Is Your Relationship Going Anywhere? & #SpreadTheKindness Link Up #270
Is your relationship going anywhere? How can you tell? Will it be stuck where it is right now and is that enough for you? Would you like to see it progress into something more? Is the other person on the same page as you? Whenever you are involved in a relationship with another person, these are questions that will naturally arise at some point.
If you are currently in a relationship that has reached a crossroads, consider the following three questions to decide which way might be the best way for you and your relationship to go. Remember to be honest with yourself in your answers otherwise you will continue to stay stuck.
Do you want your relationship to go somewhere?
When you reach any sort of relationship crossroads, it is important to first acknowledge if you even want the relationship to continue moving forward. Perhaps this crossroads is the place where you part ways and end the relationship altogether. Or maybe you realize that you don’t share the same picture of the distant future but are not quite ready to call it quits yet.
The most important thing is to be able to openly and honestly communicate these feelings to your partner so that you can navigate the best course of action for taking your relationship into the future. If one partner has dreams of wedding bells and F color diamonds but the other partner is not there yet, it is essential that you have the necessary conversations so that you aren’t both left extremely disappointed.
Are you both happy with the relationship?
Another important consideration is whether or not you are both happy with the life that you are living and the nature of your relationship. Do you feel abundant happiness and joy every day or are you merely just content and comfortable? Of course, we all crave comfort within our most intimate relationships, but excitement and passion are the very things that keep the fires burning. We should look forward to spending time with the people we have relationships with. If you do not look forward to seeing your partner with eager delight, that is something that is worth investigating further.
Everyone knows that feeling of butterflies in the belly because it truly is one of the best feelings ever. And we all deserve to get butterflies with our romantic partners whether we have known them for 2 weeks or 20 years.
Has your relationship progressed at all?
When you think about the timeline of your relationship, consider these types of questions. Has your relationship actually progressed beyond merely casual dating? Do you spend nights together? Do you live together? Are you already engaged? Have you met each other’s friends and families?
These questions are important in most intimate and romantic relationships. Both parties in every relationship need to understand the wants and needs of the other partner so that informed decisions can be made about the future.
If your relationship remains casual because you both desire that style of relationship, that’s great. But if one partner wants something more or even something different from what the other partner is willing or able to provide, what is the point in continuing to move forward? Don’t pretend to be in a happy relationship if you aren’t feeling as happy as you would like to. We all deserve to feel extraordinary love and happiness in all of our relationships. But we can’t get what we want or need if we are unable to communicate clearly what those wants and needs are.
It can be a difficult process to re-evaluate our relationships, especially those that are the most intimate, but taking the time to critically think about the nature of our relationships is important for our overall health and happiness. If you find this type of introspective work to be too challenging, you can always seek the help of a professional counselor to help guide you through the process.
But always remember to love yourself unconditionally within the context of every relationship. For without self-love, how can you possibly know how to love another?
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Shelbee
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shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
38 Comments
Mica - Away From The Blue
These are good tips! it’s important to be open and honest about what you want in a relationship for sure 🙂 Hubby is definitely my best friend so we talk about a lot of things! 🙂
Hope you are having a good week. We are enjoying the Easter school holidays 🙂
Thanks for the link up!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Mica! My husband is absolutely my best friend and my favorite person on earth. It definitely makes the relationship so much easier to navigate because we both feel the same in that regard! It makes my heart so happy to hear that you have the same kind of beautiful bond with your husband! My kids are also on school break this week. They have been driving me crazy so far! I hope you have a happy Easter, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Kathrine Eldridge
The important thing with relationships if dealing with the difficulties after all the infutiation is gone. God has helped my hubby and I doing tough times. Thanks for the link up Shelbee.
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Kathrine! Oh, I hear you on dealing with the difficulties when the new relationship energy has worn off. That is where open and honest communication and a whole lot of faith come into play, for sure!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jennifer
Thanks for the tips! Communication is key!
