Is Kindness a Dying Virtue? And #SpreadTheKindness Link Up #29

July 11, 2017 / 54 Comments

What is kindness? The act of being kind. The adjective kind in reference to a person is defined by Merriam-Webster as this: “of a sympathetic or helpful nature.” Dictionary.com defines kind this way: “of a good or benevolent nature or disposition; indulgent, considerate, or helpful; humane.” Wikipedia refers to kindness as a virtue and references religion, ancient philosophy, and various cultural beliefs as a context for kindness.

From Wikipedia: “Kindness is a behavior marked by ethical characteristics, a pleasant disposition, and a concern for others. It is known as a virtue, and is recognized as a value in many cultures and religions (see ethics in religion). Aristotle, in Book II of his “Rhetoric”, defines it as being “helpfulness towards someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for the advantage of the helper himself, but for that of the person helped”. Nietzsche argued that kindness and love are the “most curative herbs and agents in human intercourse”. Kindness is considered to be one of the Knightly Virtues. In Meher Baba’s teachings, God is synonymous with kindness: “God is so kind that it is impossible to imagine His unbounded kindness!”

In my opinion, these are some powerful attributes to have. I was taught as a child to always be kind to others and I have strived to live up to this virtue. Expect nothing in return and be kind because it is the right thing to do. And as many of you know, I have made it my mission in life to keep kindness alive.

But check out the top definition of kindness from that dreadful Urban Dictionary: “The act of going out of your way to be nice to someone or show a person you care. Something that apparently does not exist in this world anymore.”  And this: “A quality that one would conclude, from browsing through Urban Dictionary and other websites, has died out of the world.”

So I want to pose these questions to you all: Has kindness died? Or is it just as prevalent as it has always been? Fighting against the bad, the cruel, the evil, the unkind? Hasn’t this dichotomy in values always existed? Haven’t there always been people who are kind at heart and good-natured who want to spread love and happiness around them? And haven’t there always been self-absorbed, selfish, cold-hearted people who have no inkling to be kind? Are we worse off now then we have ever been or are we just the same?

I ask this because as I put kindness out into the world, I am sometimes dismissed or disregarded and even sometimes met in return with cruelty. But much, much more often than not, my kindness is met with equal and often greater kindnesses. My mission to keep kindness alive is in direct opposition to the unkindness that exists in the world. But I don’t believe that kindness is a dying virtue at all. I think it is as alive and well as it has always been. And I believe that if all the kind souls stick together and remain true to ourselves, we can make the world a better place. Will unkindness ever be eliminated? Probably not. But we can damn sure try.

So won’t you all join me once again for my #SpreadTheKindness Link Up below.  And do let me know what act of kindness you have performed today.

*This is not a sponsored post. All thoughts and opinions are my own. But I do want to send out a great big thank you to the girls at Torrid Salmon Run Mall for their amazing acts of kindness. I am ever so grateful to all of you. You are amazing and fabulous women! Keep #SpreadingTheKindness, my friends!

Outfit Details
Kimono: Shelbee’s Shoppe ($42.00. I have one in black and one in tan in stock.)
Top: Lace Up Mock Neck Tank Top ($38.90).
Shorts: Torrid Skinny Shorts – Medium Wash ($38.90).
Sandals: Target (From last year. View all of their wedge sandals here).

I also want to thank everyone who stops by each week and joins my link up. I love seeing what you are all wearing, sharing, creating, and discussing. Now your favorite posts from last week’s link up…

Rena of Fine Whatever shared her super stylish mix of florals and embroidery in her post Embroidered Floral: Powers the Flower & Link Up. I always find so much inspiration in Rena’s chic and poised stylings!.  Rena is one of the kindest women I have ever met and she needs lots of healing, loving, and kind energy sent her way!

And Lorena of My Every Day Wear shared a gorgeous shift dress in her post Wearing your DIYs. I adore the print on this dress! I can’t get over that it is a DIY dress!  And check out she gave new DIY life to her straw bag, too. Just fabulous!  Thank you to Lorena, for always injecting kindness into all of her blogger interactions!


Keeping it on the edge,

Shelbee

Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups.

