More About Me
My page Welcome to the Edge shared a brief description of myself, but you are probably wondering who is this woman and what does she have to offer me. I do not put myself out there as an expert of any sort. I often wonder where people obtain their qualifications as experts, such as these self-proclaimed “parenting experts” and “marriage experts.” Because, honestly, while my marriage is strong and my kids are healthy, I have to admit that I don’t really know what the hell I am doing in most areas of my life. But I wake up every day with a smile and I tackle the challenges that face me and every night I breathe a sigh of relief that we all have survived another day. I think what qualifies me to share the little information that I have acquired is simply my life experiences. I can share what I learned along the way, what mistakes I have made, and what things I have done right. I feel that simply surviving some of trials that I have overcome obligates me to share this information with others in the event that it may make the ride a little bit easier for you.
So, about me. I hail from a small town in Pennsylvania where I grew up, graduated from high school, and graduated from college before leaving town. And when I left, I didn’t venture very far…only about 90 miles west, then 60 miles east, then back again for a while before the Army sent us to upstate New York. During my time in college, I was a student-athlete (swimming) with little direction post-graduation. When I was a 20 year old junior, my father passed away from lung cancer. This event turned my little universe upside down. But I survived. Upon graduation, I had no job so I began a short career in retail management. I quickly married my college sweetheart. And just as quickly, the marriage came to an ugly and abrupt end. Suddenly, the death of my father was the easiest tribulation that I ever had to overcome in my short 26 years of life.
At the time of my divorce, I was working in the financial services industry on Wall Street and attending law school at night. About six months later, when the novelty of being a newly single 20-something professional woman in New York City wore off, I began to plummet into the dark depths of a very frightening illness called Bipolar Disorder. And I struggled for nearly a decade to find my way out of that blackness. In the midst of this struggle, I graduated from law school, lost my mother to colon cancer, dated a very abusive man, lost all source of income, and felt unbelievably hopeless on many occasions. But I made a conscious decision that my life was not going to continue this way and I started making changes. A lot of changes. Drastic changes. I am happy to report that I did find my way back from the darkness and I live a completely happy and healthy and what some may call “normal” life. In fact, I am currently living the life I always dreamed of!
I met my husband in 2008 just as I was gaining mental stability (probably not the best time to start a relationship or so the counselors would say, but something clicked, I told him everything, and we went for it!). We were married in 2010, bought the house of my dreams, and our first son was born in 2011. When our son was 8 months old, my world was disrupted again when my husband received deployment orders and was moved to Fort Drum, New York, for the few months leading up to deployment. I decided to stay in our home in Pennsylvania because I was pursuing my Masters degree in Mental Health Counseling at the time. Then I got pregnant with our second son, the deployment was canceled (thank my lucky stars), and we started planning to sell our house and reunite our family in northern New York. I had to give up my graduate studies, which upset me at the time, but now I have no regrets. I love being a stay-at-home mom! It is the hardest, most frustrating, most rewarding job I have ever done!
And then deployment orders came again. This time I was much more prepared. I had raised our first child alone from the time he was 8 months old until after his second birthday, so I had much more confidence in my parenting abilities; I was able to cultivate amazing relationships with some very extraordinary women in my military community; I have developed a network of support from friends and family that suits my unique circumstances; and I have found the strength within myself that every woman has but not every woman knows. And every day of my life, I feel blessed. Blessed for all I have. Blessed to be here. Blessed to be able to share with you all.
Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
22 Comments
Catherine
We have some parallels. I wo rked on Wall Street for years. I’m a New Yorker by birth. Now I’m stranded in the Philly burbs. Like you I’m divorced but have found myself in a great relationship with my Frenchman!
The kids are grown and I love when they visit. Luckily, I still get to go to NYC because both sons live and work there!
Nice to meetja!!!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
So nice to meet you, too, Catherine! I love the parallels! It is so wonderful when you find a fabulous woman who has so many similar experiences to oneself and to see where your journey landed you! I look forward to getting to know you better through your blog!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kellyann
Shelbee, I am so happy I took the time to read your story. You are a breath of fresh air and I wish I lived closer to you so I could meet you in person. We have some things in common for sure but I wanted to say how much admire you for sharing your story when that’s not always easy; you’ve definitely had your share of hardships but your strength and perseverance is commendable. So happy to have found you and I know I’m going to enjoy following along!
xo,
Kellyann
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Kellyann, thank you so much. It is responses like yours that validate what I do and keep me chugging along! If my trials, tribulations, and successes can help any one person have it just a little bit easier in life, then sharing all of the ugliness I have seen and experienced is so worth it! I am glad you have discovered me, too, as I have found a wonderful new blog to follow in yours!
xoxo
Shelbee
Stephanae McCoy
It’s a real pleasure to meet you Shelbee and I’m so glad we also connected on FB!! Your story is one of strength and hope that I know will help many people.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Steph, thank you so much for stopping by and reading my story. This compliment coming is so validating for me…because your story is one of strength that surpasses most people’s. I am so inspired by you and what you have overcome and accomplished that I am newly fueled to continue my blogging journey and sharing my story in an effort to help as many people as I can. Thank you so much for your kindness and support. I am so glad that we have connected as well! I would love for you to add some of your posts to my weekly link ups (on Tuesdays and Thursdays) so that my readers can be introduced to your you and story as well!
xoxo
Shelbee
Victoria
So great to meet you today (hope you enjoyed the conference)! I enjoyed reading more about your story on here! It’s very inspiring that you’re so open about it all and have persevered through so much – wow! I’ll have to tell my fashion-loving sister about your blog!
