Is Kindness Difficult? and #SpreadTheKindness Link Up #91

October 2, 2018 / 75 Comments

Is kindness difficult? This question popped into my head today when I made a quick stop at Lowe’s to pick up a gift card. I legitimately could not find where the gift cards were located. In most large retail chains, they have a display of their own gift cards right at the check out registers, so I got into the only open register line empty-handed with the intention of inquiring about a gift card. The cashier monitoring the self check out line waved me over to that area to check out. No words were spoken. Just a finger pointed at me and the wave of hand indicating that I should use self check out.

Seeing as I didn’t have anything in my hands to go through self check out, I was naturally a bit confused. So I said to the the cashier that I needed a gift card, clearly with a question in my voice. Based on the look she gave me and the snide “okay” thrown at me, an observer may have thought that I called her a dumb ugly bitch. So I politely said, “I can’t find them. Where do you keep the gift cards?” Another pointed finger was all I received in response. As I spun around to look in the direction whence she was pointing, all my wondering eyes took in was the massive size of the entire Lowe’s store spreading immensely behind me. Oh, I see, the gift cards are somewhere back there? Well now it seemed as if she was viewing me as some ignorant martian who had no clue as to the way Lowe’s stores operate…or any other American retailer for that matter.

At this point, she was extremely put out that she was required to escort me the 10 yards or so to show me exactly where the gift cards were displayed. To be clear, there were absolutely no other customers in line and she was merely standing at her self check out register waiting for something to do. She did not appear to be handicapped or injured in any way that the short walk to assist me would have caused her pain of any sort. And she was in charge of a register at a major retail chain so she clearly cannot be totally incompetent. By the end of the entire interaction, I found myself apologizing to her. I actually said the words “I’m sorry” at least 3 times to her because she was clearly exhibiting feelings that I had offended her in some way and I just was not sure how else to respond.

I left the store feeling ill at ease and a little bit as if my light had been dimmed. Then I became annoyed with myself for apologizing. What in the world was I apologizing for? I had no idea really. On my short drive home, I engaged in some self talk reminding myself that sometimes people have a bad day and we must just meet them we they are, that I was in no way responsible for her bad attitude, and that her obvious disdain towards me probably had absolutely nothing to do with me at all. I did not get nasty or even short with her but remained calm and friendly throughout the entire unpleasant exchange, trying my very best to pass some of my positive attitude forward to her.

But it left me wondering, how difficult is kindness? We all have bad days that leave us feeling a bit sour or down. I have absolutely no idea what caused this woman her bad attitude today. She could have just experienced a bad break up, recently lost a loved one, or perhaps she was just simply suffering from severe menstrual cramps. Maybe her kids pissed her off before work today or her cat escaped the house and she didn’t have time to find him before heading to work. Maybe her hot water heater exploded and she was forced to take an icy shower this morning. Possibly she received bad news from her doctor and it was weighing on her mind. Or maybe she just quit smoking or ran out of coffee. Any of these situations could put anyone in a really foul mood even at their place of employment.

But here’s the thing. I have experienced almost of all the things I mentioned above at some point in my life and I have never, ever used it as justification to be unkind, unfriendly, or just downright rude to a stranger. While I am willing to meet every person right where they are in the moment that I encounter them, I am not willing to be made to feel less than deserving of their mutual respect. And while I am more empathic than most, I am not responsible for anyone’s emotions except my own. I also do not owe you an apology for treating me rudely.

So back to the question…is kindness really all that difficult? I don’t ever find it all that challenging to exercise kindness and generosity and just basic human compassion toward every person I meet throughout the course of every single day. Sure, sometimes I may be oblivious to my surroundings which can sometimes appear rude, but if I am directly approached by another human being, I will at the very least be civilized, respectful, polite, and kind. I actually find that it would require more effort on my part to be rude or confrontational. Not to mention that confrontation is always incredibly uncomfortable for me as well.

