared for. How could we be? I think loss at any point in our lives has tendency to shift our perspective pretty dramatically. Life is short, eat the ice cream!
xoxo
Shelbee
Monica
You’ve always been someone I look up to when it comes to boosting my confidence, but girl, lately you’ve been killing it! All of your outfits have been so freaking cute!
Monica
http://www.jerseygirltexanheart.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aw, Monica, thank you so much for that! You totally just made my day! Because you inspire me, too!
xoxo
Shelbee
Emma Peach
That dress is just adorable Shelbee! It looks purrfect with the red shoes and cape! And those pockets are so cute!
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aw, thanks so much, Emma! I had a feeling you would like this one!
xoxo
Shelbee
Lauren Sparks
I’m not a cat person, but love how much fun you had with this dress. I do love ice cream, but it doesn’t always love me! laurensparks.net
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Lauren! I had ice cream for lunch today and now I don’t feel so well! Ha. I guess I should have had actual food first.
xoxo
Shelbee
Maureen
What a great post Shelbee! I’ll be honest, living in the moment slips my mind when life gets busy. I need a moment of a breather before I shut it all down! But I do agree that life is short and we should live in the moment. I do feel that we as individuals are the roadblock to our own happiness. For example, while I think most of my family members will agree with you that life is short, I can guarantee you that most, if not all, will be back to their worrying after this conversation is over. So a reminder like this is always appreciated because yes we aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. Btw, I love this cat dress Shelbee. It’s cute and unique. The pockets are also so fun! You are rocking this dress and look – so glad you did because you look beautiful. I hope your day is going well so far and happy Wednesday!
Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Maureen, thank you so much for your kind words and for joining the discussion about living in the moment. I think we all get sucked back into the worries of daily life very easily. So it is important to remind each other and ourselves that life is short and we should take those moments to enjoy the beautiful, wonderful little things! But of course, we still have obligations and responsibilities that must be priorities at certain times. It’s a tough balance to find, isn’t it? I hope you are doing well, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Chrissy
Death is so sad, isn’t it? It matters not that it happens to each and every one of us. That does nothing for the pain, though it does bring about acceptance. I find it interesting, almost to the point of my brain hurting (lol – doesn’t take much) when I study Genesis and realize it was never meant to be that way. In the garden of Eden there was no sickness, death or pain – just perfection. And the whole nude thing? Well, there was no need for clothes because there was complete purity of mind and heart. I try to imagine it and my mind fails to picture what it would be like. I don’t want to sit on rocks, grass ect with no clothes – haha! Anyway, then account continues with the serpent who began drawing Eve in and twisting God’s words. Eve responds with another slight twist on God’s words while Adam stands by and says nothing. But here’s where my brain cramps…the serpent tells Eve that if she eats the fruit she will not die but be like God, knowing good and evil (it’s not the “knowing” that would be sin, it’s the act of doing evil, disobeying God etc that was fully understood) . And she liked that idea so she ate the fruit and passed it onto Adam. Why was it not enough to live in perfection, walking and talking with God on a daily basis? Why did they want more? Then I look at my own life and realize I’m not much different from Eve. I think I know better than God more than I’d care to admit. So anyway, they didn’t trust God, they questioned His motives and instructions. They disobeyed and sin entered the perfect world. Anyway, there is so much depth and theology in those first few chapters and you’re probably like, “what in the world Chrissy??”. “What has this got to do with making each moment count/living in the moment??” I think my mind went there because I 100% agree that life passes quickly and to live without purpose or meaning is tragically sad. To live in fear of what others think is not God’s plan for us (though I often do!). I mean the plan and purpose did not end with Adam and Eve experiencing hardship, living outside of the garden, and eventually dying. No God made another way to have communion with Him, to use our gifts and skills in ways that are unique to us individually and shine for Him. And that “way” is spelled out all through the Old Testament, leading us to the New Testament when Jesus comes on the scene. Man, the fun conversations we could have over coffee – I just know it. Who else’s blog page do I share thoughts so openly on?? You’re a wonderfully, unique individual Shelbee. I’m glad to be reminded to more about all kinds of topics…I want to be challenged! Oh and your kitty dress is so fun and I can absolutely imagine the looks you guys received as you walked through town. Glad you ended up at ice cream and got those pics!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Chrissy, I absolutely love when you start waxing philosophical in my comments! While I had studied religion in college, my expertise is no where near the level of yours so I do appreciate when you get down to the nitty gritty and interpret it for me. It does make the brain hurt, for sure though. But that is a natural state of mind for me…my brain gets aching all the time with the stuff that runs through it! Have you read The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck (I may have asked you that before)? He talks about the same ideas in there about knowledge not being the issue in the Garden of Eden. And that if Eve had just asked God the questions she had instead of being deceitful about it, he would have answered. Dr. Peck also talks about how God wanted us to be just like him, but we were the ones who messed it up with deceit. Hmmm…deceit. Now there is a word that I could write an entire blog post about (today’s post is all about the word “shame”). We could definitely have some wonderfully profound conversations over coffee, my friend! One day, some day, we will make that happen! Thanks so much for this thought-provoking comment and for the lovely compliment. You, too, are a wonderfully unique and very special woman and I am blessed to call you friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Chrissy
Ok. I need to check out that book. Some folks have such a way with words. Deceit…now that I have children I feel like I have a mirror of my actions walking around in – parading my own imperfections. lol. Anyway, I will look forward to reading your thoughts on “shame”.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh my goodness, our children definitely reflect our imperfections right back at us, don’t they?
