A Self Love Journey: How to Become Your Own Biggest Fan & Link Up On the Edge #245
The most important and enduring relationship that you will ever have in your life is the relationship with yourself. To have a joyful and satisfying existence, it is crucial to build this particular relationship on a foundation of self love and acceptance. By creating a healthy system of support and coping mechanisms, you will be able to thrive through the issues and problems that life may toss your way. It is so important to celebrate each and every victory no matter how small your victories may be.
Making yourself a priority is one of the best ways that you can shift your role in life from your own worst enemy to your own biggest fan. Keep reading for eleven ways that will help you on your continued journey to self love.
1. Become the person whom you have always wanted to be.
Take a moment to reflect upon the person you once were during your youth or younger adulthood. What were your dreams and aspirations? What were you seeking in life? Have you achieved any or all of these goals that you once laid out for yourself? Or perhaps your goals have shifted over the years and you have developed new ones. We are never too old to dream and dreams always have the potential of becoming reality if we are committed and dedicated to doing the work.
2. Seek growth whenever and wherever possible.
Life itself is a learning experience and we are never too old to learn something new as we continue to seek further growth for ourselves. By focusing on personal development, you are committing to a lifelong process of becoming the best version of yourself. Now is the time to stop worrying about making other people happy and focus on creating your own personal happiness. Our own internal happiness is essential for supporting and encouraging the happiness of the people we love the most.
Keep in mind that personal development is a multi-faceted process and will mean something different for each individual. It is important to refrain from the comparison game and remember that your journey to self love will not look the same as anyone else’s journey. Trust your individual process.
3. Learn to love the skin you are in.
Our personalities are as unique as our fingerprints and many of us have already come to accept and love all the flavor that our personalities add to the world. But when it comes to our bodies, which are equally unique and wonderful, we are often quick to compare and ridicule ourselves with every glance into a mirror.
Comparing ourselves to others in the world or on social media is a learned behavior that can be unlearned. But all too often, unlearning behaviors is a much more challenging process than learning them. We live in a vain world that constantly bombards us with messages about how we are supposed to look, but somewhere in the midst of all the noise, you have to find ways to boost your body confidence.
Obviously, it is easy for me to sit here and tell you to go ahead and boost your body confidence. But doing the actual mental work is much more difficult than just reading the words on a screen. You can be kinder to yourself in so many ways. Rather than focusing on all the things that you dislike about your body, shift your perspective to recognizing all of the miraculously wonderful things that your body does for you. Make it a point to celebrate those qualities as well. Positive affirmations and daily mantras really do work wonders on improving your body confidence.
Here are a few to get you started…
- My body is strong and it helps me to do all the things that I need to do.
- My body is powerful and helps me achieve my goals.
- I love and enjoy my body and all the wonderful things it does for me.
- I choose to feel good about myself and my body every day.
- My body is miraculous and beautiful and I will treat it with love and respect.
4. Find ways to stay inspired.
Inspiration acts like the fuel which helps to propel you forward on your journey to self love. When inspiration runs out, you may find yourself feeling stuck and unmotivated. Without inspiration, it becomes very easy to fall into the comparison trap especially with regard to social media. If you find that certain influencer accounts and platforms are contributing to any sort of negative reaction about yourself or others, you may want to consider unfollowing those accounts. Be more diligent in curating a list of social media accounts that bring you joy, inspire you, and empower you.
Another way to gain more inspiration is by displaying motivational perfection quotes and sayings around your home or office. I am a lover of quotes and often write my favorite ones on sticky notes and adhere them to the wall above my desk. You could also place inspirational quotes on the mirrors in your home or simply hide them in places to find later. These visual reminders will help to keep you focused on positivity and are a wonderful source of motivation and inspiration.
5. Give yourself a break.
Self love is not always an active process. Sometimes it involves doing nothing at all like taking a break, a much needed rest, time to replenish and rejuvenate. Just as our bodies need adequate rest for healthy functioning, so do our minds and souls. Give yourself permission to escape the busy world of daily responsibilities and just rest. Incorporating relaxation time for yourself into your daily routine will actually give you more energy and focus than if you try to push through without proper rest. And if you are unable to give yourself permission to take this time for yourself, then I hereby grant you my permission! Self care is never selfish.
