Knowledge is Power: The Benefits of Bibliotherapy
Knowledge is power. Being informed of the things around us gives a certain amount of control. Education is the basis of progress. Observation makes us more aware. Awareness gives us an edge. Insight can make incredible things happen. And wisdom brings healing. None of us can do it alone. People need people. And sometimes people need a therapist.
*This is a sponsored post. However, all thoughts, opinions, and experiences are entirely my own.
I want to share part of my mental health story here…the beginning of it actually. When I was 26 years old, I left a marriage that was not working for me. This event quite literally turned me on my head. I knew it was the right decision for me at the time, but I did not know the downward spiral into the depths of mental illness that would follow quickly thereafter. I unknowingly spun into a 6 month manic phase that could top the charts in the history of mania. I was working a very demanding job in the financial services industry which required a lot of travel. I was attending law school at night (4 nights a week to be exact). And the other 3 nights, I was waitressing at a local bar…because I was bored. Boredom is a strange thing. And it can make you do even stranger things. Like add 24 more hours of work onto a 60 hour work week and a full course load in law school. You may be wondering…when did I sleep? Honestly, I didn’t. Not much anyway. Mania has this incredible way of making you feel invincible, unstoppable, energized, stimulated, and excited to conquer the world in a day. The downside of mania, however, is that there is a downside. And when the downside comes, it comes hard. The crash after a manic episode can you leave you feeling defeated, broken, hopeless, helpless, and completely beyond repair. So you start chasing the mania like an addict chases a high and when you find it, you hope it lasts forever. Which it never does. The chase can often lead to you to places of self-destruction. And the mania always ends in a life-threatening crash.
For me, my phases in and out of mania and depression were long extended episodes. The mania often lasted months at a time which made it very difficult to diagnose. In fact, when I first consulted a psychiatrist, I was so far into a manic phase which lasted for the first few months of consultation with my new doctor. This created difficulty in diagnosing because it most likely seemed to her that I was just a high energy, focused young woman with goals to achieve. It wasn’t until months into our regular sessions that I crashed and she was finally able to witness the cycles and diagnose me with Bipolar I Disorder. Bipolar I Disorder manifests itself as periods of severe and extensive episodes of mania and depression. In severe cases like mine, you never really reach a normal level of stability. You constantly exist in one extreme polar state or the other. It is exhausting. And it doesn’t take long for the body to start breaking down in a multitude of ways.
Fortunately for me, my doctor was not one to slap on a diagnosis, hand me a bottle of pills, and send me unguided on my way into the dark abyss. Her approach looked more like this, “This is what I think is going on and now you need to go educate yourself about this disorder before we proceed.” Fortunately for her, I took her advice to heart and began reading every damn thing I could get my hands on that spoke about Bipolar Disorder and mental illness. To say that I became a bit obsessed is an understatement. To say that it saved my life is a very accurate statement. Without using the exact term, her prescription to me was Bibliotherapy. If you are not familiar with that term, it is a therapeutic approach that encourages mental health patients to read and educate themselves about their diagnoses and to discover self-help methods in identifying triggers and resolving issues. It is an approach that is often used in cases of mood disorders, not only for the benefit of obtaining useful knowledge, but also the act of reading itself has proven to have beneficial effects in mental health treatment.
Just to be clear, I was also prescribed a variety of different mood stabilizers, anti-depressants, antipsychotics, and sleep aids. For nearly a decade I took the pills. Sometimes I didn’t take them as prescribed. Either I decided I didn’t want to experience the numbing feeling that often accompanies psychotropic medications and I would stop taking them all together. Or I decided that I wanted to be completely numb and I would take too many. Neither method had favorable results. So I kept reading and reading and reading. I read so much that I could probably call myself an expert. But I won’t. Because that is unethical. I can say with confidence, however, that I am educated on most matters regarding Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety, Suicidal Depression, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I also can say that I learned all sorts of coping mechanisms that effectively deal with my Bipolar Disorder to the point that I have been medication free for a decade.
There was a period of time when I was convinced that I would end my own life before I ever came close to healing. It was at that time I became obsessed with the concept of suicide. Some would consider an obsession of this sort unhealthy and dangerous. But I took a bibliotherapy approach to it and began reading all the books about suicide. Once I really understood what happens in the psyche that causes such hopelessness, I was able to start slowly climbing out of that darkness. It was my obsession with suicide that actually saved me from suicide. Because I read and I became educated and I found ways to get myself back to a good place. For years, I lived on the edge of suicide. It was always in my head as a possible resolution to the mental anguish I was experiencing. I held firm to the idea that if ever it became unbearable, the control was in my hands to end it. But as I read more and learned more about how these feelings manifest, I began learning how to deal with them, treat them, and ultimately change them.