Victoria at ConsumerCatholic.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Victoria, thank you so very much! You are very kind! It was so very nice to meet you as well. I really believe in that old saying that we are put in certain places at the right time for the right reasons. So I don’t think it was by accident that I encountered you on the ferry yesterday! You have enriched my life just by hearing your story and your passion. I am hopping over to check out your blog now. Keep being fabulous!
xoxo
Shelbee
Bonnie
are you going to be in Watertown NY in April for girls weekend?
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Hi Bonnie, I am not entirely sure if I am going to be able to attend the girls’ weekend yet. I will text you in a few…trying to get my child settled!
xoxo
Shelbee
Mary Jo Caroenter
Shelbee, I’m so happy I ran into you today AND took the time to read your story. I never would of guessed what you have endured. Every single time I see you, you are nothing but fun, happy, talkative and a huge smile on your face. Just goes to show what a STRONG women you are!!!
XOXO
Mary Jo
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Mary Jo, you are so sweet! Thank you so much for checking out my blog and leaving such a lovely comment! Wait until you see all the fabulous things I left the thrift store with! A little retail therapy goes a long way!
xoxo
Shelbee
Lisa Blair
This is a beautiful truth, “I have found the strength within myself that every woman has but not every woman knows.”
This is wonderful! “And every day of my life, I feel blessed. Blessed for all I have. Blessed to be here. Blessed to be able to share with you all.” Thanks for sharing your journey – warts and all! I’m glad you persevered and fought for life and now get to enjoy the fruit of it. I’m glad you have a wonderful husband, family and community.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh wow, Lisa, thank you so very much for these wonderfully kind and validating words! I set out to do this blogging thing 6 years ago to share my story and spread joy and hope wherever I can. I did fight for life and I am so grateful to be here with the ability and the platform to share that fight as well as the all the beauty that came flooding into my life afterwards and beyond. I truly am blessed beyond words to be here and to have my supportive and loving circle of people around me. Thank you again for these lovely words!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jenny
Thank-you. I know it won’t have been an easy journey for you and thank-you so much for sharing your pain and letting me and others know we are not alone.
Good Luck and Stay True to Yourself
Jenny
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jenny, thank you so much for your very kind and validating words. None of us are alone on this journey and I feel an obligation to share what I have learned along the way in order to make it a little easier for someone else. Stay well and shine bright!
xoxo
Shelbee
Mary dreyer
I have a queston. Do you know what happened to Darlene from aquamarine style?
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Hi Mary,
I’m sorry to say that I don’t have any idea. She appears to be somewhat active on some of her social media accounts but her blog doesn’t seem to exist anymore. So I assuming she is doing well but just stopped blogging.
xoxo
Shelbee
Debra
Hi Shelbee, I have experienced the darkness, not personally, but as the parent of their child who has gone thru a dark time. I too had a dark time, just a different perspective. As my mom said to me, we made it thru the dark time now we just may have curves and small bumps in the road. We found a wonderful team of doctors who I absolutely love and I thank God every day.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Take care and best wishes.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Debra, thank you so much for sharing your experience as a parent. I know that being a caretaker for a loved one in dark places can be really difficult. Although I weathered some really dark times, I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything. They have made me stronger and wiser and more grateful and brought me right to the place I was meant to be! Your mother’s message was spot on. It reminds me a lot of P!NK’s new song, Turbulence. It is such a wonderfully positive song!
xoxo
Shelbee
Christina Queen
You are such an inspiration. I was reading your cleanse post and while I don’t know you personally I am so very proud of you and your journey. It is very difficult to achieve a goal such as weight loss or simply try to be more healthy. I, myself, have struggled with eating better and selecting a low-impact workout.
As for your creamer problem, as someone who moved from the States to France, I understand your pain.
I love French Vanilla creamer, but creamers are not available here. So after some research online, and learning that it is better to make my own I have done so, and thank goodness because I can not drink black coffee.
You can try this one from scratch,https://christinaqwrites.com/farming/recipes/homemade-kitchen-pantry-staples/, or you can simply combine sweetened condensed milk, your choice of milk, and splashes of vanilla extract (I do 7). Shake until blended and enjoy!
So glad to have discovered you!
Christina
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Christina, thank you so much! I will definitely give this homemade vanilla creamer a try! I think I will get some raspberry extract as well. Yum. I cannot use regular milk anymore so I will substitute oat or almond milk and see what I get! Please stop by and link your posts at my link parties. I host a few monthly ones as well as a weekly party on Fridays. I welcome all genres. I hope you have a lovely day!
xoxo
Shelbee