6. Treat yourself.
While budgeting and saving help create an effective and healthy relationship with money, sometimes it is okay to splurge in the interest of maintaining an effective and healthy relationship with yourself. Retail therapy is a real thing and occasionally treating yourself to something fantastic is the perfect way to reward yourself for a job well done. It is even acceptable to splurge on yourself in an effort to boost your mood. Why sit around waiting for someone to give you the best gift ever when you can simply treat yourself? Gift giving is a love language that need not be reserved only for giving to others.
7. Take yourself on a date.
While the idea of a solo date night may sound a bit intimidating at first, I promise it is one of the most empowering ways to practice self love. Spending time alone either at home or in public not only illustrates that you enjoy yourself but it also helps you to learn more about your own needs and desires as you continue building a healthy and loving relationship with yourself. Dating yourself is a fun way to prioritize you. Plus you never have to consult with another for your date night plans and you can do whatever appeals to your personal fancy.
8. Express yourself often in as many ways possible.
Another way to practice self love is to find new methods of self expression. Whether it be through your personal style or other creative pursuits, stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new things is a wonderful method for introducing new self love practices into your life. When it comes to self expression through personal style, focus on wearing clothing that brings you joy when you look in the mirror. If you feel great in your outfits, you will always look great in them, too. However, if you struggle with creating a wardrobe that makes you happy, there are plenty of available resources to help you find your style after 30.
9. Celebrate your victories.
It is great to have a network of supportive friends and family to help celebrate your major achievements in life. But when it comes all the tiny victories, do not be afraid to be your own biggest champion and fan. There is absolutely no shame in feeling pride and confidence in your achievements. So take a moment now to give yourself a pat on the back and then go ahead and share your brilliance with the world.
10. Keep a journal.
Journaling is a very effective method for practicing self care and love as it grants you the opportunity to dive a little deeper into who you are. There is no prescribed method for keeping a journal either. It is as personal to you as your self love journey. You can use your journal to write down positive affirmations, plan your goal setting practices, process your feelings, or simply document your days. You can make your journal whatever you need it to be and use it for whatever purpose best suits your needs.
11. Begin the conversation and keep talking.
Much of what you do in terms of self care will be primarily introspective work, keeping the focus inward on yourself. But there are certain aspects of self care that will benefit from the input of others. Reaching out for help from your support network in times of struggle is an essential act within the framework of self care.
In our times of need and struggle, it can be difficult to reach out for help. You may feel like your struggles would be a burden to others. Maybe you feel shame about the issues you are dealing with. Or perhaps you are just too proud to admit that you might be struggling. Speaking up for yourself and what you need is absolutely necessary sometimes. Also being open and honest about your experiences will help to eliminate the stigma that is still attached to issues of mental health. Sharing your struggles not only helps you through the process, but it also helps others who may be dealing with similar issues in silence.
As more and more people become open about their mental health issues, that many more people will be unashamed to seek the help they need. Keep conversations of this sort open for the sake of your own well being as well as that of others.
How are you doing on your journey to self love? What types of self care practices have you implemented into your regular routine?
Featured Favorites
Reader Favorite (Most Clicked)
Anne of SpyGirl (aka Anne M. Bray on IG) shared her Vintage Fashion Challenge for the color green featuring the most amazing lime green coat ever! Be still my heart, Anne. This is just too fabulous.
Fashion Favorite
Maureen of Little Miss Casual shared her post, Madewell Bradley Cardigan. I love the color and style of this cardigan on Maureen and how perfectly it pairs with her fun floral jumpsuit.
Non-Fashion Favorite
Jennifer of Curated by Jennifer shared her post, Vintage Charm, featuring her editorial layout for Metro Detroit Weddings Winter/Spring issue. I absolutely love all of these gorgeous vintage pieces and the layout is just beautiful.
Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Parties.
Outfit Details: Dress-Torrid / Kimono-Charlotte Russe / Boots-JustFab / Earrings and Necklace-Target / Hat-Borrowed from a friend
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
58 Comments
Kellyann Rohr
Such great information Shelbee, especially learning to love the skin we’re in; boy that can be tough! If we can only change the inner dialogue! I hope everyone who reads this takes note and shares it!