I have always believed that attitudes are contagious and when two opposing postures face off, the stronger of the two will either prevail or walk away. The fact is that darkness and light simply cannot co-exist in the same space at the same time. One will always extinguish the other. And I refuse to allow my light to be extinguished. So I chose to walk away today with a smile on my face and a new perspective about the nature of kindness. And maybe, just maybe, it does not come so easily for everyone.

So please tell me, do you find it difficult to be kind if you are having a bad day? Or does kindness just come as easy as breathing for you?

And now the featured favorites from last week’s link up party.

First, Kellyann of This Blonde’s Shopping Bag shared her post, Taking Inspiration and Making It Your Own…and guess who inspired her? Ha. Little ole me! So, of course, I think Kellyann’s post and outfit are absolutely fabulous!

Kellyann of This Blonde’s Shopping Bag

Oh and guess what? Monica of Jersey Girl, Texan Heart shared an outfit that was also kind of inspired by me, too, in her post, Transitioning into a New Season. I say “kind of inspired by me” because this exact outfit maybe was only residually inspired by her original styling of this sassy sheer dress which was, in fact, inspired by me! So, of course, I also love Monica’s outfit and post!

Monica of Jersey Girl, Texan Heart

They do say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, don’t they? And I have to say that my humble little fashionista heart is flattered and totally honored that these gorgeous ladies have been inspired by my crazy style!

And while Laurie of Vanity and Me shared the most amazing outfit in her post, Cutting the Mustard Trend with Bonmarch, that was not inspired by me at all, I do have to say that I completely inspired by Laurie! And now I need to go find myself a marvelous mustard moto jacket!

Laurie of Vanity and Me


Keeping it on the edge,

Shelbee

Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups.

I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.

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75 Comments

  • Laurie

    October 2, 2018 at 10:55 am Reply

    I think that kindness is the default setting for most of us. Unfortunately, you ran into a cashier at Lowe’s for whom that was not true. I think that says everything about her (she probably wasn’t having a particularly bad day, kindness may just not be part of her make-up) and absolutely nothing about you. The reasons that some people are not inherently kind are many, but I think it boils down to feeling bad about themselves. That person should not be employed in a service position. Sorry you had such a bad encounter!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 2, 2018 at 11:24 pm Reply

      Laurie, thank you so much for your insight into the situation! I agree that most people do default to a kindness setting, but some are just hard wired differently and are unhappy by nature. I will still always be kind even in the face of unkindness!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Nina

    October 2, 2018 at 11:20 am Reply

    I used to know someone who was perpetually surly like that. That’s just how she was…all the time. Nothing ever seemed to make her happy. Her kids are like that too as are most of her friends. Her daugher is now a waitress and wonders why she doesn’t get tips. They are resentful of other’s success and annoyed by having to help others in any way. It’s sad and creates a self-fulfilling prophesy that keeps them stuck. Very sad. Glad you are here to remind us to spread the kindness.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 2, 2018 at 11:21 pm Reply

      Wow, Nina, that story makes me a bit sad. And the whole family is that way, you say? I guess it is true that surliness will beget surliness just as kindness will beget kindness. I often get reports back from my kids’ teachers that they are very friendly, kind, and helpful in school. That makes my heart sing. But I suppose I did teach them that just by the example of how I live my life. Thank you for sharing this story…it does help keep perspective of things.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Julie | This Main Line Life

    October 2, 2018 at 12:26 pm Reply

    Ugh. I’ve run into sales clerks with that attitude also. Most people are so nice and helpful but every once in a while, you get someone who just has a big chip on their shoulder. Good for you for remaining pleasant. It’s tough in those situations.