I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.

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54 Comments

  • jodie filogomo

    July 11, 2017 at 4:20 pm Reply

    I have to agree with you that Rena is so kind, Shelbee!! Do you know that she came and picked us up at the airport when we went out to the Fierce 50 Weekends in LA? Isn’t that the kindest thing??
    I believe that we can find kindness in others—sometimes we just need to act kind first!!
    XOXO
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 11, 2017 at 4:26 pm Reply

      Rena picked us up in LA, too, Jodie! She is such a sweet, kind-hearted, giving person! I feel honored to call her my friend! And I agree that kindness can be found all around us. We need to be willing to accept it as well!

      Thanks so much for all of your kindness, too, Jodie. You are an amazing, sweet, kind woman as well!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 11, 2017 at 7:01 pm Reply

      I see it all around me as well, Kathrine! And I choose to bring those types of people nearer to me. Like minds attract like minds anyway, so it easy to surround myself with kind people. And unkindness just gets pushed aside after I properly meet it with all the kindness that I can muster! Thanks so much for stopping by and I am heading over now to check out your kimono! I am a sucker for a great kimono.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • jacqui

    July 11, 2017 at 4:42 pm Reply

    Just when I think kindness has gone out of the window, some little thing happens and restores my faith. x Great read Shelbee, and thanks for the link up. xx

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 11, 2017 at 6:55 pm Reply

      Laurie, thanks so much for stopping by! We definitely need to open to receiving kindness from others. And Rena is surrounded by so much love and positive energy that I am confident she will thrive in the face of it! I need to hop on over to your blog today…I won your Jord giveaway and I am so excited! Thanks so much!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Suzy Turner

    July 11, 2017 at 5:22 pm Reply

    Nope, kindness is most definitely not dying out. I refuse to believe it! I think we just read more about the unkindness out there these days. I mean, journalists tend to only share the bad and the ugly in this world. We seldom read about the true acts of kindness that happen throughout the world every single day. I love that you’ve written about kindness. Shelbee! I was sad to read that you sometimes are faced with cruelty in return – let’s face it, some people are just going through shit sometimes and they don’t know how to handle it so they take it out on those they meet along the way.
    Hugs,
    Suzy xx
    http://www.suzyturner.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 11, 2017 at 6:52 pm Reply

      Suzy, I am so glad that you are with me in the belief that kindness is alive and well. I know people have bad days and I never take it personally when I am offering kindness and the response is rude or cruel or just unappreciative. That certainly doesn’t slow me down. Actually, it ignites me to try even harder and share more kindness! Thanks so much for participating in my discussion! And have a fabulous day!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Chrissy Rowden

    July 11, 2017 at 7:10 pm Reply

    These are great thought provoking questions/points Shelbee. There is a proverb that states, “a gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath” (Proverbs 15:1). It’s so simple and yet so hard to keep control of my tongue some days (more so with my family of course)! I know kindness is more than words, but the tongue is a good place start! And I agree, kindness still exists!

    By the way, I’m liking that ensemble you’ve got going on there. Super cute kimono and sandals.

    Thank you for hosting and for inspiring! 😉

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 11, 2017 at 7:59 pm Reply

      Chrissy, thank you so much for joining the discussion! That is a wonderful proverb, indeed. There is so much truth in it. I definitely have to exercise much more patience and control of my tongue when it comes to my children especially during these days of summer break! Ha. But I try to instill kindness in them as well so I better be leading by example!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom

    July 11, 2017 at 8:02 pm Reply

    Kindness is something that makes such a huge difference and always makes me feel better when I give it when I’m having a bad day. Love this kimono and just all of the colors in this outfit, they compliment each other so well. That necklace is a beauty, too.

    Carrie
    curlycraftymom.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 11, 2017 at 9:12 pm Reply

      Carrie, thank you so much for visiting and joining the discussion! I definitely find that if I can exhibit kindness on my worst days, they get just that much better. It is such an amazing virtue to possess and to exercise. It opens up so many different avenues in the world, too. And thank you for the lovely compliment as well. I do love the rich earthy tones of this outfit as well. They make me long for Fall, my favorite of all the seasons!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Lorena

    July 11, 2017 at 8:48 pm Reply

    Your post is proof that kindness still has a chance in this world 😉
    Thank you for the shout out and for always being so frank and open in your posts.