Have the best weekend my friend!
xo,
Kellyann
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Kellyann, thank you so much! Learning to love the skin we are in is definitely one of the most challenging parts about self love. I go through phases as I am sure many of us do. But I am trying to keep myself in a more positive frame of mind about me and the rest of the world. I feel like I have focused too much on the bad stuff this past year and now it is time to love better and live life to the fullest! Have a fabulous weekend, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kathrine Eldridge
Yes to all of these points Shelbee! Journaling really helps me process where I am so I can move forward. I’m making self care and love a priority in the second half of my life. Love this pretty boho look! Thanks for the link up!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Kathrine! Journaling is such a great way for processing things. I don’t do it nearly as often as I used to because I sort of use my blog writing for much of my processing. It’s like you all get to read my journal! But I do keep various journals lying around the house if something strikes me that needs to be written down. I hope you have a wonderful weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Jill
These are great ideas! We put so much pressure on ourselves and I know I never give myself a break. Great reminder to treat yourself and celebrate victories! Love you dress and these photos! You look gorgeous!
Jill – Doused in Pink
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Jill! The self love journey really is a lifelong process. I have so many ups and downs in my relationship with myself that I certainly would have broken up with me long ago if I could have! Haha. But I am getting better about celebrating my small victories and giving myself lots of breaks! I hope you have a wonderful weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Rosie
Fantastic ideas. We could all advocate a bit more on kindness, self-love and body positivity x
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Rosie! I agree with you completely! I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Jennifer
Yes, yes,yes!!! This is something that I’ve been working on for a while now!! It’s been hard but I’m getting there.
Jennifer
Curated By Jennifer
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Me, too, Jennifer! I do think it is a lifelong process. We fall in and out of love with ourselves a million times! Just as long as our self love outweighs the days when we are in self loathing mode. Have a fabulous weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Amy Johnson
I just love that dress! It looks amazing on you!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Amy! I really like it, too! Have a wonderful weekend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Di
Shelbee, thank you for sharing this thoughtful post with tips for practicing self love and appreciation. There is so much out there in the world to get us wrapped around the axle! It’s nice to be reminded to treat ourselves as well as we treat others, especially as women. Also, love this beautiful look on you! Have a wonderful weekend!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Di! I agree with you totally…this world can knock us all of sorts sometimes, can’t it? Gentle reminders to practice self care and love are always needed, I think, to help us stay the positive course. I hope that you have a wonderful weekend ahead, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Gail
Good advice Shelbee. I am on my own for a couple of weeks so I will take myself out on a date – it’s something I used to do a lot. And because the hubster is away, I can do all the prep things like a long soak in the bath with candles, that I don’t have time to do! Have a good weekend
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Gail! Oh, I hope you have the best solo date ever! I used to really enjoy taking myself on dates before the craziness of kids and work started interfering! Haha. My husband is heading out of town tomorrow for 8 days and I am looking forward to indulging in some solitude at least while the kids are in school or in bed for the night. Have a lovely weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Tamar A Strauss-Benjamin
Such great, and important ideas!!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Tamar! Have a wonderful weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Natalie
Shelbee, I love this post so much. I just posted something similar about loving your skin that you’re in on my Instagram. It was a pretty raw, powerful post. But this was is just beautiful. I love the dress and that you paired them with those boots. It’s very Stevie Nicks. You gorgeous thing you!
Have a great weekend babe. I also followed you on Instagram too!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aw, thanks so much, Natalie! I wanted to wear my new tie dye boots with this dress but the ground was mushy mud and so I stuck with these black clunky ones. But I ended up loving them with the dress! I will have to hop over and check out your IG post. (I hate IG, by the way, so I don’t interact much on there just so you know. Haha. I don’t ever want to appear rude.) I hope you have a fantastic weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Renee Open
I share so many of those points! Committment to growth and challenging myself, *NEEDING* inspiration and chasing it, HUGE perponant of not comparing myself to other (causes ridiculous insecurity), and I love journaling 🙂
Great post dear and you look fabulous as usual … love the boots with the dress – HOT! 😉
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Renee! I do love to share posts like this because I feel like we all need these reminders sometimes, myself included! I really loved these boots with the dress, too. However, I had every intention of wearing these fabulous new tie dye boots I just got. I had them in a bag with me to change for the photos but the ground was really soft and muddy and I didn’t want to ruin them the first time I wore them so I left on my clunky mud boots. I hope you have a fabulous weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Joanne
OH yes! These are all spot on; though I often struggle with #3 still.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Joanne! Loving the skin you are in seems to be the one most of us have trouble with. For me, it’s all about keeping my perspective focused on the miraculous things that my body can do. This makes me appreciate the skin I am in which eventually leads to loving it, too! I hope you have an amazing weekend, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Tatiana
What a great post, Shelbee! It is such a great reminder to all of us! Thank you s much for all your tips.