  • jodie filogomo

    October 2, 2018 at 1:37 pm Reply

    I’m like you Shelbee. It seems like being kind should be the obvious way to be. I understand having a bad day and all, but ALL of us can compartmentalize and when your job is to help others….then you should be helping others.
    But then we laugh and say, if everyone were as perfect as us, life would be so boring, and there wouldn’t be the great movies with the good vs. evil….LOL!!
    BTW, I have a pair of boots like that. I bought them at the end of the season last year and haven’t worn them yet….but with shorts? That’s brilliant!!
    And that sweater?? I’m wearing one in the local boutique video you’ll see on IG on Thursday…it’s adorbale!!
    XOXO
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 2, 2018 at 11:10 pm Reply

      Jodie. Jodie. Jodie! I love you! You are absolutely right…if we all were as brilliantly fun and kind and shining bright lights all around us like you and I, it may get a bit boring! We would all be so blinded by the brightness that we wouldn’t be able to see anything anyway. I suppose the light needs the darkness so it has something to illuminate, right?

      And I am so on this shorts and tights and boots kick right now! I stocked up on a bunch of fun patterned tights on Target clearance and some cute cut off shorts on Torrid clearance and you know I have a killer collection of boots…so until it gets too cold for this look, I think I will be creating different versions of it frequently! It’s all kinds of sassy, after all. And sassy is my game! I look forward to checking out your boutique video and seeing your cute sweater!

      Thanks for shining your light and sharing it with me!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • jacqueline berry

    October 2, 2018 at 2:08 pm Reply

    Such a shame you had a bad experience, seems we’ve all had this at times. I completely agree, it’s not hard to be friendly and polite, even if you are having a bad day people should be friendly and helpful! Some people are born rude aren’t they? Cute outfit, loving the boots Shelbee. x

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 2, 2018 at 11:03 pm Reply

      Thanks, Jacqui! I am so far past the bad experience, it really just left me wondering how difficult it is to exercise basic human kindness in face to face interactions. I suppose for some it really is just difficult. But then I wonder why take a job that forces you to interact with people face to face! I guess it is one of life’s mysteries! Thank you for the lovely compliment though and keep shining your light, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Patrick Weseman

    October 2, 2018 at 3:02 pm Reply

    Kindness is not difficult but in today’s society it is frowned by many. One thing about the people working in these entry-level jobs is that they are not happy to be there. Back in the day, I was told (in my first job) that was learning the skills to make it in work world and one of the those skills was to be kind to others. Flash forward 30 years-something later and because of either way too much technology or just missing some basic hard-wiring in the brain most of the these people in these jobs have lost that skill. It is a sad and sorry thing to see and I better get off my soapbox before I start boring people.

    Looking nice with tights with shorts and the boots. Love the beret. Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful week.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 2, 2018 at 11:00 pm Reply

      Patrick, thank you for you lovely compliment and for sharing your take on the downfall of proper manners in our current society! I think technology definitely has had a negative impact on basic human kindness in face to face interactions. It is like we all have lost our ability to actually function as humans in society especially since most of us hide behind computers all day. But there is still a certain amount of respect and kindness that we must exercise even from our keyboards. I guess there just is little harmful backlash when we are rude from our keyboards. Now I am rambling on and on and I am extremely tired so I will stop! Keep being kind and shining your light, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Laura

    October 2, 2018 at 4:02 pm Reply

    What a bummer of an experience! I hate walking away feeling like I’ve done something wrong when I haven’t We are so used to trying not to offend that sometimes others take advantage of that and walk all over us. You clearly had no reason to apologize and she had no reason to be so rude. I think it takes extra energy to be rude rather than just be nice. And you feel so much better when you are nice to others too!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 2, 2018 at 10:43 pm Reply

      Thanks, Laura! I was over it before I even got home, but it just left me wondering what is so difficult about being kind. I certainly don’t dwell too much on the negativity. My feelings were not hurt at all because clearly it was issue with her and not me…but it really does just leave me scratching my head in wonderment! Being friendly and kind definitely makes both parties feel uplifted, for sure. More people need to embrace that! Stay bright, my friend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Jessica A Jannenga

    October 2, 2018 at 4:20 pm Reply

    Im always amazed at how some people seem to hate their job or dislike being where they are, that the are kind of miserable, or reflect a lousy attitude. I see this more and more in customer service fields. You are the better person and I have apologized before when I thought, why was I? I think you were just trying to make things more comfortable. Anyhow, love that long cardi the lace up detail is adorable and the long boots with your shorts and tights is such a fun look!
    jess xx
    http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 2, 2018 at 10:39 pm Reply

