#EmbraceEquity for International Women’s Day
Happy International Women’s Day 2023! This year’s campaign theme is #EmbraceEquity and its mission is “to get the world talking about Why equal opportunities aren’t enough.”
I actually wasn’t going to write a post at all today, but then I read this article this morning about menstrual equity and I was inspired to write about that topic. When I realized that today is International Women’s Day and the campaign theme is about equity, it seemed like the perfect opportunity for me to climb on top of my period soapbox and have a little rant. Plus I had this cute purple outfit already photographed and purple is the color of today so the universe was sending me messages telling me to write some stuff. So here’s my ranting stuff in celebration of all women and women’s equity!
Let’s talk about menstruation. And why it makes so many people so uncomfortable.
Half of the adult human population experiences regular menstrual cycles complete with bleeding from the vagina. It happens every month for approximately 5-7 days over the course of about 40 years. On average, a woman bleeds from her vagina for a total of 2,500-3,500 days or approximately 7-10 years. And we still have to do all the things that we have to do even when we are bleeding. And if you never had a period, I will be the first to tell you that bleeding for days from one’s vagina is nothing short of completely and totally unpleasant. And yet, not only do we have to do all the things, bleeding or not, we also have to suffer through the embarrassment of period-shaming as well as the exorbitant costs of feminine hygiene products. I suspect if men bled from their penises for 7-10 years, things might look a whole lot different!
It is all so silly…the way we react and respond to natural human functions, isn’t it? Sure, it’s gross. Any time fluids leak out of our bodies in any form, it’s gross. Blood is gross. And seeing blood stains can be a little rattling for some. But just as everyone poops, everyone also bleeds. So there really should be no shame or embarrassment in either pooping or bleeding. Seriously, what is wrong with us?! We should all be ashamed of yourselves for our bodies functioning properly. Ha.
So how do we respond to menstruation as a culture?
A poll of 1,500 American women found that 42% of them have experienced period shaming with 1 in 5 of them being shamed by male friends. Twelve percent of women polled have been period shamed by a family member and 10% have been shamed by classmates. Of the 500 men polled, forty-four percent have admitted to making jokes or comments about their partner’s mood while menstruating. Fifty-one percent of men polled believe it is inappropriate for women to mention their menstrual cycles in the workplace.
So it is no wonder we feel ashamed of our periods. We have been programed by our society to feel shame. And shame is really great at silencing people, isn’t it?
About 73% of women have admitted to concealing their period products due to embarrassment and 29% have canceled plans if the activity might reveal that they are having their period. Additionally, sixty-three percent of women have canceled plans due to PMS or period pain and discomfort with 40% of them giving a false explanation for canceling. You can read some more astonishing statistics about period shaming in this article.
In an effort to rid our culture of the ridiculousness of period shaming, I have been openly discussing my menstrual experiences for most of my adult life. I don’t really care if makes people uncomfortable. It is a fact of life and it really does require discussion. While I am coming to the end of my menstrual years (it can’t come soon enough), I am still tormented on a regular basis by cyclical hormonal chaos. Yes, I still bleed. Yes, I still do all the things while I am bleeding. Yes, it is just as miserable as it was when it began 36 years ago.
As my sons are beginning puberty, I have been completely open and honest with them. I have made it very clear to them that as awful as puberty can and will be, they must remain grateful that they don’t have to bleed through it. I have also stressed the importance of them being sensitive, respectful, and understanding of their female counterparts who do.
To all the amazing women in the world who continue kicking ass even while our vaginas are bleeding, I applaud you, I respect you, and I am inspired by you. Happy International Women’s Day!
For more information about International Women’s Day and Menstrual Equity, the following articles are really helpful.
- International Women’s Day Official Website
- International Women’s Day Campaign Theme
- 601 for Period Equity
- Nearly half of US women have experienced ‘period shaming’
- Kenyan senator campaigns against stigma around menstruation (This is the article that inspired this post. Kenyan Senator Gloria Orwoba is my new superhero!)
Shelbee
Joining these Fabulous Link Parties.
Outfit Details: Sweater, Hat, and Scarf-Torrid / Jeans and Mittens-Gap / Boots-Shoe Dazzle / Top-Shelbee’s Shoppe / Socks-The Shoe Dept. / Earrings-Good Life Gift Shop
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
12 Comments
Patrick Weseman
Glad that you were open and honest with your sons, that is the only way to go.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Patrick! I guess I am kind of over all this “us against them” stuff! If we all know and understand the experiences of the opposite sex, we can all be more sensitive and respectful of one another.