Jennifer
Curated by Jennifer
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Jennifer! Communication is absolutely the key to making all relationships work!
xoxo
Shelbee
April
I have been visiting and revisiting your site all week because of the through and current list of link-ups you posted. SO HELPFUL. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Also I love how you are encouraging kindness and positivity.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh wow, April, thank you so much! I am so glad to hear that my link up list is helpful! I created that list many years ago and am always revising it with the hopes that others would use it, too! So you kind of just made my day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Niky
Thanks for hosting the link party, Shelbee. The baby is keeping our family busy, so I haven’t been around as much, but appreciate your party nonetheless!
Niky
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Niky! And please, no apologies are necessary! You go enjoy all the moments with that sweet baby and don’t worry about comments on my blog! Babies and baby snuggles are much more important than blog comments!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jessica A Jannenga
Good points! It is so important to have good communication and to say when something is not right. We both work from home, so we are together most of the time. Of course, i enjoy spending that time with him !
It is important not to let things get stale and to appreciate one another.
Have a great day!
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Jess! You and Roy definitely have something special! I have seen how much love you both have for one another so I imagine that you both enjoy your work from home situation. I also love spending time with Jeff but after he just did 5 months straight of night shift, I was ready for him to get back to day shift and leave the house! But not because I saw him too much. He was sleeping during the day and so I felt like I had to be super quiet and tiptoe around until he woke up!
xoxo
Shelbee
Christina Morley
Thanks for the informative and thought-provoking post! Have a lovely week!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Tina! I really appreciate that. Have a wonderful day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Lizzie
These are really great tips! It helps to ask these type of questions and answer them honestly. I defintiely lucked out with my husband but I’ve had to ask similar questions when it comes to family relationships and even friendships where I had to make difficult decisions. It’s important to surround yourself with the right people that help us grow!
Lizzie
http://www.lizzieinlace.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Lizzie! I agree with you completely! These questions are great for evaluating any relationship whether it is a romantic and intimate one or just a platonic friendship. If your needs aren’t being met and you are unhappy in any relationship, you do have the choice to reevaluate it and find your happiness. I know you and I have both discussed friend break ups in the past and I am really happy that you translated this article to those kinds of relationships, too!
xoxo
Shelbee
Anita Ojeda
Even if you’re married, these are still great questions to ask! It’s easy to fall into patterns of behavior that may have served you well through one epoch of your life, but need to change as the seasons change :).
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Anita! I agree with you completely. In the 14 years that I have known my husband, we have both gone through at least 2 different major transitions, the kinds of transitions that can ruin relationships if you are unable to communicate openly and honestly with one another. But we have thrived through it all because we are willing to talk, accept, understand, and be compassionate with one another. That is the foundation of the strongest unions, I believe. The ability to communicate and transition.
xoxo
Shelbee
ratnamurti
Interesting comments about relationships, Shelbee. When I look back over the years, women were encouraged to keep trying with difficult situations. Amazing the pressure that society put on us, for so long. Nowadays, it’s way better. We now know not to put up with “bad” relationships. Thankfully.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Ratnamurti. In my experience, I have found that both women and men feel all sorts of societal and cultural pressure to stay in unhappy and unhealthy relationships. Couples stay together for some of the strangest reasons and rarely is the reason ever “because I want to stay”. Everyone deserves to find their utmost happiness! It is much better today than 100 years ago and all progress is good progress.
xoxo
Shelbee
Rena
Checking in from time to time can be quite valuable in any relationship.
Rena
http://www.finewhateverblog.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I absolutely agree, Rena! Valuable and necessary. More folks should try to openly communicate with their partners. It’s amazing what can happen when everyone is open and honest!
xoxo
Shelbee
Laura Bambrick
You bring up some really good points and questions to ask yourself! Thanks for sharing this!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Laura! I appreciate that. I hope you are having a lovely week!
xoxo
Shelbee
Marsha Banks
I just have to chuckle at this post, Shelbee! Nigel and I started dating in 1973! So, we’ve been together for almost 50 years! I remember when that used to be a long time! Now, it seems like only yesterday! I can still recall our first awkward date as well as the day he called to ask me out! All such lovely memories!