      Jess, thanks so much! It does make one wonder why people enter the customer service field if they clearly dislike interacting with people! I love working in retail and greet everyone with a smile and a friendly “How do you do?” And I am often met with confusion at how happy I am in my greeting. It is like people don’t even expect friendliness anymore. And that makes me kind of sad. And yes, the apologizing was definitely to try to make the situation more comfortable. It didn’t work! Keep shining your light, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Rena

    October 2, 2018 at 5:47 pm Reply

    Kindness, civility, courtesy … whatever you call it, does often seem to be in short supply. As our society has been less structured and more informal, there are few examples of kindness modeled for others to follow. I hope your positive interactions will inspire more kindness in others as has your personal style. Fabulous look and great photos again, Shelbee. You’re awesome!

    Rena
    https://www.finewhateverblog.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 2, 2018 at 10:30 pm Reply

      Rena, thank you so much! And the way you have phrased all that is so perfectly on the money! The lack of structure in our human interactions has definitely diminished the use of common courtesy. I cannot even count how many times people employed in customer service positions have literally pointed, motioned, and grunted at me rather than using actual human language in the form of words. This blows my mind!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Gigi Kiersten

    October 2, 2018 at 7:57 pm Reply

    I don’t think Kindness is difficult. Honestly, the way that cashier was not professional in the slightest, and I would not have been as kind and gracious as you are. Maybe it was better that it was you in that situation than me because I do tend to have a temper. Anyway, It’s was bred into me pretty early on to be kind and polite to everyone. To show elders respect and all that jazz. I think it comes in part of being from the South. Anyway, hugs for people being awful to you. You are the nicest person I know and you don’t deserve that. As for your outfit, I love all the fall color palettes and textures. It’s so cute and edgy but perfectly you.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 2, 2018 at 10:24 pm Reply

      Gigi, thanks so much for your kind words! Yeah, cases like these are when it does actually take a little effort to be kind…because I think our natural inclination is to lash back when someone is being unkind for no reason. But I just take a deep breath and continue on smiling and being kind. No reason getting myself all in a temper, too, I suppose. I just wish more people could check themselves when they are being so miserable! Keep shining your light, too, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Cheryl Shops

    October 2, 2018 at 10:28 pm Reply

    Shelbee, you have such a great attitude for dealing with people who are being less than kind. I will say, I have my moments, but the key is bouncing back as quickly as possible and cleaning up your side of the street, e.g. “I’m sorry I was short with you—I’m having a bad day, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” A sincere apology goes a long way, and then everybody can move on.
    Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 2, 2018 at 10:33 pm Reply

      Cheryl, thank you so much for offering that perspective! I agree with you completely, we all are human and we all falter at times. I have definitely had moments when I have been short or even rude. But I always follow up with an apology as soon as I realize where I have gone wrong. In fact, I literally just snapped at my husband about 30 minutes ago because he asked me what I wanted for dinner and my brain was so overwhelmed from the day that I just couldn’t even answer the question. So I snapped. It took me about 5 minutes to realize how incredibly unthoughtful and unkind my response was to a very kind gesture on his part and I immediately apologized. And all is well. A sincere apology really does fix most things! Keep shining bright, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom

    October 2, 2018 at 11:09 pm Reply

    I think some people are just plain rude and they really don’t care. It makes you wonder how she keeps the job with that sort of attitude. I get having a bad day, but I still don’t ever take it out on others… especially not total strangers! Maybe she’s been asked this ‘where are the gift cards’ question more often than she can handle, who knows. 😉 It is frustrating though that you caught yourself apologizing to her, but I think given that situation… how do you handle it? LOVE that sweater, especially the back detail. Your tights are super cute, too!