  • Elizabeth Ramsey

    July 11, 2017 at 10:10 pm Reply

    1. LOVE the kimono!
    2. Don’t let the bad apples get you down. I’m fortunate at 50 to still believe there is more kindness than unkindness in this world. Fortunate or naive. HaHa. But truly, I’ve worked hard over the years to focus on what I’m lucky for…being alive, good food, a roof, a loving hubby, cute dog, mom nearby, etc. and as I’ve done that it seems most days there is a lot more kindness to be found than not. You, specifically and the blogger community in general are a testament to that. So many good people wanting to be helpful and supportive. Proud to be a part of that group now!

    Elizabeth / NattyGal

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 12, 2017 at 9:54 am Reply

      Elizabeth, thank you so much for this lovely contribution to the discussion! And I am completely in agreement with you on all of this. I also have worked way too hard to push the negative and ugly out of my life so that I can be more open and accepting of all the good that there is. Gratitude is a huge theme in my life at this stage. And I believe that once we are able to find gratitude and practice it daily, kindness becomes a much easier virtue to exercise. And I do my best to turn bad apples into sweet savory applesauce! I hope you have a fantastic week, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Amy Christensen

    July 11, 2017 at 11:20 pm Reply

    I think kindness is as alive as ever, I just think so often the media, movies, music talk about all that is bad and wrong, rather than focusing on the beautiful things that people do and say. There is kindness and beauty all around, we just have to look for it. I always enjoy your insights, Shelbee. Keep it up! Love your cute outfit. Especially the pretty kimono! Have a great day. – Amy
    http://stylingrannymama.com/

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 12, 2017 at 9:51 am Reply

      Amy, thank you so much for sharing your insight on the topic. I do wonder why we has humans tend to fixate on the bad and the negative all the time…like you said, in news and media. There is like an internal urge to spread bad news and good news is so often forgotten. I wonder how we can change that…I like to focus on the good and the positive myself…it just makes the days so much easier and more beautiful. Have a wonderful week, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Laura

    July 12, 2017 at 1:21 am Reply

    You pose an excellent question. I think kindness between strangers has decreased greatly, but I think kindness between friends and family is definitely still there!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 12, 2017 at 9:44 am Reply

      That is an interesting take on the subject, Laura. I know I certainly try to be kind to everyone, but I tend to lash out more on friends and family when I get in a mood! So I wonder if others perceive the exact opposite! Thanks so much for joining my discussion. It is always fun to read the different perceptions and ideas offered on subjects like these. I wish you a wonderful end of the week!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Patrick weseman

    July 12, 2017 at 2:29 am Reply

    We need more kindness in this world. Too many people are just out for themselves and are to do anything to get ahead, I always say that they are willing to slice your throat and then donate your blood to the Red Cross and think that they are doing a good deed. I try to be kind to everybody and people have a hard time receiving it.

    We need to become more caring and nice to each other and hopefully people will become less hardened.

    Thanks for hosting and have a great rest of the week.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 12, 2017 at 9:41 am Reply

      Patrick, thank you as always for offering such insight to my discussion. There are definitely cut-throat people in this world and that can be very disheartening. And yet I always found that I made more progress by being kind. I suppose there are many who still don’t understand how far kindness can really take you. And because of the hardened people out there, others really do have a hard time receiving kindness. I guess people like us just need to keep doing what we do and keep the spirit of kindness alive. I hope you have a fabulous week as well.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • miri

    July 12, 2017 at 11:17 am Reply

    Thia is ao funny, Shelbee, I can’t believe that according to Urban Dictionary kindness does not exist anymore. I guess the person who wrote it does not understand what kindness mean. :-))) Thank you for the link up, I will join. Have a wonderful day.