Thanks for the link up!
http://marshainthemiddle.com/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Marsha, I love this comment so much! 50 years of relationshipping is something to be proud of, for sure! It’s true what they say about time flying when you are having fun! Jeff and I have been together for 14 years which is twice as long as the time I was with my first husband. The 7 years with husband one felt like an eternity because they were some of the worst years of my life. The 14 years with Jeff have flown by in the blink of eye because I have never been happier and it just keeps getting better! Thanks for sharing your wonderful memories with me!
xoxo
Shelbee
xoxo
Shelbee
Lovely
These are important questions to ask yourself when in a relationship. Thanks for these tips!
xoxo
Lovely
http://www.mynameislovely.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Lovely! I appreciate that. Have a wonderful day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Gail
Thought provoking post Shelbee. The toughest part of any relationship is moving beyond the giddy in love phase to creating a solid and supportive framework to last for years. Ironically both posts I added are related to weddings!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Gail! That transition can be tough for many people but open and honest communication is the only way to get there. In my experience, relationships break apart when open and honest communication aren’t there. I wrote an article a while ago about effective communication and it is one of my favorite posts to date. I should recycle it! Looking forward to your weeding posts now!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
And to me, just as important as knowing what you want in a relationship is knowing what you won’t tolerate. Mine were (and are):
-No anger issues
-Just because you have had a bad day does not entitle you to use me as an emotional punching bag
-Don’t make me responsible for your happiness; that’s your job.
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Right on, Michelle! I particularly appreciate the last one…I am not responsible for your happiness. If you can’t make yourself happy, you’re doomed if you expect others to do it for you…and doubly doomed if you expect me to do it for you because I draw that same hard line as you.
xoxo
Shelbee
Catherine, Not Dressed As Lamb
Oh wow Shelbee what a well-written and poignant post… so much to think about. I think so many people stay in relationships these days simply due to circumstances and not because of how well (or badly) the relationship is going. Very thought-provoking *well done*
Thank you for hosting, hope you’re well & much love to you
C xx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aw, thanks so much, Catherine! Ever since my husband and I began living an open polyamorous lifestyle, I find myself getting more and more frustrated with people who stay in unhappy situations just because the transition is too difficult. I don’t ever want to sound like my way is better. But it is definitely better for me. I have lived both ways and thankfully I was able to leave a very unhappy marriage and take the time to heal and grow so I could be my authentic self within every relationship. Once you refuse to compromise your own authenticity, I think all relationships become easier…easier to stay in or easier to leave…whichever is best. Much love back at you, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
So very interesting and thought provoking. Made me think about things. Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful rest of the week.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Patrick! You know I like to give food for thought! I hope you are having a fabulous week, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Hazlo Emma
Thanks for the feature of our post on the Very Hard Year 2020💪, even though 2022 does not seem any better.
Am so happy that you are addressing this issue on relationships going anywhere, because we have utterly lost family units and as a result, children, because of selfishness.
For how long will we keep sweeping matters under the rug? Peer pressure is killing the core of society faster than we are blinking.
Further to your comment on ‘getting more and more frustrated with people staying in unhappy situations’, remember the patriachy laws and beliefs passed down, and misconceptions too play a huge role – until it is so late to intervene (death of a partner), that’ss when we all have the ‘aha’ moment!
Oh what pretenders we are? Shame on us!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Shame on us, indeed! I have been trying to rid my children of such misconceptions and hand-me-down beliefs that are just no longer relevant but society is not helping me! We definitely have our work cut our for us. Keeping doing the good work, my friend! The world needs it!
xoxo
Shelbee