    Carrie
    curlycraftymom.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 2, 2018 at 11:39 pm Reply

      Carrie, thanks so much for the wonderful compliment and the perspective on the situation. I had to laugh about the idea that maybe she was asked where are the gift cards are more times than she can handle! Because if that were me in that case, I would seriously laugh and make jokes every time someone asked where the gift cards were! But that’s just me. I am always making jokes. Because jokes make people smile. Which makes me smile. And smiles are contagious. Except not in her case. She was not going to smile. Because darn gift cards apparently had her pissed off! Ha. Stay bright, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Tianna

    October 2, 2018 at 11:17 pm Reply

    It’s crazy how cold we can be to each other. I think we can be quite self-absorbed and disconnected from each other, especially with how cell phones have taken over our lives. That said, I try to be compassionate because whether we realize it or not, everyone is dealing with their own silent battle in life that we know nothing about. So, kindness helps a lot and if people can’t reciprocate in that moment, I just accept that maybe they aren’t in the right place and move on. I’ve really been working on this one!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 2, 2018 at 11:36 pm Reply

      Tianna, thanks so much for that perspective! I agree with you completely. And I try to just accept people right where they are in the moment that I encounter them. I maintained my level of kindness and friendliness that I approach life with every day. Unfortunately it did not turn her attitude around. I suppose you win some and you lose some and that’s just life! Keep shining your light, my friend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Helen C.

    October 3, 2018 at 12:22 am Reply

    Contrary to some of the opinions expressed, I actually think that the default setting of most people is not kindness yet people try to be kind because it´s an unspoken law of the society. You can tell when someone is genuinely kind or does it out of obligation. Of course, I prefer genuine kind people, I also belong to that group! 🙂

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 3, 2018 at 10:12 am Reply

      Helen, thank you for speaking your truth! You are definitely one of the genuinely kind people in the world! And you have certainly shared some awful stories of truly inherently unkind people with me. I wonder though if maybe it is just an equal split…the whole light vs darkness, good vs evil concept. I guess the world needs both in constant tension against one another. Maybe it is just one of those mysteries of life that we will never fully comprehend. But I will continue on my mission of kindness and you keep shining your bright light, my friend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Gina

    October 3, 2018 at 12:43 pm Reply

    Okay first, that teal cardigan is fabulous! Love the lace back! Second, you handled the situation well and I think I would have done the same. Politely apologize for “inconveniencing” someone who was so put out by having to do their JOB…then be annoyed with myself for doing that! It really makes you wonder what it is going on in some people’s heads/lives that they can’t muster up even a basic level of civility!
    Gina || On the Daily Express

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 3, 2018 at 1:22 pm Reply

      Gina, thanks so much for the wonderful compliment and comment! It is nice to know that I am not alone in the way I handle such things and then how I feel like an idiot for apologizing! Keep shining your bright light of goodness around you, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Chrissy

    October 3, 2018 at 1:19 pm Reply

    awww, Shelbee that sour interaction would have got to me as well! Glad you handled it well because at the end of the day we sleep better when we are kind, whether we feel our kindness was deserved or not. You look adorable, fun and edgy so I’m not surprised that you inspire other…after all you most certainly inspire me! 🙂

  • Gail

    October 3, 2018 at 2:17 pm Reply

    I feel your pain Shelbee, I had an incident on holiday recently where a waiter was really rude, quite unnecessarily. It felt worse because he had some young women hanging around who he would rather be dealing with, and I felt he was snubbing me because he didn’t want to talk to a middle aged woman. I try to be kind even when I’m having a bad day. But you never know if people are dealing with something devastating in their lives.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 4, 2018 at 12:21 pm Reply

      Thank you for relating, Gail. Being discriminating with one’s kindness for any reason at all is so silly! Clearly, the waiter had the capacity for kindness as he was showing it toward the young women, so why discriminate with it? I just will never understand people. I am sorry that you had that unpleasant experience, but please don’t let it dim your fabulous light!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Amanda

    October 3, 2018 at 5:35 pm Reply

    What a crazy experience. I agree with you, I think it would take more effort for me to be rude than kind. I don’t understand how people can be so surly, I can’t imagine they are happy that way. You came away with a great attitude though, and something to write about. Thanks for sharing! Have a great week 🙂

