How to Fake It ‘Til You Make It to Get What You Want Out of Life
One of the things we often hear about when it comes to our mental health and perception of ourselves is the notion of faking it ’til you make it. But it is one of those ideas that some may consider to be a bit dubious, especially if you don’t believe that you can manifest what you want in life simply by changing some thought patterns and behaviors.
Acting a certain way gives your brain the opportunity to prepare itself for a new way of thinking which leads to the formation of habits that are better suited for reaching the goals you have set whether you want to get a new job, a new life, or just be a bit happier about yourself. So what does it really take to fake it ’til you make it?
Dress for the Job You Want
This is an age old tip that I remember career counselors sharing with me way back in college over 25 years ago. Dressing in a certain way or wearing particular women’s clothing can improve your work ethic and performance. If the way you dress is in direct contradiction with the level of success you wish to attain, it will effect your state of mind every time you look in the mirror.
But it isn’t necessarily what you wear that is the key to dressing for success. The way your clothing makes you feel should be the deciding factor in how you dress each day. Dressing for success depends on two factors: the actual physical experience of wearing your clothes as well as the symbolic reasons for choosing a particular outfit. If you want to be powerful, you’ve got to wear the clothing that makes you feel powerful. If you want to be successful, you have to also look successful. Keep in mind that what success looks like will be different for each individual person.
Maintain Proper Posture
A very popular TEDx talk by Amy Cuddy discusses the messages we deliver with our body language and how we can change the perceptions of others simply by changing the way we carry ourselves and position our bodies. Adopting a powerful posture can have a positive impact on your body chemistry. People who maintain power poses can effectively decrease levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, and increase levels of testosterone, the hormone related to confidence and dominance. So if you want to become more confident, stand up tall and proud with your shoulders back and your head held high and you will begin to notice that your posture alone will start to impact your thoughts in much more positive way.
Mimic the People Who Display the Qualities You Desire
We all feel like frauds sometimes. Imposter syndrome is a very real thing that can rear its ugly head especially in situations where we feel we aren’t completely capable. For example, if you are promoted to a new job that requires skills that are beyond your level of expertise, you can feel very much like you don’t belong there. But you got the promotion or the job for a reason. If you are lacking self confidence in a situation like this, start to mimic any co-workers who display the expertise that you wish to attain. It is the best way to learn while building your self confidence and it is a classic formula for faking it ’til you make it.
Listen to Upbeat Music
Often when we are feeling poorly about ourselves, we turn to the music that fuels that mood. The sad songs that bring us comfort by speaking to the darkest parts of our souls have their place, but those songs will not lift you out of a funk or boost your self confidence. Upbeat music with a positive message can have a much more beneficial impact in elevating your mood and increasing your level of confidence. By changing the messages that we hear and tell ourselves, we can effectively rewire our brains to a healthier mindset.
On a physical level, the human brain is unable to determine what is real and what is being presented to it. The very essence of faking it ’til you make it lies in the way that we can stimulate our brains in order to manifest the necessary thought processes that will lead us to our end goals. However, the process of manifesting what you want in life is not just a one day activity. You need to practice these concepts on a daily basis in order to form the appropriate habits that will lead you to your ultimate success and the very best version of yourself.
Do you struggle with self confidence? Have you ever experienced the feeling of imposter syndrome? Does the fake it ’til you make it idea appeal to you at all? It really is one of the best methods for improving self confidence and achieving the success you want in life.
Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
Joining these Fabulous Link Parties.
Outfit Details: Shorts and Kimono-Torrid / Top-Ralph Lauren (Thrifted) / Shoes-DSW / Jewelry-Old
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
28 Comments
jodie filogomo
Really good ideas Shelbee. In a way, we always want more out of life so we will always be using these tricks.
XOOX
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
That is such a great way to look at it, Jodie! Thanks so much!
xoxo
Shelbee
Rena
Shelbee,
The way we carry ourselves is hugely important in how we are perceived by others and while it make seem “fake”, that’s only because we judge ourselves too harshly. More of us need to trust that how others see us is real and that the picture we have of ourselves is distorted. In any case, you look fabulous … this is an awesome outfit.
Rena
http://www.finewhateverblog.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Rena, my friend, thank you so much for this comment! I really appreciate your perspective on this one. I think you are absolutely correct that the way others see us is actually more accurate than the way we see ourselves. I had a conversation a while back with a friend of mine and I was discussing my perception of what I see when I look in the mirror. It was pretty ugly what I described to him and his response was that I am using my mirrors incorrectly! I tell myself that now every time I get cringey at myself in the mirror! It is all in the perspective really, isn’t it? A little positive shift in that and we should be good to go!
xoxo
Shelbee
mireille
That tank! Such a pretty color! I need to listen to music more often! I enjoy it but always forget. Posture is a good one too.