So if you or someone you love is dealing with mental health issues, I encourage you to take the first step into the realm of bibliotherapy, if you haven’t already. It is so important for the patient but it is also very important for their support network and caretakers to understand all the little nuisances associated with each different diagnosis. When you gain an understanding of the demon you are fighting, you have a chance at defeating that demon. Just like in any war, knowledge is the most valuable weapon. And it can help you win a fight against mental illness. Speaking from experience, when you win that kind of battle, you really do become strong beyond your own comprehension, confident, empowered, powerful, invincible, and unbreakable. Mental illness does not have to torment you for the rest of your life, you really can find your way to a healthy and fulfilled existence. I am a real life example of that.
When I speak of my victory in this particular battle, the battle for my life, I am always reminded of my favorite quote ever by Theodore Roosevelt.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
If you would like me to provide you with a list of resources and books that really helped me in my recovery, please let me know which topics interest you. I will gladly dig through my shelves of literature and share the knowledge!
Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
28 Comments
Tamar
Love the pop of color in the sweater!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Tamar!
xoxo
Shelbee
Maria | passion fruit, paws and peonies
Wow this is such a powerful piece of writing. Thank you for being so honest and clear. I’m sure this will help anyone who has or knows someone with this ‘condition’. The nearest thing I can relate it too is anorexia I had as a young girl. I was willing to die as the thought of becoming a woman was so overwhelming. I have always appreciated hearing other peoples experiences. You have such a kind heart Shelbee xx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Maria, thank you so much for sharing your story with me as well. I battled some anorexic tendencies as a very young girl, too. I realized that it was the only thing I had control over at the time of my life. Fortunately, I pulled out of that before it got too out of hand. But I guess the trade off was that the Bipolar snuck up on me in the long run. I guess if it wasn’t one thing, it was going to be another. I sure do hope my writing and sharing my experiences is helpful to others. Then I know I have found my purpose and the reason for my struggle. I appreciate your support and your kind words, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Julia
Thank you for sharing such an open and honest post. It sounds like you have been through so much and it’s very brave of you to share your story. I’m sure your advice will benefit a great number of people who are suffering from similar issues.
Julia x
http://www.thevelvetrunway.com/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Julia, thank you so much for that validation. I do hope that I benefit others by sharing my story. That is of the utmost importance to me. Thank you for stopping by and have a wonderful day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Aimee
Such a deep and thought provoking post! I always learn more about you with each post and how you just put it out there. So inspiring. People often hear about all of the negatives of certain disorders, or all of the different meds needed, like it is all just black and white. But like your sweater, this is NOT the case!!!
I love your history of how researching it ad naseum, mixed w meds and or therapists at certain times when needed, all led to where you are now!!! I too believe that knowledge is power. It has helped me to try to be a better mom, wife, friend and member of society !!!!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aimee, thanks so much! I guess sometimes it is easier for me to explain some of my journey in writing than it is in speaking. Which makes sense, I guess, especially since when you and I are in conversation we get all too easily distracted and sidetracked! Great analogy, by the way, about my sweater and the lack of black and white-ness in life!
xoxo
Shelbee
jacqui
Love this jumper Shelbee, I’m really into stripes atm, I’ve seen one recently that I might have to acquire. Thanks for linking up today with the #chicandstylish linkup party. x Jacqui Mummabstylish
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jacqui, thanks so much! I usually don’t go for so many colors in a striped pattern but this one really appealed to me! It is bright and cheerful. Have a great weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
I learned a lot by reading this. It is something that we need to be talking about in this society. Very powerful. I love how you decided to help yourself. Very cool and very powerful. Thanks for sharing.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Patrick! And I agree completely that we need to talk about it. Talking it about normalizes it and helps to break down the stigma attached. There is no shame in any illness and this is part of my mission in raising awareness and helping others. I really appreciate your support. Have a wonderful weekend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Amy Christensen
Thank you so much, Shelbee for a peek into your world. I have only ever known a couple people who were diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and I didn’t know them well enough to get to know them or their struggles. It sounds like Bibliotherapy is a great way to begin learning about anything that we struggle with whether it be a mental illness or a physical problem. When I was originally diagnosed with irritable bowel disorder, I read all sorts of things and it really helped me feel better about my situation. Thanks again for sharing yourself with us. We learn so much from you! – Amy
http://stylingrannymama.com/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Amy, thank you so much for sharing your story with me as well. I am glad you mentioned bibliotherapy with respect to physical illnesses as well. I thought of adding a piece in my post about that but it was getting quite long enough. Although bibliotherapy is generally prescribed in cases of mental illness, I agree with you completely how helpful it is for any diagnosis…mental or physical. Educating ourselves about what our bodies or minds are going through is never a bad thing and it better equips us to be the best advocates for ourselves when dealing with doctors and such. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have the most wonderful weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Marilee Gramith
I had never heard about “bibliotherapy” before reading this post Shelbee! What a very interesting, logical and compelling way to equip the patient with tools to begin looking outside of themselves and see that what they’re dealing with isn’t a flaw in their character but a complex set of emotions and behaviors that are symptoms of an illness. It really makes sense that this would allow for some stepping away from self blame, from feeling only confusion and pain to learn the convincing and empowering facts that can free the perspective. REALLY absorbing stuff!