xoxo
Shelbee
Alice
First I want to say that this dress is so playful and I love the little cat paw pockets. And secondly I want to say that I feel a little sad that your son lost his friend at eight years old. I didn’t think too much about death when I was younger but now that I’m older and I have kids I see death so differently. I don’t want to die because I have so much to live for right now and so much that I still want to do. It’s hard to except that part of reality and the fact that we are not promised tomorrow but I’m grateful to God each day I get to wake up and enjoy another day
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Alice, thanks so much for the comment and for sharing your thoughts on the topic. It is a topic that none of us are really comfortable discussing, but then we are faced with it in so many forms that we are forced to address it. I am with you, I thank God every day for giving me another opportunity to make a difference. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Donna Walmsley
I like your “fuck it” attitude – it reminds me of myself! Lol!! Life is too short and you sound like you’ve nailed just the right formula for making the best of it!! I live between two little backwaters in south east Australia and I always get the side-eye when I go out wearing my berets, fishnets or retro bits and bobs but that’s okay as each to their own and as you say “fuck it!” because Im living my life – they’re not!! Thank you for sharing, Shelby!
Donna 🧚🏻♀️❤️🙏
https://donnadoesdresses.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Donna, thanks so much! I get so many sideway glances and raised eyebrows at how I dress and the way I think about most things. But I will stand firm in my beliefs and stay true to myself. Even in the face of all judgments. But it does get exhausting sometimes! Haha. At least I know where to find a good strong supportive community, right here in blogland! I appreciate that so much! Stay fabulous, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
ROBIN LAMONTE
Shelbee,
Thank you, sweet friend, for featuring me today!
I love your cat dress and how you are living in the moment!
I think we all struggle with mortality but I don’t dwell on it.
I’m in my 60s and healthy so I’m seizing the day.
Who knows what lies ahead for me but today I’m living my best life now!
Hugs,
Robin
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Robin, thanks so much! And that is really the the best way to live! Right now, in the moment, embracing all the little wonders of each day!
xoxo
Shelbee
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Claire Justine
Oh no, what a thing to have to go through at 8 🙁 Sorry to read this…
Love your dress, great outfit, just the kind of things I love. Thanks for sharing at The Wednesday Blog Hop, hope to see you again tomorrow.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Claire. It has definitely been a process getting through the grief. But this is life. You never know what it will throw at you and you just have to build coping mechanisms as this things happen.
xoxo
Shelbee
Sarah
As much as I want to go back to my pre-baby weight ~ I do love ice cream and most of all, eating and enjoying it with my children. I still try to eat healthy but life is short and I do not want to wallow in misery wanting to lose weight and missing the joy of an ice cream stop with my littles. Pretty soon, they will leave the nest and then no more big excuses for me to eat ice cream daily. lol
great post and perspective on experiencing death and trauma. Thanks for sharing.
This week’s link up is live. I hope to see you there.
Sarah http://disisd.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Sarah, thanks so much for sharing your insight on the topic! I agree completely, we must enjoy the ice cream every now and then. And sometimes, it’s even okay to completely overindulge! We went visiting family and friends yesterday and my kids had ice cream 4 times! Oops. Oh well. Summer is almost over. We must enjoy what’s left of it!
xoxo
Shelbee
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