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 4, 2018 at 10:55 am Reply

      Amanda, thanks so much! For sure, I came away with something to write about…that is always the positive spin I can put on negative experiences. Hahaha…fodder for writing. And I do think that some people are most comfortable existing in misery…it is something I will never understand, but I suppose there are lots of things about human beings that I will never understand. We have to just keep shining our light to maintain a healthy balance in the world!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Maureen

    October 3, 2018 at 10:53 pm Reply

    Great question Shelbee and kudos for knowing when to pick your battle. Clearly, she was in another world and perhaps she was in a sour mood. It’s hard to say. In a way, you already apologized for something you didn’t have to and to me, that should have reset her attitude. When someone shows you kindness, it’s only fair to return it. Your outfit looks very cute! Love all the unique details you have going on here – the embroidery on your boots, the color of your cardigan and that crisscross stitching. I hope your first week of October is going well so far and happy Wednesday!

    Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 4, 2018 at 10:39 am Reply

      Thanks so much, Maureen! It seems intuitive that when someone shows you a kindness you should naturally respond in a like manner…the whole idea that kindness begets kindness. But isn’t it funny how sometimes you show kindness to someone who really seems to need it and it merely triggers them to become more ornery? As if they like existing inside their little world of misery. Which, I suppose, some people do like to just feel miserable. But it won’t stop me from acting the way I will…being kind always to every person whom I meet. Shine bright, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Susan

    October 3, 2018 at 11:23 pm Reply

    Well, I am too much of a smartass to be kind always, although I want to be. I have to remind myself constantly to be kind, although I have mastered the double entendre enough so that I can come off kind even if I am not feeling it. Whenever I am feeling unkind, I have this prayer that I say, which occupies me long enough so my kindness can master my impatience/annoyance/pique/righteous rage, and that is how I refrain from indulging my inner bitch.

    My mind works quickly, and I also have to struggle to stay in the moment. I am naturally impatient and when I get too far ahead of myself, I also have to say the prayer. It’s genetic, I think. My father was that way, and so is my brother. I remember praying for patience in my childhood, that’s how far back it goes.
    I do believe in karma, and that you get back what you give out, which is why I continue my lifelong work.
    I work for the light, so that I can illuminate the dark.
    The struggle is real.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 4, 2018 at 10:27 am Reply

      Susan, you are amazing! I love your willingness to share your inner struggle. And don’t we all fight a similar internal battle of good vs evil, darkness vs light? We all have the capacity for both, for sure. The outcome, I suppose, is entirely up to our own free will and deciding which side we will allow to prevail at any given moment. In some moments we will choose the light, in others darkness will overcome. It is the recognizing what we could have done differently or better to make the changes necessary the next time that really matters in the end, I think. Those of us who continue to do the work to keep the light illuminated must always continue to do so. It is exhausting but ever so rewarding. Keep fighting, my friend! With every victory, your light shines that much brighter.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • CHERIE

    October 4, 2018 at 1:39 am Reply

    Shelbee, you need to show off your legs more often, they are gorgeous! Those shorts with the tights and those over the knee boots are really edgy, I love the mix. I couldn’t agree more about kindness, we need more of it in this crazy world. I’ve always told my kids, the most important quality to possess in life is to be kind.

    XO,
    cherie
    http://www.stylenudge.com
    STYLE NUDGE

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 4, 2018 at 10:20 am Reply

      Cherie, thank you so much! I have been wearing shorts, tights, and boots quite often lately. I am really digging the edginess of it…until it gets too cold to just have tights as my layer of coverage! And I grew up always being kind to others as that was the example my mother set for me. It is the example I want to set for my children. So far, I get frequent reports from school that they are both kind and friendly kids. Thank goodness….because like you said, we need more of it in this crazy world, for sure. And kindness begets kindness…so keep shining your light, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Brooke

    October 4, 2018 at 1:04 pm Reply

    I find it harder to be rude or confrontational, than kind, but great day I think some people just feel like being hateful all day every day. Like you said, we all have bad days or get in bad moods but it’s never fair to treat someone else poorly because you’re feeling sour.