This colorful stripey sweater is reminiscent of a rainbow and you have happily shared a little pot of gold in this post Shelbee.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jude, thank you so much for this comment! It really is amazing how many books were prescribed to me that I found fascinating and ever so helpful in my journey. Being of the more insightful nature and having always found a great escape in books, it was the perfect remedy for my situation. And I am forever grateful to my wonderful psychiatrist as well as the two very brilliant therapists that I had worked with through this time in my life. They knew exactly what I needed even when I didn’t! I hope you have a lovely weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Elizabeth Ashley Ramsey
This is one of the best layman’s descriptions of bipolar that I’ve ever read. Really helps me to envision and understand what living in that condition is like. My nemesis has always been anxiety/depression so I am a bit (tongue in cheek) envious of those manic phases. But like you said, the crash seems painful and hard. With the bravery of people like yourselves, my hope is in the next decade we will be able to eradicate and lingering stigma on mental illnesses as well as increase the affordability for treatment on same. From the fashion lover in me, LOVING the color combo in your sweater!
Elizabeth | http://nattygal.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Elizabeth, thank you so much for sharing a bit of your story with me. Anxiety and depression are beasts to battle as well. And don’t get me wrong, I loved the manic phases when I was in them…until they became too much. Anxiety has been a tremendous nemesis of mine as well, but I think I have essentially defeated that one. Although every now and again, it sneaks up on me and I can’t get a handle on it and man does that piss me off! Here’s to opening the discussion and breaking down those barriers. Keep talking about it, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Bojana
Your story, like all peoples stories, has such depth and truth and wisdom within it. I am one of the lucky ones who hasn’t had these experiences, not because life has been easy, but for whatever reason I don’t have extreme lows and highs. For people like me it’s extremely important to get educated, to learn from peoples stories and experiences, and though we can’t truly understand, we can be more empathetic and aware that people are effected differently. We can offer a network of support free of judgement and our advice that is often unhelpful in these situations. Thank you for sharing and teaching.
bosbodaciousblog.blogspot.ca
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Bo, thank you so much for this very insightful comment. It really means a lot to me because empathy is so important in the grand scheme of things to be able to help and support one another even when we may not totally understand what they are going through. There are many things I don’t quite grasp either, but I figure if I accept each and every person right where they are in their journey, I am that much more able to relate and been empathic for them…free of judgment and filled with love. I am so glad that my writing is helping to educate on the topics that I know best. Just as I appreciate when others share their knowledge with me. I wish you a very beautiful weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Laura || Walking in Memphis in High Heels
Thank you so much for sharing this post. I like the idea of the Bibliotherapy, to educate yourself about your mental illness. I never heard of that but it makes sense, it also lets you see what triggers are which can be why the episodes start. Such an educational post!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Laura, thank you so much. I really appreciate this comment. It validates what my mission is in trying to educate and help spread awareness about mental health while knocking down the barriers of stigma that are attached to it.
xoxo
Shelbee
Ada
Dear Shelbee, I have known your battle with mental illness and bi-polar disorder and reading more and more posts from you in regards to this is eye-opening, especially to someone like myself who fortunately hasn’t experienced similar things. I am so happy you are intelligent, smart, brave, clever and open-minded enough to study and read a lot about your condition through bibliotherapy and ‘save’ yourself in the process. I believe every life is worth-living and should be celebrated every single day, though we all have days when we feel and look like crap (today is one of those days for me). Thank you for this rich, very well-written, raw, brutally-honest and truly learning post. I appreciate you opening up and I bet it felt great to do so, too. I am sure this resonates with more people than we think too. Perhaps (actually most likely) with this post you are ‘saving’ another lost soul or several, in the process. Knowledge IS power! You are such a brave, strong and beautiful individual. I am so glad this is behind you!
On a style note, I love you in color. That rainbow striped sweater is gorgeous and matches the stunning rainbow bird necklace beautifully. I know how you feel about birds too. That necklace is just darling!
I wish you a great week ahead, my friend!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Ada, thank you so much for such a beautifully insightful comment. I appreciate your friendship and support so much. This really is what I am so passionate about doing with my blog. I have to share this message and spread awareness. It is essential right now to so many. And thank you also for the lovely compliment on my colorful sweater! I hope you have the most wonderful week as well!
xoxo
Shelbee
Helen C.
Loved every word of this post! Thank you again for sharing. I am very glad you had found the right doctor at the right moment. I didn´t know about bibliotherapy but I will investigate a little more.
Also I loved your earrings in this post, hehe
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Helen, thank you so much for reading! I am very glad that I found the right doctor as well. And I have these earrings in 4 colors because I loved them that much! Have a wonderful week, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Paula Short
Amen Shelbee, Praise be to God. What a powerful testimony you have shared. Thank you it was such a blessing to read. Blessings.
Visiting from Inspire Me Monday #5
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Paula, thank you so much! I have had the quite the journey through the darkness of mental illness and I feel obligated to share my success stories in order to help others who may travel a similar path alone. I never understood “callings” until I started blogging and then it became it very clear to me that these are the stories I am supposed to share. I really appreciate your kind words!
xoxo
Shelbee