I love your white off outfit with those black boots – very stylish!
Have a wonderful weekend,
Tatiana
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Tatiana, thank you so very much! I hope you have the most wonderful weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Katie
Such great advice! The ideas about making time for yourself and finding ways to be inspired really resonated with me. I also love your dress in this post! I hope you have a wonderful weekend, Shelbee!
-Katie
http://www.hellokatiegirlblog.com/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Katie! Finding ways to be inspired is a huge one for me because when my inspiration is lacking, I can fall into a negativity vortex rather quickly and nobody needs all that! Have a wonderful weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Rena
Shelbee,
One more and you’ve got yourself a 12-step program 😉. Seriously, each of those tips on their own is powerful and together they layout quite a compelling how-to roadmap. And you look freakin’ awesome. You must have had the best time with these photos because you just shine!
Rena
http://www.finewhateverblog.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Rena, thank you so very much! I laughed out loud about a 12 step program. I should add one more so I have the 12 steps to self love! I did have so much with these photos. I am glad that the happiness and joy shines through! I hope you have a wonderful weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Deborah Stinedurf
I absolutely love this post my friend…and not just because you look like a smokin’ hot prairie goddess! #1 & #2 are particularly spot on for & they play well with my current post too. I’m a huge huge fan of all things personal growth & I’m currently working really hard on living like the woman I want to be in the future. xo
Debbie
http://www.yourstyledstory.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Debbie, my friend, thank you so very much! I kind of felt like a prairie goddess taking these photos! Except for all the black flies that kept biting me out there in the woods! Personal growth is so important to me as well and I am always trying to be the best version of me. I love writing and sharing posts like this to help others discover the power that is within them. And I love that you have the same mission! I hope you have an amazing weekend, my dear friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
jodie filogomo
Learn to love the skin you’re in. Isn’t that a huge takeaway. I consider it a continuous thing, but it has been freeing!!
XOOX
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Yes, it sure is freeing, Jodie! It is definitely a lifelong process though, isn’t it? I certainly go through phases where my self love is high but can swing back to poor self image rather quickly, too. But the older I get, the longer I am able to stay in the positive mindsets! Have a wonderful weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Laura Bambrick
Absolutely fabulous tips Shelbee! Thanks for sharing! I think the most important ones are to give ourselves a break and treat ourselves! I’m so bad at that! You look gorgeous by the way!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Laura! You know, I give myself breaks often, but I need to do it guilt-free. What good is the break if I am mentally beating myself up for taking the break? That is something I guess we both need to work on! Have a wonderful weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Maureen
That white dress is stunning and you absolutely look amazing Shelbee. Loving the boho vibes and I can’t get enough! Self-love is definitely not a walk in the park. It takes a lot of work and even still, it’s always a work in progress. One thing I have learned in my journey is to be my own cheerleader. A lot of the times, in the past, I depended on other people’s opinion and reassurance. While it’s good to get feedback, at the end of the day you have to be okay with it, with yourself, if you know what I mean. I also practice gratitude and mindfulness. These two have been a major aid in terms of self-love. Thank you so much for the feature. I appreciate it very much! I hope you are having a fabulous Friday so far and wishing you a beautiful weekend ahead!
Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Maureen, thank you so much for this lovely compliment and for sharing a bit about your own self love journey. I agree that it is a lifelong process that we must actively engage in so we can maintain a healthy amount of self love. Gratitude and mindfulness have been so great for me as well. They both contribute to shifting my perspective to a healthier place as well. And I swear all of life’s happiness comes from perspective! I hope you have a wonderful weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Lucy Bertoldi
Love the way yoiu broke this down- I need to take myself out on a date- haven’t done something totally different or just for the fun of it! I love the point on keeping on leaning and getting inspired- that’s key for me. Have a great weekend xx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Lucy! I love taking myself on dates! I highly recommend it. Spoil the heck out of yourself without having to answer to anyone! I hope you are having a wonderful weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Lauren Renee Sparks
First off, I wrote about this very thing on my blog yesterday. It has been a life long battle for me to appreciate the body God gave me. And these are such great, practical tips. Second, that hat! Heart eyes all over the place!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Lauren! I think it is a lifelong battle for many of us. I definitely go through phases though. Sometimes I am all body positivity, other times I can’t even stand to look in a mirror. I am looking forward to reading your post on this topic as well. I hope you are having a wonderful weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Debbie O
Shelbee,
I always knew that you were a tree hugger! LoL
No serioously, you look beautiful in the white dress.