    X
    Miri
    http://currentlywearing.com

  • Judy

    July 12, 2017 at 12:03 pm Reply

    I think there are still a good many kind people on the world for it to go completely out of fashion, and I hope that it stays that way!
    Love the outfit, Shelbee 🙂

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 12, 2017 at 12:33 pm Reply

      Judy, I agree! I know way to many good and kind people for me to believe that kindness is dead. It will continue to prevail in this crazy world! Thanks so much for stopping by and joining the discussion! Have a fabulous day.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Gail

    July 13, 2017 at 11:10 am Reply

    Regrettably kindness is dying out. You see it occasionally but you also see daily incidents of road rage, people sighing and pushing, people being incredibly selfish. It’s very sad – and will get worse once our parents generation has gone.

    Love your kimono – very pretty!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 13, 2017 at 11:53 am Reply

      No, Gail, no! We have to keep kindness alive! I believe if there are still people holding tight to the virtues that our parents taught us and we pass those virtues on, we can keep kindness alive and well in this often cruel and angry world! Thanks so much for stopping by and for the lovely compliment!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Cheryl Tuckerr

    July 13, 2017 at 12:32 pm Reply

    This is a great post! Being kind is one of the easiest things to do that can make the most impact on other’s lives. I think if you act kind, others will treat you with kindness. I guess sometimes people get overwhelmed with life and run low on resources and forget to be kind. But overall I still find most people to be trying. Peace!
    Cheryl
    http://www.northwestmountainliving.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 13, 2017 at 9:29 pm Reply

      Cheryl, thanks so much for joining the discussion. I agree that sometimes we get overwhelmed and forget kindness. But I sure as heck strive to never forget to share kindness in the world. The world needs and we get back what we put in!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Rosemary Davis

    July 13, 2017 at 1:00 pm Reply

    Kindness is instead alive and well! Energy flows where attention goes. Let’s keep our hearts and eyes opening to the goodness all around us. great post..thought provoking!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 13, 2017 at 9:28 pm Reply

      Rosemary, this is a fabulous response to the question! And I agree completely that kindness is alive and well. And we do have to remain open to it. We get what we put out into the world. And I put out kindness. Keep spreading the kindness, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • anne m bray

    July 13, 2017 at 1:41 pm Reply

    Sorry about the Link and Run yesterday!
    I felt you needed a good laugh and the “Hula Truck” fit the bill. Truly one of the silliest trucks I’ve encountered.
    I try to be kind, I TRY. Sometimes I give in to baser emotions. LA traffic will do that to one.

  • Andrea Nine

    July 13, 2017 at 3:19 pm Reply

    You are a doll Shelbee! That kimono is beyond spectacular and you’re so beautiful inside and out to write such a sweet inspiring post about kindness!

  • Theresa Campbell

    July 17, 2017 at 2:58 pm Reply

    Shelbee, I’m totally with you in regards to spreading kindness. The more the merrier as they say. As someone who has worked with the public for most of my life I have definitely seen a deterioration in kindness and civility. I think the anonymity of the internet has emboldened certain people to vent their frustrations on others. People who would probably never have the nerve to be so mean in a face to face encounter. When I experience this behavior I am saddened that a fellow human being has opted for cruelty over kindness, when kindness truly will always make you feel better inside AND help another feel better as well. A win-win. I never get why someone would rather feel negative than positive.

    So at this stage in my life I am very careful who I surround myself with. I have great friends, new and old, whose acts of kindness always inspire me to be a better person. It definitely helps me keep my faith in humanity.

    And when I do get discouraged with all the negativity in the news, I visit the Good News Network. It’s a site that is so refreshing because they only post stories about people doing nice things for others.

    BTW, love your kimono. Floral prints on black backgrounds, my fav! And, I’m continually in awe of your shapely legs 🙂

    Theresa

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      July 17, 2017 at 10:39 pm Reply

      Theresa, thank you so very much for joining this discussion! I am like you with regard to choosing the people in my inner circle. All are kind souls because I am too old and life is too short to engage in negativity and be immersed in it. I do my best to put kindness out wherever I go in the hopes that it can bring someone to the other side! But on a personal private level, too much negativity gets booted right out of my circle! Ha. Thanks for the wonderful compliment as well!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

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Shelbee on the Edge