    Brooke
    Pumps and Push-Ups

  • Emma Peach

    October 4, 2018 at 9:08 pm Reply

    I’m guessing that cashier really hates her job, but that’s no reason to take it out on anyone else. The fact that you apologised to her shows how caring and forgiving you are. When people are rude to me I keep on being nice to them and smiling, I don’t let them drag me down with their grumpiness. Love those fabulous OTK boots and your cute beret!

    Emma xxx
    http://www.style-splash.com

  • Sigrid Chu

    October 5, 2018 at 1:08 am Reply

    Hello Shelbee,

    Thank you for this post.

    I am thankful for those like you who value kindness and spread it. We can never have too much kindness in this world.

    What I’m more surprised about is hearing people say that we shouldn’t be too kind. That we won’t get ahead in life if we’re kind. That people will take advantage of us if we’re too kind. That kindness is a sign of weakness. Perhaps, this is the reason why some people are less kind.

    Best,
    Sigrid

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 5, 2018 at 10:37 am Reply

      Sigrid, thank you so much! I am equally surprised by people who feel that too much kindness is a weakness and I have been told that on occasion throughout my life. Sure, I have been taken advantage of due to being too kind and trusting, but I wouldn’t change a thing about myself…because when all else disappears in this life, I am still very happy with the person I am. Keep shining bright, my friend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Molly

    October 6, 2018 at 1:00 pm Reply

    Kindness is such a simple thing really and yet I feel like we have lots the art of it in many ways. Not individuals but as a whole, as a society we have rewarded greed and lies and wealth and men above anything else and forgotten about the simple things as a result.

    Mollyx

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 8, 2018 at 12:47 pm Reply

      Molly, I agree with you completely! And I like that you make the distinction that we have not lost kindness as individuals but as a society. There are so many wonderful and beautiful and kind people still in this world, but society as a whole does seem to dim the light that the inherently kind people continue to shine. But shine on, we must! Thanks so much for this lovely comment!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Claire Justine

    October 6, 2018 at 5:48 pm Reply

    I know where you are coming from with this, I have seen it plenty when I go into supermarkets. I just do not know how some people can be this miserable at times, especially when they are getting paid too. I like to see people happy and smiley as it makes me feel happier!

    Love this look Shelbee, your boots are beautiful 🙂 Thanks for linking up #WordlessWednesdayLinkUp

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 8, 2018 at 12:28 pm Reply

      Claire, thanks so much for the lovely compliment! I hear you…if you work in a service job, you should automatically wear a smile no matter what. In fact, I worked on Saturday night and I was so extremely tired that I could barely function. Yet, I maintained my smile and good energy and was helpful and friendly to everyone who walked in my store. It is a skill that more people need to master.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Bettye L Rainwater

    October 10, 2018 at 1:27 am Reply

    I think I’m mostly kind, but I will admit I have my moments of impatience at times. I won’t really direct it at another person, but it’s there, darkening my heart.

    But I also apologize profusely…and THANK…I must say Thank You half a dozen times to the McDonalds drive thru person, and I’M the customer! They’re supposed to be thanking ME! Ha.

    Thanks for linking up with the Fabulous Friday link up!

    Bettye
    https://fashionschlub.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      October 10, 2018 at 10:29 am Reply

      Bettye, thank you for sharing your experience. I think we all get impatient sometimes and it can make us a bit snippy…especially in drive thru’s! I think there should be a limit on what you are allowed to order at a drive thru…like the express line in a grocery store…if it is more than 5 things, you should be required to go inside! That makes me impatient, irritable, and quite nasty! However, I just sit and fume in my car a little bit without taking it out on anyone. We all have dark spots on our hearts…we just have to make sure the light is more abundant than the darkness

      xoxo
      Shelbee

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Shelbee on the Edge