I too have had thoughts of what is the person that I want to be
or could be. Do I do this or do I do that, all actions have
consequences, do I want to pay the price or not? That is
the question.
Debbie O
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I definitely am a tree hugger, Debbie! I have been hugging them every chance I get. We do need to be kinder to our planet after all. I suppose there are consequences to everything we do, it is just matter of what something is worth to us. For me, I compromised my own true self for a really long time to please other people. I can’t do that anymore and so I live my life unapologetically staying as true to myself as I can. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. I hope you are enjoying the weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Midlife and Beyond
Thanks for sharing, Shelbee. So important we look after ourselves, I think we all slip sometimes and forget how important it is. You look gorgeous in these pics.
Alison x
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Alison, thank you so much! I think it is definitely a lifelong process as well because to err is human and we will all slip along the way! I hope you are well and enjoying your weekend, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
So very nice and beautiful words. The quicker we start doing these things the better. I am still getting to these points. Thanks for sharing these tips. It is something that we all need to remember all the time.
Looking very nice and your outfit and the setting are so very perfect for this.
Thanks for hosting and I hope that you are having a wonderful weekend.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Patrick, thank you so much, my friend. I think it is definitely a lifelong process for most of us to get to a secure place of self love and stay there! I enjoy sharing these gentle reminders because I need to read them just as much as anyone! I had a very relaxing weekend which was wonderful. I hope you have a great week ahead!
xoxo
Shelbee
Mica
What a great outfit! i love the pops of blue against the monochrome white, the kimono and dress are so perfect together! 🙂 Thanks for sharing these tips too – it’s so important to be kind to ourselves 🙂
Hope you had a great weekend! It was a busy one here! 🙂
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Mica! I had intended to wear blue tie dye boots with this outfit which is why I chose this jewelry and then it was too muddy and I had to wear the combat boots. But I liked them just as well with the dress. It is super important to show ourselves kindness! We had a relaxing weekend here. I hope your week is off to a great start!
xoxo
Shelbee
Cheryl Shops
Love the wisdom in this post, as well as your all-white outfit!
Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Cheryl!
xoxo
Shelbee
Leelo
This is such a wonderful post with so many great tips. I love retail therapy – it just makes me feel so much better when I can buy myself something new from time to time.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Leelo! I am gearing up for some retail therapy later today! I hope the shopping and sale gods are kind to me!
xoxo
Shelbee
Suzy
Shelbee, I think this is probably one of my favourite blog posts that you’ve written! I love everything about it. In fact, I’m going to add it to my bookmarks so I can have a read every now and again!
I love spending time on my own—I think it’s one of the most crucial aspects of being mentally healthy and happy. I also love that you included being creative. Creativity can be such a personal thing, but it’s so soothing isn’t it?
And needless to say, I LOVE your outfit, and I see what you me
an about it being similar to mine last week!
Huge hugs
Suzy xx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Suzy, thank you so very much! This post was actually prewritten for me but I rewrote the whole thing in my own words anyway because it really is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. You know how I love my summer boho vibes and this ivory lace dress checks all the boxes! Have a fabulous day, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Sheila (of Ephemera)
First, this is an amazing outfit – you look utterly like yourself in it, and I can tell you feel wonderful. 🙂
Second, gads, why do I alway need to keep reading these wonderful posts in order to remind myself that I have to KEEP taking care of myself. I so appreciate the reminders on the self-care, Shelbee! Thank you!
Third, much appreciation for the link party! How awesome is Anne’s coat?
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Sheila! I have to tell you that I left this dress behind in the store the first time I tried it on. I am not sure why. But then I couldn’t stop thinking about it and went back. Thankfully it was still available in my size, but was even cheaper than the first time I saw it. So yay for me! I think I paid around $20 for it, marked down from around $100. And I need to keep writing posts like these to remind myself to follow my own lead! So you are not alone in needing constant reminders to care for yourself. The struggle is real and the process is lifelong! And YESSSSSS to Anne’s amazing green coat! I hope you are having a wonderful week!
xoxo
Shelbee