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
I love this post! It boggles that mind that we treat normal body functions as something shameful that should be hidden. (I won’t elaborate on the cultures where menstruating women are relegated to another tent or what gave you.) I’ve been lucky because although I suffered cramps and low energy, my moods weren’t affected. So I’ve not been shamed, but holy hell, men can be real dolts. Important topic! Thanks for writing about it!
Happy International Women’s Day to you! And you’re so cute in your purple outfit. 😄
Michelle
https://funkyfashionstyle.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Awww, thanks, Michelle! Men really can be dolts sometimes especially when it comes to women’s matters! Haha. I just reached out to the school district to request that they show both the boys and girls puberty videos to both the boys and the girls. Currently, they only show the boys the video about boy puberty and the girls only watch about girl puberty. So how the hell can they ever understand each other’s experience if we keep it secret in our education system?! Hopefully they consider my request. If not, my boys already know all about girl puberty because I have told them!
xoxo
Shelbee
Nancy
I think it’s fantastic that you explained your boys about it. Every mother should do that.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Nancy! I actually just sent a message to Archie’s school suggesting that they show both the girls’ and boys’ puberty videos to both the girls and the boys. They sent a notice home letting parents know they will be watching these videos next month, but the boys watch the boy video and the girls watch the girl video. I think they should watch both and learn how the other gender suffers through puberty so they can be sensitive to and understanding of the others’ experience.
xoxo
Shelbee
Sheila (of Ephemera)
Excellent perspective, Shelbee! I talk openly at my work about menopause to men and women. Hey, half the world is going to go through this shit, so chances are, someone you love will go through it and you should know what it’s like for some of us! I remember being just so embarassed when my plain brown Tampax plastic case fell out of my purse when I was a teen, just like I wanted to die. No one ever talked about it, except in sex ed or whispers at sleepovers.
Great to see you – love the purple sweater!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Sheila! I love that you talk openly about menopause! It seriously effects every part of my life so I will not and cannot be silent about it. And I shouldn’t have to! Here’s a super embarrassing period story…When I was 12, I stupidly put a pad on with my swimsuit and it slid out and was stuck to the inside of my thigh. My father saw it and in a panic, he screamed across a crowded pool deck to alert me, “Hey, Mick! What’s that stuck to your leg? Is that a maxi pad stuck to your leg?!” Of course, everyone on the crowded pool deck turned to see if there was actually a maxi pad suck to my leg, which there was! Clearly, I survived the embarrassment because I am here to share the story! Hahahahaha
xoxo
Shelbee
Marsha Banks
I love this post, Shelbee! I can remember as if it were yesterday the first time I got my period. I was devastated. I knew it would happen, but I definitely didn’t want it. And, I’m guessing every woman who reads this post has a leak story! And, probably every one of us was embarrassed that it happened and that we weren’t better prepared. Like when do men ever care if their perspiration stains show? I also remember being at the store (Target, I think) and getting some tampons! I threw them to my husband at the checkout. He grabbed them, saw what they were, and dropped them in horror! I think he would respond differently today, but back then when he was still young, he was terrified. Isn’t that incredible? A grown man scared of a cardboard box full of basically overgrown cotton swabs?
I never hid my periods from my kids, but I don’t know if my boys even knew as their bathroom was upstairs, and mine was downstairs. I didn’t educate them as you are doing with your boys. So, keep doing that, Shelbee! You’re a fabulous mom and woman!! (And, you look fabulous in the purple outfit!)
https://marshainthemiddle.com/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Marsha, thanks so much! Oh my goodness, I am laughing about your husband dropping the box of tampons in horror! Thankfully, Jeff was never embarrassed buying period products for me. But then again, they used tampons for all sorts of things during deployments. Apparently, they are wonderful for stopping bloody noses and plugging up bullet wounds. Like you said, giant cotton swabs…very useful…and nothing to be embarrassed by!
xoxo
Shelbee
Sally in St Paul
This was a very interesting read, Shelbee! I didn’t realize period shaming was this bad.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Sally! Yeah, sadly, I think it definitely can be that bad.
xoxo
Shelbee