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Mireille! I don’t have a lot of turquoise in my closet but when I wear it I love it and I get lots of compliments on it. I should consider adding more of this color to my wardrobe, but I don’t need anything else! Haha. Posture really is so important. I have noticed that my posture has gotten worse with all the mask wearing because I have been averting my eyes and head downwards. Now that we can shed our masks, I have to work on improving my posture again.
xoxo
Shelbee
Tamar A Strauss-Benjamin
Love those colors and patterns!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Tamar!
xoxo
Shelbee
Maureen
These are great tips Shelbee! I definitely struggle with imposter syndrome and while I think I am lucky enough to snap out of it, I know that it’s there. I think there is something to be said about finding like minded individuals because I can tell, it really helps a ton when those you surround yourself with understands how you feel. I hope your week is going great and happy Thursday!
Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Maureen! I have struggled with imposter syndrome in literally every area of my life! But you are so right, when we can find our communities of like minded people and be able to share our stories, that’s when we realize that we are never alone in any of this. This is one reason I love blogging and the blogging community so much! You are all like my lifeline to reality and keep me from feeling isolated and alone! I hope you have a wonderful weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Jennifer
Compeltely agree with this!!
Jennifer
Curated By Jennifer
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Jennifer!
xoxo
Shelbee
Sheila (of Ephemera)
I have definitely strugged with self-confidence in my life, and even know, when I think…maybe?? do I have my sh*t sorted out?? I still have days when I feel useless, stupid and that nothing I do is right.
Wearing something that makes me feel powerful (Clothing As Armour!) or bright (Colour Therapy!) can really help, but the “Fake it till you make it” is so TRUE. And, it has basis in science! If you smile – even if you’re not happy and it feels fake – just the act of exercising your smile muscles will trigger the release of endorphins and make you feel happy. Smiling will actually work to make you feel better.
I so agree with the posture advice too (I highly recommend the arms-akimbo Wonder Woman pose!). It’s amazing how enacting a physical change can effect a mental one.
Thanks for the reminder! take care!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Sheila, thanks so much for this wonderful comment! I know some experts of late have been bashing the whole fake it ’til you make it idea, but the concept and practice of just that have gotten me through some pretty stressful times and bouts of imposter syndrome throughout my life. I have always viewed clothing as armor as well and color therapy absolutely works wonders! When I am feeling really crappy about myself, getting dressed up in my very best outfits, standing tall, smiling big, and doing something kind and generous for someone else is the magic formula for pulling myself out of a negative slump. I love a good Wonder Woman pose but also like the Superman stance as well. Both are great symbols of empowerment, confidence, and strength!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
There are a number of social qualities that one can’t study in book, so you’ve got to learn on “the job” so to speak. When I found out that my new financial advisor was going to require a lot more selling than I realized, I knew I was going to have to learn some of the same skills that extroverts do naturally. Yes, an introvert can emulate an extrovert. It takes a lot of faking it til you make it.
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I totally agree with this, Michelle! I had become a master at faking it in extroverted jobs. I pushed myself to do it on purpose so I could break out of my introverted shell. But I was never comfortable in those roles. I prefer sitting at home working on my laptop away from the daily interactions with humans. Although, you absolutely can emulate the opposite of what you are if you try hard enough! But it doesn’t always stick.
xoxo
Shelbee
Claire
Love the colours in your outfit, Shelbee. Beautiful Kimono 🙂
Thanks so much for linking up to The Weekend Link Up. I hope you can join us again tomorrow for Creative Mondays Link-Up. #TheWeekendLinkUp
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aw, thanks so much, Claire! Coral and turquoise are not abundant colors in my wardrobe, but they sure do make a cheerful combination!
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
Such great ideas. Thanks for sharing them.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Patrick! have a great day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Beverly
Shelbee,
Congratulations, you are being featured on Thursday Favorite Things. I hope you stop by. https://www.eclecticredbarn.com/2021/07/thursday-favorite-things.html
Hugs,
Bev
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh wow, thanks so much, Beverly! What a lovely surprise. I will hop over and check it out now! I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Lisa notes
I agree with you, Shelbee. There have been lots of occasions where I’ve had to fake it til I made it. 🙂 Sometimes just showing up itself is my version of faking it (when I’d rather be home!). lol.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Lisa, thanks for reading and commenting. Oh my gosh, I totally relate to your version of faking it by showing up when you’d rather be home. I laughed out loud at that, too. It’s funny because it’s true! Have a fabulous day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jeanne Takenaka
Shelbee, this is a great post. I tend to forget how powerful music can be. I loved the reminder that listening to upbeat music can impact how we view ourselves. Thank you !
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jeanne, thanks so much! I often forget to turn on the music when I am doing things around the house, but it really is a powerful thing and has some incredible healing power!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jeanne Takenaka
Shelbee, what a great post! Music is so powerful. Depending on what we’re listening to, music can completely transform a mood and a mindset. I’ve had it do that for me many times. Thanks for that reminder!
**I tried commenting before but I’m not sure it went through. Hopefully, this one does. 🙂
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I agree completely, Jeanne! And yes, I received both of your comments. I just have them set for moderation so that I can make sure to respond to all comments. Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I hope you are having a wonderful week.
xoxo
Shelbee